1A Bed of my Own Making

Part 1: The warm-up

I finished applying the foundation and closely looked to see that all the telltale signs were hidden.  I was satisfied and began to apply eye makeup.  It was a little heavy but it did create an effect I wanted for tonight. The lipstick was very red and bright as well as very glossy and like the eyes was heavy.  It would need to be as heavy at least, perhaps more heavy. The red mane fell down to my waist ans I did it up in a braid that minimized its area and kept it manageable

Now it was time for the real transformation.  Oh yes you see I am a man, bisexual and into cross-dressing, humiliation and torture (my own.)  Unlike most transvestites, my hair is my own, as well as my hormone enhanced breasts.  What sets me apart is my own little creation a gaffe that really was a vagina, at least it wasn’t one of those rip-offs that tied in place and you needed to never let anyone touch you there or they know instantly.

It took me several years to perfect. First, finding material that would feel like skin was a very hard chore.  If it was not too heavy, then the texture felt wrong, then if the texture was skinlike it didn’t transfer heat well enough to get to skin temperature quick enough.  When I did locate and purchased enough to experiment and work with then it was a matter of creating a sheath that allowed any penetration to stimulate the head or glanis enough to take me to orgasm but not too soon.  After all a woman takes more to get off. Next I needed the interior of the sheath to surround the penis and embrace it in a way that felt like he was in a woman.  Then a lube and a well hidden mechanism to keep the “vaginal canal” moist or even wet.  Finally I needed a way to attach it to me so as to not have easily discovered seams and have it stay there through rigorous contact.  As I said it took several years of experimentation.  The only real disadvantage is that I needed to have the gaffe on for seventy two hours before going out so the adhesive I found could dry and hold.  More often as not when I was going out looking for trouble I just kept it on for weeks on end.

I checked it and it was bound solid to the skin.  The roughest biker would have trouble dislodging it.  Now satisfied of not being discovered as to my true gender I slipped on a high-cut pair of white panties and black pantyhose   Then I slid into a silk blouse that went over the white lacy bra a thirty four A.  Hey, it was hard enough to get them that big and I wasn’t that large anyway.  They were tits and they were real nipples, real areola, real fatty tissue and most importantly, real nerve endings. 

I am able to pass myself of reasonably well as a woman including the “touch test” Anything prolonged is trickier, but most guys just want to get off and on their way.  Anyway, I am not to fussy as to the gender I am screwing around with.  I can plant a dick in a girl if I am out of the gaffe or I can take a guy in my mouth, ass or cunt. However, what really sets off the adrenaline is to be humiliated and tortured as a woman.

That is my goal tonight, the hell of it is I need the adrenaline rush, but I hate the pain and humiliation which just heightens the rush.  While I am in the midst of the ordeal I really am trying to avoid the consequences and I work to get free.  That in turn just makes some of the guys that much happier.  I am in heaven after the fact, but I am in hell while it is being done.  I don’t claim that it is going to make sense and maybe the female hormones I take has something to do with it.  What ever the reason, I need the abuse right now and I am determined to be in the middle of a  real hardcore session of abuse tonight .

Let me tell you about the Paho Club.  It is famous as a place for a woman not to go voluntarily.  The barmaids are abused routinely.  Their asses are slapped, their nipples pulled and they are subjected to near rape nightly, but the tips are phenomenal, so many stick it out for a few months. Female customers that walk in are going to regret it as they are manhandled from the moment they are seen.  However, the worst is reserved to the women that are sent or brought to the bar and they are going to be special entertainment.  That cost six hundred dollars for an hour. Not from the patrons, but from the woman or someone paying to have the woman done  The most they would allow is a six hour session.  The first two hours was “public service.”  The last four hours was “private service.”  I had no idea what will happen other than I knew that I wasn’t going to be happy in the first two hours, but I wasn’t going to be stripped or screwed. However, in the last four well the only thing about which I am sure is that I will be alive at the end but not necessarily in good condition.

