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1Part 9. Questions And Crisis
For the week following Natasha and Scott’s wedding, Jeremy was unusually quiet, even withdrawn. He seemed particularly reticent to talk about the party whenever Meryn would bring it up. He continued to be very diligent about all of his chores, duties and care of her, maybe even more so than usual. It was just that it seemed to her that he was almost embarrassed about something. After a week of his not really responding to her subtle inquiries, she decided to meet the matter head on one evening during her foot massage. She discovered that he was not only embarrassed, but deeply ashamed of his actions on the night of the ceremony.
“But why Jeremy? I thought we had a lot of fun at the party.”
He was rubbing her feet much harder than usual.
“My behavior was way out of line, Meryn. I’ve been trying all week to ask for your forgiveness, but I haven’t been able to, because I can’t forgive myself.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I had an absolutely wonderful time with you.” Her lips curved up into a wicked smile. “Especially at the end.”
He lowered his head. “That’s what I mean. What I did was completely uncalled for. I don’t know what came over me.”
She laughed. “I think it’s called love. And lust.” When he didn’t seem to respond, she continued more seriously. “Really, my love, I loved that you took charge. I really like you to be in control sometimes.”
“But I was out of control.” He cried. “The things that I did. It wasn’t right ... It was like ... “
”Like what?”
“... like you were mine.”
She was stunned.
“But I am yours, Jeremy.” She protested. “Just like you’re mine. That’s the way it’s supposed to be.”
“Not like that. It shouldn’t be. It can’t be like that.”
And no matter how hard she tried to convince him otherwise, to cajole him, to encourage him, even after he appeared to surrender and agree with her viewpoints, she could tell that deep within, he continued to believe that he had no right, that it was unconscionable, for him to have acted as he had. Or in any way like it. She understood then, with regret, that this was going to be an issue for them for some time to come.
Over the next several days, Meryn didn’t quite know how to react to the situation. On the surface, things appeared to return to normal, with Jeremy making a good effort and show of it. But she could see that he was still clearly upset with how he perceived he had acted. She also felt that there was far more to it all than that. She thought back to his cryptic comments at the wedding. Did he need more of what they had witnessed there than she had been giving him? Did she need to be more of a Mistress and less of a Wife to him than she had been? He had always done everything he could, and more, to see to her happiness. Could she do any less for him? If that’s what it took to make him happy, to snap him out of this, she surely had to try.
The only role model Meryn had for any of this was Natasha. There were certainly many things that she saw in Natasha that she knew were beyond her and that she could never do. But she could emulate the attitude, the character as Natasha had called it. She resolved to try, and see what kind of response she could get out of her Love.
She selected the next Monday to start. From the moment she woke up, to be served her breakfast as always, she began acting more imperious and haughty. She stopped thanking Jeremy for the little things and courtesies he did, and no longer complimented him on his more extensive efforts, such as his always delicious dinners. During her daily foot massages, instead of discussing their day’s events as they usually did, she began to criticize his performance of his chores, even when they had been done perfectly. She feigned indifference to his nightly devotionals, and by the second night even took to reading a magazine while he offered his homage. She began snapping at him for no reason, and ignoring him much of the rest of the time.
By mid week she needed something to relieve the stress and tension that her actions had been causing, so after Jeremy completed his devotional for the evening, Meryn put down the magazine she had been reading, and looked down at him.
“Look slave. I’m going to give you a chance to make up for your sloppy performance with everything else so far this week. Let’s see if you can do something right for a change.” With that she lay back on the bed and spread her legs.
Jeremy needed no further encouragement. He crawled forward, and with his face and tongue enthusiastically took to his task. Meryn had never been able to say that he was anything less than an ardent lover. Working slowly at first, within minutes he had her writhing on the bed, and then accelerating his efforts, soon had her enjoying a particularly splendid orgasm. But she wanted more than lips and tongue this night, so as he continued his oral worship she grabbed him by his hair, pulled him up onto the bed and onto his back, and without any hesitation, mounted him.
