The Family Feud
  Blu-Ray Edition – Now with extended bonus content!

The story is not about being perfect people. It is about imperfect people.

Perfect people would have never tied up their husband and son, wife or daughter in the first place.

This story is a journey. Along the way, mistakes will be made. Mistakes are not the end of the journey.

Mistakes are nature’s way of providing you consequences, so that you will learn to adapt. This story is an evolution.

An evolution of an imperfect family of four people, who don't yet know how perfectly imperfect they are.

Chapter One

“Hey dumbass! Before you turn into a mini Graymalkin, re-read what I said. I said Dallas got to five rings before the Steelers. And who did Dallas get Ring #5 from?? THE STEELERS. I didn't say who was what for standings against one another in super bowls.”

Iceman5142 had just finished another scathing exchange of wit on his favorite online message board and posted about the upcoming Super bowl. He thought to himself “That will tell them!”

He didn't even know the guys he spent almost every day for the last few weeks talking to online about football and television shows. But he enjoyed dominating the board with his vast knowledge of football and other important trivia. He had become an internet flame war champion in the months he had spent unemployed while looking for work.

Iceman5142, known to his family as Bill Taylor, was in the prime of his life, well at least chronologically. He was thirty-eight years old. He had a little bit of a gut. He had begun to lose his hair. He may not have been as fast as he once was and maybe his life wasn’t turning out exactly as he had hoped. But he was happy.

You see despite the fact that Bill had lost his job, he was married to a great woman. The truth, unfortunately, is that Bill was not that upset about being unemployed. It afforded him the opportunity to sit around in his underwear and read online message boards. Jerk off a little, catch up on some things around the house (like napping) and think about some projects like cleaning out the gutters or expanding the garage that he liked to say he was going to do (but never did).

When he first met Wendy back in middle school she was all knees and elbows. In High school she was that awkward geeky chick who sat in the back of the class and laughed along with him at the stupid jokes he told. She fell for him, in part because he was a high school football star.

After graduation, Wendy went away to college. Bill stayed home to work in his dad's office. It was during her college years that Wendy blossomed. She started to gain the confidence that made her the self-assured woman she is today. Of course, some might think that the breast enhancement which resulted in a perfect pair of 36D breasts had something to do with her new self image.

Whatever the source of her new self-confidence, when she came back from college she was walking tall and looking good, Bill mused to himself.

How he lucked out and she chose to marry him was a mystery to him and even more of a mystery to her many friends. He thanked his lucky stars every day, he had decided to talk to the shy girl back in high school who eventually became his wife. He almost hadn’t, it was probably the hand of fate that led him to speak to her, and if she hadn’t gushed at his attention he probably wouldn’t have noticed her.

Maybe it was just that while she was busy focusing on her career as a software project manager she didn't have time to hunt for the right mate. Maybe she wanted the stability she thought she would find if she married him. Maybe it was just a case of inertia. They had been dating for high school and she just hadn’t had just got swept up in the relationship. Who knows maybe, maybe it really was true love. That is what Bill told himself, when he wondered why a guy who looked like him, ended up with a girl who looked like her.

“Yes,” Bill thought to himself, on one of the few occasions when he was introspective enough to give it any thought at all. “That is really it,” clearing away the self-doubt that is natural for a man married to a much more attractive and successful woman. “I am her high school sweetheart, and she loves me. Lucky thing too. Because she has a great job so I can afford to sit back and relax a little before I start looking for a new job”.

He was joking of course. The new President had promised hope. But the old President had just left office and the economy was in the tank. There weren't any jobs out there. And even if there were, the competition was just too tough for someone with Bill’s education and skill set. Bill told himself that he'd go to monster.com and start looking for a job after things “settle down”.

But that was for later. For now he may as well log into his message board and enjoy a little quality time. Someone had recently started a thread dedicated to posting pictures of women's asses. He wanted to see what Graymalkin had just added and post an appropriate comment. In his mind the regulars on his message board were waiting breathlessly for him to give his seal of approval to the latest posts. He knew his online buddies would be wondering what he thought about the latest post.

Meanwhile.....

In a high school gym just a few miles away, Bill and Wendy’s son Chris Taylor was sweating his ass off. The coach had him running laps around the gym. For a high school senior to even have to be taking phys ed was embarrassing enough. But to be so out of shape and forced to run laps by a sadistic gym teacher was truly humiliating. It might have humbled someone more self-aware. Chris was immune to that sort of put down, he had heard it so often.

“Why was life so unfair?” Chris thought to himself as he huffed and puffed his way around the gym.

Chris, the eldest child in the Taylor household was a chip off the old block. He was a lot like his dad in many ways, not the least of which was his talent for underachievement. He really should have graduated last year. Now that he was eighteen he wished that he could be off on his own. Get a job…? He wasn’t ready for that yet. Maybe high school was easier, even if he did have to put up with this humiliation. At least that is what he told himself.

Chris was a little pudgy, just like his old man. He had sandy blonde hair and most of his classmates would describe him as being a little geeky. He had the misfortune of looking and sounding a lot like “Chris” from the cartoon “Family Guy.”

Chris thought that was really an unfair comparison since he had looked like that long before the cartoon came out. But fair or not, it was he who was compared to the cartoon not the other way around.

Kids can be cruel, as Chris knew all too well. There were a couple of guys laughing at Chris's half-hearted attempt to jog-walk the two laps the coach had given him for not dressing out today. Chris gave no indication that he noticed the students who were laughing at his expense. But he was upset by it. Not upset enough to take control of his life and make some changes. That is something he planned to get around to later.

That attitude was why Chris, a senior now, was still taking Phys Ed in the first place. He hadn't bothered to dress out for gym most days when he was a Freshman or a Sophomore and he had to make up the credit as a result of being one of the very few students to actually flunk that subject.

“How is this teaching me anything?” Chris silently asked himself as he rounded another corner thinking that Phys Ed isn't really an academic anything and shouldn't even be a class.

Chris had been sort of skating through life, a procrastinator's procrastinator. He always did the barest minimum that was necessary to get by. If he had a chore around the house or an assignment from school he would invariably wait until the very last second, and then “half-ass” it. That was almost his motto. The funny thing is, Chris isn't even sure where the term “half-ass” even comes from, despite the fact that he lives by it.

By contrast, Jamie, his only sibling, could not be more different. She was his exact opposite in every way. She had inherited her mother's good looks and charm. She was tall and slender and could eat as much junk food as she wanted and keep her perfect figure.

She was active as a varsity cheerleader. But she didn't really need to exercise. Her attractive figure just seemed to come naturally to her. She was bright, but she wasn't an overachiever. She carried a nice solid 3.5 GPA. Her sunny disposition and good looks made her a natural. She was one of the most popular juniors in the school.

She wore her blond hair pulled back in a ponytail. It whipped back and forth behind her as she strolled confidently into the gym. She had been allowed to leave English class a little early because her English teacher was a soft touch. She told him she needed to meet with some of the other cheerleaders to prepare for the game on Friday night.

Well, that was half-true. She did want to meet with a few girls who also happened to be cheerleaders. But just to gossip and shoot the breeze. While she talked and laughed with some of her friends, she caught sight of her sweaty older brother. She hoped no one would say anything. She was tired of being embarrassed by him in front of her friends.

Her best friend Veronica noticed him, though, and apparently couldn’t resist making a disparaging comment. She said “Ah, there goes tubby.”

Her friends all giggled and Jamie joined in. She had long since gotten past the point where she felt the need to defend her pathetic loser of an older brother, even though she still loved him.

Flash forward to after school....

“Mom wants to meet me alone. I wonder what this could be about?” Jamie thought to herself as she climbed out of Veronica's car and headed into the Panera Bread bristling with upscale clientele eating their paninis and checking their iPhones and laptops.

Wendy was just sitting down with a latte as her daughter entered the restaurant. She smiled when she spotted her daughter. She was so proud of her. She watched Jamie enter and thought, “Gosh she is growing up so fast! She is every bit the self-confident, empowered, modern woman I always wished I could be at that age; perfect complexion, graceful, smart, funny, and with her whole future in front of her. I am almost envious,” she smiled. “Almost.”

Wendy had just closed a big deal at her office and was feeling very good about herself. She was feeling more than a little ‘empowered’ herself. She spent long hours at work jockeying for political position and her recent business success would significantly improve her own chances of scratching her way a little farther up the ladder. “Women can be such bitches,” she thought. In her office all the successful women had become the managers (the communicators), while the men were the developers and analysts (the workers).

In this day and age, that may not seem all that surprising. Women were natural communicators while men seemed to gravitate towards 'fixing things' and 'working.'

Well, maybe not the lazy Taylor men, she mused. However, if you had told the average male office worker from the early 1960s that this is how things would be in the early twenty-first century they would have thought you were talking about the topsy turvy world of the Planet of the Apes. In their day girls were good for two things and only one of those things was typing.

Looking up from her latte she saw her daughter standing impatiently. She was making it abundantly clear that there were places she would rather be than joining her mother for a cup of coffee.

Wendy smiled and said, “Ah, Jamie…sit down. What I've got to tell you is something I have been thinking about for a long time. I really need you to be strong and in total solidarity with me on this.”

As soon as Jamie was seated, Wendy began the recitation she had been practicing in her head. Wendy was fed up with the situation at home. When she came home from a hard day at work she inevitably found herself cleaning her house before she could even get around to starting dinner. Each day she bit her tongue and picked up after her husband and her son and her frustration had begun to grow exponentially.

And why?! Why did a successful, hardworking woman like her have to perform these same menial tasks every evening?! Bill had been home all day. And what was he doing? Looking at porn probably. He hadn't had a single job interview in the weeks since he lost his job. As far as she could tell, he had not made a single phone call or sent out a single resume in his nonexistent job search.

It wasn’t just her husband, either. Her eldest son Chris wasn't exactly as popular as Jamie. His less than active social schedule certainly left him time to log out of Everquest or whatever he was doing on his computer and pick up around the house.

But it wasn't just that the men never did anything around the house to help. Wendy ran down her checklist of shortcomings. There was the fact that both males were becoming increasingly hygienically challenged. They didn't trim their toe nails, tuck in their shirts or shave. And since her husband had lost his job, and as a result of his unemployment he seldom left the house now, he had been known to go far too long without bathing. She had been forced to cajole him into showering on more than one occasion. And neither her husband nor her son seemed capable of dressing themselves to present a good image in public. They were both rapidly turning into pathetic slobs.

Jamie just laughed. She knew it was all true. Both men were a source of embarrassment and frustration to her, too. But she enjoyed gossiping about it with her mother. It was fun to take inventory of the shortcomings her father and brother were both exhibiting.

Wendy smiled at her daughter. She knew that Jamie was just as aware of the problem as she was. Her daughter was forced to do more than her fair share around the house because of it, too. Her husband and son both seemed to have bought into the archaic argument that housework was “women’s work” and beneath their dignity. Or, they were just lazy and didn’t care.

Wendy continued, “Let's talk about physical fitness. Lately, the only time your dad’s heart beats faster is if we are in the drive thru at Wendy’s and I get him a biggy fry instead of a medium. And I caught Chris watching aerobics in the living room on the couch eating Cheetos a few days ago. I asked him, ‘Chris, are you interested in doing aerobics?’ He just got embarrassed and changed the channel. He must think I didn't know he was really just checking out the girl.”

“Oh, mom” Jamie rolled her eyes.

“Look, the truth is that the men in our household, and I use that term loosely, need to shape up or ship out!” Wendy said. Her exasperation was evident. This was a conclusion she had reached a week earlier. But that was before she had fleshed out her plan and was ready to tell Jamie about it.

“Ship out?” Jamie asked skeptically.

“Okay. I know that sounds brutal. Heaven knows I love your father. But our relationship has grown increasingly platonic over the last few months. Granted, I am not home a lot lately. So your father is not totally to blame for that. But I have to admit that I am not as interested in him since he has started to let himself go. So yes, I do see where this could end up with us getting a divorce. Or worse, him having a heart attack because of all the Big Bacon Deluxes he eats. And as for your brother, he is my son and I love him. But he is as bad or perhaps even worse than your father and he has become increasingly intolerable. He should have moved out already. He is three years older than you and you are quickly catching up to him in school. He is becoming a slug!”

Jamie had been a little embarrassed at the references to her parent’s sex life, or lack thereof. But this blatant misrepresentation of her age was what finally prodded her to speak. “Mom, I am going to be sixteen in just two months!” Jamie exclaimed. She was a little exasperated herself. Her mother seemed to be having a hard time acknowledging that her baby girl was growing up.

Wendy sighed and replied, “Right, don't remind me...I know! Okay, he is ALMOST three years older than you. Is that better?”

Jamie just let out a long suffering sigh. But then the two laughed. They seemed to connect that way. They shared the same sense of humor.

Jamie asked, “So what is your plan, mom?”

It took the better part of the next hour for Wendy to reveal her plan to Jamie over a couple Mocha-Cappuccino half-caffs. They both laughed frequently and as they talked it over they modified the plan slightly until it was time for Wendy to leave for her aerobic step-class. The two parted, vowing to deliver their ultimatum to the males of the family later that evening.

The Taylor Women's Bill of Rights....

Iceman5142 was just finishing up a long day of posting on the internet and was cracking open a Pepsi when his wife asked him to join her in the living room.

“Oh is “Heroes” on? I’m not so sure about the new season. I liked that show when they first started out. But they have gotten really weird,” he said as he walked into the room.

Chris was sitting on the couch with his head buried in a paper he was reading. Jamie was standing off to the side waiting expectantly with one of those ‘cat that just swallowed the canary’ looks on her pretty face. She really didn’t think that this idea of her mother’s was going to work. But she was sure that it was going to be amusing.

“Why is the TV off?” Bill seemed alarmed when he asked the question. The only reason he spent time in the living room was to catch up on his favorite television shows. The concept of actually communicating with his family was totally beyond his ability to comprehend.

“Bill, we aren't going to watch television tonight.” Wendy’s expression was stern and her voice was cold. “I have something here that you need to read. I suggest you sit down. I want you to read the entire thing. It’s very important. Just read it to the end and when you and Chris are both finished we'll talk.”

“What the hell? This better be a joke!” Bill exclaimed. He was blindsided by this. They hadn't “talked” in a long time. And lately when they talked, Bill always seemed to feel like he was in trouble for something he had, or had not, done. But then, that was usually the case.

It didn’t do the predicament he was about to find himself in any good when he asked, “Is this about me not doing the laundry? I forgot...”

“Bill...Bill...hush,” Wendy demanded. “Just read it. When you have both finished, Jamie and I will be back in to discuss it.”

She spoke to him as if she were addressing a talkative child who won't listen to reason and it made him feel very uncomfortable.

The paper was entitled, “The Taylor Women's Bill of Rights” and Bill mockingly joked, “Wait! I AM Bill”

The girls weren't amused. They were already walking out of the room, Wendy first then Jamie, walking every bit as tall and proud as her mother. As they left the room one of them, he wasn't sure which, said simply “Read it.”

The Bill of Rights presented to the Taylor men read as follows:

Whereas the Taylor men have devolved into lazy, inconsiderate, cowardly, and out of shape specimens of manhood, totally lacking in motivation; we, the Taylor women, declare that from this day forward, it having become necessary in the course of our daily lives for this family to dissolve the traditional roles which have connected us with one another and for the women to assume the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and this nation entitle them, hereby demand that a decent amount of respect be paid them. In as much as the male members of this union have abdicated their responsibilities of protecting and providing for their family and are guilty of failing to fulfill their duties through gross negligence, it is hereby affirmed that the Taylor women have no choice but to seize control of the household until such time as the men have demonstrated their worthiness to once more assume their intended role.

We hereby put the Taylor men on notice and assert the following in our Declaration of Changes:

Article 1 - From this point forward, the Taylor women, Wendy and Jamie, shall assume head of household status and shall make decisions jointly and equally as they concern the state of the household and the finances of said household.

Article 2 - The Taylor men, Bill and Chris, who only exist as a drain on our financial status, shall waive their right to participate in such decisions and discussions until such time as they contribute to and provide for the family.

Article 3 - The Taylor men, Bill and Chris, shall do all house work and yard work. Said housework shall include, but not be limited to: picking up after themselves and the Taylor women; doing the laundry, to include ironing and putting away clean clothes; preparing all meals; cleaning the house correctly, to include dusting and vacuuming; cleaning the pool, and trimming and cutting the grass and shrubbery as appropriate. The women of the house shall inspect their work daily and determine corrective measures deemed appropriate to correct for lazy behavior.

Article 4 - The Taylor men, Bill and Chris, shall immediately be put on a diet and begin an exercise regimen. They shall be prohibited from partaking of unhealthy snacks and shall find their portions restricted. They shall log every morsel they consume in a journal on the refrigerator daily. Failure to comply with this provision shall result in corrective measures for gluttonous behavior.

Article 5 - Bill Taylor will get a job. Until such time as he is gainfully employed he is barred from accessing the internet. Unauthorized access to the internet will result in corrective measures.

Article 6 - Chris Taylor shall attain a GPA of at least 2.0 and maintain said average until graduation. In addition, he will get a part time job of up to twenty hours per week. Until such time as those conditions are met he is he is barred from accessing the internet.

Article 7 - The Taylor men, Bill and Chris, shall shower daily. Furthermore, they shall begin grooming in the manner set forth by the Taylor women. Bill Taylor will be required to sleep on the couch if he is not groomed to his wife's specifications. Wendy Taylor hereby avers and affirms that she will no longer sleep with sweaty, smelly, spongy, gas passing oafs.

Article 8 - The Taylor men, Bill and Chris, shall have their clothing chosen for them each day by Wendy or Jamie. They shall not deviate from their assigned outfits under any circumstances. In as much as they have demonstrated a complete disregard for their appearance and in as much as said disregard reflects poorly upon the entire household, failure to comply will result in corrective measures.

