This how my life was when I was 32 years old. I am now 38 and have a different life, but a lot is still with me, and always will be for life.

When we moved it was a very hot summer here in Phoenix, Arizona. I moved here from a well sheltered life in Ohio. Married when I was only 19, and had only been with one man Mike, my husband who was 24. He was an engineer and very much a cold ass hole, everything was his way or no way, and he was always right. I wonder how our 12 year marriage had lasted!

Sex was the same him on top, and then only about twice per year. I was starting to think that it was me or the way that I looked. I'm 6 foot tall and weigh 120 lbs. and my measurements were 37-22-35 D cup. I have short blond hair that I dyed Brown. Before we moved I was always being told how nice I looked, and given positive comments by friends and jokingly by there husbands also.

During the day when he was at work he would turn up the air conditioning to about 90 and lock it there, For me to sweat like a pig. When he came home he would then turn it down to the low 70`s to be cool. He would not permit me to work nor would he buy me a car to get around in. Money saving bastard!

I found great relief in walking to the malls and the grocery store in the early morning, just to get cool during the day, I would sit at the store and watch people for hours and then see them drive away in there air conditioning cars.

My husband bought a home in a neighborhood because the value was going up.

I was so fed up with everything none of our neighbors would talk to me, I was much younger then they were. they were all retired and stuck up doing nothing but playing golf.

One day I had a horrible pain in my back I couldn't walk or even hardly move the pain was real bad. After about a half a day of this pain I called an Ambulance. In the emergency room I found out I had a large kidney stone. My husband was pissed even though we had insurance it still cost $25.00. I was given some pain relievers, a screen to pee through, and told to go home drink a lot of water, and wait for it to pass.

Mike tool me home and left me in the hot house, he went back to work. I kept taking the pain pills every two hours when I should have had them every eight.

They were soon gone. My old girl friend back home was married to a Pharmacist, so one day at her husbands place of work she ripped off a bottle of 1,000 Percodan for me. These worked great I spent the next month pain-free.

* * * Part Two: The Meeting

Sometimes whole sitting in the store or mall I would see other men and wonder if they treated there wives this way. I was told by many, that I was treated not as good as I should have been. I felt some what responsible for my treatment as punishment for having thoughts about being with other men in bed, and on a few occasions I even thought about women.

One day while sitting at a small deli counter having an iced tea, I was going through withdraw of the pain meds that I had taken for the last month and a half.

I knew what was happening but would do anything to stop the shakes.

Just then a young man in his upper twenties sat down next to me, he looked at me and said Hi, but I tried to ignore him.

The man was a biker, he had tattoos all over his arms! I had never seen anything like this before. When I looked up at him he had pierced ears and a small ring in his nose.

He was a big man of I would say around 300 lbs. and much taller than my own 6 foot height. I got up to leave the area and fell back into the seat. He placed his hand on my arm and asked if I was all right. All I could do was to look at him, I didn't know what to say. He then leaned closer to me and said "how long you been hooked lady?" I said how what? and he then said "How long have you been hooked on downers, you know pain meds?" I looked at him and said you can tell? he said yea I know what I`m looking at! I then proceeded to tell him my story, and about the pain meds I had received from my friend, I told this stranger everything even about my husband.

He then asked if he could help. I looked at him and said "What?" He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a small bottle and placed a drop of it into my tea and said this will help. It did. After a while the shakes stopped and I got up and walked home, I slept till the next day and didn't even here my husband come home that night. When I awoke he was gone and the shakes started again. So I Walked up to the store thinking of how I was going to kick this habit without my straight laced husband knowing.

When I got to the store I walked in and there was the biker sitting there, in the same seat, so I sat down next to him and ordered an ice tea. I looked at him and asked thanks for the whatever it helped with the shakes, He then opened up the bottle once more, placed a drop in my glass. After a while the shakes stopped, and I don't remember much else that day, except We sat and talked almost all day.

This little secret meeting happened every day for about three weeks. My husband came home one night and said that the temperature had dropped below 100 degrees and he turned the circuit beaker off for the air conditioning. "It was still in the high 90s"

A week later I had pain in my back and another kidney stone to pass. Back on pain meds and I was mad. The Doctor even said to my husband that his actions were wrong.