She rode him hard and fast, and he worked furiously to keep up with her. She rode higher and higher until she reached the peak. As she did, she sensed him struggling mightily to hold back, awaiting the permission to cum that he always required, and which she always granted, usually right at the moment when they could share the climax together. It would not be given this night. After she rode him to the heights of her own passion, when she was absolutely spent, she collapsed off of him, eyes closed, to lay panting on her side. Jeremy lay next to her, painfully erect and totally bewildered.
As her breathing eased, and heartbeat slowed, she finally opened her eyes to look at him.
“Marginally better.” She said. “But I think a night of blue balls might just be the burr you need in your butt to spur you on to more adequate efforts tomorrow.” With that, she turned over onto her other side, away from him, and fell asleep.
Jeremy’s reaction to all of the week’s actions was to become more and more servile. Soon, his only response to her was either a “Yes Ma’am” or “No Ma’am”, with no unsolicited talk in any other way. He hadn’t offered even a small smile in several days. His domestic responsibilities didn’t suffer. If anything, they were even more exemplary despite Meryn’s ongoing sniping.
By the end of the week, which included another night of blue balls for Jeremy, Meryn had had enough. At work on Friday, she had even snapped at her assistant, Michael, and she knew she had to put an end to it. When she arrived home that evening, to be greeted by Jeremy with her customary cold drink and foot lotion in his hands, she sat down in her favorite easy chair. He knelt in front of her, head down, as if awaiting another verbal barrage.
“Jeremy, my Love.” She started softly, almost plaintively. “I just can’t keep this up any more.”
He looked up at her anxious face, and slowly a small smile creased his, the first one she had seen in almost a week.
“You aren’t very good at being a bitch.” He said, his smile broadening. “But I’d hate it even more if you were.”
She heaved a huge sigh of relief, then returned his smile.
“And you were a pretty poor excuse for a toad.” She replied. “Let’s just agree to be who we are. That’s good enough for me.”
“You’ve always been more than I could have ever dreamed , Meryn. Please don’t ever change.”
“Then it’s settled. You’re my husband. I’m your wife. I’m your Mistress. You’re my slave. It’s as simple as that.”
“As simple as that.” He agreed.
If it were only that simple, she wished.
“Something really smells delicious.” She said, changing the subject, and because she was suddenly very hungry, her appetite returning with a vengeance after several days.
“I made one of your favorites.” He replied. “Veal Sorrentino. It should be ready as soon as I finish your foot rub.”
“Yum.” She responded as she looked down at him applying himself with vigor in massaging her feet. “And Jeremy, after dinner, I’d like to postpone my weekly body massage until tomorrow.” Seeing a flicker of disappointment flash across his face, she went on. “I would like an extra special devotional tonight though. I think I’ve been missing out on enjoying it recently.” She paused several seconds before continuing slowly. “And then I have a very severe case of blue balls of mine that I’ve got to take care of.”
This was met with the smile she had so badly wanted, and had been missing for too long.
They quickly settled back into their comfortable routine. Meryn knew that below the surface there were still unanswered questions and issues, but she was content to let them be for the present, particularly after her recent disastrous experiment. This was made easier by their workload, especially for Jeremy. As had been previously announced, the head of his department had retired at the end of the last school year, and, as anticipated, Jeremy had been named the new Chairman of the English Department for the coming school year. His Principal, who was his strongest advocate at work, was urging him to put together the plan for a completely new and revamped curriculum and course of study that Jeremy had been developing for over a year, but had held off proposing in deference to the old chief. Now, with all these new responsibilities, Jeremy was far busier at work, and bringing much more of it home. He was finding it difficult to get his daily domestic duties done at night, so he was now usually spending most of Sundays in addition to his usual full day on Saturdays to complete his housework. Meryn tried to help out as much as she dared, but although he no longer complained when she contributed, she was sensitive, particularly now, that she not give any appearance that she felt he was incapable of meeting his perceived obligations to her, and his chores.
Because of their increased work schedules, they hadn’t been able to participate in many social activities. They had gotten together with Natasha and Scott a number of times. Surprisingly, Natasha had initiated several of these, coming up with interesting and fun ‘vanilla’ things for the two couples to do. They had not had any time to go away for any recent Fun and Games weekends, and just as surprisingly, Meryn found that she missed these as well. It might have given her more opportunities to see and discover the extent of Jeremy’s inner needs. And, in her heart, she now realized that she, herself, had come to very much enjoy the fun of those games.