I was getting ready for the Paho Club.  I slipped on a somewhat modest skirt and my 4" heels, the silk blouse. I had a lacy bra and black silk panties underneath The panties were underneath black pantyhose.  I checked the envelope with the instructions and the three thousand six hundred dollars.  The instructions were handwritten by a man who not only demanded two hundred dollars to write it, but a blow job as well. I was shivering, I had no idea what was in store tonight other than it was not going to pleasant and would certainly going be highly demeaning and very painful.  I made arrangements for a taxi to pick me up and deliver me to The Club at eight pm promptly and paid for a return trip at two thirty am.  I was reluctant but my addiction to adrenaline drove me to walk to the bouncer at the door who looked at me and asked, “What’s up bitch?”

I looked at him coughed a little.  He started to get annoyed, “Listen girly, speak up or hit the road!”

I gathered my courage and said, “Damn it I am here to pay up.”

He raised his eyebrow and then leered, “Really? How come?”

I retorted, “I lost a friggin bet. Look let’s get on with it.  I am here he’s somewhere in there and he’s going to watch the whole thing I guess.  Anyway I have instructions and the money.”

He eyed the envelope, I opened it enough for him to see the bills. “Damn woman you are going to rue that bet for sure.”  He called back and a large swarthy man appeared, “You the piece of meat?”

I nodded, he asked how much money, I said, “Thirty six hundred dollars, it’s all there and whatever instructions he has are in there too..”  He scared me so I was less talkative.

“OK, girl, what’s your name?” He asked as he swung the door to allow me in.  He walked to a table with a lamp.  There was a girl standing on the table in higher heels than I had on, she had a pad and a tray, on the table, so everyone there was looking up her rather short skirt.

“Kimberly.” I replied now becoming very disconcerted.

“Ok, good.  Now Mandi, we have a some real entertainment tonight so, you guys are going to get off easy.”

“Good to hear that, sorry for you, Lady.  Can I stop giving beaver shots now Syd?  But only if you say I can.”

He waved her away and she was off disappearing into the darkened room.  Syd carefully counted, there were thirty-six one hundred dollar bills.  Then he read, grinned and then said, “Kimberly, let me read this to you.

‘Whoever reads this: this bitch had the gall to bet against me in a billiards tournament and she lost the bet.  She knew going in it would be the Paho if she lost.  She has pissed me off royally so no mercy and the worst you can do to her.  Make her wish she was never born.  No stop word.  She does the whole six hours including the back room.’ 

Well this is going to be a fun night.  So do you understand the whole of it?  You do it all, but understand you can walk out now otherwise you are a volunteer and you won’t be done for six hours.”

I nodded, now truly frightened and anxious.  “I understand and I am in for the whole thing I don’t go back on a bet.”

Syd smiled and said, “Ok for the next two hours you are going to get up an the tables and let yourself be mauled and fingered and otherwise abused.  The first rule is you can’t take any clothes off while you are out there, second rule is other than stripping you or making you suck their cock, they can do anything they want to you.  They can hit, pinch, twist any part of you through your clothes.  You keep rotating to the next table every ten minutes until the bartender rings the bell.  Then the barmaids are going to find the twelve most disgusting glasses left on the table, trust me they will get the worst for you because if they don’t they drink it.  Then they will line them up on the floor and you have to drink all twelve dry.  Oh yeah, you do all this with your hands cuffed behind you and your ankles cuffed as well.  After you are done with that then we will take you to where it really gets bad for you.”

That last was really frightening, but in the back of my mind I knew that this was what I wanted.

He looked at me and said, “Turn around whore.”  I obeyed and he snapped a pair of handcuffs on tightly, the two cuffs were connected by a single link.  Then he squeezed my breasts and then he slapped me, “Stand with your ankles together,  bitch.”  Once again, I did as I was told.  My face stung where he struck, I wondered what I had gotten myself into, this was supposedly the mild part of the ordeal. He fastened a set of ankle cuffs again tightly, my discomfort was obviously the goal. I could take nine inch steps, but I was not going to be able to run away.  I was committed.

Now he led me to through double doors into a darkened room, “Remember bitch, you let them do what they want to you, if they go too far we will take care of their asses.  You have 90 minutes in here then it gets bad.  Frankly, you are fucked girl.  And everyone in here knows they can have you worse later. So enjoy the warm up slut.  We are.”