Article 9 - The Taylor men, Bill and Chris, shall henceforth refer to both Wendy and Jamie Taylor as “Ma'am” in as much as given names are for equals and the Taylor men have not proven themselves to be the equals of the Taylor women in any respect. The only exception to the aforementioned Article 9 is that Chris may continue to use address his mother, Wendy, as mom. Failure to comply will result in corrective measures.

We hereby demand the rights set forth in this Bill of Rights as two unsatisfied Taylor women who feel that with our assistance the Taylor Men can once more assume their rightful place in society, hold their heads up high along with other men, take their place as equals in the world at large and be a source of pride to the Taylor women.

Signed:

Wendy Taylor

Jamie Taylor

Bill read the entire document, waiting with growing impatience for the punch line he was sure was coming. When he had read to the end and realized that this was not a joke he raised his eyebrows and yelled angrily, “What the fuck is this shit?!”

He stared at the door that the two girls had gone through minutes earlier. But there was no response from the women.

He looked at Chris who was still reading, his lips moving as he laboriously sounded out the words in order to try and understand their meaning.

“Chris? What the hell! You were reading that when I came in! You aren't done yet?”

Chris looked up. He finally focused on his father and asked, “What, dad?”

“Chris, have you read that paper the girls gave us?”

“No. Why?”

“You've had your head down the whole time looking at it!”

“Oh, yeah. But it was too long and they used too many big words. What does it say?”

“Jeezus boy! It basically says that we have to do everything the girls say, or else!”

“Or else what?”

“I dunno. They just say corrective actions.”

“You mean like spank us?” he asked, half joking. He laughed nervously though. He really hadn’t a clue what this was all about.

But Bill took his son seriously for a moment. Bill yelled furiously at the closed door his wife had walked out of five minutes ago, “Yeah! What the fuck are they going to do? Spank a grown man?!”

In truth, the two women were sitting on the other side of the door and laughing while Chris and Bill discussed the note. They were listening to every word the two men said. They were just making the two of them sweat it out by not responding. Wendy wasn't sure what reaction she'd get from her wakeup call to the two men. She desperately wanted Bill and Chris to act like the men she thought that they should be. She was growing increasingly tired of the fact that they acted more like irresponsible young boys.

Wendy whispered to Jamie, “You know that's not a bad idea! We’ll spank them! You'd be willing to spank Chris wouldn't you?”

Jamie rolled her eyes and exclaimed, “Gross!” She shivered in disgust at the prospect of having to get that close to her loser brother. But since she didn’t think this plan was going to work anyway she said, “Look, it's obvious these two aren't going to agree to our demands. Chris can't even read it! Let's try a different approach.”

Wendy smiled “Well, I guess I was kind of harsh. It was intended to be slightly tongue in cheek. But I thought that they should understand that we are declaring our independence and stepping up to assume the responsibilities of the men in this family until they shape up. But I guess they just don’t get it. Maybe you’re right. We should go talk to them like responsible adults and just tell them what they are doing, and not doing, that we have a problem with and see if they will take ownership of their faults and address them. Maybe this was a crazy ploy...c'mon.”

As they were about to turn the doorknob and walk back into the room they heard a loud crash in the living room. Apparently Bill was throwing a temper tantrum. “Tell me I am not a man, in my own house! Well I’ll show you!” Crash—Smash “Tell me, I am too fat and stinky to sleep with! Well hell! I didn't want to sleep with you anyway! I've got friggin hotties online who want to sleep with me!”

That's when Wendy turned the doorknob with fire in her eyes and her playful disposition turned to anger. “What the hell do you think you two are doing?!”

Like two dogs who had been caught chewing up the toilet paper when you were out of the house they stopped their rage induced destruction and surveyed the room in sudden embarrassment. Well, to be fair, Chris was still seated on the couch staring at his father in shock. All four of the Taylors now looked around the room to survey the damage. Family portraits were knocked off the wall. Wendy's Grandmother's China set had been knocked off the mantle where it had been displayed since they moved into this house. Chris's XBOX 360 games had been scattered all over the place when the DVD cabinet they were in fell over. The two men were caught flat-footed without anything to say.

“You have been going online talking to women, Bill?” she accused, seething with anger.

“Um...well...I…” he started to backpedal, suddenly realizing his poor judgment.

“This is the example you want to set for Chris? The kind of man who gets angry because he is told he is lazy and not providing for his family and so he tears up the house?”

“W-well, n-n-no. B-but you h-have to um...admit that...” Bill was stuttering, the way he always did when he got nervous. His domineering mother often used to make him stutter that way when he was a kid. But he hadn't felt like that since he was Chris's age. “O-okay, b-but like it's alright for y-you to um be gone a lot and then...”

“Yeah Bill, I am gone a lot,” she replied sarcastically. “It's called working. You should try it some time.”

She looked around until she spotted the Bill of Rights she had prepared. She pointed to it and asked, “Have you two signed it yet?”

“Signed it?” they asked.

“Yeah, signed the Bill of Rights. I don't have all night. We need to resolve this and you two aren't going to get any dinner until this room is cleaned up.”

Even Jamie was confused. She thought they were just about to give up on this plan and have an intelligent discussion about their grievances. But she kind of got it. She realized that her father was being immature and it had made Wendy furious. And she had to admit she wasn't too proud of Bill and Chris right now, not that she really ever had been.

So Jamie said the only thing that came to her mind to show her solidarity with her mom. “And if it's not done by the time we return, there WILL be spankings!”

When she spoke, all eyes in the room turned to her. Actually, she and her mom hadn't talked about what would happen if the men didn't meet their new obligations. They were hoping the threat of 'corrective actions' was enough that they wouldn’t be required.

The only reason she even thought of spankings really was because her mom had mentioned it to her. And she knew that the only reason her mom had joked about it was that she heard Chris and Bill guessing what the corrective action could be.

But it was out there now, hanging. A heavy moment of silence filled the room as the four stood there. Bill and Chris, and even Wendy to some extent, were dumb-founded by her sudden dire promise of spankings. Had she just crossed a line? Would her father ground her for speaking to him, an adult as if he was a little child?

Apparently not! Instead he just grumbled “Fine! We'll clean up our mess! But what’s for dinner?” he negotiated. He was hungry and since this was his mess and he had planned to clean it up anyway. Chris was a little less enthusiastic since he hadn’t contributed to the present mess that resulted from his father’s temper tantrum.

Wendy instantly took advantage of her husband’s apparent surrender. “For you? Some lean cuisine frozen dinners. As for us, we are going to Panera. If anything is touched in the fridge before we get back, there WILL be spankings!” Wendy had quickly decided to back up her daughter and stand united on the threat of punishment.

The two women strode out of the house with their heads up and their shoulders back. But when they got in their car, they both exploded in uncontrollable laughter.

Wendy finally caught her breath and exclaimed, “Spanking? Oh My God!! Are you serious??”

Jamie chuckled and responded, “I know.” Then she shrugged and said, “But it was their idea. And besides, I was just backing you up.”

Wendy shook her head and asked her daughter, “Do you think they bought it?”

Jamie was more than a little surprised herself at how quickly her father had seemed to give in to her mother’s demands. She shrugged again and said, “I dunno.”

But she was pretty excited by the possibilities. In her mind she was already phrasing her message to her best friend as she thought, “I have got to text veronica and tell her about this!”

The Family Feud

Chapter Two

Wendy drove straight to her favorite restaurant, Panera. Jamie might have preferred somewhere she could get a nice pizza. But they were out to celebrate her mother’s victory. So she didn’t say anything about her choice of eating establishments.

They got their meals and selected a table as far from the other customers as possible. They had enough privacy that they could discuss what had just happened and how to handle the promised “corrective measures.”

Neither of them had ever spanked anyone and they had not really thought about the reality of actually hitting someone. In fact, neither of them had ever struck anyone in their lives. They didn’t even really know how to go about spanking someone, much less an adult male!

There was an awkward silence as the two of them ate. Neither one really wanted to address the easy victory they had just achieved.

“You know, Mom...We are actually going to have go through with it now” Jamie said grinning.

“Yes..It kind of scares me. I didn't really think past this part” Wendy admitted.

Jamie giggled good naturedly. “You are kidding, right?”

“No, I wasn't sure when I thought of this, if I was just sending a wakeup call to them, or what. I didn't picture myself being the boss, much less you. Do you want to go back and see if we can bluff them into shaping up?” Wendy asked her daughter.

“Well, I would say yes, but I think you know what promises from the Men in our family really mean?”

“True, True, Bill has been off and on diets and always makes new year’s resolutions, but then adds jokingly “Well...not THIS year, I mean the year after next I'll start that one.” He doesn't realize that it was a cute joke the first time he said it, but we've married a long time now.” Wendy admitted.

“So, that means for their own Good, we are really going to have wear the pants in the family.” Jamie said seriously.

“You ready for this?” Wendy looked into her daughter's eyes for a sign that this was too much.

“I am. It's for their own good, and I am tired of cleaning up after them. So it will be nice to see them have to get off their butts, but for that to happen, we will need to think of some consequences, now I remember one year at Band Camp...” Jamie went on to discuss with her Mom some of the methods that she remembered back in middle school that discipline was reinforced and the two laughed and came up with a half a dozen ideas.

Some of the ideas they had to admit were kind of half-baked and would require more work on their part to check on, than they would to make worthwhile.

In the end, they realized that men are motivated by only a few things. A comedian had said it best.

1. Sex
2. Silence (And football)

By Silence, they expanded that to things that seemed to comfort them. Sitting their ass in a chair and playing computer games, beer, and watching television.

In the case of Sex, well Chris was kind of hopeless but they both knew he kept a sock under his bed that he jerked off into “Ewww Gross” Jamie had said when her mom told her about it, but she had known it was there, she just didn't want to think about it.

Chris and Bill both liked online pornography, so maybe they could use sex as a way to encourage the men. Not having it with them, but as gross as it sounds, they knew that both of them like to masturbate and look at girls, not just online but watch them as they go jogging down the sidewalk in the evenings past their house in the suburbs.

So maybe cutting off their access to things like that, will motivate them. Give them some sort of edge of control. Jamie and Wendy's plan wasn't really all that severe, it was more good natured and playful. They were going to 'have fun with this' and the two women conspired and laughed, their confidence rose that this was going to be the change for the best and they may as well smile while they grin and bear putting the Taylor men in their place.

It had only been a few days, and already Bill and Chris were back to their old ways. Taking backsliding and half-assing to a whole new level of art form, they seemed even chipper they were able to dodge Wendy and Jamie's new requirements for them.

The guys of the Taylor household had a look of amusement on their faces, as they would 'accidentally' break a dish, or claim not to understand how a mop works (or in Chris's case, it was no act). This would require even more time and trouble for the girls than had they simply done it themselves.

This was starting to become a test of wills, Wendy pointed out to her daughter as they talked privately throughout the day. “We've tried being good role models on how to clean up and pull your weight, we've tried praising them and positive reinforcement, we've tried patiently working with them. It's just not working. They are a mess.”

Wendy pointed out it wouldn't be long until Jamie was away in college, but she'd be stuck with Bill for a long time, and probably Chris the underachiever would be living in the house until he was at least 40.

Jamie put her arm around her mom, and gave her a reassuring “Yeah, I know...and it sucks, but we've lost. It’s just not fun to try to keep them in line, they aren't trying, and they don’t seem to care if they half-ass everything. We really have nothing on them. Let's just tell them this goofy experiment is over, and we are going back to normal.” Reluctantly her mother accepted defeat, and they both walked into the Den to tell Bill it was all over.

Except Bill had his pants down around his ankles, fingering his cock. There was a long silence. The Mother and daughter drank in the fact that Bill seemed to be jerking it to porn on the computer.

“I can explain...” Bill offered up in a sudden panic.

Wendy was about to laugh and say “pull up your pants, Bill, when Jamie saw what he was really looking at.

That is when it hit the fan, as they say. The moment when it all changed.

The Family Feud

Chapter Three

It was not just any old porn. It was Jamie's friends from cheer leading, completely naked and standing in poses that look like very glossy BDSM pictures. Cages and whips in the background.

“What the fuck is this?” Jamie asked out loud. The question sounding so wrong coming from her mouth.

Her mom and dad were shocked to hear their perfect little angel cuss, she hadn't done that around them before, but then the situation really did warrant the question.

With some prodding, Bill admitted he and some friends had put up a craigslist ad for some models to do photos.

“With what money?” his wife demanded. He wasn't working and so the answer was obvious.

Rather than answer the question, Bill simply responded “Well..well, if we could sell them, we would have made our money back.”

“How can you sell porn on the internet Bill? Do you have a website? These are high school girls anyway, Bill...what were you thinking?” his wife’s tone was whatever the opposite word for supportive is.

At that point from the other side of the room “Who buys porn anyway? Girls put that shit on their facebook...haha..I seen dad's pics on Cathy Griffin's Facebook, she was so proud of her boobies, haha...stuck up priss” Chris offered flippantly.

“What?” even Bill wanted to know how Chris knew about his dabbling in porn.

Chris casually explained as if it was something completely normal, that he had always known where his dad keeps the porn on his computer. “The folder marked 'Not Pron'”, Chris pointed out his dad had categorized porn by all topics and subjects, public exposure, to double penetration and everything in between. He had obviously spent a lot of time categorizing what must be about 3 gigs worth of premium images and videos.

“You did this while you were supposed to be looking for a job?” Wendy asked her husband with her hands on her hips. Her tone was seething, the veins in her lovely neck starting to throb.

Bill laughed in a way that didn't seem to get the gravity of what was being asked, as if it was a silly mistake and said “Yeah, I know it sounds bad, but look me and Chris here will do extra stuff around here, like you want...”

“Oh fuck no....Divorce!! I am taking the house, the car...and Chris you can get your stuff and get the fuck out too...you can live with your Dad, he gets custody of your fat ass...I promise, I won't contest it...you two deserve each other...you sick fuckers.” Wendy didn't cuss either, but it had brought it out of her. She even lit up a cigarette IN the house, which surprised everyone considering how fit she was, that she even had them. No one asked her a word about it though.

She was so angry, that there was just silence. It hung there heavy and awkward.

Bill did not try to argue, debate, stall. He just quietly started to pack his stuff, and even Chris got his. They were loading up Bill's Truck with luggage when Bill came back in and started unhooking the family computer.

“Where are you going with that?” Wendy asked.

“Um...it's my computer...”

“No, nothing in this house is yours, you are lucky I let you pack your bags without checking them. If anything you stuffed in that bag is more than clothes, I'll take it from you when you get served with the papers, Bill.”

“Look, Chris and I have no where to go...I haven't been to the ATM, and maybe we could just sleep on this and cooler heads prevail in the morning?” Bill offered the olive branch. He didn’t want his wife to check, he had stuffed some important sports memorabilia from his glory days in high school under the clothes and sundry items he packed.

Wendy thought about it. “Bill...that was Jamie's FRIENDS you were jacking off too in here...we CAUGHT You doing it....Both your daughter and I saw your dick out, while you satisfied yourself...If it was anything else, maybe I could see it..but who knows what else you did on those photo shoots...what you paid for...get the fuck out of here, I don't want to see you again until the court date!”

And that was that, there was nothing left to be said.

                                                         

The Family Feud

                                                                     Chapter Four

A month had passed, and things were quiet and running smoothly in the Taylor  household. It was just Wendy and Jamie and without the Taylor “men” to make messes, leave things out, drop clothes on the ground, it was much easier.

They just picked up after themselves as they went, and they actually grew a little closer. Less mother and daughter and more older sister and little sister. They stayed up late and watched “Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants” and “Mama Mia” eating fat-free snacks, and doing “girl stuff”.

Meanwhile things had not gone so well for Bill. They had moved into an old rat infested motel that let you pay by the week. Unfortunately, for them, Wendy had cut his access to the ATM and they were finding they had run out of money pretty quickly. They were eating bologna sandwiches without any bread, or as they are more commonly known “Just bologna”.

Their single motel room was filled with wrappers and debris, old burnt beans still on the coffee machine they used as a makeshift hot plate. They had been wearing the same clothes for days, and Chris had racked up several absences at school because without Mom to push him out the door in the mornings, it never occurred to Bill Taylor to get up and make his son go to school.

Prostitutes walked up and down the “Track” in front of the motel from day to night. These were not the lovely Julia Roberts with the Heart of the Gold Prostitutes. These were the cranky, crabby, cracky whores who chain smoked and looked 50 even though they were probably only 30.

A couple of the women even seemed to take pity on them and exchange pleasantries, but they could sense Bill and Chris had no money and nothing going for them, so there was really nothing more than that.

It wouldn't be long before the two men, were kicked out, the landlord taking what little stuff they did have put them living out in Bill's Truck. Bill was pissed at “Rahjid” the owner of the motel. He hated the fact that every time he went in to negotiate for an extension on the rent, the little man had made him feel about ten inches tall and not accepted his excuses. It made it all the more easier for Bill to justify skating out on his final bill. “That will show him!”

He didn’t really think Rahjid would cry over the final bill, but it didn’t hurt pretending Rahjid would miss them as tenants and wish he had been more willing to give Bill some time to pay.

It was a rainy Thursday around 7pm when they pulled into the Taylor driveway. They were still wearing basically what they had on when they left. The lawn was mowed, the driveway clear. The Taylor House looked like the perfect suburban two story house, bright and cheery. Nothing like the bad side of town they had been living in.

“Okay Chris, when we go in...let me do most of the talking...you agree with them, whatever their conditions, we agree. Okay?”

“What?” Chris was not paying attention.

“Nothing..just be yourself..” Bill was already thinking maybe he would try to get back in to the House and it was time for Chris to move out, maybe he'd distance himself from his son so they didn't think he was such a bad guy. “That shouldn't make me feel guilty...I mean, he is almost a grown man” he thought to himself as he walked to the door, preparing himself.