The crisis came suddenly and unexpectedly several months later. After her division at work had posted their fourth consecutive quarter of record breaking profits, Meryn was named the company’s “Person Of The Year”. She was to be given this award at the company’s annual gala dinner. It was now an open secret that she was next in line for a Vice Presidency in the near future. The problem was that the gala was to be held on the same night as an important Board of Education meeting, when Jeremy was going to present his proposal for his new curriculum, and petition for the significant funding that it would take to implement it.
“Of course I’m going to be upset that you’re not going to be able to come to the dinner.” Meryn assured him when the conflict in dates became apparent, and he began suggesting alternative arrangements so that he would be able to attend. “But you have to go to your board meeting and make your presentation. I’m just getting an award. This is your future and your success we’re talking about. You’ve worked far too hard on this. You must go.”
And there was no further discussion to be had.
On the night of the gala, Meryn was dressed to the nines in a stunning evening dress that had Jeremy practically drooling as he kissed her goodbye as she left for the affair. It was during the cocktail hour, which she spent entertaining the well wishes and congratulations of many of her colleagues, that she received her shock. Striding toward her, dapperly dressed in a tuxedo, with a huge smile on his face, was ... her husband.
“Jeremy!” She exclaimed as he reached her. “What are you doing here?”
“I just couldn’t miss my Lady’s big night.” He answered, his smile still very broad. “When she finally gets the recognition she so richly deserves.”
“But what about your board meeting? Your presentation?” She replied, no smile on her face.
“Sheila,” his new vice chairperson, “is going to make the presentation. I’m sure it’s going to go fine.”
“But what if it doesn’t? You worked too hard on this, Jeremy. And even if it does, then Sheila is going to get all of the credit.”
“That’s not important.” He tried to answer.
“But it is.” She practically cried. She then noticed a number of people nearby looking at them, and Mr. Martin and his wife walking towards her to offer their congratulations. She narrowed her eyes toward Jeremy and said in a low, steely voice only he could hear. “We’ll discuss this later.”
For the rest of the event, both Meryn and Jeremy were congenial and engaging with everyone else. They sat at a table which included Natasha and Scott, who did provide some comfort for Meryn, as under the surface there was a tension, which only Scott seemed to notice. This tension did affect her enjoyment on receiving her award, and, indeed, her very real happiness that Jeremy was there to share it with her.
As they had come separately, they went home from the gala separately, with Jeremy arriving home first. When he met Meryn at the door as she arrived, she walked in, dropped her coat in his hands, and strode past him without a word to go sit on the edge of her easy chair, bolt upright. As he entered the living room, after hanging up her coat, she indicated that he should sit down across from her.
“Meryn.” He began tentatively. “I know you’re angry with me.”
“No, Jeremy.” She replied evenly. “I was angry when I first saw you at the dinner. What I am now is just extremely disappointed.”
A look of dismay crossed his face.
“This is the first time you’ve ever disobeyed me.” She continued. “And over something as important as this.” Her voice lowered, dripping with pain. “Your success. Something that obviously means so much more to me than it does to you.”
His look of dismay now became one of devastation.
“So yes. I don’t think I’ve ever been so disappointed.” She looked away from him. And then back. “I don’t want your devotional tonight. Under the circumstances, I think it would be meaningless. I don’t even want to sleep with you.”
At that, she stood up and walked into the bedroom, leaving him rooted, desolate, in his chair.
Meryn tossed and turned for the next several hours, unable to sleep. Had she been too harsh on him? She realized that his actions had been done in a desire to please her, to make her happy. He just didn’t understand yet what she truly wanted and needed from him. As she remembered the look on his face when she had left him in the living room, her heart wrenched. She got up from the bed, and went out to see to him.
She found him still in his clothes, lying on the couch, staring up at the ceiling.
“Jeremy.” She said softly, standing over him. “I know what you did tonight, you did out of love. And I love you for it ... I also forgive you for it.” She waited a few seconds. “Come to bed now, Love”
Jeremy turned his head and looked up at her.