I was led to a set of stairs and left, I understood the instructions and was afraid the worse would start sooner if I didn’t cooperate.  I eased myself up to the tabletop ans then the DJ announced “Well guys let’s welcome Kimberly to The Paho, this bitch is here to pay a debt so let’s make sure her creditor get’s his money worth.  Just quick reminder no dicks out here, you can’t strip her or tear her clothes, but you can do about anything else, Oh for some of you who can’t tell the difference, a blow-job is your dick hanging out and is a no no.  Ok let’s give Kimberly a real Club Paho welcome.”  The spot light hit me half way up the stairs and the hooting and catcalls started.

As I topped the stairs and walked onto the table, a hand reached out and jerked my ankle back sending me crashing to my face.  My hands were behind me so I could not break the fall and the impact crushed the breath out of me.  As I wheezed trying to recover my breath I was dragged backwards my skirt hiked over my ass and I was being spanked by at least two sets of hands maybe more, I wasn’t concentrating, on that, just getting my breath back.  After they tired of that I was getting to my knees slowly, my skirt was still hiked over my hips. I leaned forward and found my tits grabbed squeezed then slapped and then I was pushed onto my back.  All this tio the cheers and jeers of the crowd.  Just then there was a ding, and the DJ said, “OK, table one that’s it for you ok guys move her to table two,”  Table one moaned their objection and table two celebrated the upcoming entertainment. 

I was dragged to the side and carried over a should to the next table.  The guys at this table were too wasted to do much it seems, there was a call for me to dance so I swayed my hips and then I felt something hard hit me in the tit and herd metal drop to the floor .  I looked down and saw a quarter.  Then another strike at my abdomen, another quarter, then one hit my forehead and hurt a little followed quickly by two quarters hittin my ankle, it was not dong a lot of damage, but the hits particularly on bare or stockinged skin smarted.  And there seemed to be no end to the supply of quarters, the attack continued and the laughter was mortifying as they maocked my attempts to avoid the coins.  I dodged a few but I could not see the direction the coins came from as the spotlight masked their throws, so most found their target.  Finally, the DJ announced, “Ok guys at table two nice job.  I bet she’ll have to cover up real well or have to explain some interesting bruises.  Ok on to table three.”  I was dragged off the table and delivered to the next table.

This table was back to grabbing and fondling me.  One guy grabbed my braid and french kissed me for a minute and then pushed me back.  That started a competition with most trying to stick their tongues into my throat.  No success there but it used up their time quickly. The DJ announce my departure for table four.

  As I was moved to the next table, I noticed that the drinks were flowing heavy and fast.  The patrons were getting drunker and less inhibited.  I was dumped on to table four and fought my way to my feet.  I thought about backing away but the table was against the wall and most of the guys could reach me.  This was starting like the others, grabbing, squeezing and so forth but about half way through the time at four one bastard stood up drew his arm back and puched my stomach so violently, I flew back, bounced off the wall and collapsed into a fetal position .  I had no chance prepare and the position of my arms pushed the target forward I lay stunned and in shock on the table.  Then he started to climb onto the table perhaps to hit me again or kick me or something worse, but I would never find out, he was whisked away and out of sight.  The DJ laughed and spoke, “Ok guys remember the rules, that poor sop, was fine belting her that way, but no climbing on the table, that was tonight’s first 86, I hope it’s the last.”  I was dumbfounded, he was not ejected for the violent assault, but for breaking a club rule..  I was barely able to reach my feet in time to be hoisted and carried to the next table.  I was not even half way through this initial abuse and already I could hardly stand. How could I survive this? Let alone the really bad things promised in the future.  The crowd was getting drunker and darker.  What kind of torture and abuse was coming at the next five tables let alone afterward. Out of easy sight of the authorities?

As I approached table five, I was fatigued and hurting.  I hoped that the little example at the last table would cool off the room.  I could have saved myself the bother of hoping, They were ready for me.  Some guy stood up with a pool stick in his hand and said, “On your knees bitch and bed over.”  Too frightened to object I eased over turned around and knelt.  He pushed me and I fell forward, not too hard but I still felt it when my face found the table top.  I knew what was coming of course and braced myself for the hit.  It was squarely on my gluteus and it was hard and loud.  The cheap stick broke and the large end flew past me and off the wall.  I could feel exactly where the wood had landed.  However, I wasn’t finished someone retrieved the large end and I was hit again, this time it didn’t break.  I was not sure how I was going to be able to sit after that table, each guy at the table took a hit with the stick.  My ass was really tender when I was picked up for the next table.