My husband was right though, he told the Doctor that he should stay with medicine and not our lives. My husband stormed out of the office got into his car and drove away leaving me behind. After the Doctors office I was walking 7 miles home when the Sectary of the Doctor stopped to give me a ride home. On the way I decided to stop at my husbands work and tell him off, when we pulled into the parking lot he was getting out of his car with a blond lady, They walked three to four steps and then my husband kissed her and put his hand on her breasts. He looked up and saw us.

We drove home. I was up set and the Doctors Sectary said that this had happened to her once. She went out and got a boyfriend that lasted 6 years, and made her husband suffer through it.

That night Mike didn't come home, I was glad. In fact he didn't come home for about a week, and when he did I had someone there!

Paul my friend from the store who had helped me out with my pain meds problem, I asked him if he could stay for a few days just to get back at Mike.

* * * Part Three: The Blur

When Mike came home and saw Paul, Mike hit the roof. He was yelling how could I do that to him! I said, "If you can have an affair so can I." Mike grabbed his clothes and stormed out of the house.

I was up set and Paul asked if I wanted to go for a ride on his bike. Of course but I've never been on a motorcycle before. He fired up the bike it was loud a pan head Harley, it shook with power, I got on. Several of the old neighbors lights came on when he started it up but what the hell.

We rode for several hours. The vibration of the bike made my pelvis numb, and my clit was hyper feeling. When we stopped at his bar, it had lots of Harley in the front of the place it was loud and people were screaming and yelling. This was great, it's been so long scene I have gotten out.

We went in side and he gave me a beer and placed several drops of the liquid from the small bottle, he said it would make it better. The next thing I knew I woke up in the morning, in bed, naked, with Paul. He was naked and had his arms wrapped around me.

I was shocked he was tattooed everywhere even his penis, which had several rings and a small chain hanging from it. I was looking at it, when I noticed he was looking at me in the eyes. He then proceeded to kiss me on the lips and neck. Not long he had his head between my legs giving me my first oral sex. I must of came six or seven times in a couple of hours. Then he mounted me and made love to me several times I liked playing with his nipple rings. I had never had anything like them before.

In the afternoon Paul went to his bike which was in the garage. he then brought in some pot and a bong I tried it and liked it. My shakes were not as bad as they were before, but Paul gave me a beer with the drops in it. Paul was smoking something else also, it sort of stunk, I tried it, and it was great.

I woke up the next day with him and we made love for hours, drank, Smoked, I tried Coke for the first time. It burned, and made my nose run.

Paul and I lived like this for about a month or so, I don't remember how long I was high all the time. My husband went to the bank to close the savings account, but I had taken it all but $100.00 several days before. Paul had no idea I had about $300,000 and I never told him.

One day Paul said he had to go away I was shocked, then he said I could go to. and I said yes in a heartbeat. I grabbed several handfuls of clothes to take, but he told me to take just several items. So I grabbed several sexy things, no bra which I haven't worn with Paul at all. Off we went I had no idea where we were going but it was fun. After sitting for hours on the bike I actually had several orgasms per day while riding. We were both high and I enjoyed it all the time, Paul, Sex, drugs.

We stopped riding one night at a small farm in Northern Ca. Their were other bikes in the front, and loud music from inside the house. The house was run down. Paul introduced me as his lady to all the women and guys there. Once inside we smoked crack, did some of the drops "acid" from the bottle. the night was a blur.

When I woke up I had three guys laying on me, and one was still riding me hard. I wasn't going to complain I had three or four orgasms.

All the guys had lots of tattoos. It was a little later that several other girls came out who were sleeping in the bed room. They had tattoos also, lots of them. when they undressed they had eight or ten tattoos and lots of piercing.

Right away the drinking started and off went the day in a blur. After several days I noticed that the guys would play with the other women more than me. Paul would even make love to them in front of me, but I was so high and usually already had six to seven orgasms from Paul and the other guys, I was having a great time.

One day I was laying around the TV was on and everyone high, One of the other girls laid on top of me. We played, kissed, felt each other. Sue was her name, and she was calling me "little miss clean". I asked why? She said I was to pure and my skin was to white. Well this made me a little mad. I knew she meant I had no tattoos. So I asked her where she got hers and she said here and there, mostly from other bikers that were good at it. I played with her pierced nipples until she had an orgasm. Wow I thought they must be sensitive.