He rang his own doorbell while the rain fell around them, gloomy day. They were soaking wet and looked pretty pathetic. He smiled to himself “may actually make them feel sorry for me.”

He waited for a few minutes, “Damn they sure are taking their time, they wanna rub this in”. Chris didn't respond, he was daydreaming.

When his wife opened the door, she was in a modest white robe, very fluffy the kind you get from that store in the mall that sells all the cool massagers and electronics. Bill couldn't remember what it was called, he wanted to say Sharper Image, but that is not it...oh fuck, he was apparently day dreaming too and his wife had been talking for a few minutes. He hadn't heard a word she said. “Brookstone”, fuck the store he was thinking of was called “Brookstone”. Oh shit, she was pissed he had been preoccupied trying to work that out in his head. Whatever she was saying she really meant, that is for sure!

When she realized he had not been listening, Wendy reached out and pulled the two men out of the rain. “Get in here dumbasses and get the clothes off, your soaking wet.....are you in agreement with the rules I told you out on the porch?”

“Sure, sure..anything” Bill Said.

“All of it, and you are sure?”

“Yes, whatever..its fine. I fucked up, are you happy? I am sorry..anything.”

“Okay, well take off your wet clothes” Wendy told him sternly, she was drinking what smelled like a delicious warm cup of hot cocoa and staring at them as they stood in the foyer.

“Okay..I'll just go upstairs, I may have something....”

“What?” Wendy chided him.

He had a look of confusion on his face.

“You'll take them off here, and hand them to me.” Wendy said firmly. “You already agreed, and that is the only way we are doing this. This is for your own good Bill, and that son of mine too. You are lucky we are willing to do this. We knew you'd come back, and I am actually proud you made it this long, looks like you lost a little weight wherever you've been.”

Bill was still confused. Standing in his doorway sopping wet.

“STRIP BILL....TAKE OFF THE WET CLOTHES!!” Wendy said raising her voice.

“Oh okay..I didn't know you meant right here.” he started fiddling with his buttons, almost instinctively without thinking about it.

“That is what I've been saying for the last 15 minutes!!” She blocked the doorway, arms crossed in front of her. Chris reluctantly started to strip as well. He obviously hadn't paid attention to what had been said either, as it was just registering with him.

“You boys are going to learn to do some listening, and to do that, this is going to be a shock to your system. We tried going easy on you, so now that you've agreed to our conditions, we are not going to go light on you!” his wife promised.

Wendy was trying to sound strong and brave, and assertive. She had thought about this scenario several times since they had been gone. Her husband is fairly predictable, she knew that he'd either go to his mother's or back home once he decided he couldn’t hack it on his own. Since his mother's house was further away, it was most likely he'd come here. He's just a lazy ass, she thought to herself. Things were going just how she pictured them, she only wondered if she would have the courage to really go through with the plan the way she envisioned it.

It was too late to turn back now. They were already naked, and handing her their soaking wet clothes.

The Family Feud

Chapter Five

“Losers make promises they often break. Winners make commitments they always keep.” —Denis Waitley

It had been only a couple days since Wendy laid down the law. It had taken the two of the Taylor Men a little while to get their heads around what was happening. Wendy had studied some of Bill's “scenarios” on the porn he took and saved on his computers, and she and Jamie had both agreed that turnabout was fair play. They wanted to see young girls prance around and work up a sweat pumping iron in the nude or jogging in place? Jumping jacks so their boobs bounced all around...they wanted them to bow and kneel.

Well, Bill and Chris would see how it felt.

Jamie for her part in this had been somewhat more than reluctant. This was a hassle and who wants to see their brother and dad's johnson flapping around the house?  She had a busy social life at school of extra-curricular activities, football games etc. She had tolerated the abnormal turn of events, with a bemused expression on her face.

Wendy had worked it out with her daughter, that Jamie’s role in this would be casual, but that she should also have a little 'fun with it'. She could get be playful with them, and at the same time get them to take care of even doing her homework, all her chores, and whatever leg work she wanted done.

Wendy was having a little ‘fun with it’. She was keeping them busy exercising and cleaning up. She would frequently walk in on them doddling and futzing around, and have to yell at them to get them back to work.

She had seen a show on Oprah about ‘positive affirmations’.  Developing a positive mindset is one of the most powerful life strategies there is. Using powerful positive thinking techniques, visualizations and positive affirmations. Thinking you will take responsibility, helps a person to take responsibility. When she had time between her busy work schedule and her own step-aerobics classes she would make them stand up and admit how they were going to be less lazy, take ownership of their mistakes, be better men.

Wendy was so busy with her career and outside activities, she simply couldn’t be home enough to supervise them. She needed Jamie’s help. Her daughter was already very active in school, an honors student who was a cheerleader in the middle of football season.

She had become a seasoned executive in part because she knew how to incentivize people, get them to do what she wanted. That could involve reverse psychology, appealing to their egos, offering them a title, but with her daughter there simply wasn’t a lot she could offer that Jamie needed.

Jamie wasn't so sure she wanted the “brain trust” of the Taylor men working on her homework. Wendy didn’t blame her, besides she was already an over-achieving honor student. She wouldn’t want to slack off, she liked to do extra credit assignments over spring break.

Wendy upped the ante, if she would help keep an eye on Bill and Chris and motivate them,  she would be considered technically a “Parent”. Which meant Jamie could come go as she pleased, got her own credit card, and would basically be treated like an adult.

Wendy felt that was win-win, her daughter wasn't a discipline problem, and soon she'd be away at college. There she'd have the same temptations of drinking and boys and parties, so why not see how she handles it now while she has a support system in place. Jamie was mature, and frankly she needed her for this. It was a two-woman job. Her “partner in crime” so to speak.

Jamie's final condition, was that there were parties for popular kids (football stars, cheerleaders etc) on Friday Nights. Her dad would buy alcohol for these parties, and Chris and him would cart it to whoever house it was, they'd even host one at their own home one night before homecoming.

Wendy had always wondered what kind of parents let their teenagers throw a full on party with alcohol in their house. Images of her stuff broken and drunken high school seniors laying face down on her carpet flashed through her mind. Wendy reluctantly agreed if she could find a way to supervise it. “One party, let’s see how it goes.”

‘How bad could one party be? The kids are going to throw them anyway, and my lazy son and husband can clean up the mess after; win-win’. She told herself  still nervous with the idea of kids with alcohol in her home.

Wendy and Jamie had an agreement, a pact of sorts. They would revisit the Taylor Women's Bill of Rights, and this time, they would make it hurt (for the guys).

The Taylor men on the other hand, having had a taste of life on their own, were not so excited about the changes, to say the least. However, they found themselves facing well-organized women who seemed to have a quick answer for everything and who seemed to be just taking charge. Bill and Chris were not coordinating their approach, they were just reacting. They were two individuals in the same situation. They weren’t sharing ideas or comparing notes. They were just trying their best to keep up with Wendy and Jamie’s demands.

Thursday and Friday went by in a flash. Things seemed to only escalate. Wendy would have to come up with a rule to address some behavior or bad habit, which in turn caused her to come up with yet another rule to address a new bad behavior as a result of her rule. She didn’t like to be reactive, she liked to plan and be organized. She spent time meeting with Jamie or talking on the phone, and the two coordinated, developed a ‘tag team’ approach to dealing with the men.

The first Saturday of the change for the men, set the tone for how things would be moving forward.

It was 7 AM and Wendy woke her husband up. He was naked on the couch. She had not slept with him since he got back. She also had not let him put clothes on in the house since he got back. She had however insisted he keep his ass wiped and take baths regularly, so he didn’t stain their couch with his sweat.

She hated to have to tell him to wipe his ass. That kind of crude language offended her, but she also didn’t want him leaving stains on her couch. Scotch guard or no scotch guard, she was not going to have it on her couch. Bill should simply know better, if he was going to be naked than to leave the toilet with the job half finished.

“You’ve got paperwork to do, before you can leave your thinking chair” she had joked with him. She found making jokes made it easier to accept that she had to take him in hand and organize him.

“Disarm them...keep them without their comforts, lets dangle them just out of their reach” She remembered telling Jamie her strategy.

“Get your sweaty butt off my nice sofa, right now Mister...”  she shook him awake.

“Wendy...can't I just have..” interrupted by a slap to the Bill's bare butt cheek. “Whoa Whoa!” Bill gave a startled reply before remembering he was to call her Ma'am. He didn’t want to hit her back, but the strike to his ass stung. It stung more to his ego than to his butt, but it did sting.

“Let's get in there and make us breakfast” Wendy ignored his groggy attitude.

Chris was already in an Apron when they went into the kitchen. His bare, pink butt peeking out of the back.

Jamie sitting at the table “You like the apron? It keeps in his moobs, and no pubes get in our eggs?” she asked her mom as if she didn't even see her Dad.

“What are Moobs?” her mom asked with a tickled expression.

“Man boobs...they were jiggling too much, put me off my eggs” they both laughed at Chris's embarrassment.

“Why are you standing here, you think this talk is for you?” Wendy turned to her husband, with a sort of stare that seem to warn him to join his son at the kitchen counter preparing breakfast. Bill didn't say a word. He dutifully pretended to work, while he collected his bearings about what actually needed to be done to make the girl’s breakfast.

She threw an apron that said “Kiss the Cook” at her husband and said “Not likely, you’ll get a kiss.” She giggled “but put it on and see if this improves your odds...let's keep your short hairs out of the breakfast...” . Wendy liked to say “Let’s” when she really meant Bill and Chris.

He did as he was told, but he made sure to move a little slowly about tying it in the back. His ass was hanging out, but at least his “junk” was covered. He had agreed to do what his wife told him because she had him over a barrel and things just seemed to escalate from there. His male ego told him that if he just stepped a little slowly at times, that was his way of being defiant to the authority imposed upon him by the girls.

There was a few  a few minutes of quiet awkwardness while the men tried to look busy putting together a breakfast that they were ill practiced to do.  Bill cleared his throat as if to speak, but Wendy interrupted him. “Bill is this the part of the morning like the last two where you ask for your clothes back?”

“Well yes it is Wendy, I mean...it's just not right. My daughter seeing me naked, seeing Chris...its...”

“It's what? Like you seeing her friends naked? No it's not, because as you can see neither of us are masturbating. We aren't playing with ourselves over it.” that silenced Bill's argument. “You see, the reason we took your clothes, is control. We don't need to see your “manhood”, and I use that word loosely...but if we let you keep doing what you were doing in your loose sweat pants and grimy unwashed tank tops, sitting around here, you'd drag asses...you actually work much faster this way. Now unless there will be anything else, chop chop” she said dismissively putting them back to work to finish preparing her eggs.

When they finished serving the women in silence, they waited standing next to them. “Good, boys....Chris you can prepare yourself a half plate and sit down.”

If Wendy looked up, she would have seen the confusion on Bill's face, hadn't he done everything she was asking, why can't he sit down, he wondered? If she pushes him a little bit further, he has just about it had it with this twisted game, it's not going to go on any longer, and if she does then he is....oh shit, she was talking to him and he wasn't listening. What did she say? Think Bill..think...his mind drew a blank.

“That is right, you are calling us both Ma'am around here and NOT Wendy or Jamie, you don't get familiar with your boss, you speak to them with respect, so you will stand right there, until you say it or you don't get to eat breakfast, which will help on your diet anyway....” Wendy stopped to see if he was listening.

“Yes Ma'am” he offered slowly. Half-congratulating himself on catching the last part of her preachy tirade Every morning she had been giving him tips on how to be a more effective husband and communicator, and better listener. It was SOOO boring, when would she just shut up and let him have sex again? Oh dear...oh no. While he'd been thinking to himself, he got a woody.

“BILL!!!” exclaimed Wendy with what may be a little overly dramatic shock.

“It's morning wood, morning wood...it is not anything....no no, it will go down.” He looked down helplessly at his bouncing pecker, standing up straight under the apron.

“Bill, we talked about this..morning wood happens right when you wake up, this is an erection and you got it while you are standing here in front of your daughter.”

“Gross” Jamie laughed at the phrase ‘morning wood’ and ‘in front of your daughter’.

“Do we allow you to walk around with raging hard ons?”

“No”

“No, what?”

“No....uh, oh, jeez Ma'am”

“Go stand in the corner, keep your hands on your butt cheeks where I can see them. I don't want you playing with it....I will check back with you in 10 minutes, if it is still up, you know what happens next?”

“Yes Ma'am” he said turning to one of the kitchen corners, thrusting his chest into the corner, putting his hands behind his back.

“No playing with your butthole either, I am not sure which way you swing..just keep the flat of your hands where we can see them, on those hairy mancheeks.” Wendy had thought she had caught him playing with his butt once, although he may have been scratching. That is what he told her after she confronted him about it.

Jamie giggled a little at her mom’s harsh instruction.

“Oh dear, you can order your dad around too, you know. It’s quite fun...it's good for releasing some tension. You've hardly spoken up, been having fun with your brother's situation?” she turned her attention back to Jamie while talking about Chris as if he was not even in the room.

“Not really mom, it's kind of creepy. It feels a little like something I'd see on Jerry Springer, I mean if anyone at school found out, I even hang out with him, I'd be a social pariah, but if they know I made him march around the living room high stepping, and jog in place, they would never believe it? Imagine if someone tries to write a story about this? The reader would say it's too unlikely, what family would do this?”

“Ha-ha, you seemed to be having fun yesterday, when you put him through an hour of Tae Bo?”

“Oh yeah, I guess it was funny to see him try to follow a cardio workout and dance to booty music in front of the TV...there is that.” Jamie agreed.

“And what about him cleaning your room, isn't he and his father starting to learn which end to hold the mop by now that you've duct taped it to their hands when they need to clean up?”

Jamie smiled “Mom, you are turning into a sadist! I guess that is kind of a funny, but a little surreal.”

Wendy smirked “What exactly is a sadist? I thought it was someone who beats people?”

Jamie gave a knowing smile “I thought it was just someone who barks orders and gets off on other people's suffering for their own amusement.”

Wendy looked a little disappointed. “Oh dear, I am not getting off on this...no not at all, this is tough love for Chris and Bill's rehabilitation. Once they understand the error of their ways, and come to their senses, and demonstrate that they will carry their weight, and act like men, this will all be over and we can go back to normal. “

She thought about her words and continued, “Except instead of two fat slobs, they'll be trimmer, healthier, live a lot longer. They will be taking responsibility for their shortcomings and working to improve them. Hell, no one is perfect not even us!” she laughed at that last part, even though she was serious.

Wendy finished her thought after taking a sip of coffee “but it's alright to have a little fun with this along the way..it shouldn't be all doom and gloom. I mean look at your father's fat butt in the corner, isn't that precious? Let me get the digital camera.


                                                                       

The Family Feud

                                                                          Chapter Six

The rest of the day had gone like the past few had, except because they were all home and part of the day wasn't spent with Wendy at work, the kids at school and Bill kept in isolation until Wendy or Jamie got home.

The men were put through exercises to tone up and increase their cardio, supervised while they cleaned up, and taunted and mocked. Taken all together it seemed to wearing down their will, making them more complacent and accepting that this is just how it was going to be now.

Still, there was some defiance, especially in Bill. Bill was play-acting, and Wendy could see that he just was going through the motions, perhaps as he had through life, getting the job, marrying the girl, but never trying hard enough to earn those things. These things had almost landed in his lap and he just happened to look the part of a middle-manager to have hooked a good job in his twenties and be good enough at sports to have caught her eye when she was so much more naïve about men.

Wendy thought about what Jamie had said about sadism and pain. The girls would switch off watching the two men and supervising them so that it didn't exhaust either of them to have to keep the boys in line.

They had taken to calling them “boys”, since they were no longer acting like Men, if Chris ever had. The switching-off had been an unexpected benefit, because while the new supervising female was fresh and ready to take charge, the men hadn't had time to recuperate and refresh, think of new excuses or reasons to be sticks in the mud. It was all working so perfectly keeping the boys in line.

In Wendy's break time, she loaded up Bill's computer and began google searching sadism. She read about how pain, both physical and mental could be a motivator. How what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. An unpleasant dose of pain, tells you not to repeat the same mistake twice. You won't set your hand on a hot stove after you do it once.

“Sadism is all right in its place, but it should be directed to proper ends.”

Sigmund Freud

She stopped on that quote, and thought what ends, should she deliver this sadism too?

As she thought about how to take the double meaning of that quote, she asked Jamie to take her brother shopping. She took Jamie into the other room to go over an agenda that would keep her out of the house for a few hours, and since Jamie now had the credit card that once was used by her father, it shouldn't be a problem to pick up a few extra things for herself from Urban Outfitters and Hollister.

“Take your brother with you, to carry your bags...” she said as Jamie walked back into the living room where two naked men were trying to look like they had been busy and not trying to eaves drop. They had surrendered their aprons hours earlier, and looked kind of ridiculous standing there naked around two fully dressed women with their milk white skin and flabby bodies.

“Hear anything interesting?” Wendy taunted a rhetorical question to let them know she knew they would be sneaky enough weasels to try to listen into her private pow-wow sessions with Jamie. They pretended not to understand and kept quietly working.

“Come on brother dear, I'll pick out something for you to wear...we are going shopping” said Jamie very luxuriantly. “Well I am going shopping, you'll be carrying what I buy.”

This left Wendy alone with Bill for a little experimentation and practical applied learning to what she read on the internet. It wasn't going to be a pleasant afternoon for Bill, she thought to herself as she waited for her daughter to pick out something for Chris.

She couldn't help but giggle as he came down the stairs wearing a powder blue tank top, and some very short-shorts with high knee socks.

“Oh isn't he adorable, but aren't you afraid the glare from his legs will blind some people?” Wendy mocked.

“Well, I was planning to go tanning, maybe we should invest in that?” Jamie suggested.

