i never imagined i would be in this situation.

i am standing inside room 714 of the pierre hotel on 61st st. and fifth avenue; behind me is a stunning view of central park. i can't see it. at the desk downstairs was a key waiting for a woman i had never met, but whom i felt i knew intimately, and who knew me it seemed better than i knew myself.

ms b--'s instructions had been explicit. when she came in, i was to be blindfolded, ball-gag in my mouth, my wrists handcuffed behind me. i was to stand in the ample sized seating area, legs spread to shoulder width, and wearing only a silk pink thong, one size too small. if a single detail was wrong, she said, she would walk right back out, get back on the plane to DC, and never speak to me again. it is for Her safety - going to meet a submissive for the first time, she didn't want any surprises - and to establish from the very beginning who was in charge. i had hesitated before i snapped the cuffs in place; from that point on, there was no going back. i hesitated for only a split second before locking them. 

i waited. in an iced bucket on the table was a bottle of champagne and a single flute - for Her. i would eat, or drink, or not, depending on her whim, but i was to take care of every one of her needs that weekend. every one.

i was nearly trembling there in my blindfolded darkness, when i heard the door open. a few steps on the carpet, then the door closed again. She didn't speak; i couldn't. i knew She wouldn't have any luggage with Her; that had been one of my tasks, to have everything She would need. i could feel Her gaze apprising me coolly and my heart nearly stopped. i heard her walk over to the table, pour Herself a glass of the Krug, then back to me, closer this time; i caught a faint aroma of her perfume. She walked around me, inspecting me.

She finally spoke. 'well, well, well' She said. 'look at this little cunt boy.' i heard, before i felt, the crack of the leather riding crop on my chest. 'I am disappointed; I had hoped for better.' the crop traced itself down my chest, over my waist, and moved lightly over my cock. She tugged my thong off and it fell to the floor. She sighed. i had heard that sigh before. 'this is pathetic. I thought that perhaps you were exaggerating how embarrassingly small your cock is, but I guess not. you are pretty worthless for Me, boy, fairly worthless. is this your cock hard?' i nodded, flushed and ashamed; i had been hard for at least an hour. i heard Her sigh. 'this is worse than I thought.'

She drained the champagne, placing the flute on the table. i heard Her walk away, then move about; i was sensitive to every sound, but couldn't make anything out.

i felt Her return. 'you know what this means, right?' i nodded. i had known long ago. i was Her slave; Her property; Hers for whatever She wanted, whatever She needed. She unbuckled the ball gag and it fell away. 'right. get on your knees, boy. yes, just like that. put your forehead on the ground. good boy.' standing over me now; i still hadn't seen Her. 'I need to see if you really understand. I need to see if you really are obedient, if you know your place. kiss My toes, boy, to show me you appreciate My willingness to put up with you.'

i had looked forward to this moment for months; embarrassingly, i had masturbated while fantasizing about just this - i could climax just from the thought of debasing myself this way, worshiping this strong, cruel domina. she was wearing open-toed black heels; i kissed each of Her toes in turn; i held them in my mouth; i savored each of them; i was in heaven. She laughed.

'you like that, boy? you like kissing your mistress' toes? you like showing Me what a worthless cunt you are?' i nodded, vigorously, continuing my ministrations.

'don't stop with My toes then, boy. worship my ankles. oooo, that's right. keep going, boy. mmmmm, yes, you like kissing your mistress' legs don't you? go ahead, boy, don't stop. I know where you want to go...' i moved up, in heaven. still blindfolded, i couldn't see Her legs, but i had imagined them a thousand times. i continued.

when i got to her inner thighs, however, i stopped; there was something there; some kind of strap. i was confused. i had thought that She would have removed anything She was wearing so i could pleasure Her. i didn't know what to do. She laughed again.

'oh, keep going, boy, don't stop now.' She grabbed my hair and pulled me farther. 'yes, boy! do you like this?' just then, the rubber dildo slapped me in the face. She was wearing a strapon! we hadn't talked about this! this wasn't part of the plan! we were getting to know each other; She was to inspect me; not this! 'kiss it, boy,' she said meanly, 'put it in your filthy mouth and kiss it.' i hesitated.

Her hand pulled my hair hard; it hurt. 'here's the deal, cunt boy,' She continued in a low voice. 'I'm not here for some bullshit stroke fest. i know you're a worthless piece of meat - and hardly that - and we need to establish a few things straight off. do you get that?' i nodded. 'I knew you would. now put it in your mouth, suck on it, and get it ready. you're going to be My bitch, or I leave right now.' i knew what was coming. oh god no. please no. and yet i couldn't stop. i wanted to. but instead i hesitated for a split second before i plunged the strapon into my mouth, wetting it with my saliva, feeling the hardness that i knew would soon take away whatever was left of my manhood.

'yes, boy, that's right. mmmm... you like that, don't you, you disgusting slut?' i couldn't help myself; i was so humiliated. i could hardly believe what was happening.

She slapped me in the face and the dildo came out of my mouth. 'turn around boy,' she growled. 'I want your chest on the ground, your ass in the air, and your cheeks spread. you're going to be my bitch.' as i did so, tears started to form in my eyes. i hadn't wanted this. this isn't what i had imagined. a little submission would be okay; but this? this is too far. and yet i couldn't stop. i didn't want to stop. i wanted this incredible woman to rape me, to humiliate me, to put me in my place. i wanted to show Her that i was ready to be Her cunt, Her slut, Her anything... i knew my cock was tiny; i didn't have that to offer Her. i wanted to do anything i could; anything. anything. i couldn't be Her man. but i could be Her cuntboy.

my ass was in the air. i felt the tip of the dildo touch it. 'you can leave now, cuntboy,' She whispered, 'if you want. you can stand up, dress, and walk away. you don't have to tell anyone, ever, that you almost allowed yourself to get raped; that you had consented to it; that you wanted it. stand up and walk away, and it will be over.'

i didn't move.

'go on boy,' She taunted me. 'don't you want to pretend to be a man? don't be a little pussy; get up and leave.' She laughed. 'go on, cunt! leave!'

i couldn't. i wanted it. my cock was so hard it was leaking fluid already. i know what i am. i know who i belong to.

i felt Her hands on my hips. 'that's right, boy,' She cooed. 'you know what you are.' Her hips began to move forward.