At table six there was so much violence but some really sick stuff none the less.  I was told to lay my head over the table edge and open my mouth.  I did so, and the guy proceeded to dump beer in my mouth and I coughed and sputtered, “Drink it whore!”  Started to tip the glass again, this time I was ready and gulped the beer down.  The one next to him said, “That’s too easy on her watch this.”  He took a swig and put his mouth against my open mouth and spit the beer into it.  I still got the beer down easily.  I sat there with my head over the edge and my mouth open while the two argued about the better way and which way was more demeaning.  Tehn a third interrupted.  “You two have no fucking idea do you?  Watch and learn.  You bitch hold the mouth open and don’t swallow until you are told to do so.”  Then he stood over me and looked like he was grimacing and I wondered what he was doing, then he let a ball of spit drop into my mouth, I was so surprised, and I was about to spit it out when a evil look told me I had better not.  “Ok everyone let’s fill her up.   All the table occupants took turn putting their oral fluids into my mouth, they over filled, the slimy liquid was running down my face.  Finally, the initial spitter said, “Ok cunt, swallow it all.”  He looked so menacing I complied immediately.  The roar was deafening, the whole room thought that was great.  Time was up and I was delivered to table seven.

As drunk as everyone was getting it should not be a surprise that I was on my back again with mouth open and all manner of spittle in my mouth.  Almost at the end of my stay at table seven though I realized that alcohol was in charge in the room now as some drunk stood up and said, you idiots let me show what you need to put her mouth.  The slob started to tug on his zipper. And he was gone.  I was so abused and weary I actually wondered whether he was going to piss in my mouth or cum in it.  The DJ spoke, “OK number two ejected , keep your shirts on guys, this wench will be delivering a lot better favors soon enough.”  There were cheers.

Table eight was probably to glassy eyed to do much, they spent a lot of time poking and squeezing, but little else and I noticed that the drinking had tailed off, I wondered when that had started,  never the less, I was grateful for the chance to recover somewhat.  It was a short time there it seemed especially when I realized that the warm up was coming to an end. 

Table nine was surprising, only one guy was there.  I looked and saw lines starting to form and the tables emptying, I got a real sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.  The main attraction was getting a heavy response and I was going to be that main attraction.  The man at the last table had me swing my legs over the edge of the table and proceeded to rub my thighs and poke at my pussy through my panties and pantyhose and soon he left me standing at the last table and found a spot in line.  I was left waiting.

Then a ships bell rang and I was taken off the table and knelt in the space next to the bar.  The barmaids were scurrying gathering up glasses.  Soon there were a dozen glasses in front of me.  The swarthy man walked along studying each glass.  As he approached the end of the line he walked around the room looking just as intently the tables.  He walked back to the line picked up the eighth glass and said, “Windy, there are worse than this on the tables, drink up.”  The glass was filled a fifth the way up with a cigarette butt floating in it.  The girl grimaced and drank it down and went to find a replacement and returned with something truly dreadful looking.

I knew now that this was not going to be any thing but disgusting and humiliating. The swarthy one pointed to the first glass, it was filled with peanut shells and beer.  I grasp the lip of the glass wit my teeth and the mixture spilled onto my face, but some of the mess ended up in my mouth.  I chewed it and forced it down.  Number two was spittle and a little beer and that went rather easily.  Number three had some french fries and a well chewed piece of some kind of sandwich, I was beginning to feel a little queasy.  Number four and number five were glasses with spit and cigar stubs.  I got one of the stubs into my mouth after a menacing look from the boss.  Number six was more chewed food and beer.  Number seven looked just like beer, and I was puzzled until my nose detected a bitter smell of bile, someone evidently had slipped out and provided something without breaking the rules.  I forced that down and was beginning to really feel sick.  Then there was number eight it was the worst, it was yellow liquid as well and a condom with white slime bleeding out of it.  The boss said. “This one slut I help you with.”  He lifted it to my lips and I knew I had to take it all.  My stomach was roiling now, the last four were more spit and beer.  I went through them quickly.  The Swarthy man declared the first part done.  I had made it through, barely.  I could not guess how I was going to be able to survive the next phase.