“Nonsense, regular sunlight is good enough for the likes of your father and brother. Even God rested on the seventh day, we'll let them lay out side in the backyard on Sunday and catch some rays, recoop.....IF they are good boys” letting it sink in that the relaxation was conditional on their behavior. Surprisingly the two Taylor males seemed to actually be pleased they would be offered a brief respite. It seemed pleasure and positive reinforcement may be a tool just like pain and negative reinforcement could be. She made a mental note.

“Come on, dum-dum” Jamie said to her brother and he followed her out of the house and got into their mother's car. Naturally, Jamie drove and she made her brother sit in the backseat. On the way to the first store she had additional instructions for him, protocol. He was to follow from a slight distance, he was to defer to her in everything, he was not to in any way embarrass her or there would be consequences. With Chris it wasn't really necessary to be explicit about consequences and rules. She could just sort of make it up on the fly as needed and he didn't seem to realize that her rules and how strict she was really changed with her mood. Right now, she was just wanting to get out of the house.

When they got to the first store it was Baby's R' US, Chris started to ask, but she hushed him. “Yours is not to ask, dear brother...yours is to only do...now be a good boy and get a cart. I want to see your hands out in front, both hands on the cart, so you can't do any funny business.”  she wasn't sure what funny business he may be up to, but it never hurt to just be vague and let him use his imagination.

As he pushed the cart, they walked through the store and she would tell him to put in baby pacifiers, large diapers, and a variety of really odd things for people that have no babies. She usually made sure to go out of her way to pick something that really required him to reach. If there was something closer, she'd pick a different brand so it was either on the very top or bottom shelf. So much for those brands that pay for their products to be placed at the middle eye-level shelving in stores as a form of subliminal advertising she thought.

“What have we here, it's Cathy Griffin, fellow cheerleader of the Cherry Lawn Cougars...hows it shaking mama?” said Jamie feeling kind of playful with all this power, it was a sort of confidence high. “I didn't know you worked here?”

“Oh hi Jamie” She scrunched up her nose at Chris as she turned around as if was unexpected. “Yah, you..um...I just started here a few weeks ago....uh hi,  it's um Chip isn't it?” she tried to politely acknowledge her brother.

“Sure Chip is fine” Jamie answered for her brother before he could “It's a lot better than what I call him” she said half-jokingly “I am sure you've seen my brother around school before?”

“Yes... I guess I have” Cathy acknowledged.

“Well, he has DEFINITELY seen you around before....” Jamie joked.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Jamie smiled thinking back to the fact, that her brother had been well aware of his father's stash of cheerleader amateur nude modeling, and that Cathy was the one who happened to be on the screen when his father was cycling through whatever fantasy he needs to jerk it too. “Oh nothing, just that I think my brother may have a crush on you...isn't that right Cow-chip?”

Chris wasn't sure what to say, he sort of hemmed and hawed for a second.

“What is that Chris? Now is your chance...don't you want to ask Cathy out? Didn't you say you liked her name because it sounds like Kathy Griffin the comedian and she has red hair just like her?” Jamie smiled she knew Cathy hated comparisons to the comedienne namesake. It was just a coincidence they shared the same name. Jamie wasn't sure who she enjoyed digging at more, Chris or Cathy who had been a little bit stuck up to her in the past and there was something intoxicating about bossing men around that was giving her a boost of confidence and lowering her inhibition on what to say next.

There was a silence.

“Gosh you can cut the sexual tension between you two with a knife, huh?” Jamie smiled coyly.

Cathy changed the subject; she would have just walked away except she worked here. When you work in retail it's a habit to ask “So you need any help with anything?”

“Yes, I've got to get some fleet enema bottles, what aisle would they be on?” Jamie said without any hesitation.

Cathy looked a little confused, that wasn't something people usually asked for. It's a big store, it carries not only baby stuff, but things for mothers such as breast pumps, and even enemas in one section. “Um...what do you need this stuff for, starting a babysitters club?” Cathy asked.

“Oh that was a good movie....it's the one where the cheerleaders all become whores and start charging the men in the neighborhood for sex, right?” Jamie asked with a definite pointed tone.

There was a silence.

Cathy was about to interrupt it and get back to work, when Jamie said “The diapers are for my brother, he pees the bed at night, like a widdle baby, don't you Chrissy-pissy?” she used soothing babytalk as he pinched her cheek.

He wanted to brush her hand away, but he had been staring at Cathy's sweater meat the whole time. Seeing her this close for this long with clothes on was sexier by far than the images he saw of her standing next to a pool table completely naked.

“Um...yes...yes...” he said as if by habit agreeing with his sister.

“Yes, what, dear brother?”

He became self-aware at that moment. He had almost been in a trance like state up to this point, waltzing through this because Dad was. It suddenly dawned on him what she was expecting him to say AND to admit too.

“Yes, Ma’am, I piss my bed, the diapers are for me?” his tone went up at the end, making it clearly a question.

“Are you asking us, or telling us?” Jamie teased.

After a few more awkward exchanges to get a reaction from Cathy, she pulled Jamie to the side and asked “Is your brother retarded? It's terrible you make him call you ma'am and tease him this way!!”

“No, he's not retarded, he lost a bet” Jamie said lying, because it's far too long a story to give several chapters of essential background that doesn't contain anything juicy. It'd take at least four or five chapters before anyone could really appreciate just how things got the way they are.

“OMG, that is hilarious, you should have told me. I totally get it...how long does he have to be your bitch for?” Cathy said suddenly elated to be in on the joke and not just an innocent bystander to a very weird encounter.

“Oh it's a pretty big bet, so at least until tomorrow, mom says they can rest tomorrow.”

“Your MOM is in on your bet?” Cathy whispered with a Cheshire cat smile. “This just gets better and better!!”

“Yeah, she sent me here with the credit card to buy this stuff, its that funny to you?” Jamie said, unsure why this is so hilarious.

“Can I borrow him for a few hours? We just got a bunch of inventory to put away, it's a Saturday and so the boss is out.. I could definitely enjoy taking a break, while he stocks the shelves.”

“Well, my brother is a bit of a dumbass, you have to watch him like a hawk. I can't be responsible if he fucks anything up?” Jamie felt a little bad for say ‘fuck things up’, but she had been falling into the habit of talking that way the past few days, because the men so often did just that. They would need her direction to tell them how to arrange the couch, or to finish the laundry. Her mom was using the phrase ‘fuck things up’ and she was picking up on the figure of speech.

“okay, cool, what do you want in exchange?”

“Want?”

“You don't want anything in exchange?” Cathy asked inquisitively as if she had assumed there must be a quid pro quo involved.

“Hit me with employee discount?” Jamie countered quickly.

“Can I paint his nails, and put lip stick on him, while he does the inventory?” Cathy asked as if she had wanted to do this all along.

“Aren't you twisted, Cathy? I have a new found respect for you, I would never have thought of that. I suppose so...”

The two girls had a deal and Cathy got a free day at work to listen to her iPod, while Jamie got a little free time to finish shopping at the mall after Chris loaded the trunk with the stuff they just bought. She would be leaving her older brother, with one of her friends from school, and wouldn’t be embarrassed by being seen with him out in public.

It made her feel a little bad that she had to admit to herself he embarrassed her in public. He would have even before she was put in charge. She decided it was more his fault he was the way he is, than hers for not wanting to be associated with him.

It was nice to go to the mall without him tagging along. It didn’t feel burdensome. She put him completely out of her mind as she chatted with friends, buzzed around some stores and did whatever teenage girls generally do when they go shopping.

The Family Feud

Chapter Seven

When Jamie walked in her doorway, she was not prepared for what she was about to see. That is saying a lot considering how upside down things he had become in the last few days with her father and brother being taunted and teased and made to do housework, you'd think this wouldn't surprise her, but it did.

The sight of her naked father, over her mom's knee as she sat in the living raising a pink hair brush over his already rosy-red ass cheeks.

Wendy stopped spanking her husband as if in shock. Her arm cocked over her head, frozen in place.

Rather than explain herself, she simply ignored her husband Bill's writhing on her knee and asked “I didn't expect you home so soon, Where is your brother, dear?”

“I think the bigger question is, should I go and leave you to your um...”

“The cat is out of the bag, you know what I am doing, unlike your bumbling father, you've got a head on our shoulders and can see what is happening. I am spanking him, because he is an unruly, selfish brat, who never had to do for himself or take responsibility for himself. Do you know that he actually said that if we didn't have such high standards, he would not have had a problem meeting them?”

Bill started to clarify that is not what he said, but Wendy without even looking stuffed a dish wrag into his mouth and said “Silence Bill, you'll speak when spoken too, that is your exact words...now don't call me a liar in front of your daughter, the WOMEN are talking and you'll be silent and learn your place”

Despite her harsh tone, Wendy winked at Jamie to let her know she was just having a little fun and to go along with the game.

Jamie walked gingerly into the front room, with a curious look on her face, as if to say “Okay..what weird thing have we gotten into now?”

“I'll explain what I've been doing since you were out in a moment, I want to know, have you forgotten your brother some place, dear? Did he disappoint you that much?” she asked half joking to sound flippant and cruel.

“No no...its' the funniest thing, we were in baby's R Us and ran into Cathy Griffin.”

“Who? The comedienne?” Wendy asked.

“Hah, no she gets that all the time, Dad you remember Cathy Griffin, she is a cheerleader, I think you know her about as intimately as I am starting to know you, don't you?”

Her dad let out a muffled sound, that the two woman assumed was agreement and perhaps an offer of explanation. They ignored him and continued to go over what had happened earlier, which seemed to amuse Wendy.

“Weren't you worried at all about leaving your brother there?”

“At first yes, but Cathy seemed so creative about it, she seemed to sort of get into it, as if she had just been dying for the opportunity, so I figured she would come up with way more creative things than I would...it's kind of payback anyway, since he got to see her naked because of DAD, that she get him to do her work for her.”

“Well you know, the other unexpected blessing is no one would generally hire your brother, I mean look at him, he's irresponsible, not the brightest knife in the drawer and just plain goofy...but work for free, and not officially? That is his first taste of an actual job, so I think you made a wise choice..we may have to talk to this Cathy friend of yours, let your father apologize to her as well.”

“About Dad?”

“Oh yes...well” Wendy remembered it was her turn to catch her daughter up on what they had been doing all morning. She explained how she read up on sadism and the use of positive reinforcement such as setting goals and rewards, and how sometimes a subject just will be content with what they have, and desire to try for the extra. “That is Bill's life story in a nutshell”

“Another tool in our arsenal, besides offering them some reward, is pain, like so.” She gave Bill a solid swat with the hair brush. “Would you like to try?” Wendy offered the brush to Jamie.

“Oh no, that is cool...he seems to be ...uh..excited about it.” Jamie gave a wintry smile and looked down as if to draw her moms attention below her knee.

“Oh no you aren't? Flip over, mister man...we talked about this, only naughty boys like being beaten with a hairbrush, let's get rid of this right now” When Bill murmured and it was clear he didn't want to flip over on his back, Wendy reached down and gave her husbands swollen cock a hard squeeze. Around the balls digging her nails in to the tender flesh.

“Oh mom!!” Jamie said shocked.

“What? See her turned over on his back like a good boy, you are going to find that most men are led around by their wieners, it's what motivates them. You think they build skyscrapers in the shape of erect cocks because those make the most structural sense? Super tall straight buildings? And then the CEO of another company wants to build one right next to it, only bigger? That is male ego and pride, and their motivation is to see who is the biggest alpha male, it's just on a subconscious level”

Wendy explained as she looked at her husbands erect 5 inch cock and added “Tsk tsk....alpha male, this one isn't....bad boy, getting aroused in front of your daughter....” and she began to spank his erect cock on the tip of the head.

Jamie winced for him. That really looked painful. She could see tears well up in her father's eyes, but surprisingly he didn't use his hands defensively to stop the blows.

Noticing her daughter's surprise “Oh, I had to handcuff him...Chris still has a lot of toys in his room, these are dollar store handcuffs, it's all I had...” revealing her father's hands behind his back are securely locked together. “You can't leave them in these, they are trick locks, so that any 3rd grader can get free...although it would be interesting to see if these two Mensa members could figure it out” she said sarcastically as she leveled blow after blow on the dick sending it from fully aroused, to semi-flaccid in less than a minute.

“This is getting a little weird, mom.” Jamie pointed out.

Her mom was shocked. She sent Bill to the corner, and took her daughter out of the room to quickly chat with her. “Look, I thought we agreed to be sisters in solidarity in this...if Bill thinks you aren't in 100% agreement, he may rebel.”

“So what if he does..aren't we going to let them out of their chores tomorrow anyway?”

“Are you kidding? Their reward is sunbathing in the nude in the backyard tomorrow, meanwhile their chores pile up for Monday. It is all psychology and conditioning, I am going to get them to think that even something that would be embarrassing and painful is a reward, just by comparison to the harder things they have to do.”

“That is kind of brilliant, but just a little bit twisted.” Jamie said with reverence towards her mom. “We have to let them out of this some time?”

“Well there are two ways, I can either do most of the conditioning and training myself. If I do,  it takes longer to bring your dad and brother around to where they start doing things without being told, and being responsible. The other way is if you help me keep them in line, they'll learn faster and I won't have to retrain them every day to be good.”

“ha-ha, I guess when you put it like that, I just don't want to touch there..you know what is”

“Oh my gosh, Jamie..you are 16 years old, have you never touched a penis?” Wendy didn’t want to say ‘cock’ or ‘dick’, so she really wasn’t all that more progressive than her daughter was about the subject. It still seemed silly to Wendy her daughter couldn’t even say ‘penis’, even though she had seen them flopping around the house every day for the last few days.

“Mom!”

“What? You just saw me grab one and squish it, and now you can't say the word? Isn't penis talked about on Tyra or Oprah or the movie Superbad or Hangover or whatever you teenagers watch all the time?”

“Well yeah” Jamie smiled that her mom was only about three years behind the times with what kids her age were watching. “Okay, yes, I've fooled around, not gone all the way or anything...but you know at parties, sure....with CUTE guys, not my dad and brother.”

“And that is fine, Jamie....I TRUST you to make the right decisions for you, with your own body. You aren't in any hurry to get pregnant, you aren't a slut. You are a good girl, and I am so proud of you. Listen, when I was your age, I experimented too with boys. You are at a natural...oh don't make a face like this, we should have had this talk.”

“OMG, THE talk.” Jamie rolled her eyes, and made a ‘duck face’, a habit she picked up from her friends when they want to act silly. Puffing our her lips as if kissing to the side, in an expression that implied ‘You can’t really be serious?’.

“Yes THE talk, and I should have had it, even if you think it's corny or lame, but this is not about birth control and waiting til marriage. This talk is about control.” Wendy was trying to sound open minded and liberated, although the topic made her feel uncomfortable as well.

“You know by now, with one of those” pointing to Jamie's lap “You can get any one of those?, as many as you want.” she pointed to Bill’s crotch. “If you get tired of putting up with men, there is always plastic.”

“Come on, really? This is how we spend our Saturdays? Talking about plastic?” Jamie was clearly made uncomfortable by the thought of whatever plastic dildo her mom had hidden around the house somewhere she was probably referring too. “I want to help, I just don't think I want to touch their balls.”

“I understand, but men think with their little heads. So if you are grabbing it just to control them, and let them know who is boss...what is the problem?” Wendy wasn’t sure if she should be this forward with Jamie about the topic, but she had already told herself that it was okay since she had been doing it. Not just to Bill, but Chris and it was important to her that Jamie agree. It would help validate to Wendy she wasn’t being a bad person.

“Seriously, what is the problem with me grabbing their dicks?” Jamie asked the question out loud, so that her mom could hear how silly it sounded.

“Okay...okay, touche'...maybe this is all happening so fast, so soon, and there is a certain amount of sexual frustration I was probably taking out on your father. I think that controlling them with what rules their head makes sense, but I see your point.”

Jamie wanted to be a good daughter and help her mother through whatever this new arrangement with her dad was. She just felt that maybe there were some things her mom needed to do alone. The two of them despite being so similar had spent more time talking the last few days than they had ever before and it was strange to learn so much about the woman she had lived with for so many years that she never knew before.

“I never really got to date a lot when I was younger; we married so early and started a family and a life together. I've never felt the need to be unfaithful, but the more I read online about this whole other lifestyle people lead, I realized there are a lot of things I denied myself.” Wendy admitted honestly.

“Okay, and that is you. I am cool you have got all this self-discovery to do, but I don't want to touch their little willies, it's just gross” Jamie clarified.

“You know, I think I got a good compromise. I won’t bring it up again, you don’t have to touch them any place you don’t want. I apologize for even mentioning it. It is just too bad your brother isn't here to unload the car...there is something I told you to buy that I think will solve the problem and give us even more leverage.”

                                                             

The Family Feud

                                                                Chapter Eight

There he stood, in the living room, his hands cuffed behind his back with what elementary school students use to play cops and robbers. He lacked the strength to even tear the chain links from the toy handcuffs or the ability to break himself out of them.

His legs were shoulder with apart; he stood at sort of a military parade rest. A position that his wife called “Attention” even though it was not technically the military form of attention and he really wanted to tell her.

He could not of course, because he had part of his own underwear in his mouth as a gag, with duct tape over that so he couldn't spit it out. So at best, he could murmur.

Bill Taylor, who had only recently been the man of the house, was now the naked slave of the house. He was humiliated and he wanted to insist that enough was enough. Rahjid’s motel had been a roach infested dump, and if he had the money, he’d go right back there. He didn’t have the money, not even for gas in his pickup truck. His wife checked his mileage carefully. if she let him drive any place at all.

While he stood there completely naked in every other way, the piece d resistance which was eliciting giggles from mother and daughter alike was the slender leather corded leash attached around the base of his cock. Its long end was dangling down around his knees, with a since around the balls so that it could be tightened.

