 |
|||
|
|
13. Proposition
In all of their five years together, including all of their trials and financial struggles completing their education and beginning their respective careers, Victoria in the law and Keri with her PhD. in psychology, Keri had never been as upset and furious with her mate as she was at that moment. How could Vicky have been so cruel and callous? As Victoria had come from a far more conservative background and family, who had made it clear to her in so many ways that while they may accept her now declared lifestyle, they would never approve of it, she had always been more sensitive about what she thought were people’s opinions about her make-up. She had come to believe that she would always now have to battle in life against a double glass ceiling; her gender and her orientation. This underlaid her frequently hard and defensive nature.
“Well, what did you expect?” she retorted when Keri hotly demanded an answer to how she had just treated Sam. “I have to deal with some moron, who’s begun to practically live in our home, and I turn around to find him trying to put moves on the love of my life. How did you think I would react?”
“He’s not a moron, or an idiot, or anything like that.” Keri responded. “He’s one of the nicest and sweetest people I’ve ever met. He just didn’t know, and that really was my fault. I’m just not attuned to pick up those signs any more since I’ve found you. Particularly in men. And he’s so obviously lonely.”
“So we’re supposed to take him in like a stray dog?”
“No. Like a dear friend. As he’s already become to me. And could be with you as well if you gave him a chance.”
‘”I’m not interested in being a friend with any MAN.”
“Oh, get off it Vicky. A friend is someone who cares and is true to you, no matter what they are. And Sam is all of that.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure of that .” Victoria countered.
\
“What do you mean by that?”
She had cast the die, perhaps somewhat recklessly, so she had no choice but to follow through.
“I mean that now that he knows that he can’t have you, that you’ll never be interested in him that way, he’ll probably never come around again. And he probably won’t want to have anything to do with us anymore now that he DOES know what we are.”
“Sam would never be anything like that. I just know it. I know him.” Keri insisted.
“We’ll see.” was Victoria’s only response.
Keri really had very little doubt about Sam, but she knew that she had to talk to him, and as soon as possible. Facing down Victoria’s clear disapproval, she hurried down to Sam’s apartment and urgently knocked on his door. But there was no response despite a number of attempts. She went back twice more that evening without success, as well as several other times during the next two days. But there was never an answer. And Sam didn’t come back to their place either, and as the week dragged on without any contact with him, Keri began to wonder and worry that Victoria might actually have been right.
********
Sam had been well aware who had been knocking each and every time, even before she began calling his name through the door when the knocking alone drew no response. No one else ever knocked on his door, so it had to be her. But he had been totally immobilized by his embarrassment. How could he have been so blind? He had been so entranced by the attention she had given him that he had been able to work up what little confidence that he had to try to take it to a next step ... a date ... his first ever. He had known going in that it was probably extremely unlikely, but she had never mentioned a boy friend, so maybe ... just maybe. Of course not. It was all so obvious now. He really had been as stupid a fool and idiot as Victoria had claimed. What must Keri think of him now? He realized that she was trying to be nice, coming down to see him. But he couldn’t face her. He was far too ashamed.
As the week went on though, Sam’s agony only intensified as the aching void that for the first time in his life had begun to trickle full, once again became an empty and bottomless chasm. In his heart he had always known that reaching for anything more with Keri was a long shot, but he had at least come to the belief that the mere attempt would not cause him to lose everything. What made it hurt all the more was that while in his wildest fantasies he had thrilled in envisioning such a relationship with her, what really fulfilled most of his desires was just being able to do things for her ... for both of them. Nothing had ever made him happier than being allowed into their daily lives, being able to make their everyday existence easier and more comfortable. And that now seemed to be gone forever.
But Keri had come and knocked on his door. Several times. And he had refused to answer. Which only made things infinitely worse. Maybe she was just trying to end things on an amicable basis. She was that wonderful. But she come again and again. Had even called out to him through the door. A new thought began to grow into a fervent hope, and then into a frenzied dream. Maybe Keri didn’t want to completely sever their connection. Maybe she did want to maintain some kind of relationship with him.
If that was the case then he had to apologize. And soon. For everything. To both of them. He understood that it could never be as it had been. But maybe he would be able once again to do things for them, make himself useful, anything at all just to be allowed to be around. He realized that it was Victoria that he would have to convince. She would be the one who would hold his fate in her hands. He certainly could never allow himself to bring Keri any pain or upset by causing strife or disagreement with her partner. Her life partner. So it would be to Victoria that he would have to predominantly appeal. He would offer her everything in his power to make his case.
Barely able to contain himself now that his decision and frantic course of action had been made, he still waited until Saturday, when he could be most reasonably sure that they might both be at home. Gathering up the last vestiges of his tattered hopes, he resolutely walked down the hall to their apartment, took a very deep breath, and knocked. He was both slightly disappointed and relieved when it was Victoria who opened the door.
They both stood looking at each other for several moments, neither seeming to know what to say. It was Victoria who then took charge.
“Oh, it’s you. What, did you finally come back to gawk at the two dykes?” Initially pleased that she had momentarily driven him away the week before, Victoria had been affected by the pain which this had caused Keri, and by the further hurt her lover had felt when he had not made any attempt to come back. This had only heightened Victoria’s suspicions and defensiveness that he really was repulsed by what he now knew about them.
“No.” He insisted forcefully, fearful that he had already gotten off on the wrong foot. “I was just hoping that I could speak with you. With both of you.”