“Meryn. I can’t. If you insist, I will. But please don’t ask ... I just can’t tonight ... I will tomorrow, I promise ... But not tonight ... Please.”
Meryn looked down at him. And nodded reluctantly. And went back into the bedroom. Alone.
After a virtually sleepless night, they both spent the next day being extra nice and contrite to each other. By the end of the day, things almost seemed back to normal. Jeremy prepared one of his wonderful dinners. During her foot massage, they talked about anything and everything, except the events of the previous day. During his devotional that night, which Meryn had insisted upon, he somewhat surprised her by not asking for forgiveness. Instead, he told her how much he loved her, how much she meant to him, and how he didn’t know how he could ever live without her. She knew that they both needed relief from the tension that was still swirling around them, so she gave him the signal she always used to indicate that his intimate attentions were desired.
Jeremy began his oral adoration with even more than his usual ardor, and before long she could sense her tension easing, to be replaced by far more delightful feelings. Her first orgasm was particularly strong, and as he continued his fervent attentions, she was rapidly approaching her second. But she knew she needed more. She wanted HIM. And to provide the relief he so desperately needed as well. She called to him to come up to her, but he seemed strangely reluctant, and continued to work furiously on her. Realizing she was again reaching a point of no return, she insisted that he get up and come to her, leaning forward to pull on his arms to get him to do so. When he did, what she saw came as a complete shock.
He was totally limp.
“Meryn. I’m sorry.” He whispered rapidly. “I’ve been trying. I don’t know what’s wrong.”
“It’s alright, Jeremy. I’ll help you. We’ll make it work.”
But despite the best efforts of her hands, lips and tongue, he remained irredeemably soft. After several minutes, deeply ashamed, he begged her to stop. She did, and crawled up into his arms to snuggle, and reassure him that she was sure that tomorrow everything would be alright.
Unfortunately, the next night produced the same lack of results, as did the night following. They decided to wait several days before trying again, but were without success that time as well, and experienced the same on a further attempt a week later. On Jeremy’s beseeching, he continued to try to pleasure her, but as time went on, she found that despite his best efforts, she could no longer come to orgasm knowing that he could not share in her joy. They soon stopped trying.
It was evident that Jeremy’s failure was affecting him greatly. He was becoming more and more depressed, and more frantic in working harder to find other ways to please her. She could see his growing despondency, and her attempts at raising his spirits by complimenting and praising him on everything big and small, only seemed to highlight to him his sense of inadequacy and failure in the one area that he believed, erroneously, was most important to her.
Meryn didn’t know what to do. With the type of relationship she had with Jeremy, this was not a problem one discussed with mothers or sisters. After much deliberation, she turned to the only person she thought might be able to help with Jeremy’s ... and her problem. She called Natasha on the phone.
“Meri, I’m glad you called.” Natasha began when receiving the call. “I was planning on calling you. I was hoping to set up another outing for all of us. It’s been over a month.”
“Ah ... yes ... that would be nice, Tash. But that’s not the reason I’m calling.”
“Meri, is everything okay?” Natasha responded, noting more than a hint of desolation in her friend’s voice.
She started hesitantly.
“Well ... Jeremy and I are having something of a problem that I could use some help and advice in trying to figure out what to do.”
“What’s wrong, Meri?”
“No, Tash. I don’t think this is something you can help us with. I called you up to ask for a favor.”
“Anything Meri. You know that. What can I do?”
“I’d like to ask your permission to speak to Scott. Alone.”
There was a long silence on the other end of the phone. Then ...
“I think you’re right, Meri. Who better to understand the morass that is the mind of a slave than another slave. Of course you can speak to Scott. Anytime, anywhere, for as long as you want.”
“Thank you, Tash. This is really very important to me.”
Another pause on her end of the line.
“You trusted me with your Jeremy on what turned out to be the most important night of my life. How could I do any less for you. I also want you to know that I won’t ask Scott anything about your conversation. He still might not have any rights to have secrets from me, but you always will.”
“That means a lot to me, Tash.”
“One last thing, Meri.” Natasha added quietly after another long pause. “It may be a little enough thing that you’re asking of me, but I want you to know that I think I’m doing this as much for Jeremy as I am for you.”
To Meryn, that meant even more.
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