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Two Three One
Author: Onewhoadores
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(Added on Dec 1, 2010)
(This month 63352 readers) (Total 97647 readers) |
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A 9 part story, slowly developed, of three people on a road to self discovery |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 9 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (9/10) |
Average
Rating:  (9.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (6/10) |
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| Reviewer:
nrjb2
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 28, 2011 |
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Very well done. I enjoyed reading the thoughts and feelings of each character. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
lurgertor
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 3, 2011 |
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Beautiful, well done. (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
Loraspa6
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 3, 2011 |
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Loved it, or should i say 'Adored' You tied it all together very well at the end (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
kinkcrazy
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 2, 2011 |
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Beautifully written, erudite, emotional, kinky, movie material. Its a slow smoldering spark that builds gradually, and while it never becomes an inferno of eroticism, it is a complete fire. The characters are well developed and the interactions and complexity of the three relationships is clearly dealt with. Keep these coming (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
star_catcher77
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 28, 2011 |
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Brillant, shows what's truly important in a piece of literature.
In many ways, it's missing some of the things that I look for in F/m erotica:
* I prefer somewhat longer stories
* I also rather enjoy detailed explorations of the physical nature of the domination and fetishes involved.
Sadly, smut-heavy stories are often miserably lacking in emotional depth, complex interpersonal relationships, and a satisfyingly tangible plot. Some people say these things are not all that important in erotica...I believe it draws the line between fetishists looking for simple masturbatory material and those who have a passionate appreciation for BDSM as a multi-faceted philosophy and lifestyle, beyond any individual fetishes.
This story would be more balanced if it had further explored the physical aspects of female domination. That being said, it had the emotional weight and literary skill that is getting harder and harder to find.
I loved it.
8.5 / 10 (Rating system doesn't allow this, so rounded up to a 9) (9/10)
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- Replied by:
onewhoadores
(Edit) (Mar 2, 2011)
- Star_Catcher,,
Thank you for your thoughtful and detailed analysis and review of my story. I did struggle with how much physicality to include in the developing relationship between the three characters in the story that I wanted to tell. To be fair, there is some, and that which there is, I hope that readers find enjoyable and satisfying. And in Victoria's musings in the final part there is certainly a hint of more being included in their lives in the future. Sometimes I believe such hints can be even more enticing to the imagination than actual written descriptions. But it is the emotional bond that develops between the three characters, as they discover previously unrealized wants and needs within themselves and each other, that is far more important to me and to the story. The three characters form a relationship triangle. On one side is the bond of partnership love and equality between Keri and Victoria. On another there is the companionship, almost familial bond that forms between Keri and Sam, further fueled by Sam's worship and adoration of her, and Keri's deriving ongoing emotional sustenance from this. Finally there is the dominance/submission bond that forms between Victoria and Sam which creates the third side of the triangle, where both of them discover those needs and wants within each other, and how important these become for each in their everyday lives. That they all come to eventually recognize these emotional wants and needs in each other, and determine to meet them for one another is the basis of the story, and the physical/sexual aspects of these relationships, while important, are decidedly less so.
Could such a relationship triangle develop and exist successfully in real life? I have a good friend and mentor who thinks not. But this is fiction, even fantasy, and I like to write stories with enough plausibility and reality that I, and hopefully some of my readers, can come to believe and dream that they just might.
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| Reviewer:
chuck
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 29, 2010 |
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Excellent start in building the anticipation as the relationship of the three develops. I'm looking forward to the later installments. The writing skill and style with attention to detail is outstanding. The submissive character seems too perfect in his ability to serve and his extended ignorance of the women's relationship is a bit far fetched, but without those traits, the tone of this fantasy would be completely different. (10/10)
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- Replied by:
onewhoadores
(Edit) (Dec 27, 2010)
- Chuck,
Coming from a writer like you, this is indeed very high praise, and is very much appreciated. Thanks
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| Reviewer:
humbleboy
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 9, 2010 |
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I'm loving the slow burn story telling. I can put myself in the head of each character, because of the good writing, so when the BDSM starts it should be all the more vivid. Please release this as quick as you can as I am hooked. (9/10)
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- Replied by:
onewhoadores
(Edit) (Dec 27, 2010)
- Thanks very much for your kind thoughts,humbleboy. I'm working very hard to get this out as fast as I can and I hope you'll continue to enjoy it.
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| Reviewer:
redscorpian001
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 4, 2010 |
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Love the way this is written.I think a lot of stories rush into the action much too soon. The whole scenario and set up is what makes this story interesting to me. Wondering what the relationship is between the girls. He adores the nice girl, but then there's the dark roommate. I love this angle personally. Keep up the great writing. Can't wait. (9/10)
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- Replied by:
onewhoadores
(Edit) (Dec 8, 2010)
- Thanks for the vote of confidence Redscorpian001. I hope that the continuation of the story does not disappoint. Please hang in there with it.
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| Reviewer:
shy_one
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 3, 2010 |
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where's the BDSM? Where's the eroticism? There's not even any teasing. It's about a nice guy who is a loser, a bitchy lesbian, and a nice lesbian, but no sex. There IS good investment advice, though. The writing is fairly decent, which was why I read it until the end. So, the author has promise, though I hope the subsequent parts are more captivating.
(6/10)
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- Replied by:
onewhoadores
(Edit) (Dec 3, 2010)
- Geez, give it a chance, will ya. It's identified as a 9 part story and these first two parts are clearly introductory. Anyone who has ever read any of my longer stories knows that I always start slowly and build, to allow the characters, and eroticism, to develop more fully and believably. You still might not like it at the end, but it would be nice to let it get there before trashing it.
- Replied by:
chuck
(Edit) (Dec 24, 2010)
- It would be best if you rated stories on their quality, not for the lack of features that you are looking for.
There is a reason for story codes. Your main objection was even addressed in the author's synopsis. If you don't like "slow," don't read "slow" and especially, don't unfairly rate it. Giving a story an artificially low rating not only does a disservice to the author but deters readers who appreciate this style of story from enjoying it because they avoid reading stories with low ratings.
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