“It's for parents who hate to hold their own child’s hand, so they feel the need to put this sort of leash on them in malls and public places...how do you think Chris will like it, Bill when he gets home?”

Bill couldn't answer and wasn't sure how to pantomime a response. “Oh obviously, your opinion doesn't matter if you could speak anyway...you'll have the leashes on until we tell you not to have the leashes on....this way your darling daughter doesn't have touch your tiny dick, and she can still lead you around the house easily...now for the final test....”

“Test?” asked Jamie

“Lead your father over to the computer...” Wendy guided Jamie to pick up the leash.

“Oh it won't pop off, trust me...you can give him a nice solid jerk on the leash, to let him know to move faster...don't be afraid, I've made sure we can keep this on him and it won't cut off blood flow, but it also is okay to be a little rough with the leash” and she demonstrated as she jerked the leash while bending over to turn on the computer.

Bill watched his wife's delicious ripe butt as she bent over. Religiously going to aerboics class for years, why he had not noticed just how rack hard firm her ass was until now? I mean wow, if he could fuck her in that, what would that be like? Oh shit, she was talking. What was she showing him? He had been fantasizing again.

“Bill? Earth to Bill? What an attention span” Wendy said sarcastically. “Here are the photos of those teenagers, let's start with your favorite Veronica....now you'll notice that men unlike women, need rapid fire pornography and mental images. Little short vignettes really....no set up, no explanation, just two people having sex. So I am paging through these pictures kind of quick, I know Bill's already seen them many, many, many times but he must have liked them, because men also even though they save their porn, tend not to look at it more than once or twice.”

Wendy was about to explain that she thinks the female brain is wired so much differently. That erotica stories that are less than a certain size she didn't even bother with “Oh it needs at least eight chapters before it even starts to get good...before I start to even care about the characters or be able to remember which one was which. I don't think that is an opinion shared by most males, but in my research, which I hope Bill appreciates, I am finding that the dirty stories I like best are the ones that make me care about what is happening and seem to have a few unexpected twists. Not just an inventory of this happened, or that happened, like a list of random events but what was going on behind the scenes.”

“Mom, what does this have to do with anything?” Jamie interrupted as her mom rambled while showing Bill the naked images of her friends on the computer.

“Oh nothing really...just that while I am sitting here patiently paging through this porn for your father, which is something he SHOULD appreciate” she gave a jerk on his leash to let him know to act thankful. He murmured something excited through his gag. “That his test all along has been if his little cock gets hard...you see its not?”

“Uh, I hadn't been looking.” Jamie rolled her eyes.

“Okay miss prude, Come on, your father is 220lbs of mostly fat, covered in milk white skin and body hair...we keep him naked to make him aware of how powerless he is, and disarm him, to motivate him to want to have a little modesty and privacy...you have to see the elephant in the room, it's that little dingus I've got tightly wrapped up in a leash, and it's what has probably caused him to make so many bad decisions....looking at porn when he should be getting a job and being a good husband and father..”

“Okay, fine” Jamie agreed to her mom’s point reluctantly. It made Wendy smile.

“Well,  while we've been talking, what would ordinarily make your father rock hard, hasn't. That is because his balls are wrapped tight...he can't get the blood flow that pumps his cock to what passes as fully hard when talking about his tiny dick...”

Jamie smirked, her mom was really getting into this, “I wonder what would happen if you and Cathy did get together?” she wondered about the high school friend who also been excited at the prospect of leading her brother around.

DING DONG!

The sudden sound of the doorbell brought the families dogs to barking. “Oh shush, Rosco....I'd almost forgotten about you, haha...I'll have to have your daddy feed you...yes I will...and walk you....” she said lavishing her dog with baby talk as she told Jamie to get the door while she hid Bill.

It was Cathy and Chris at the door. “Hey all done for the day! I thought I'd bring him back, safe and mostly sound.” Cathy grinned.

Chris's face was covered in makeup like a girl, he was wearing a diaper under his green short-shorts (which is funny because Jamie brought the ones she purchased home, so that means Cathy must have opened a new package at the store).

“Your brother was a good sport, what do you say for Mrs Cathy bringing you home? Chrissy Pissy?” Cathy said snarkily to her afternoon slave.

“Moooooooo” Chris bleated obediently.

The girls both laughed, Cathy pointed out that she found Chris's voice annoying so she had him make piggy noises, cow moos and dog barks until she could settle on a few less irritable noises she would tolerate.

“Cathy, there is a whole twisted side of you I had no idea about....listen I'd like you to meet my mom, we actually have something we should probably talk to you about, because you seem to have enjoyed yourself WAY more than I thought you might...”

Cathy’s pretty face had a perpetually impish smile, that only deepened when Jamie told her that. “Hey, I had three older brothers growing up, and it was usually me who lost bets like this, and so I was just glad to finally return the favor, all I really did was think up a few things they made me do...If you've got a spare bra, we can use...we can freeze it and put it on those big old manboobs of his...”

“Oh wow, a frozen bra? That IS hilarious...okay look come on in the living room, my mom is with my dad, I'll go see if she wants to talk right now.”

Jamie was about to get her mom, seems they found an ally, one with a real creative fun streak, when Cathy stopped her. “What is this?”

“ What is what?” Jamie asked innocently.

“You know what.”

“No, what the fuck are you talking about?” Jamie asked again, once again using the word ‘fuck’ and feeling a little ashamed. It had just slipped out this time.

“On the computer?” Cathy reminded her, while Chris stood dumbfounded behind them.

Jamie looked and it seems as fate would have it, her Mom had stopped on a picture of Cathy bent over, spreading her ass and pussy, over a pool table, to make it look like someone could shoot the 8-ball in.

“Is this the joke? Sort of like Carrie, where you lure me over here, get me to like you, and pay attention to your doofy brother, and then show me pornography like blackmail?”

“No, not that at all, if you'll just wait...” Jamie wanted to get her mom, who was no doubt hiding with Bill. She didn't know Cathy yet, and wasn't sure if she could trust her.

“Okay, so what do you want?”  When Cathy asked, Jamie immediately remembered how terrible Cathy had been at negotiations at the Baby's R Us. Jamie hadn't wanted anything, she was happy to give her brother to Cathy forever if possible, but Cathy had obligingly offered a discount even though Jamie never asked for anything.

“No wonder you lost to your brothers dare games, you think I want something....” Jamie was about to explain it was all a misunderstanding, an unintentional accident that the screen just happened to show the porn, that her and her mom didn't approve of their dad taking it, but she was cut off mid-sentence.

“What do you know about the dare games? Are they in on this? Oh shit...you were about to come walking back with them instead of your mom weren't you? Your mom wouldn't be involved in this...it's my brothers payback from hell, oh shit, I knew those pictures were a bad idea.....look I am about to piss myself....I'll face the music, I'll face the music, let me just use your bathroom, okay? Please?”

Jamie didn't even give her permission before Cathy had raced into the bathroom. “Wait her Chris” Jamie went to go get her mom, she'd sort this all out, and hopefully Cathy would discover it was all just a simple misunderstanding.  A freaky, weird, perverted misunderstanding.

Wendy was reluctant once she heard what happened to go back in there. “I really don't know if we can trust her yet, it’s a variable to the plan we don't really benefit from. I don't want to involve another high schooler”. Her concerns didn’t matter when they got back to the living room, Cathy was already gone.

“Chris, where did she go?”

“Mooooo”

“Talk English, you Dummy.” Jamie demanded

“She left, Ma'am”

“Where did she go?”

“Don't know, Ma'am”

“Of course you don't...why are you wearing clothes in the house?” Jamie said out of frustration.

“Don't know, Ma'am”

“But weren't you told to undress as soon as you got home?”

“I wasn't sure, Ma'am...”

“We've got something to try out.” Wendy let her son off the hook about not undressing. “ I can see in your shorts you are already hard, so let's see how you do with the leash.”

The girls had 'tests' to run tonight.

The Family Feud

Chapter Nine

“I'm Easy....Easy like Sunday Morning.....”

The old Lionel Richie song was playing on his alarm clock, as she walked in. He was of course lost in a deep sleep.

“CH-RISSSSS!! WAKE UP BOY!!”   his sister emptied an entire bucket of cold water on him directly in his bed....”Wakey Wakey, it's time to Bakey Bakey”

Chris was shocked awake, it seems no matter how many times she's done that the last few days, he hasn't gotten used to it.

“Good thing mom made you take your mattress out of here, it'd get mildewed if we have to keep doing this...” Jamie smiled like an innocent angel, despite her dumping water on her brother. Helping her mom with the ‘tests’ last night, and Cathy Griffin’s acceptance of this strange arrangement had made her decide to loosen up a little and have some fun with her brother’s predicament. She still felt a little hesitant to boss her dad around, but her brother was a pushover.

“The tile is cold” Chris whined.

“Yes, Chris...Tile is supposed to be cold....and it's wet, so this is where you are supposed to get up. You and Dad have a big day off scheduled. It is nice and sunny out there in the backyard, don't worry the women of the house are going to make their own food today, and we’ve got it all planned out for you.”

Chris smirked “Jamie, you really are enjoy this?” as he groggily sat up.

Jamie responded without hesitation “What? getting your fat ass up in the morning? No, I could be doing my own thing.”

“No not that, being Mom's Pet”

“Pet? You are the one that is the pet...speaking of which, where is your leash? Put it on yourself nice and snug.”

Chris was begrudgingly getting to his feet and reaching for his leash. His makeup from last night smudged, the mascara running down his face and the lipstick made him look a little bit like a clown. He had slept naked, and without a pillow on the tile floor in his bedroom.

“No not like that, I mean I know me and Dad are on the bottom. I just mean like a Teacher's Pet, the good girl, who does everything right, the brown noser.” he said as he cinched his leash around his balls. He handed it to her absent mindedly as if they'd be doing this for years.

“You know Chris, you probably should watch your mouth to the girl who is holding your leash, it's not nice to call me a brown noser” Urfff, he moaned as she jerked the leash hard “Especially, when if I wanted I could probably make you a literal brown noser!”. She wasn't sure how she'd make him a literal brown noser exactly, but given the situation, she just figured she'd let his imagination run with that one as she led  him downstairs by his leash while he walked behind her like a good, submissive older brother.

“Good Morning Jamie” her Mom greeted her, without a word to her son. “I see you brought Tweedle Dum, I've got Tweedle Dee here”. Bill was struggling through naked sit ups in the living room.

“Check it out, Bill's got a webcam...I discovered it last night, wonder what the guys on his message board would think if they saw IceMAN was really IceBoy and our bitch?” she laughed, imagining her posting some humiliating pictures of the two of them.

Bill didn’t even want to think about his online reputation. He was cramping from the sit ups, and the thought of the online laughter from the people he traded internet arguments with, only made it worse.

“Lawl” Jamie spoke phonetically the text-speak for “Laugh out loud”.

“Let's tie their leashes together....they can do some jumping jacks, while we make our own breakfast this morning.See that guys? We aren't all bad, you don't have to cook. I love you boys, but your cooking sucks. I'd like one slightly less burnt omelet this morning.If you are really good, you can have what is left over, and your regular portion of scrambled eggs. How is that?”

Chris answered “Thank you, Ma'am”  but Bill only murmured. He had a fresh gag in, duct taped over his mouth.

“Oh Jamie, I thought I mentioned to have Chris bring his sock down here, I want to gag him like his father.”

Wendy told her son to get the sock, when he asked which one she pointed out “You know the one...” he did indeed, he did indeed.

When he came back, he was carrying a very stiff, long tube sock. “Is that what I think it is?” Jamie winced.

“Come in the center of the living room, and tell your sister and me, and your worthless father, what that is, Chris.”

“It is my sock, ma'am”

“A special sock?” Wendy asked.

“Yes Ma'am.”

“Is it your girlfriend?” Wendy teased.

“No Ma'am, I don't have a girlfriend.”

“I know Chris, tell me what you do with that sock?” Wendy sounded slightly annoyed.

“I jack off into it, Ma'am”

“Even though you were told not too as part of you and your father's conditioning?”

“I guess I forgot ma'am”. Chris said. He seemed to rely on the fact people thought he was stupid, to get away with flagrantly violating the rules or maybe he really was that stupid.

“You know...that is one of the missing ingredients here, I was reading in one of Oprah's books...which as you both know Oprah is superior to all men, right boys?” they both nodded. Wendy knew they both hated her show and had mocked her weight and advice in the past. She liked to see if they would flip-flop their opinion and they had.

“She said if you want something, you have to wish for it. You have to affirm it. You have to say it out loud. You have to start to think it. So we are going to have a little question and answer session, and you are going to be as gracious and thankful of us for this, as you know how Chris.”

Wendy was adding to the affirmations she had begun a few days earlier. “Anytime you say you don't know why something is, and it is clear you just didn't bother to think, I am going to give you a spanking. Now, put the sock up to your nose and let's begin, then it will be your father's turn, we can ungag him then”

Wendy proceeded to ask introspective questions to Chris that really made him think about why they had been doing this the past few days and what they were learning about personal responsibility. Each time Chris answered with a “I dunno” or just repeated back the question in different words,  his mom gave him a blistering swat on the ass with her hair brush which she now carried with her like a gun slinger holsters a six shooter.

The phone rang, it was Gerald one of his friends calling. Jamie answered and said “It’s one of Chris’s friends calling to see if they can have a play date”. Gerald hadn’t said ‘play date’ but it sounded more humiliating.

“Just tell him Chris is grounded.” Wendy wanted to proceed.

“No, I don’t think so” Jamie said with just a hint of cruelty. “Chris hop on over here, and tell him you are grounded and can’t play today.”

Chris started to walk over and she stopped him, holding her hand over the phone. “That isn’t hopping. Hop like a bunny, c’mon”

It was hilarious watching Chris’s belly, moobs, and other flubber bounce, along with the leash hanging from around his flaccid cock as he tried to hop over to the phone. He looked so defeated.

“Hello Gerald? I am grounded.”

There was a pause while his friend asked him something on the other end of the line.

“No, they have me hopping around here today, doing a bunch of stuff.”

Wendy and Jamie almost couldn’t contain their laughter at how casually Chris had said that.

“Yeah man, It may be a while before we can hang. Stay cool.” He hung up the phone and was directed to hop back to where he was before the interruption.

Wendy kept questioning him using her affirmations about his attitude, his weight and his choices. Eventually he stopped relying on his crutch, and it became obvious if pushed Chris could answer a question with an intelligent response.

“Why are you and your father, not the men of the house?”

“Because we are out of shape wimps, who weren't doing what needed to be done, so you two stepped up and me and Dad are grateful for showing us the error of our ways, Ma'am”

“Do you mind being naked in front of me and your sister?”

“Yes ma'am, it is embarrassing, because you both laugh, but at least I know my pecker is a little bigger than dads.”

WHAM – A corrective swat “Care to rephrase that? I wasn't asking you to compare pecker sizes, you both have such modest little dicks, that the difference is barely noticeable.”

“Oh um...No Ma'am, I am glad you keep me and my father naked, it's fun”

WHAM – A corrective swat “Care to rephrase THAT answer? This isn't supposed to be fun to you, this is supposed to teach you something, what is it?”

“Oh yes...teach us, to control our urges, to appreciate the privileges we have, like wearing what we want, when we want, if I get clothes again, I will make sure not to wear the same dirty ones over and over. I'll fold them up and keep them neat, like I do my school clothes, Ma'am”.

“And why do you fold up and put away your school clothes, when for your entire life, you acted like you couldn't remember? Was it just that you could always remember, but didn't want too?”

“Yes Ma'am...” and on and on and on it went,, where Chris was affirming his place in the pecking order of the house beneath his mom, beneath his sister, next to his father as a lazy, lump who half-assed everything and how good it was that despite the cruel mocking, and discipline, he was really understanding it was tough love to improve him.

When it was his father's turn, Chris had to hold open his mouth, and stuff the sweaty sock that he had been cumming into for months into his mouth. It had a stiffness to it, which almost gagged him, before his sister sealed his mouth with duct tape.

It was now Bill's turn to talk. Wendy ripped his duct tape off and he spit out some old scrap of dirty underwear he had thrown on the floor before this all began, that she had padded his mouth with earlier.

“Pick that up bill, hold it directly under your nose”

“But it has got spit on it”

“Say But again to me, and that is where it's going next.” Wendy warned with a sincerity that made Bill assume she meant up his butt. He held it under his nose without further question.

When she began the affirmation with Bill, his arms behind his back, standing in an “Attention” position, chest out, butt cheeks clenched, and leash dangling, he still had a sort of limpness to him. Like he was not quite giving it his all or was fully invested.

As she asked him more questions similar to the ones, she asked his Son, she noticed that subconsciously he seemed to be straightening his back, no longer pivoting on one foot to rest his weight. The questions were making him think.

Unlike his son, whose crutch was just to play dumb. A myth Chris had just dispelled that when threatened with the back of the hairbrush on his most tender parts, he was inclined to think about why he was doing things and be able to answer.

Bill's problem was not accepting responsibility for his shortcomings. “Well that is just how I am” or “This is just how I raised” or “Well, I don't know what you want?”

To which Wendy would answer (After the requisite attention getting swat to the front or back)  “You don't have to know what I want. You just have to be a responsible man who does what he has to do...that is what YOU should want...you wouldn't be in this predicament if you didn't slack through life.”

“I didn't make these rules, you did...”

WHAM – A corrective swat “That is true, but that is because your own actions warranted them. This is like the criminal blaming the jailer. You did the crime, you are doing the time”

“Yes Mistress”

WHAM – A corrective swat “Mistress? I am a Mistress now?”

“I mean Ma'am...Ma'am”

WHAM – A corrective swat “Did you ever cheat on me? Have a mistress”

“No Ma'am...Mistress is just what you call a female Domme..”

WHAM – A corrective swat “Did I tell you to call me a female Domme?”