Part 2:        The main event

I had managed to get through some of the most abusive things I could ever imagine and I was about to put into a situation that was much worse.  I was taken by one of the barmaids to the women’s restroom and ushered to a toilet and she handed me a glass of an unpleasant smelling liquid. “Hon, we need to empty your tummy, drink this and then just let all come up.”

I drank that mixture down quickly, I wasn’t sure how it could be worse that what I had just taken in.  It tasted as bad as it smelled and almost immediately I retched and start throwing everything up   All the gorss things I had just ingested was sent to the bowl and flushed away.  I sat in the stall recovering when the girl said, “Come honey we don’t have a lot of time and we need to get you a little stronger before the guys come to get you.”  That had a very ominous sound to it, but I was not allowed to ponder on it.  I was being given a glass that smelled much less unpleasant.  As I drank it I felt rejuvenated and yes, stronger.  Soon I was more alert and even a bit skittish.  I felt like I needed to move.  In horror, I realized that they had given me something like meth, I looked at her. “She said, I am sorry but if I don’t do this, I’m next.”  I was helped up still shackled and lead to a spot that was a door between the restrooms and The Swarthy Man was waiting for me.  He dismissed the barmaid by saying, “Ok Amber get back to your customers.”   Without a word,  Amber abandoned me to my fate and left quickly.

The Swarthy Man looked me over and then to the four other men in the room.  They nodded to an unseen order and I was roughly pushed face first against the wall Then someone unfastened the fetters on my ankles , but immediately they were held by two sets of hands and slid them apart until the skirt rode up showing my crotch then the handcuffs were removed and my arms were forced into an uncomfortable position and tied off It was a reversed prayer position and was painful right from the start

A pair of hands finished exposing my crotch as I was held spread there.  Suddenly, I heard the flick of a cigarette lighter as I felt my panties being drawn down.  All at once I smelled burning fabric and jumped as much as I could.  But I was held solidly in place I was really panicked.  If tyhe torture was to be burning my pussy my gaffew could be destroyed and my secret would be disclosed and I had no illusions that it would be violent and potentially fatal if I were discovered to be male.  Fortunately, if you could call it fortune, they more interested in burning off the pantyhose.  That was painful enough.  I screamed and struggled as the burning material burned hotly for a second causing multiple first degree burns on my legs.  Nothing permanently damaging, but excruciatingly painful and would be irritating throughout the rest of the night.

At this point I was turned around and forced to bend at the waist and then the sexual assault was on.  I could not see the first violator   He was anxious to take me anally. You understand that I am not virgin in my ass, but it still is painful.  He slid in forcefully and pushed in and pulled out jerking it to add to the stress on the anus This animal kept at it for what seemed hours though I expect it was just for ten minutes or so and he spat semen into my bowel finally and turned me over to another abuser to administer my next humiliating rape.

I faced my abusers, a mixture of Polynesian and Latino men.  Access to me was available after the pantyhose was burned off me.  Then one of the bastards stepped up to me and tore open my eighty-nine dollar silk blouse and yanked my lacy bra up revealing my tits.  Then he and the others were mauling them and the rest of my body.  I struggled and fought, but with my arms tightly bound behind me it was fruitless. The monsters bit and sucked on my breasts sometimes stopping to hit them, sometimes stopping to bite  them, but always hurting them.

Finally, tiring of the rough foreplay one removed his prick from his pants and violently jammed it into my artificial cunt.  I worked hard to duplicate the feel of the interior of a woman’s love canal and was very successful.  It was soft and pliable and pressed gently against the inserted dick so it feels somewhat tight  I even have arranged a pouch of liquid under the gaffe to keep it lubricated appropriately, so it is moist and sometimes wet..  The thrust released the liquid and it looked for the world as if I had just cum.   The Latin jerk laughed triumphantly and shot his wad into me. The other three then took turns raping me in the ass or the cunt.  I was somewhat confused.  They were not shy about using my body, but there was no oral sex at all.  That was out of character, that is something most men enjoy a lot and they just seemed to ignore my mouth altogether. They did use my ass and cunt though and were not gentle about it at all.  I decided not to look the gift horse in the mouth at that point.

When they had finished with their pleasure, I was put on my feet and led through the door into a hallway or narrow room.  It was darker in there and I could see an alcove, the upper part was some kind of clear plastic.  It looked strange and there was a hole toward the top of it.  I could only guess as to its purpose.  I would learn its use all too soon though.

