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11. Introduction
She had smiled at him.
Sam still couldn’t believe it. He was usually invisible to women, a nonentity whose existence was barely acknowledged unless briefly forced upon them by some everyday circumstance, before he then so quickly faded back into the background scenery of life. It wasn’t that he was repulsive in appearance, or even below par. Or annoying in demeanor in any way. Nondescript might be the most likely term the majority of people would use to describe him, if any gave him a second thought at all.
This was not the way he would have wanted it. Although alone, he wasn’t a loner. An only child whose parents had both died a short time after he had graduated from college, he had never had much contact with his few distant relatives, and even that had now dwindled to virtually none. While he had a number of male acquaintances, with whom he interacted reasonably well, none had ever blossomed into a close friendship, possibly because try as he might he could never find much that interested him in men.
But women had always fascinated him, and he had grown to exalt and revere them. It was as if, to him, they all understood some mystery which he did not, and to which he would never be privy. Because of this failure he felt he could never be of any use to them, and none would ever find him to be of any consequence at all. Add to this his innate lack of confidence and an intense shyness, and so he had never learned how to approach a woman. Thus he never had.
But she had smiled at him.
He had seen the moving men bring in the many boxes and furniture to the empty apartment down the hall from his own the day before, and he had wondered who might be moving in. As he was leaving his apartment to do some shopping the next afternoon, he looked down the hall and saw her struggling with the lock of her new front door. She glanced up and over at him and immediately graced him with a smile. A welcoming, friendly, no questions asked smile. Startled and shocked to his core, he quickly cast his eyes down to the floor, hoping against hope that she thought he hadn’t seen her, and backed into his apartment and rapidly reclosed his door behind him.
Heart pounding and trying to catch his breath and regain his equilibrium he silently berated himself for what he had just done. She was a new neighbor and was probably just trying to be nice and say hello. Even to him. And he had been rude beyond belief. He had little doubt that she knew what he had done, and he knew that this time he fully deserved the disdain with which he was usually met. He had to do something, apologize in some way, and right away. Maybe she was having trouble with her new lock. Maybe he could help. Maybe that might in some small way lead her to forgive him for his incredible crudity. And maybe, just maybe, she would find it in her heart to grant him another undeserved smile.
Steeling himself and taking a huge breath he reopened his door and ventured out into new, and for him, unchartered territory. But the hall was empty. She had obviously worked the lock and was now successfully within her new home. His newfound but fragile courage did not yet extend deep enough for him to take the next step and traverse down to knock on her door and offer himself up to her judgement. Having no desire to do anything at all now, he slipped back into his apartment to further castigate himself.
For the next few days Sam’s emotions fluctuated between hope and terror. Hope that he might see her again, and terror that he would. In his heart he knew that he was being foolish. She probably wouldn’t remember either him or the incident, and even if she did it would likely be of no consequence to her. This didn’t stop him from anxiously looking down toward her door every time he left his apartment, or scanning the downstairs lobby or street outside for her whenever he was there. One time he saw another young woman leave the new apartment, but she didn’t even spare him a first glance as she walked by him down the hall.
He wondered if he had been mistaken about her living there, and began to resign himself to the possibility on never seeing her again. Then, one afternoon, on his way downstairs the elevator door opened and alone within it she was there. Holding two large bags of groceries, she appeared distracted as she was trying to decide how to maneuver the two other bags at her feet out of the elevator. Her flustered look changed immediately, however, upon seeing him. The dazzling smile returned.
With nowhere to retreat this time, and suddenly having no desire to do so, Sam took the step he had been rehearsing incessantly in his mind in an infinite variety of ways over the past week. Heart in his throat he stammered out.
“Can I help with these?”
“That would be wonderful” she answered, genuinely thankful.
He took from her the two bags that she was holding and bent down to try to pick up the other two.
“No, please.” she said quickly. “I can get these two. I live just down the hall.”
“I know.” he replied, and then kicked himself mentally for reminding her of their previous encounter.
He allowed her to lead him down to her door, where upon arriving she put her two bags down and began to struggle a bit with her lock once again.
“I keep having a problem with this.” she said, almost apologetically.
“Maybe I could help you with that too.” he interjected as fast as he could. “I had the same problem, and I think I can fix it by jimmying a bit with the tumblers.” He explained somewhat more slowly.
“Wow, that would be great.” she replied, rewarding him with another smile. The lock then gave way and the door opened, and she picked up her bags and entered. He hesitated only a moment before following.
The interior of the apartment overall was in a general state of disarray as there were still a large number of unopened moving boxes strewn about. She placed her two bags on the kitchen counter and he followed suit.
“Please forgive the messiness of the place,” she began, “and thank you so very much for your help. My name is Keri, and I guess we’re neighbors.”
“Uh ... my name is Sam ... and I guess so.”
“Well Sam, it’s wonderful to meet you, and thank you again. You were a real life saver out there.”
“I don’t think quite that.” he practically stuttered.
“Well, as you can see, it’s been very hard to get things done and up and running around here, so any help at all is a godsend.”
This was an opportunity he couldn’t allow himself to miss.
“I’d be happy to help you with any of the unpacking.”
She tilted her head and looked at him somewhat quizzically.
“Oh I think that would be a bit much to ask, and we’ve just met” she said. Then, seeing his face drop slightly, she quickly added, “But you can help me put away the groceries if you like.”