“No Ma'am, I just thought...”

WHAM – A corrective swat “You barely have a thought for years, and this is what you think about? Names to call me?”

“I didn't mean anything by it Ma'am, it was an accident”

WHAM – A corrective swat “Was it an accident, you hired Jamie's friends to take dirty pictures, across what appears to multiple sessions and different disgusting looking locations?”

“Yes Ma'am, it was”

WHAM – A corrective swat “No, an accident is something you can't control, that was just bad judgment. You CHOSE to do that.”

“Yes Ma'am, you are right”

WHAM – A corrective swat “Damn straight I am, now did you have sex with any of those girls?”

“No Ma'am, never. They were under 18”

WHAM – A corrective swat “Oh so you would if they were over 18?”

“No Ma'am, that is not what I meant....

WHAM – A corrective swat “So why did you think it was okay to take naked pictures of your daughter's friends?”

“Um...they OFFERED for the...”

WHAM – A corrective swat “You control your camera, you control your wallet, you control your libido, it doesn't matter what a teenager offers you, they aren't supposed to have the judgment to make decisions like that...Jamie of course excluded from that, do you know why Jamie is your superior?”

“Yes ma'am, because you said she is?”

WHAM – A corrective swat “You aren't getting it. This is all about the girls who offered themselves to poor old innocent Bill, and meanie Wendy for putting you in this situation. I am running out of places on you to swat! I am going to have to move up to your tummy and your back.” She said doing just that with her brush.

“It is taking a while to drill into your head, that the only person to place blame for what Bill does, is on Bill. The only place to place blame for what happens to Bill because of what Bill does, is on Bill...”

She made Bill repeat that several times, She ended his affirmations with him thanking Wendy and Jamie for keeping him on the straight and narrow and not putting up with any of his bullshit.

Then Wendy tied her husband son's leashes together about a foot apart and had them do jumping jacks to 80s music on the radio while her and her daughter ate and paid little attention. At first Bill and Chris had a tough time getting in synch but they soon discovered that they needed to keep the same pace or they would fall over.

The Cardio was really already having some good effect on them. They were not panting and heaving so much at the end anymore!

After they got washed up and their morning gag removed they were fed (even a few bite of Wendy’s perfect omelet with their regular bland breakfast). It was now time for Wendy to tell them how the day off was going to go.

“Life is about choices, boys...so you have to make one, together...You are going to tan outside, it's a nice hot day...you'll be out there for a least four hours, so I'd suggest sunscreen but you boys haven't proven you have as good  a judgment as the women of the house. You will need to decide.”

“You can either apply the sunscreen to yourself, we'll stand right here and make sure you lotion yourself up completely, and don't spend too much time on your little cocks. Then you will go outside in the lawn chairs in the backyard naked. Just as you are leashed to one another....tiny cock to tiny cock....it's fenced in, so there is only a slight chance someone may be mowing their lawn and look over and see you...” they groaned.

“Or you can apply it to one another, you've got to take your time and make sure you get every little nook and cranny, but I am sure considering I now know who was taking my bath lotion and what you were doing with it, you both are no strangers to lubing errr lotioning up....” Wendy let the barb sink in. She had speculated that they must have been doing that for years, but never really thought about it until she got this power over them.  “If you apply it to each other though, you'll get to wear bathing suits and don't have to have your peckers leashed....it just won't work with the bathing suits.”

They did not hesitate, the option to wear bathing suits sounded fine. However, neither father nor son had really come into contact with each other physically other than a brushing of some arm fat accidentally while exercising. Having their cocks leashed together with a yard distance, gave them enough personal space that they really had never experienced how creepy lotioning up would be.

Wendy sent them to get towels, and untied their leashes. They started with the suntan lotion in the front room. Naturally on their backs, it was fairly boring, Wendy sighed as if this was not entertaining “Don't stick to the backs all day boys, you are going to have to get it all over your butts....let's go their next” she said in a bored tone.

Then she walked over to the radio switched it to the R&B Channel “Let Me in... and Let's Begin.... With Love” the deep somber sexy voice of Barry White came over the airwaves. Jamie giggled “Cree-eepy” but it definitely added to how difficult it was for the two men to put aside their homophobia and touch each other.

Interestingly, to the girls the song actually didn't seem to humiliate them. They could not keep straight faces any more. It stopped seeming so serious, and they had stupid grins on their face. Wendy could tell they weren't being sexy or seductive, more mechanical in how they applied the lotion to each other, but it would do for now, she thought.

“Are you not forgetting some part?” Wendy smiled looking at their dicks, neither had chosen to lube it.

“Won't the bathing suits cover it?” ...”Ma'am?” Bill asked.

“Oh yes...but let's be sure you got every part...go ahead and finish, I'll go go get them.”

Bill was surprised she had not sent them to fetch it, she had for everything else. Until he looked up.

Wendy had the digital camera/webcam from his computer, and Bill had his son's flaccid cock in his hand.

“A little insurance, Bill...you know....I am starting to like how these USB drives work...” she put one into the computer to fetch the files.

“You aren't going to let us have bathing suits?...Ma'am” Chris and Bill both asked.

It was interesting, Wendy thought to herself. How the evolution of power exchange was working. A few weeks ago it would have been no they wouldn't even go outside and get a tan. Now they are wondering if they will be permitted to wear something. It's not even a question, that they are going to follow the orders for them, of course they know they are going outside. They accept that. Wendy was processing in her mind, that it seemed they had turned a corner in corrective “husbandry” which was her new term for keeping her man in line.

“Oh are you trying to say I'd go back on my word? That sounds more like something you would do right?”

“Yes ma'am, you are right...we aren't trustworthy...” they admitted with heads held down in shame.

“Don't imply I wasn't going to keep my word, or there really won't be any bathing suits, but since you've been such good boys...Jamie, if you'd bring them, please?”

It was two extra small thong bottoms and bikini tops. “Guess what we found in the garage? Some of your father's props from his photo-shoot crated up in a box, almost like your father would not want anyone finding his dirty laundry...and these are dirty. Still smell like sweaty cheerleader pussy, and no Chris, don't sniff; take my word for it.”

That day was fairly amusing to the ladies. They ended up taking several pictures of the Taylor boys, and there were a few times the men begged to get back inside. They begged at the glass door that it looked like rain, although the Taylor girls thought they were more worried someone may turn on their sprinklers and see them.

The privacy fence was tall enough that unless someone purposely looked in through one of the knots in the wood, or was on their roof, they probably wouldn’t be seen. The girls had a clear conscience about the guys spending the day outside in bikinis in the backyard with only Rosco to keep them company.

When they finally did get let inside, the ladies decided they liked them so much in those old clothes, they'd have them dress and pose in other lingerie and ladies panties. After all, they didn't deserve men's clothes.

                                                 

The Family Feud

                                                           Chapter Ten


After that weekend, things started to get into a routine for the next week. Chris was permitted to wear some things picked out by Jamie to school. He had to carry her books and report to her there as well. She checked to make sure he was doing his assignments, and eating only the lunch he was packed, which was reduced calorie. She didn’t really like being seen with him, but she arranged for them to meet almost as if it was a favor she was doing him.

She even enrolled him in some after school club, so he could come home with her when their mom picked them up.

At home, the Taylor men were docile. They seemed to be gritting their teeth and accepting the changes.

During the day when the kids were at school and Wendy was at work, Bill was gagged, handcuffed, and leashed in such a way that Wendy would know if he had untied himself and retied himself. He was told he could look for work for an hour a day on the computer with monitoring. If he finds a job, that is one condition to this being all over.

Wendy insisted they fully shave, legs, armpits, chest, ass cheeks etc because she said it just looked “Pathetic” when she dressed them up like girls.

They did not have very effeminate faces, so no amount of make-up could change that fact. Still they learned to paint their nails, straighten their hair and apply make-up “So you'll know what girls go through to get ready, and make themselves presentable...when you used to complain we were taking too long.”

There were dares, and bets, and games, and the Taylor men did not seem to resent any of this until about Wednesday of that week.

They seemed to get surly, aggressive, and difficult to manage. Wendy did a little research online and discovered, that they hadn't been allowed to cum while they've been watched so carefully. The promise of positive and negative reinforcement did not seem to change things.

So that afternoon when Jamie wasn't home, she brought the two Taylor men into the living room to stand at attention gagged. She handed them each a mason jar, and said “I want you to both masturbate into this. You’ve been good, so you deserve release...”

If Chris hadn't been gagged, he would have said it, but instead his eyes seemed to say “I'd really like to get my rocks off, but do you have to watch, mom?”

However, Wendy's stare in response seem to answer “Yes, and hurry up and get it over with.”

She untied their leash from around their cocks, and without making eye contact with her or each other, they both immediately began to pump their cocks, stroking in a way that only the owner of the cock knows how.

They were taking too long though, it had been three minutes and it felt like much longer. Wendy hadn't remembered it taking this long with Bill on top.

“Fine, porn” she said, turning the computer monitor to them, and started flipping through images of young girls in various poses and situations. “Whatever it takes.” she joked to herself.

They popped their load, and immediately became tired. They needed to catch their breath, taking their hands off their sore little cocks freshly milked of semen.

“Wow...you guys seem tired. Okay, I'll let you get you take a breather. Here is the deal, be good boys and every other day or so, I'll let you have this little party time to release. You shake up a 7-up can long enough, it needs to explode. I get that. We will keep this just between us three.”

Wendy put her finger in their face to make a point. “BUT, if you are bad little boys, I'll still let you release, except you'll be drinking the contents of these mason jars.” she smiled as she left the room, and her very satisfied son and husband, who felt a tremendous relief wash over them, expelling all the dirty perverted thoughts they'd had over the last few days.

The Family Feud

Chapter Eleven

“It's Friday, Friday...Gotta Get Down on Friday....Weekend, Weekend”

Jamie was driving her mom's car, top down listening to one of the most shallow pop songs ever recorded coming out of the CD player. Her and her friends were singing along ironically, half making fun of the song, half enjoying its upbeat melody and completely pointless lyrics.

Absent was Cathy Griffin, who had not surprisingly been ducking her all week at school. She had not even gone to cheerleader practice; it seems maybe she quit the team.

The car was filled with a bunch of other girls that were like her, fit, athletic, tall, long hair, cute face and figure and a bright, positive attitude. It was fun and carefree.

She was driving them to her house, where her Mom had promised that there would be a party. Her dad and brother were going to be there, after all her dad was supplying the alcohol. She was sure her mom had some sort of humiliation for them, although they would definitely have to be dressed.

This was going to be a night of hunky high school football stars, and popular girls. So even the weird twist her life had taken for the past two weeks was not going to get in the way.

She reflected though on how this had all been kind of necessary, and how easy it was to think of her dad and brother as totally powerless, and to mock them and make them clean up after her, without a second thought.

She was thinking how it was good for them, to be focused, to have strong powerful females in their lives. How it was her and her mom's duty to help them, if they really loved them, tough love. She was thinking how yes, its awkward, but at least she hadn't had to handle their cocks, even though she had to see them. She was pretty sure what they were doing qualified as some sort of incest on some level, but she had desexualized the entire affair in her mind as much as possible, when oh shit, what was that, what the fuck...kachung?

It seems that while Jamie was having one of those introspective moments, that airheads like her brother and dad have way too often, hers was behind the wheel of an automobile. Not unsurprising for a teenager, really “Is anyone hurt?” she asked in a panic.

Her friends were already being pulled out of the car, by some good Samaritans who happened to be close by. “No one seems to be hurt this time...wow...you'll probably lose your license,” said one of the men helping her up.

For such a nice guy, that was kind of a creepy thing to say “I guess so, I probably deserve it...I just wasn't thinking. My mom is going to kill me.”

Once they were all safely out of the car, and able to survey the damage, the man pulled her to the side and said “Listen, I can take care of this for you, no charge. I can make it look like your car was stolen, if you get the other girls to agree that this never happened, you came out from wherever you started from to look for your car, hey it’s not there, must be some kids stole it to go joyriding. I do this all the time, insurance will cover it, you won't get in trouble at all.”

Jamie had no idea why a total stranger, would be so willing to go through that much trouble for her, she was skeptical. “I don’t know, I think I'll probably just get caught if I try that. I mean, I had the key, and I am a little scuffed up, besides...the other girls, I can't ask them to lie for me...thanks anyway, I mean that is really quite an offer” she told him quietly.

The man turning to the other cheerleaders gregariously asked “hey girls, this accident never happened right? You came out of the mall or the school or wherever, and car's gone...someone stole it...you have no idea...badda-boom, badda-bing, no problems....insurance pays to replace it, mom and dad aren't mad, everybody is happy, you girls would agree to that, right?”

Jamie's friends all gave an enthusiastic “Yah!!!” which surprised Jamie. Maybe, she was just being a fuddy-duddy, it just sounded a little too good to be true. “You don't think I should stay here and wait and do a police report?” she asked her friends.

Her friends were already saying in what sounds a bit like valley girl accents (except kids today don't know they are valley girl accents) “No, totally! it is cool, maybe this guy can give us a ride, say he was helping us look for the car?” offered up Janet, Captain of cheer squad.

Jamie had to admit, it would be nice to get out of trouble, and they did have a party to get too. “I really don’t' know how to thank you enough, I still don't see why you are willing to do all of this.”  The gentlemen gave a dismissive “no problem” hand gesture and started to work on making it look like the car had been hotwired. “Hey the only witnesses are me, my friends and your friends and I am not going to say anything, or else why would I implicate myself, by making it look like it was stolen? Give me a few minutes and I'll take you wherever you want to go.”

Problem solved. Jamie looked a little banged up, but probably not as bad as Chris and Dad had it, she thought to herself. They pulled into the party a little late, there was already music and drinking. People seemed to be having good natured high school party kind of fun. Popular boys, Popular girls....all in her house.

Then she saw Chris, he stuck out like a sore thumb. He was trying to “Bartend” by handing out beers, but putting way too much foam in the cups. He was dressed in a little pink Rainbow-brite shirt and bright red shorts, but it seemed some of the girls were actually flirting with him. “I bet they think he is just gay, and that makes him seem popular,” said her friend Janet in in a judging sort of tone, usually reserved for Kardashian sisters and rich snobs.

Jamie actually felt sorry for him for the first time in two weeks, she was going to tell him he could stop and go see if she could find where Mom and Dad were hiding out. She was sure they were here some place. They might let her throw a party as a way to reward her for having put up with this whole little experiment, but she was sure mom wouldn't want to be too far from the house.

15 minutes into Jamie's mingling around her party, that is when SHE got the tap on the shoulder. It was Cathy Griffin. “Oh HI Cathy, I did not expect you here, but I am glad you came!!!” Jamie said pleased she got another chance with her friend, after she had ran out of the house a week ago thinking she was being set up.

“Are you sure about that?”

“Of course, why wouldn't I be?”

“I've got some people to introduce you too, they are up in your parent’s  bedroom. Come on, let's get out of here, it's too loud” Cathy said over the music and noise of the party taking place in the living room. Janet just waved “Bye-bye” as they walked upstairs, taking Chris with them much to his relief.

When Jamie walked into her Mom's bedroom, she saw something she did not expect to see.

It was her Mom and her Dad, her dad was fully dressed, they were sitting on the bed, and standing around them were three men, the guys from the car wreck earlier. She wondered if they invited themselves into the party after they dropped her off. They were in their early 20s, so they seemed a little out of place for a high school party.

“I want you to meet my Brothers, that's Jarrod, Nick and Heath, but then you already got a ride from them, didn't you?”

Jamie was totally busted, and she could see in her parents eyes that she was in a lot of trouble. “Mom...you've got to understand, I didn't” she tried to explain but Cathy hushed her.

“Listen, here is what you didn't know.” Cathy decided it was time to fill in some blanks “Last week when I came over here, and saw the pictures on your computer, and you said you were going to get your mom, I had a panic attack. I thought you were going to come back out with my Brothers, and the joke would all be on me. So I bolted.”

“My theory at the time was that my brothers had put you up to some elaborate practical joke, they've been doing these to me since before I had pubes. They have just gotten more and more elaborate now, that they are adults and have the resources. You see Jarrod is a Lawyer, Heath is a Private Investigator, and Nick the guy who “Handled” the car accident you walked away from, is a repo-man among other things”

Jarrod smiled “You'd be surprised how child hood hobbies led to our choice of professions...We throw each business all the time, Heath digs up the dirt, if there is no dirt to dig Nick creates a little and then I go to work and make it all pretty official and legal.”

“What are you talking about?” Jamie was confused.

“Oh right...” Cathy said “Well, thanks to you I went right home and apologized to my brothers for making Chris do my work, thinking that I had fallen into the trap and I had to negotiate my way out of it, it cost me basically an entire week of being their slave, and they aren't as playful as you and your mom were with your Dad and brother.”

Jamie remembered the two times she saw Cathy fail her negotiation by offering something when nothing was even being asked for. She could only imagine how she must have played right into her brother's hands.

“Yes, what you don't know, is the only reason that me and some of the other girls from cheer took those Craigslist “modeling” gigs was that my Brothers had dirt on us all. You were never invited to it because you are a goody-two shoes who was too much trouble to corrupt or blackmail. However, Janet and some of the others, were caught up in the web. There is NO way we'd have CHOSEN to strip and humiliate ourselves for your dad and his buddies for what little they pay? I think he tried to give me 10 dollars and a six pack of Fanta. The only reason I was doing the photo shoots was as part of my brothers little game to make me do photo-shoots,  seeing the pictures, I just assumed they were involved. You can see why that is?”

“Oh yes” Jamie said begging her friend to continue, it was starting to make perfect sense.