I was stopped and made to stand as a blindfold was put in place.  I could see nothing now and then my nose was pinched and as I opened my mouth to breathe,  I felt metal forced into my mouth and my teeth seated in ridges.  Then my mouth was forced open wide and I could not close it.  Quickly saliva began to run out of my mouth and I tried to use my tongue to control it.  Then the tongue was grasped and I felt a painful pinch as it was grabbed by a metal clip. The tongue was pulled out and down and was tied off.  My mouth was vulnerable, there was no way to fight off anything that was going to be put in my mouth.  The drug they had me on kept me awake and squirming.  I realized that my mouth was not going to be spared at all, I was about to be forced to give glory hole service.  I was about to be mouth raped for the rest of the night.

I think I struggled a little at that point, it was a useless gesture, I was defenseless against these guys and they were prepping me rapidly I was forced to kneel on a platform and while one of then pushed my bare breasts against the plastic another forced my leg up and forward and another set of hands forced  my other leg up and forward as well.  Then a bar was threaded through in front of my ankles and the ankles were fastened to it and I was left balancing on my knees.  Now I felt something pushing at my sphincter then a dildo of some sort pushed in and then I could feel another phallus forced up into the gaffe and it was not small.

I was pulled back slightly. Now my nipples were clipped and then I was pushed forward again.  A strap was fastened around the back of my neck  My face was pulled forward and my mouth lined up with the hole.  I could tell immediately that this was going to be a very painful amount of time.  My whole weight bore down on my two knees and they already began to hurt. My tongue was tender and the clip held my tongue with a vengeance.  My nipple hurt as well, but they were to become more painful soon.

I heard the door open and close behind me and I realized the worst was ahead of me as promised.  I heard the door open and a cheer.  I was available for abuse.  I couldn’t see, just hear the steps walk to me.  It was as he stepped up to the glory hole that I became aware of the full extent of the torture.  At the place where the man stood there was a pressure plate that had contacts.  These switches turned on the vibrators in those things stuck in my holes.  The feeling was disconcerting enough to me, but to a real woman it would have been much more intense. The second surprise however, was far more pertinent to me man or woman.  The plate also had a mechanism the pulled strongly on the clips attached to my nipples, it was extraordinarily painful and it lasted the entire time the man stood at the glory hole.  This was what I was working through as the first customer came to use my mouth.

The vibrating dildos created a sensation in my ass and marginally on my dick, but those sensations were overshadowed by the pain as my tits were abused.  This guy dropped the head of his shaft on my tongue.  He thrust it forward and dragged back.  I could feel him grow on my tongue.  The member got tauter and more solid and traveled further into my mouth with each stroke.  My saliva coated his dick and made the slipping quicker and the head started punching the back of my throat and I began to gag.  His strokes came quicker and I heard him groan and suddenly he rammed his cock into my mouth and held it there, as he ejaculated into me.  The creamy slime shot into the back of my mouth and rolled down the back of my throat and I swallowed to keep from choking.  He pulled out leaving a streamer of semen attached to my face.  As he stepped back, there was instant relief as the tension on my nipples was released and the buzzing in my groin stopped.  So was my fate for the rest of this night.  My mouth was a cunt to fuck.  My face presented into the men’s room to be used by anyone who cared to do so and I had no way of stopping them.  For the next few hours these men owned my body and I was in torment for the position I had placed myself.  I could blame no one but myself.  I was being used at my own request.  These guys didn’t know it, but I did.

The second customer was already hard when he arrived at the glory hole and just shoved the rod in and let loose filling my throat with his seed.  He pulled out and shook a bit of his spunk on my nose.  Then he left, it was humiliating, he really didn’t care to even properly rape my mouth, he just needed to get off and he did.  The blessing was that he was not on the plate very long so the nipple torment was short.