“I’d love to.” he answered, perhaps a bit too enthusiastically.
“Great.” she laughed pleasantly. “This may take some time, though, as I’m still not sure where to put everything.” she warned.
For the next half hour they unpacked and put the groceries away. With her permission, Sam set about rearranging both the small pantry and the refrigerator so that things were stacked neatly and with a semblance of order. He then spied a screwdriver in on of the drawers, and after asking her once again he went and unscrewed the front door lock, played around with the interior mechanism, and then with her key showed her that it now opened flawlessly.
“You’re a handy guy to have around, Sam.” she complimented when he was finished.
Blushing furiously he could barely get out a muttered “Thanks.”
“No Sam, it’s me that has to be thanking you for all you’ve done for me this afternoon.” She paused. “You know, I have a lot of extra salmon which I’ve just bought. I’m not much of a cook but how about staying for dinner as my small way of showing my gratitude. And so we can all get to know each other better.”
This was beyond his wildest imaginings.
“Sure.” he croaked, and then took a huge leap to add. “But only if you let me help cook. I’m actually a pretty good one.” turning red again from his boast.
“It’s a deal.” she concluded. “My roommate, Victoria”, that must have been the person he’d seen leaving the apartment earlier in the week he surmised, “will be home in about an hour or so. She’s a lawyer, and working hard to try to make partner in her firm, so you can never be sure when she’ll get home. We should have more than enough time to create a feast together. For all of us.”
“Whatever you say ...” He hesitated, and then said it for the first time. “ ... Keri.”
Sam truly wasn’t being boastful about his prowess in the kitchen. After living alone for so long, cooking and eating well had become one of his few self indulgences. Not that he ever overdid it. He was not overweight. Indeed he would probably be considered slim, if anyone took the time to consider him. And he was always conscious of eating healthy. But he had come to enjoy puttering around the kitchen, coming up with new and exotic concoctions to excite and satisfy the palate. This would be the first time he had ever helped to prepare a meal for anybody else however, and he was suddenly very nervous.
It soon became apparent, though, that Keri had only the most rudimentary and basic knowledge of cooking fundamentals, and she wasn’t shy about asking his opinion about how best to prepare the coming meal. With this encouragement he began making more and more suggestions, which she avidly followed. For the salmon he proposed a homemade dill butter sauce which he had made before as a garnish, and when she didn’t have all of the necessary spices and ingredients he dashed down to his apartment for them. He also brought back a number of different vegetables to add to the ones which she had, along with his favorite wok as she didn’t have one, so that he could make one of his special stir fries to accompany the fish.
Keri marveled at his culinary efforts and wasn’t reticent about letting him know so. As they chopped and diced and mixed together she quite happily carried on a predominantly one sided conversation with him, further introducing herself, and he was ecstatically content to just listen and be the recipient of her verbal attentions. She told him that she had recently finished her studies as a clinical psychologist, and had just started a job at a center for troubled teenagers. She went on to detail how difficult, demanding, yet exciting this new opportunity was for her, and what her hopes and aspirations were in the future in the field. In what seemed like a blink of an eye over ninety minutes had passed, the dinner was almost fully prepared, and he had helped set the table. She somewhat sheepishly acknowledged that she had been dominating the conversation, and had been remiss in not asking him anything yet about himself. Sam had been just as happy that she hadn’t, as he couldn’t imagine that he could tell her anything about himself that would be of any interest to her. Just as she began to ask, however, her roommate arrived home.
“Oh Vicky, great, you’re home.”
The roommate appeared surprised, and even slightly annoyed at the unexpected extra presence. About the same size and lovely build as Keri, she had straight dark brown hair as opposed to the somewhat wavy dirty blond hair which Keri had, and Sam felt that though she was clearly attractive she was nowhere near as pretty as Keri. He had to admit, though, that this instant first impression might have been colored by the rather severe expression she wore as she regarded him. Keri rushed forth with introductions.
“Vicky, this is Sam. He’s our neighbor from down the hall, and he’s been an unbelievable help here all afternoon.” She smiled widely once again. “Sam, this is Victoria.”
It was beyond Sam’s ability to be the first and foremost one to speak in such a circumstance, and a silence thus dragged on as Victoria seemed to appraise him from head to toe, and he began to wither mentally under her critical gaze as he surmised that it would now be the usual case, that if he was regarded in any way at all, he would be found severely wanting. Keri seemed to sense the uncomfortable vibe that now seemed in the air.
‘Oh come on Vicky, be nice. We’re both just meeting Sam, and he’s been wonderful all day. He carried my groceries in and helped me put them all away. He organized our pantry and fridge. He even fixed our front door lock.” She paused. “And he’s made us all a sensational dinner.”
This last was a bit too much for Sam. “We both made it together.” he protested,
“Oh, you’re way too modest Sam. I was at best the su-chef. This was by far and away your creation.”
Victoria was bemused by all of this by play, as if she didn’t quite know what to make of it, but that she needed to. She dropped the stern expression to a more neutral one.
“Yes, well, how do you do then ... it’s Sam, you said?”
Sam hadn’t said anything. To her. And now he could only nod.
“And let me try to get this straight.” she continued. “You and Keri made dinner. Together ... For all of us.”
Another cautious nod.
Victoria now gave him a half smile But it was nothing like the smiles that Keri had been offering. This one was almost feral.
“This should be very interesting.” was all that she would conclude.
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