“So while I spent a week going to school, keeping a low profile, I had to drop out of cheer, because it meant going to pep rallies with no spanks under my mini-skirt and just kind of grin and bear my brother's gloating that I was once again answering to them. Trying my darndest to not let my parents find out what I was doing at the same time. We are talking long runs through the neighborhood after dark where nothing at all, tearing up my feet with grass itch, running and hiding behind bushes, and that is just to GET to a certain trial they have in mind. Once there, it gets worse...”

“Oh I am so sorry, Cathy, you see I was going to explain that since you were having fun with my...” Jamie tried to explain but was interrupted.

“Yes, yes...I know all about it. You see while I was keeping a low profile at school, I decided to pump your brother for a little information on what was happening at your house. It became clear to me that my brothers had not been the masterminds of my present downfall. That in my haste to beg forgiveness from them, I had somehow managed to get myself sentenced to a week of dirty chores basically as their slave girl.

“But you know we love you” offered her brother Heath in a slightly sarcastic way. They reminded her of grown up version of the “Connect Four” commercial, where the boy says “Pretty sneaky sis!!” the way they seemed to accept the winners and losers in their blackmail games like a friendly rivalry.

Jarrod interrupted his sister, who immediately quieted down “What my lovely sister is trying to say, is she came and told us what you were doing, and we realized you were rank amateurs. I mean, I wasn't sure if the Mother was secretly getting off on this, or what your goals were. You kept telling yourself it was to improve their lives, make them stronger, but you kept knocking them down and getting your jollies out of it....and with what leverage? That you'll kick them out again? Hell. it had to be better to live on the street, then be your puppy, but your Husband went along with it, like a gullible sap. I just couldn't let this stand.”

Nick added “Bossing little sis around is fun, but we've been doing it most every summer and winter break for years, so there is little challenge left to it to us. There isn't a lot we haven't seen her do, that we want to see her do left, but you two, well you two, you are fun.” He was addressing Jamie and Wendy.

Heath continued the story “My brothers and I agreed to do a little digging. Your mom, she was hard. She has a fantastic job, that she earned through years of hard work. Too bad, when the scandal of an underage party that her sex slave husband she made buy booze gets on youtube, it's going to make her unemployable, and then you won't be able to make your house payment and car payments.”

“You wouldn't?” Jamie heard herself say.

The brothers laughed “You've no idea what we would or would not do. That was the tip of the ice berg. I said she was hard to get dirt on, not impossible. People can lose their job, change their name, move to another state, not enough. We found out that your mom didn't just read about BDSM the first day she decided to start this, did you Wendy? Why don't you show her the magazine”

Reluctantly Wendy handed a copy of “Nugget Magazine” she was holding in her hand to her daughter. It was an obscure fetish magazine with some bondage pics of dear old mom in college days “I really DID do it for the money, and I had forgotten about this” Wendy admitted about the magazine spread.

“Oh really?” Jarrod flipped to page 88, snatching the magazine they provided Wendy from Jamie’s hands. “Hands behind back in handcuffs, gagged, and the caption reads “Co-ed at Attention” sound like a familiar position?”

Wendy and Jamie could be heard both swallowing at the same time. This was all hard to take in.

“Still not enough dirt for our tastes, a magazine photo shoot in college? Forgivable. We also managed to take over the mortgage on your house, your car and you made it very easy to hack into the computer and downloaded all this videos. You should see the movie your mom made of her letting her husband and son milk themselves into mason jars.”

Wendy could not even look up, her eyes cast down at the carpet. She was so ashamed that everyone knew she had made them jerk off. It didn’t even register to her how it made Chris and Bill feel to have been videotaped doing it. She was internalizing all of the disgusting feelings.

“And YOU miss goody-two shoes, jeez, we thought we'd never come up with something. You are just too perfect. If you fart it smells like Strawberry, I mean there is just nothing on you. You are one of those impossible ones.” Jamie started to feel relief. This was like a bad dream.

“That is of course, until we arranged for you to accidentally wreck your Mom’s car, did you think you just dun’ goofed? Oh no, that whole thing is my brother's specialties at arranging perfect car accidents. We can make it look like someone else fled the scene and then offer to “track” down this fictional law breaker, or we can soak them for legal fees if they want to prosecute someone we finger in the accident. It's a good living, we sleep well at night” they grinned.

“So naturally, you were riding with our former models, it wasn't too hard to find out where you'd be going and when, and be there right on queue. Of course, they don't want to make us angry, so they'll play along and advise you to agree that you want the strange man to fix everything for you...and I did. I fixed it so that if I want, I can make it look like you stole your own car, and wrecked it for the insurance money.  A very criminal kind of offense, I've got the digital pictures of you leaving the scene of the accident a very happy girl, if you remember.”

“OMG! You went to all this trouble over some pictures, that we didn't even take?”

“No act of kindness goes unpunished” Nick smiled as he quoted an old saying “I am sure it's more than dear old sis, had to pay for blackmail we didn't even do, and once we found out what you were doing to Big man Bill and Chris here, we just had to be good Samaritans and help out a bro.” he laughed.

“So this is what you'll do....you'll immediately stop your rules, Bill and Chris are no longer your personal little amusement weasels.”

“Done!” Wendy and Jamie agreed without hesitation.

“Not so fast, not so fast, take out your house keys, and hand them to Bill and Chris and apologize to them, tell them they are the men of the house now.”

Wendy and Jamie both stood up to do just that. Cathy’s brothers cautioned “Slow your roll, slow your roll, do you think it's fair that you should apologize fully dressed, when you thought it was so important the men do it from a position of being disarmed and humbled?”

Wendy whirled to face Jarrod like a mama grizzly bear protecting her cub, a snarl on her face “Now wait a second! That is my teenage daughter...”

“You had no problem when it was your teenage son?” he cut her off. She had no response to that point. The logic was valid, when it was her teenage son, his nudity had meant nothing at all to her. It was simply a way to motivate him. This seemed different, it seemed naughty, nasty, to violate everything she had been taught.

Wendy had not thought it was bad at all when it was the guys turn, but now that it was the Taylor women’s turn, she didn’t know what to say or do. “Don't like turnabout? It's fair play” Jarrod said flippantly.

Wendy slowly unzipped her skirt in the back and began to step out of it, and Jamie followed suit. They were beaten. Nick started to prod them to hurry up and then came the blouse, the panties, the bra, and both Mother and Daughter were naked, knees on the tile floor, offering their Men, their Castle back. “It's your home, it's your castle” they were prompted to say.

Wendy couldn’t believe they were both naked in front of strangers, much less her son. This was not turning out the way she had planned, not at all.

Bill and Chris couldn’t help but smile. They hadn’t lifted a finger, and for some reason that they presently didn’t understand, this girl and her brothers had come to their rescue.

“Now if memory serves, you have a live party going on down stairs, and no bartenders, we can't let you be poor hostesses, can we?” the Griffin brother’s grinned evilly.

The Family Feud

Chapter Twelve

Wendy and Jamie had been through an emotional roller coaster. The kind of story from Greek tragedies where the author lets them fly as high as the sun, only to watch their wings of wax melt away. The higher the flight, the harder the fall. That is how they liked their stories in Greek times.

The Griffin brothers sent the girls downstairs in white robes, those nice fuzzy Brookstone robes they bought with credit cards at the mall. They also “inferred” that should there be any future issues and they have to come back after tonight, they will make sure that the bank snips those credit lines post haste. This was no empty threat, the brothers had their transaction history in hand.

“Get your Father's bathing suit collection out of the garage. You know those suits you liked to dress them in for their sunbathing in the yard? You'll be wearing those to bartend in, don't bitch, fair is fair, you'd have had Chris in them if you weren't afraid all your guests would leave...well with a hot milf and her daughter, you are going to be the hit of the party...”

Cathy offered “Just some friendly advice, best to take this offer...and grin and bear it...since I was a little girl, whenever I barter with my brothers for something, they'd keep raising the price every time I negotiated, so I found it was best to just go straight away for my lowest possible offer. Otherwise, they'll just enjoy making it harder and harder, well don't stand there, get to the garage quickly! Chop chop!” they laughed sadistically at the girls panicked expressions.

Walking through the party in white robes was not as hard as it seemed, most of the kids seem engrossed in their flirtation and dancing. Jamie noticed some of her friends from cheer squad give her a knowing shrug and a “Sorry” face. Did it help that they had apparently been through something like this before? She wondered to herself.

When they got into the garage, it was finally quiet and dark. They would have to climb up to a high shelf to pull down the box of nasty stuff their father had bought as props for his poorly thought out modeling business. Which now that it occurs to her, made perfect sense that Bill would have been a pawn in his own business plan, just a humiliation stop for girls caught up in a web of blackmail and deceit.

“Mom, what say we get in the car and just go Thelma and Louise out of her, don't look back.” Jamie smiled.

“Oh yes, but you wrecked the car...” Wendy said, not wanting her tone to have sounded harsh. Earlier when they showed the pictures of Jamie walking away from the car before she knew the whole story, she was willing to believe her daughter had joyously and without any reservation walked away from wrecking HER car and violating HER trust.

“Look, what do you want to do? I won't make you go back up to my bedroom and face the music....they got us naked, they caught us in our own game, but hey, they don't own us. We can still say No?”

“Mom, why do you have to say that last part like a question? I was wondering the same thing myself. I mean it does seem kind of fair, that we took it way too far with Chris and Dad.”

“Oh I don't disagree with you, I totally see that now, I was drunk on the power. You know at first I started this with such good intentions.  I just wanted to get Bill and Chris to clean up after themselves, take care of themselves. Then it seems circumstances kept happening to where things just kept escalating and evolving and before you know it, I was leashing their cocks together and giggling with delight at how clever I had been. It just sort of snuck up on me.”

“I know Mom, but didn't you give Dad a spanking and say the only person to place blame for what Bill does, is on Bill. The only place to place blame for what happens to Bill because of what Bill does, is on Bill...” she said the last part in her mom's manner of speaking overly-exaggerated to sound very serious.

The two of them laughed honestly. “You are right, Wendy is responsible for what Wendy did. The blame falls on me. Do you feel the blame should fall on you too? It is your friends out there, and you've seen these bathing suits.” Wendy was offering her daughter a chance to put the blame all on her if she wanted too.

“You know what? Let’s embrace it. I mean we told the guys to suck it up and do it. Let’s do our week, suck it up, and let them have their laugh and move on. We won’t drag it out. Let’s pick one of these suits right now, and go in there and start bartending. The best possible way we can face this, is with a smile on our face, like it is not getting to us, what do you say Mom?” Jamie dropped her robe on the garage floor and started rifling through the bikinis.

“I just wished we had shaved first, I feel like I am going to be hanging out of this thong, camel toe and fur lining with glory trail and all!” Wendy said as she dropped her own robe with a smile like she couldn’t believe she was doing this.

“C'mon, we owe it to them. Let's make it up to Chris and Dad, we put them through hell this past week, the difference for us, is if we are a team, and work together, and support each other, that is something Dad and Chris did not do and it let us get into their heads.” Jamie said as she held up a teensy polka dot one piece before dismissing it.

“Jamie, I love you Jamie and I am so proud of you, no matter what happens this week, they won't break us, let's give them their laugh, but let's make a pact no matter what happens to not let it come between us.”

“Absolutely mom, are you ready to call Chris and Dad, Sir?”

“Oh don't remind me.” she laughed, they were both slipping on skimpy bathing suits in the darkened garage, summoning all their courage.

“It feels kind of like Thelma and Louise to be doing this.” Wendy sighed.

“You mean at the end when they held hands and went over the cliff?” Jamie took her mom’s hand.

Wendy smiled at her daughter nodding. That is exactly what she meant as she turned the door knob leading back into the house.

When the garage door opened, there was immediate laughter and shock from the people partying in the kitchen, as the two stood tall, with teensy thong bikinis on, that barely covered nipple, ass crack and cunt.

No explanation was given, the girls just walked with chin held high into the front room where they began to bartend, handing out drinks, cleaning up spills, and smiling at people who seemed to be oggling them.

After the last drunken high schooler made his way home from the party, they cleaned up without being told, completely naked.

The Griffin brothers patted Chris and Bill on the back and said “We are your personal wizard of Oz, we've given you what you always had Bro, your balls back...” they had spent the night going over a training plan with Chris and Bill to make sure they understood just how to run things.

Now I leave it to you dear reader, this story is told. Just how far did Chris and Bill take things, with their own Man's Bill of Rights? Did they let it go after just a week and a couple days? Was the family ever the same again, and if so, were they closer having gone through this, did they learn anything?

I prefer to think they did. You can bet the story of their humiliation at the Taylor MEN's hands is a story in of itself.

But what of little Cathy Griffin and her brothers?

Epilogue:

Later that night after the Griffin brothers got home, Cathy Griffin smiled at her older brothers. It had been a long night for them, they were all tired. Standing inside their parent's house, the three 20-somethings visiting for the weekend as they do so many weekends, and their teenage sister who still lives at home with her parents.

“You played your parts perfectly, very believable.” Cathy said with a devilish grin.

“Thank you Mistress” said Jarrod, panting like a dog as he stripped for his younger sister.

“Shut up and get out of your clothes, get in line with your brothers....dicks waggling, hands behind back, butts clenched, let's have you start off standing at what Mrs. Taylor calls “Attention”.

The perverse game the Griffins have been playing for years continues.

Family Feud Companion

Updated through Chapter 19, Family Feud Book II

I have started to keep notes of important people, places, things, and Easter eggs in my Family Feud stories. This is helpful to me, so that I do not have to hunt for these things and I may not forget them while I am writing.

I thought it may be fun and appreciated if I shared my notes and insights with you. This could contain spoilers, especially if you have not read the stories yet.

Family Feud to me is a really fun story to write. Stories like this usually have “Bad Guys”, but I tried really hard to give motivations to the characters that not only help the reader see that things aren’t always black and white, good and bad, but that over the course of the story, people will change.

I think for me part of the joy of writing about them is to simply create the characters, create the situation and then play out what happens, without too much of an outline. Things just seem to organically go from there. At times, I’ve had to rewrite when I wasn’t satisfied with where things had gone, but in general this method has served my purposes in writing the characters. They seem to naturally evolve.

I don’t like stories that are over just as soon as I get to know the characters. I enjoy the concept of a serial of stories about these people. I think that helps me connect to them, gives me an emotional response when they face a challenge, overcome an obstacle, get beaten up, beaten down and ultimately triumph (or fail) by what is thrown at them in the course of the story.

SECTIONS:

1. MAIN CHARACTERS
2. MINOR CHARACTERS
3. MISCELLANEOUS
4. EASTER EGGS

MAIN CHARACTERS
Bill the husband a former high school athlete in his early 40s. He hasn’t been employed for a while, let himself go a little, and had a strong porn/internet addiction. He drives a beat up 2003 Black Ford Ranger Pickup.

Author’s Note: I wanted Bill to be the typical “every guy”. A flawed but relatable kind of guy. His glory days behind him, he starts off the story very irresponsible and blaming everything else but himself for his problems. I hope it becomes obvious that he is changing in often subtle but observable ways as the story progresses.

Wendy his wife blossomed after she attended college, built a dynamic career as an executive, has an interest in Pilates and aerobics, chicken soup for the soul books. She considers herself the glue that holds the family together. She drove a sporty convertible Dodge Camry. It is wrecked at the end of FF1.

Author’s Note: I would say of all the characters, I identify with Wendy the most. You will find that even though I narrated the story from a neutral observer’s viewpoint (Except in some rare cases where I intentionally shift to someone else’s view), that I am often really seeing through Wendy’s eyes. If I had it to do over, I might have written the story entirely from her viewpoint, but then I couldn’t have explored the motivations of other people.

Chris the eldest son, is a slacker’s slacker. Lazy, out of shape, geeky, loves to sleep in, and half-asses just about everything he can, shirking responsibility whenever it is offered him. His ‘five year’ plan in high school is to stretch it out to the 6th year.

Chris had a goldfish named “Milton” that he seldom took care of.

Author’s Note: When I created Chris, my inspiration was Chris from the show “Family Guy” and when I hear his dialogue in my head, that is the voice I hear. Chris comes across as sometimes reckless, short-attention span, and not very bright. However, I think everyone knows someone like Chris or IS like Chris themselves in that if he finds something that interests him, he will apply himself to it. He is often the only one laughing at his jokes, but that doesn’t stop him from laughing.

Jamie is more like her mother, a high school honor student, captain on the cheerleading team, strawberry blonde long hair, with a very positive although perhaps naïve outlook on life.

Jamie's High School Schedule:
1st Period: Home Room with Mr. Love
2nd Period Math, female teacher unamed.
-Checkpoint with Chris.
3rd Period English with Mr Young
Lunch
4th Period Health and Social Studies
5th Period Physical Education Studies, Coach Andretti
6th Period Art

Author’s Note: Jamie represents a lot of different things to me, youthful exuberance, positive attitude, someone who is an over-achiever. She is someone who has been brought up to believe in following the rules/doing what is right who is starting to learn more about reality and how some times you have to break a few rules. One of my inspirations for her was Taylor Swift, saddled with a kind of goody-two-shoes persona, she is everything everyone wants her to be.

MINOR CHARACTERS
I would consider a minor character to have at least a speaking part, and can possibly occur in more than one chapter. There are some people so trivial as to be pointless. I will group some as a collection to make the list easier to manage.

Cherry Lawn Cheerleaders: The cheerleaders represent some minor characters that are very tall, attractive girls from the Cherry Lawn high school. Their team is the Trojans and their colors are red and white. The most important character from this group is Cathy Griffin, who is mentioned in the section for her family.

There is also a “Janet” who is a co-captain (with Jamie) of the cheer squad we meet in ch. 6 of FF1

In Chapter 5 of FF1, we learn that Bill apparently really enjoyed photographing “Veronica”, one of Jamie’s bests when he thought she was modeling for him (although it was because she was one of Cathy Griffin’s puppets). We meet her in ch. 1, when she is mocking Chris. She has a car.. She has known Veronica since 3rd grade.