It was probably well into my second our there when someone finally used me for something beside a cunt.  I was somewhat numb as cock after cock pushed into the soft tissue of my oral cavity.  My knees ached form being perched on them holding all my weight.  My fade was sticky form the drying goo from each man as he pulled out of my mouth and left some residual semen on my face.  My stomach was not the best off.  Interestingly I was still alert.  The drug they fed me was still working

Anyway as I said it was likely well into the second hour when some guy stumbled to the glory hole paused to unzip and plant a soft dick in my mouth.  My tits screamed in objection as they once again were being pulled roughly.  I waited and nothing came.  He stood there and I wanted to scream for all the good it would do me.  After a good twenty minutes voices behind him began to complain, some voice said, :For the love of god, do something to her mouth.”  And I heard he say “Fuck it.”  And suddenly a very warm and bitter liquid started flowing into my mouth.  He was pissing into it.  I was forced to gulp this vile stuff down to keep form possibly drowning.  Worse yet, much of it was escaping my mouth and running down my chin and the front of me soaking my expensive blouse, bra, and skirt.  I hit the bottom then, not only had I become an anonymous hole to spunk into, I was now reduced to a urinal.  I started to sob.  All I wanted to so was to get out of this place and forget I ever thought of doing this.  Unfortunately, they were far from being done with me yet. 

More men used my mouth as a cum hole, each one stepping to the glory hole and causing real pain to my breasts.  And a few more, who could not cum, had to be satisfied with pissing into me.  I lost count of how many abuses early and was only dimly aware of any passage of time, but I was acutely aware of the pain and the humiliation. The drug saw to that.  After a while the periods between being sodomized began to stretch longer.  It was a relief for my tits, but my knees and back got no relief.

Eventually, it stopped altogether.  It was over.  It seemed to take forever to hear the door behind me open and I felt hands roughly handling my body.  First the rod that had held me feet in the intolerable position was retracted and I was able to have my legs underneath ne again.  It was a mixed blessing.  My joints were stiff from their captivity and it hurt to move them.  The gag was removed and again the stiffness kept me silent.  I was not covered and my arms were still tied in the horrendous binding behind my back as was more or less dragged to out of the room and down a hall.  I was stood and felt the ropes cut from my arms and hands and before I could react I was pushed out a door to the outside chilled air.

There was another surprise waiting for me, before I had a chance to reach up and remove my blindfold.  I was grabbed and pinned to the ground.  My legs were grabbed and spread.  I was disoriented and confused.  Then my skirt was hiked up and my female genitalia was exposed.  I realized that the ordeal was not over yet.  I was about to be raped.  Like any woman in my situation I fought and like most women I lost the battle.  I felt a cock being position at my slit and pushed in.  I was ficked not once but five times and then I was punched in the stomach so hard I retched up the contents of the night’s festivities.

Physically I was a mess, but I was so much worse off emotionally.  I managed to struggle to my knees and finally removed the blindfold.  The dark alley behind the club was ideal for the attack.  It was well hidden form sight.   There was of course no sign of the rapists.  I sat there and sobbed and I felt so worthless.  My surroundings of garbage seemed to be appropriate.  Finally, I straightened my clothes out the best I could and went to find my ride home.  It was almost like it was planned the taxi that delivered me was waiting for me.  I rode home in miserable silence.  It was not until I was in my apartment and I had searched for any sign of strangers.  Only when I was certain that I was safe, I locked the door and curled into a fetal position on the sofa and rocked back and forth.

Epilogue: The aftermath

As I sit and write this it is hard to realize that it was six long years ago. The detail of my recollections is amazing.  I think I am as recovered as I can hope to be.  It has taken many years to resolve that event in my life.  It has changed it radically.  Five years ago I had a radical mastectomy and with the help of testosterone shots I am relatively physically a whole male again.

I date women exclusively again and when I am with them I am as gentlemanly a sex partner as I can be.  I am very sensitive to what a woman wants in a normal healthy sexual relationship.  I am finishing the last therapy on my return to normalcy this paper and I feel that I have adjusted to being simply a man again.  I am happy with this and do not want to change that at all.

I look at the paper and place it in the folder.  It will be delivered next Wednesday and the road back will be complete.  Then, I take out another sheet of paper it is an addendum that will not accompany the the report to the therapist.

My recovery is not wholly complete and never will, there is a dark result of the ordeal.  You see I have a membership to The Paho Club and if I hear there is going to be a girl paying the price.  I am there to watch it with real fascination.  I want to see her degraded and abused.  I pay the extra money to sit and watch in that narrow back room between the men’s and women’s restrooms and watch as she is debauched and humiliated and I wait outside in the back of The Paho Club, afterwards, waiting for the back door to open.  I have changed, but some things don’t