“Sam!!” Keri had come up behind Victoria to see who was there, and heard just the last part. She greeted him with a huge smile that quickly became more wary as she wasn’t sure what he might be thinking. “Of course, come in. We’ve missed you” she finished carefully.
Victoria sighed quietly and stood aside to let him in. They all went into the living room, and Victoria and Keri sat on opposite ends of their sofa, while Sam hesitated at first, and then perched himself upright on the edge of the ottoman in front of the easy chair across from them.
Looking both bored and indifferent, Victoria finally broke through the otherwise anxious silence.
“So what is it you so dearly want to say to us?”
Sam took an extra second to compose himself.
“I guess ... I guess that the first thing I want to do is apologize.”
“There’s no need for that, Sam.” Keri broke in. “YOU have nothing to be sorry about.” she added, glancing pointedly at Victoria.
“But I do.” Sam responded. “The way I ran away ... and then I took so long to come back to explain, to try to make it right.”
“Yes, you did.” Victoria agreed.
“And I do want to make it right.” Sam continued.
“And just how might you do that?” Victoria inquired dryly.
This was the moment that it all might hinge upon, and Sam directed his full attention to Victoria, with whom it would likely live or die.
“Well ... I know that you both work very hard, and are very busy at work most every day ... and I’m around most of the time, and I could do things for you ... you know, help keep the place tidy, make dinners for you, clean up afterwards, anything you need done at all.”
“Sam, none of that is necessary.” Keri proclaimed.
“Hold on a minute.” Victoria interjected, eyes now alight with sudden new interest. This might be an opportunity that would be too much fun to pass up. “Let me get this straight.” She now looked directly at Sam. “Are you saying that you want to be some kind of servant to us?”
“Vicky!!” Keri exclaimed.
“No, Keri.” Victoria responded. “This is a person who a week ago was trying to steal my lover from me. I think I have every right to know what his real intentions are.” While making this declaration Victoria had turned toward Keri with a half grin on her face, and when she finished she gave Keri a wink that only Keri could see.
Keri now realized that Victoria was in her mock lawyer interrogation mode, and not entirely serious. While this wouldn’t be particularly pleasant or enjoyable for Sam, maybe if she let it go, and allowed Victoria to have her bit of fun, and Sam was able to show he could play along and be a good sport about it, Victoria might finally be more accepting of him. And she was still a little upset with Sam for his prolonged absence for the past week. She gave a slight nod to Victoria and sighed, “Alright.”
Victoria turned her attention back to Sam, her slight grin now becoming a seemingly pleasant smile.
“So, then, I ask you again, Sam. Are you saying that you want to become our servant?”
This wasn’t exactly what Sam had been meaning, but now that he considered it, it did seem to be what he might have been indicating. And it was Victoria that he had to win over. If this is what it took to gain her approval ...
“I ... I guess so.” He replied slowly.
Victoria’s smile grew wider.
“But servants get paid, Sam.” she suggested sweetly.
“Oh no.” he reacted rapidly. “I didn’t mean that at all. I wouldn’t want any money. I just want to do things for you. Anything at all. Anything that you want or need.”
“But that would take all of this to a whole different place. That would make you something else altogether, wouldn’t it?”
Sam looked at her blankly.
“Come on Sam.” she coaxed. “You say that you want to be a servant who doesn’t get paid. What is a servant who doesn’t get paid?”
Comprehension began to seep in with Sam, and with it a strange stirring. He had no choice but to say it.
“A ... a ... slave.” He murmured softly.
Victoria’s eyes gleamed triumphantly, like an attorney on cross examination who had just cornered her prey on the witness stand.
“Indeed. A slave. Is that what you’re trying to tell us Sam? That you want to be our slave?”
“That’s enough Vicky!” Keri jumped in hotly. “Stop it right now.”
Victoria turned back to Keri, her victorious smile now became one of gracious concession. She had had her fun, and made her point, and was now willing to let Keri take this all wherever she wanted it to go. Keri did not appear so easily mollified.
“Yes.”
Sam’s one word reply brought their silent communication to a sudden stop, and they both simultaneously looked to him with a degree of shock.
As if by no conscious control of his own, Sam stood up.
“Yes ... I want to be your slave ... I don’t think that there’s been anything I’ve ever wanted more ... than to be ... your slave.”
Both women continued to stare at him as he stood there before them, so emotionally naked. There was no question for either of them as to his sincerity. It was Victoria who finally broke the tension-laden silence.
“Well, I don’t think that any of us quite anticipated this turn of events.” she began quietly. “I can see you believe that you mean what you say Sam,” She paused. “But I think that this proposal takes us all a bit by surprise.” Another pause. “And really deserves significant contemplation, especially by you, before any commitments are made.”
Sam continued to look straight ahead as if in a daze, and Keri remained stunned in silence.
“Why don’t you go home now and think about all this very carefully.” Victoria continued. “I know that Keri and I need to discuss it to see how we feel. Why don’t you come back tomorrow after we’ve all had a chance to sort out our thoughts.”
Sam seemed to come a bit out of the space where he had been, and nodded.
“And Sam, “Victoria concluded, “if you don’t come back tomorrow, or you come to the conclusion that this was all a misunderstanding, and you didn’t realize what you were saying, we’ll understand. And we make no promises for ourselves now either.”
Sam could only nod again.
|
|
|