In FF2, we hear of “Latisha” an attractive black girl, who is also the Principal’s daughter, although she is de-enrolled following her father’s sudden resignation from the school. She is only briefly mentioned.

The Rival high school is called the Union County Rams.

Cherry Lawn Football Players: In Ch.14 of FF3 we meet three of the star players of the Trojans; Dave Stravosky, Noah and Thad who take a picture with Jamie in the medieval stocks.

Duncan: A precocious boy who likes to grab tits, or butts when he can get away with it. Acts innocent. He was introduced in FF3 at the Spongeboob event, and then later at the pillory (sticking Ice Cream in Jamie’s face).

Cherry Lawn Teachers:

Coach Andretti is a the male PE teacher in Jamie's Gym class.

Mr Dragovich was the lunch monitor. He caught Jamie red-handed masturbating with a banana in the boy's bathroom putting on a show. The issue was quietly dropped. He is a tall brick of a man, with a stern demeanor.

Mr, Love is Jamie's homeroom teacher. He is a middle aged educator with a beard and glasses.

Mr, Young is a handsome math teacher, who bears a resemblance to Jon Hamm and Mr Schuster from Glee.


Chris's Nerdy Friends: Some like Gerald Jenkins have their own entry with their family. There are others that are notable.

Tsoong: This is one of Chris’s nerdy Asian friends from school, he gets to date Jamie one night as part of the new arrangement she has with her family.

Sheldon Cooper: A friend of Chris introduced in Ch. 16 of FF3, very nerdy.


Griffins: Cathy, Jarrod, Nick and Heath: Cathy Griffin is a cheerleader who could be something of a sadistic mastermind. She could also just be a confused teenager who uses her sexuality like a credit card to get what she wants, and when she can’t charge it to that, she uses manipulation, blackmail and her brothers to help her get her way. Her brothers appear in FF1, and the reader is left with the impression that there is an entire sub-story to the cat-and-mouse game they play with one another for control.

Author’s Note: Intentionally chose the name “Cathy Griffin”, because I like the idea of when someone finds out your name is similar to a famous celebrity they assume you must like that celebrity. “Oh, like Kathy Griffin the comedienne?” and then she can roll her eyes and be “no, not like her at all!”.

I especially thought it would be funny to give her red hair and make her look a little like the comedienne, to further the joke. In the movie Office Space, one character’s name was “Michael Bolton” and even though he was clearly named long before the singer ever performed, people would ask if he liked Michael Bolton’s music. It only served to irritate him, and he had to either politely say he did or give them the truth. It was cute, so that is why I picked that name when creating this character.

Hard Times Cast: Ellen, Savannah, Conner, Lloyd, Aunt Crystal: Ellen is the main character in another story called “Hard Times”. She once lived in the same neighborhood as the Taylors, but has moved a good distance away to the “Buckman” a trailer park in a much more rural area. The closest “Town” to them is the poor side of Town where the Taylor’s live.

Author’s Note: Life is full of silly coincidences. I think it is fun to have characters bump into each other. It is also fun to take a minor character from one story and then write this really epic saga concerning their own life.

Fair Boys: There are a few boy’s at the fair who are mentioned in ch.8-9 of FF3, Clint, Chuck and Millhouse are about Gerald’s age. They are running with Clint’s older brother “Bobby Glenn” who knows Jamie from High School.

Author’s note: I kind of based the boy’s on three characters from the movie “Stand By Me”. Obviously, Millhouse was nicknamed after the cartoon character on the Simpson’s because he is geeky an fragile like his namesake. Bobby Glenn is probably influenced in equal parts by sarcastic jackasses I knew growing up, and the bully “Nelson” also from the Simpsons.

Fair Guy: (Ted) One of the more notable characters who kisses Wendy in ch.8-9 of FF3 is not named. He is very skeptical of what they are doing, and assumes it may be some sort of scam. He also thinks Wendy may be his friend Bill’s wife (and he is right), but he assumes there is absolutely no way his friends wife would be basically naked selling kisses at the county fair, so he buys one of her kisses.

In Ch. 14 of FF3 he runs into them again and spanks the girls hard in the renne faire pillory.

Hector: He also briefly appears in Hard Times, he is a heavy set tattoo artist who works at “Chicos” on the poor side of town.

Jenkins: Brad Sr, Brad Jr, Janet, Gerald, Gloria: This is a family that lives in the same neighborhood as the Taylors. We first meet Gerald in FF2 (he has a small part in FF1, but is never ‘seen’ by the reader). He is a much younger but very bright geeky friend to Chris.

Brad Sr and Janet are typical yuppie suburbanites, upwardly mobile, judgmental, not particularly proud of Gerald, extremely proud of their other two kids.

Brad Jr is based loosely on Paul Rudd, Brad Cooper, John Krasinski and all those young leading men romantic heartthrobs. He attends Dartmouth and seems to have an attraction to Jamie, that he feels bad about, since he believes his brother is apparently dating her. Brad jr doesn’t prefer it, but he is sometimes known as “Bradley” when his father is present.

Gloria is mentioned briefly in FF3, she is apparently a very attractive girl who is NOT on the cheerleading team.

Madam Chang and the Twins, Short Round: The work at “Madam Chang's Discount Novelty Emporium” in the county fair, and are introduced around Chapter 6 of FF3. In the beginning, the twins are known as Yuki and Kiko, but we later learn that is an alias and they are Robert and Neil. The reader never really knows where these people come from, as they seem to speak a smattering of Chinese, but some of the references they make are Korean, Japanese are just completely made up.

Medieval Steve: In Ch. 14 of FF3, he is introduced running a medieval side-show/tomato throwing booth. He is a businessman trying to make a profit, selling over-ripe produce to gullible fair-goers in need of some old fashioned fun. The kind that the puritans and medieval villagers probably took for granted when someone was locked in the stocks for real.

Author’s Note: I’ve actually seen booths like these, and people happily walk up and pay to have their pictures taken inside them. I’ve seen people smush their ice-cream on someone’s nose, or tease each other. The pillory isn’t locked, but sometimes it’s heavy enough that you can’t get out without someone’s help. I’ve also seen ‘escape artist’ shows where the guy escapes from a straight jacket. Medieval Steve is sort of my hybrid of all these showmen. I wanted someone who dressed the part, but by looking at his face, he just didn’t look like he came from that time period.

Mikey: A tattoo artist who works at the county fair, he is introduced early in FF3. He is a funny and affable guy. Quick to laugh, his personal motto is “I’ll do anything but Nazi stuff”.

Pooper Snoopers: There are some kids who come to the fence when the girls sunbathe in FF2, who do not identify themselves. They do not want to climb over the fence, just peep at the girls. The girls have nicknamed them the “Pooper Snoopers”

Principal Banks: We never learn the first Principal of CherryLawn’s name. He retires in FF2, but he is described as a black man with a deep voice in his late fifties immediately reminded Bill of “Phillip Banks” the Dad on Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

Old Man Arcade: Early in FF3, I introduce an elderly veteran who runs an arcade of old games that are relics like he is. He has a novelty electric chair the girls use. He is never named.

Rahjid: He is a motel owner on the bad-side of town. He has a brother-in-law who is far more successful than him, and a wife who has no speaking part in the story. The family owes him a great deal of money to get Bill’s stuff at the motel out of “Hock” when he was locked out for non-payment.

Reggie and Reggie’s Dad: Reggie is a black high school student who lives on the poor side of town and works at a Wendy’s restaurant. We meet him in FF2, and in FF3 we meet him and his Dad who confront the family at a goldfish booth. Reggie’s dad believes he is defending the girls.

Rosco: Poor Rosco, the Taylor family’s lonely dog. He is almost always chained out in the Taylor’s backyard.

Steve (AKA Work Steve): a young executive, who works with Wendy. He was placed in charge of Wendy (by Bill) to supervise her at the office. He has been picking her up and dropping her off at work (since Wendy’s car was wrecked in FF1). He sends regular status reports to Bill, believing Wendy to be a ‘nymphomaniac’ who is learning aversion therapy. He may actually not care why Wendy is willing to let him boss her around, give her his work, use her office and piggyback on her career, since he is regularly fucking her.

Taylor Family (Distant relatives): Early in FF2, the girl’s must make “Affirmation movies” that are going to be used if they don’t follow through on the agreement. They are going to be sent to ‘distant relatives’. This is where we learn that Wendy has family out in Indiana who would probably very much disapprove of how Wendy is living. We learn that Wendy was raised on a farm when she was much younger.

“Bill’s Mom” is mentioned in FF1, leading the reader to conclude his dad probably isn’t in the picture with her any more. She apparently lives close enough that he could go to her house by truck, but further away than his own house from Rahjid’s motel.

Author’s Note: The real scoop is Bill’s mom babied him, her perception is Wendy has ‘taken him away from her’, and that he may have been a star athlete had he not started working early to support raising a family. Bill did work for his dad’s business, but we are never told anything about his father. Could there be some reason Bill feels he has has insecurities about his manhood that are related to him? Probably.

Uncle Creepy: This is one of my favorite characters; he is very endearing to me. Spooky and quiet, he seems to have glommed on to the family like a puppy in FF3. He claims to be a security guard, although if he is, no one could tell. He always seems to be lurking around quietly, and he is so innocuous you often don’t notice he is there (or that he has gone). He has not given his name in the story, so he is only known as “Uncle Creepy”.


Vicky: “Icky with a V”, we have yet to meet Vicky, only hear about her. She is apparently a peer and rival to Wendy at her place of work. She would delight in Wendy’s downfall and destruction.

Author’s Note: I wrote Vicky based on the concept that whenever a woman works in an office, she often finds herself with a bitter rival, who she must work closely with. “Oh she is trying to destroy me!!”. This is often a little dramatic hyperbole.

Waxerman, Victoria: Neighborhood gossip and busybody where the Taylor’s live. She is often seen walking her dog “Mr Snips”. She has disapproved of Wendy for many years, but most likely this is due to a certain amount of jealousy that Wendy seemed to have a great career and an active lifestyle. Victoria was raised in the mountains but speaks like a walking thesaurus.

She thinks the world of Bill Taylor, who she considers to be a simple man trying to do what is right for his family. She thinks Chris is a simpleton, but she seems to like him. She thinks Jamie is salvageable but has fallen under her mother’s “Jezebel” influence.

The family discovered that it was kind of amusing to push her buttons, tell her things to see how she reacts. She generally reacts with disgust, but she continues to stay seated, demanding to hear more, leading one to believe she secretly enjoys hearing all the sordid details. She introduced the family to what has become known as the “patented Waxerman Tabasco Colonic”.

Author’s Note: I based this character in part on a few influences. I describe her as half “Granny” and half “Mrs. Jane” from the Beverly hillbillies. She has equal parts “Mountain justice/old fashioned/fundamentalist” and the snooty intellectualism of Mrs. Jane. I would also say she makes me think about “Tammy Faye Bakker”.

MISCELLANEOUS

This is a section for me to stick some notes about some of the rules and things that I think may be worth noting, that are not people.

The Taylor Women’s Bill of Rights (AKA Declaration of Independence) is introduced in ch. 1 of FF1. It contains nine articles that outline in broad terms the rules of the house. It never specifies anything kinky or sexual in nature. The intention was to use this to illustrate how structured and detailed Wendy could be, how organized in her thinking.

I find that sometimes people really enjoy it when I put specific rules or bullet point things in my stories to make them stand out.

“Bill’s Bill” In ch.9 of FF2, we read about “Bill’s Bill,” it is Bill’s attempt at being organized for his wife’s benefit. He hasn’t had a lot of time when he puts it together to change his nature as more of a ‘play it by ear’ kind of guy. He does a good job of trying to cover all his bases and outline the rules for the girls, but by contrast to the Taylor Women’s Bill of Rights, his work is a sloppy, disorganized mess, with coffee rings and cross-outs on the papers he was working on.
It was my intention that it not be iron-clad and complete. Their journey is about realizing some of the loopholes and open for interpretation clauses. The family has had a discussion about amending the bill, to clarify some things that they needed to do.

The “Red Flag” is a clause where the family has a ‘safety valve’, it works kind of like a ‘safe word’ but is geared more towards discussion and resolving a conflict of rules.

One of the other aspects of Bill’s Bill is the three tiered punishment system.
1. Infraction: There are 10 kinds of infraction punishments that can be administered, they are light punishments intended for day to day corrections. They have almost no oversight, and can be doled out at will. The best analogy I have for these, is they are like the spurs, riding crop and reins on a horse, intended not to be abused, but for use to get things done.

2. Correction: There are cards in a fishbowl that represent much more difficult punishments (although a tiny few are actually treats, so that the girls can hold out hope). The correction is for more serious rule breaking and follows a more formal process. At this point in the story, the girls have been such good girls, they haven’t had many corrections.

3. Judgment: This is the highest level punishment. It is for the biggest issues there can be, sort of Bill’s idea of a “Supreme Court” except only he gets to decide. (Which is interesting, because he told Chris they were equal in all things). So far, this has not come up in the story.

POSITIONS:

There are a few regular positions that come up every now and then.

Attention: This is a type of parade rest that was used in FF1, and is based on something Wendy had posed for in college. It involves standing straight up, eyes straight ahead, legs apart, hands behind you, resting on your ass cheeks.

The rest were introduced in FF2 or later:

Inspection position one/ “First Position”: Stand up with legs shoulders width apart, chest out, head straight. Hands placed on ass cheeks pulling them both apart, and knees slightly bent.

Inspection position two/”second position”: Bent at the waist, knees more bent, and holding ass apart,

Squat: Spread knees apart squatting, cup her tits with her hands, and look straight ahead. Ass should be parallel to the ground.

Curtsy: This is a formal curtsy, involving dropping the head (submissively), bending at the knee, and pulling one’s skirt out (or imaginary skirt if naked).

CATCH PHRASES
Just a few of the more commonly used ‘catch phrases’, that people often find themselves using.

"pulled a Jamie!" – If you really like something, fudge ice cream, then Chris intends to say “Pulled a Jamie”, he is looking forward to running into someone who really likes something so he can use the expression. This a reference to Jamie's uncontrollable mega-orgasm in FF3 due to over-stimulation on many levels. The scene was the equivalent to the diner in when Harry Met Sally, except picture Meg rolling around on the floor mewling and writhing for real for about 10 minutes.

“bros before ho's” The Taylor men like to fist bump and say this. The girls have adopted a cute “ho’s after bro’s” fist bump in ironic solidarity with one another.

“Taylor men come first” intended as a double entendre, for cumming first in sex, this is one of the new household mantras from ff2

“boys rule, girls drool” this is based on a t-shirt that Jamie used to wear (which had the opposite sentiment) as a little girl. Apparently, it bothered Chris enough to remember it, and the guy’s adopted it as their official house motto in FF2.

“You think your shit don't stink” – A common accusation of the girls, so much so it deserves mention. It is speaking to the fact that the girls really aren’t as critical of themselves as they are the men.

“Give it the old college try” – A saying that Bill thinks is intended as an insult towards him, since he did not go to college. In FF3 we learn it’s real meaning has been lost over time, and that Wendy originally told herself that when struggling to get through college, overcome difficult odds and be a good wife. Say something long enough and it’s original context gets forgotten.

EASTER EGGS

Easter eggs are a way of hiding little inside jokes, homages, “thank yous”, and inspirations in a story. They are not supposed to be ‘obvious’, hence the reason you would have to hunt for them. I may have actually buried some other Easter eggs and simply forgot I did that. You will also find quotes (and famous misquotes), jokes and pop culture references throughout the story. I am not sure if those would really qualify as “Easter Eggs”. I did try to cuss in several different languages (German, Chinese). I’ll keep at that.

I have enjoyed slipping in actual information into the story, the history of enemas for instance. Some things.

Here is a list of some of the Easter Eggs that I can remember including by story:

Family Feud One:

The Griffin brothers are named for the brothers in "Big Valley"; Jarrod, Nick and Heath. I am not a fan of the show or anything. It just seemed humorous to me.

Family Feud Two:

In Chico’s tattoo parlor, the kids in the waiting room are from another story I wrote called “Hard Times”.

Family Feud Three:

At Mikey’s tattoo gazebo, the woman who is finishing her tattoo is from another story I wrote called “Hard Times”, she is “Aunt Crystal”. She is also apparently an ex-girlfriend of Mikey.

The Chang Twins, Robert and Neil are a play on words, for “Bob and Kneel”.

Some of the people who talk to (or avoid) the girls when they are dancing in front of Chang’s are based on people who have written to me about the story. At least, their alter-egos are what I think they may be like.

In Ch. 7 of FF3, I refer to something that happened verbatim in Ch. 7 of FF2.

In Ch. 12 I mention a fight breaks out between two girls. I plan to have this to appear in a future story from the perspective of the girls fighting.

In Ch. 14 I quote a lot of Shakespeare in context of the story. The title is actually a famous misquote of Shakespeare. I find that ironic, but considering it is a kind of mini-Renne Faire, and Renne Faire is more about fun than historical accuracy, the misquote is apropos. It also sums up the chapter nicely.

When thinking of a rival high school for Cherry Lawn, I picked the name Union County Rams because;
Union County High is an actual high school where the students tried to film porn between classes. Who knows if their reasons were an aspiring blackmailer like Cathy Griffin, or just young, dumb and full of cum girls were willing to be filmed and people can buy video cameras on the cheap. I named their mascot the “Rams”, since the Cherrylawn Trojans are also a brand of condom.

In both Wendy and Jamie's journals I reference some of the same events from two different perspectives. I also have them express the exact same sentiments about each other helping “Be their rock”. I assume they talked about this at some point, and came away with the shared opinion.

I also have Wendy describe her dream in detail, while I have Jamie talk about having a dream and saying only a truly wicked bitch would write down the sordid details of a dirty dream. It is funny to me, since neither are privy to each other's journals (or know about each other's dreams).