Later that day I asked Sue about them, and Sue told me that all of her piercing brought her much pleasure.

I asked if they were one reason the guys payed her and the other women more attention than me, sue said yes. I was fun at first, but the guys will drift away from me as the "new girl" wears off. I was a little up set thinking Paul might drift away from me.

* * * Part Four: My First Tattoos

Over a little time, I kept hearing about how some of the guys needed to go out and score for the event. Not wanting to look stupid I kept my mouth shut. Hell after all I was 32 years old and all the other women were between 22 and 28. Being the oldest and the newest I had things to learn. I kept having as much sex as I could women included. I felt slightly different from the other women and I wanted to change it.

One day about 20 new bikers showed up at the farm. They brought lots of drugs, women, and wild times. over the next several days our home grew to about 70 people.

This event was the once a year rally at this location. Parked in the yard was a van with several tables and equipment all laid out. I had no idea that it was until that night. High on drugs that I could not live without, liking beer, and sex with as many people as I could, but still I wanted to please Paul. Paul told me it turns him on to see me relax and become one of the gang. I had to fit in to the group.

That night several other biker gangs came in to the farm to party. About half way through the night, I was so stoned I couldn't stand hardly. I went outside and heard a buzzing sound. I realized that four guys were tattooing. two of the tattoo artists were tattooing one girl in two different locations on her. The guys were going wild and several of them were masturbating while watching. Paul was one of them.

I was going to be the big turn on, I was living a bullshit life and now was my turn to be the big hit. Two of the tattooers were done and standing there, so I climb up on the table tool off my top and let my nice size D tits hang out. One of the guys yelled little miss pure ain't going to get anything so get her down. At that I took off my shorts and sat down on the table before I fell off. Give me some ink I yelled. the older tattooist said what do you want? and where? I was so worked up I said give me anything you want, the cheers from the crowd starting yelling places to tattoo.

I laid there face up. One of the guys was giving me some coke in my nose through a straw. and I kept taking hits off a joint, and had done some acid about one-half an hour ago. Someone started sucking on my pussy, and I felt my left breast with something cold on it. After several minutes, "ouch" something was hurting a little on my left tit. someone said take a hit of this, so I laid there smoked a joint, or a sherm, while having my pussy eaten, and getting a tattoo. I remember yelling out why the hell is only one person working on me? I thought I plan on being the queen to night, with everyone giving me the attention. So yelling out I said I want everyone who can tattoo to work on me! good thing that only the four tattooist would work on me.

As the night went on, I was So goddamn high I, I wanted work done on my legs, chest, tits, around my pussy, and I was still yelling for more. A few times I started yelling for more not realizing that a few of the guys needed to take a break!

After a while, hell if I know how long, I was picked up and placed on my belly. I then felt hands on my hips while a prick entering me from behind, it hurt because I was not wet but someone spit on my pussy, then started up once more. I yelled one more to tattoo the shit out of me. Not long I felt work on my shoulder. I must of came time and time again. several guys recommended that I get some piercing done also. I would agree to anything at this time. I remember telling them to tattoo me a lot, and to pierce me a lot, but when your high on drugs that amount didn't register.

I woke up that morning still laying on the floor of the house with everyone else around and on the porch of the house. I remember having a killer headache from the hard liquor and drugs. My body hurt and I had paper stuck to me.

By midday there was so much noise I could not sleep. I was laying there with my eyes closed and tying to cope with pain and the headache. After some time of not moving I felt a hand on my head, it was soft and felt good as it ran through my scalp. The hand soon turned wet, and I was receiving heaven, it was cool and felt good.

I opened my eyes and it was Sue wiping me down with a wash cloth and being very gentle. I asked for a drink and choked down some warm beer. My head was pounding.

Sue told me she would help me to a room where I could lay in peace. In standing I hurt. God I still feel it today six years later. I laid there until I was able to open my eyes. I looked down and said "fucking A" out loud. Remembering last night I sat up and looked at my now heavy modified body.

On my tits and saw that my nipples were double pierced, and I had vines tattooed with little flowers and leaves all over my right breast. On my left breast I had some large flowers outlined with leaves colored in.

On both ring fingers In place of my rings, I had a tattoo rings,. Little flowers on the left finger, and a black chain design was on my right ring finger. Around my right wrist was a little vine.

My ankles and right calf had a bunch of vines, flowers, flowers ran up my calf to almost the knee. I also had a flower and Harley wings where my pubic hair was, and writing property of "spank" was next to it. "Spank" was Paul nick name. On my right hip was some black lines that was an un-finished tattoo as were some lines on my right shoulder over the top to the biceps.

I had some stuff on my back and when I bent my head to look I got dizzy and wanted to vomit. I had a clit ring running vertically through my clit along with nine more piercing around my pussy. My belly had three rings in it along with a small tattoo, a blue star about three inches around.

I was wearing my wedding band on my right ring finger before last night, but it was gone. I guess I liked that ring. My wedding ring was a 12 mm wide band with a one carat diamond mounted in the middle of it . It was the only thing that my husband bought that wasn't cheep. Fuck it I said I went to bed, Sue licked me and held me for most of the day. That night the rally still went on.

* * * Part Five: The Second Time Around

From what I was told, "and I do still have a little memory of what happened," I got what I had asked for. Someone at the rally video taped me for several minutes, and I don`t remember a thing that was video taped. Sue had told me that I had mainlined coke several times, and I remember doing several hits of heroin. I was told that I did three hits in nine hours! "Lucky to be breathing". The rally went on and I got more ink. I remember some of it. I mostly remember being horny as hell and wanting to fuck everyone in sight.

My god day three, or four, It was like when you come out of surgery, and your confused for several days. About half the people had left, other gangs were gone, and I was laying in some guys arms. I had been there a while, Plastic wrap was dried to my new tattoos and I had peed all over my self and stunk. I did manage to walk into a bedroom and lay down for a while. When I awoke I felt better and went into the bathroom there was no mirror in the room it had been broken out. I avoided

looking at my self at all cost. My pussy was killing me, and so was my ass and tits. I took a warm wash cloth with some soap, sat down on the toilet, and started to clean my self up. The back of my neck hurt and had been shaven about four inches up the back of my head, I could not see it , it was a black Skull tattooed there. My left ear had a very small rose tattooed in it, and my left shoulder was bruised from more tattooing. As I said before my tits were tattooed all over and each nipple was now double pierced with silver CBRs. All my tattoos were crusty and hard, and hurt like hell from drying out. My belly was pierced with three rings, the top and both sides. my right hip I could tell was a tribal design and on the left hip I had a bird standing in water. I could not see my back but knew something was there, it was a large bird from my right shoulder wrapping down

around my right side and ending with flowers near my pussy. Across my lower back in big bold black letters was F.T.W. Now I also had a large amount of flowers on my butt, with a lot of black out lining.

I went to clean the dried cum off of my pussy and ass hole, I had a clit ring vertically through the clit and nine other piercing on the major and minor labia, all were CBRs. Some places I had to scrub like my lower leg it had grass and other shit stuck in it. It hurt.

Later, I did go and stand in front of a mirror when no one was around. I said out loud "fucking A" as I looked at what I had done to my self. Just four days ago I didn't have one tattoo and now I have over fifty. NO BULLSHIT! some very large, some started out small, and then were connected to other tattoos. I looked at them and thought its to late to turn back now. Debbie, the youngest of the women, heard me and came in. She said "you wanted it, and you liked it while you were getting it!

You had every guy beating his meat, or wanting to fucking you while you were being tattooed. She was young and a little pissed at me. Last time she was the "big hit" at the party, this time I was.

We spent the next several weeks laying around screwing our brains out. I was now the big turn on.Always being played with and being played with by anyone who wanted to. I tried to heal and as the days passed I became less sore. I had a slight infection in one of the tattoos and two of the piercing but they healed.

A little more ink to finish up, what was started, A few more piercing mostly in my ears. Time went pretty fast for me, it had been about eight months sense I had left home. Paul and I would go shopping once in a while but we did more drugs then we ate. My weight had dropped from 125lbs.down to the low 90s.

* * * Part Six: Jail

Paul and I were going to a Biker rally in Oregon when we got pulled over by the police. Paul had several pieces of crack, joints, and the little bottle of acid I so loved. We were arrested for possession of a dangerous drug.

During the booking a female guard had to do a physical search of me. when I was naked she looked at me with no reaction. I said what do ya think? She just did her search and asked a few questions. Then she told me to take off all my jewelry. I then stated that I have never had my jewelry off! The lady cop told me no one goes into the cell with personal belongings. She then tried to spread the 8 and 10 gauge CBR rings in my nipples. she could not do it! So she later came back with another female guard and with some pliers. They took all my piercing out, and placed them into a plastic bag which was sealed shut.

In jail for a few days the public defender made me a deal that if I pleaded guilty I would only get seven and one-half years probation, or sit with Paul and maybe get 32 years. I was allowed to talk to Paul once on the phone. He told me to take the plea bargain deal, he had two prior drug possession record. Before I could get out of jail I had to post a $25,000 bail. I was lucky I still had the $300,000 from the saving account hat my husband called his. After a few phone calls I reached Mike and told him where the money was. I also told him that the person I was with got busted. He sent the money, plus one dollar. He told me to that's all I get of "his" money.

While waiting for a little while in California for permission to leave state. Sue and I hooked up in a small apartment for a while, doing what ever for money. Mostly low cost dancing.

I still had my bag of my CBR rings and got together some money to have them placed bach in. The piercing guy had to re pierce several of the inner labia. The cost was due mostly from when they were removed. They had some scratches and gouges from the pliers the women guards used on them. They had to be replaced. With all my piercing I had 12 in my left ear. The small rose tattoo in my left ear didn't look right so I had a Diamond stub placed where the flower was. My right ear had 14 rings. Both breasts were still double pierced with 8 gauge CBRs. The belly had its three in a 10 gauge CBR. With Sue she enjoyed my 10 pussy piercing so much that we stretched four of the holes to take 2 gauge CBRs.

By the time my parole was reduced to probation, the courts allowed me to move back to Phoenix Az... Sue had left with an abusive gut that I wanted no part of.

* * * Part Seven: Back Home

Upon returning to phoenix my husband had a permanent live in. She had three kids and was a dull spoon just like he was. Real flat personality.

I took up a job in telemarketing. Mike my soon to be ex, had filed for divorce. He fought in court saying that all the money, house, and possessions were his, not mine. lucky the judge only wanted to hear that the marriage was broken and could not be fixed. He got the house and I got two thirds of the saving and investments. Still felling shaky most of the time I took some of the money and checked into a rehab place called the Meadows, In Wickenberg, Arizona. While there I would see people of very rich and famous in the same rehab program as me. Drugs and sexual addition. It gave me strength.

After five months feeling better about myself and back working I went to see a Doctor about my tattoos thinking about having them removed. The cost would be enormous and would never be completely gone. In fact he said some would look worse! I did have him remove the vines on my wrist. This way when dressed for work, You didn't see much the left wing of the bird on my back, that went to the base of my neck on the right side could be seen though.

One day while a very good looking man named Ed was talking to me during lunch, he asked me out. We dated for several weeks and I was scared that Ed would get turned off to me over my piercing and tattoos.

I went to a piercing shop here in town named, HTC. The lady at the front desk was really nice. I had most of the rings removed, and had barbells put in place.

I still had two set of rings in my nipples, but I decided to take out the back 8 gauge rings. Now I have only one set of ten gauge barbells in my nipples. One 10 gauge belly button ring. My clit ring was a small gold ring that I had silver soldered in place while in Calif. I will not remove it!

I had the pussy lips redone with barbells This is about the most down sizing I could Handle. To make this horrible long story short I am now 39 years old, clean and drug free for five years, married one year to Ed. Who is very good to me. Ed is a lover of corsets. he ordered three of them for me and asked if I would wear them, what I didn't know is that he wanted me to wear them all the time. I now have a waist that is down to about 19 to 191/2 inches depending on the corset. He holds me very tightly in his arms every night, all night long.

He never questioned why I have my body mods or what happened in the past. He will let me tell the story of what happened, when I am ready to tell it. Body mods still turn me on, and I get horny every time I get more or my waist goes down an inch!