Denial Ch. 01

I don't believe that there's a man reading this who has been symbolically castrated as thoroughly as I. What began as virtually a sexless marriage for my wife and I, has remained a sexless marriage, but changed drastically in nature. In effect, my wife took a passive withholding of sex and turned it into an active withholding with female domination as the weapon. She is perfect proof that a dominatrix does not have to be born one. She can surely become one.

Maxine and I are both 37, she is a teacher, and I am a freelance financial consultant. I am 6'2" tall, and she is 5'4". We are now both slender and fit. She has long and full light brown hair. We are homeowners, and together earn a nice living. Our neighbors like us, we are close with our families, and together and separately, we have some good friends.

I met Maxine in high school, and we dated through college, after which we got married. We were both virgins when we met. Maxine is the All-American girl next door. She has a lovely, warm almost shy smile, perfect teeth, is squeaky clean and well pressed. Until the last few years, she was slightly overweight. The one word everyone had for her was "lovable." Maxine grew up being the girl whose friend always got married. She was the perennial bridesmaid type.

We love each other, but she had never really enjoyed sex. She never liked oral or anal sex either, and only reluctantly sucked me as a short preparation to entering her. She hated the feel and taste of my semen. For herself, she only enjoyed manual stimulation of her clitoris, and put up with intercourse with me. I don't want to paint the picture of a prude, or someone who found sex dirty. Sex, as I found out, just didn't play an important role in her life.

Despite all of this, we loved each other very much. We are very warm to each other, and enjoy life. But gradually, because sex was such a stumbling block, I began to withdraw into a sexual fantasy world based on masturbation, which was often my only sexual release for weeks at a time. We made love less than a dozen times during our second year of marriage, and it didn't change much over the years.

Something allowed me to put up with this. Perhaps it was a subconscious living out of the s&m literature which I was inceasingly drawn to. I found out through therapy later, that I was blaming myself for our lack of sex, and fantasizing that she should punish me for our poor sex life. This was all subconscious. In the third year of marriage (1977), I finally acted on this fantasy. I had to do something.

One night, I tried to convince Maxine to make love to me. She was not in the mood, so on an impulse, I handed her my belt, got on my hands and knees, and asked her to hit me a few times on the ass. She looked at me curiously, but playfully, she began hitting me. When she saw that I was turned on, she reached under and began to play with my penis. After a few more hits, and some firm hand strokes, I came in her hand. She wiped it in my hair, and made me clean her fingers with my mouth. She giggled embarrassingly and said, "You're a sicko."

I sensed, however, that she was very relieved that we didn't have to have sexual intercourse. The episode had no negative effects on our marriage.

The next few years saw much of the same pattern continuing. I started a collection of s&m toys, which included nipple clamps, seven gates of hell, a small cat o'nine tails, a riding crop. The scenerio every time when I brought these home were always the same.

"What in the world is this?!" Maxine would look at the item like it was a dead rat, expressing distaste. She would then give me a cold look letting me know what she thought of me for buying it. "Well, what do you want me to do with it?"

We would always try the item, and while she was either hitting my ass with the crop, or yanking on the nipple clamps, I would masturbate to orgasm. Everytime, just at the point that I was coming, she would always begin her lecture. "You're sick, you know. I can't believe that this pain and degradation excites you." Afterward, on the rare instances when she was sexually excited, I would use my fingers to give her an orgasm.

Whenever I asked her if her sex drive and attitude toward conventional sex would improve if we stopped with the s&m scenarios, she said that they might. But again, the pattern became the same. We would give conventional sex a try with absolutely no success, and we would be back to the s&m substitute for me. She indulged me, but made no bones about it that even though she was denying me any sexual release except s&m, she found it mildly repelling.

This pattern continued, with us having an s&m session maybe once a month, then battle over sex maybe once every three months. She remained uninvolved through it all, and never initiated these sessions. I always had to ask for them. I spent the first ten years of my marriage geting rejected for sexual contact about 9 out of 10 times. As I noted, this could be seen as a very effective, if passive, castration.

Things got worse. Maxine was tired from gaining much weight and often for more than two months in a row, I was sexually ignored. I would masturbate nightly.

In 1981 I couldn't stand it any more, and had an affair. I needed some attention and validation of my existance and sexuality. The affair was a conventional one, with wonderful sex and was very intense. I even briefly considering leaving Maxine for this woman. But as she lived in England, it became impossible to continue. But it served its purpose. I knew what I DIDN'T want: I didn't want to be ignored sexually anymore.

After a few weeks of thinking about it, I told Maxine not about the affair, but about my not wanting to be sexually ignored. I told her that I thought we should go into marital therapy. She exploded. She was vehemently against any kind of therapy. "I don't need a therapist to tell me what to do, and that I have to change my life. We can settle our own problems," she said. I said that something had to be done, that I felt like a subhuman the way she just ignored my sexuality.

We began talking realistically about our expectations. I enjoyed intercourse and all forms of conventional sex, but when not available, I could accept s&m as a substitute. She disliked intercourse and oral sex, but could accept s&m as a substitute.

I asked her if we should stop totally with conventional intercourse, (if she wanted to fuck, she would initiate it) but for my release, we would stick to s&m. She said it was okay with her, but how did I feel. I agreed to do it for a while.

Things improved for a while, with us having a weekly s&m session, after which, if she was hot, I would finger her to orgasm. With the pressure of intercourse off her, more often than before, when she was torturing me, she got hot, and I would have to masturbate her.

But in a few months, things began to slip again, and soon we were back to the once monthly session. For four years, we had no intercourse, and only about two dozen s&m sessions. I would almost have to beg her to do them. She never initiated.

When Maxine's school term was over in June of 1985, I packed a suitcase, made a reservation at a local motel, and told her I was leaving. She was in shock, but understood why. She told me she loved me, begged me to stay, and said that we should talk. I told her that "talk was just talk," and that it was obvious that she didn't care about me or my sexual fulfillment.

She finally got me to sit down and we talked again. It boiled down to the fact that while s&m was a good substitute for conventional sex, if I had to initiate every session, and she was so uninvolved, and if she were too tired, then the only option I had was to go into the bathroom and masturbate. I felt ignored. (I secretly turned on my tape recorder for this conversation, so the words are verbatim. She had a habit of denying things that she said, and I wanted this on the record for us.)

It was then that she came up with an idea. "Honey, you are unsatisfied that I don't take an active enough part in your sex life. It's hard for me to do anything when I'm asleep, or tired or when I don't want to. But what is the one hardest part of the whole thing for you?"

"You ignoring me."

"You wanted me to be your dominant mistress, right? Well, why can't you look at it that I was ignoring you sexually on purpose. And in my role, I was still allowing you to masturbate. Why can't you look on this as kind of a fantasy punishment. As part of the game?" she said.

"You know damn well, Maxine, that you ignoring me was at best out of laziness, and at worst, out of just not caring. I really feel that you just don't care, one way or the other."

Maxine lit a cigarette, and thought for a moment. "Sweetheart, my sex drive is less than yours, and always will be. We have to face it. And using the s&m equipment takes too much energy out of me when I'm tired. I don't really mind when you masturbate. It's just that it takes you so long, and I like you beside me in bed so I could hold you. I mean, imagine all of the extra work on your career you could do if you just cut down on masturbating."

I shook my head. She didn't understand. "It's not really the masturbation, I need. I need the validation and attention that I have a penis and a sex life. And intercourse is positive sexual validation." I nodded.

She thought again. "But with those s&m devices, you're getting positive attention and negative validation. And that turns you on?"

"It could. At least it's some kind of sexual attention." I answered.

"What turns you on about it, honey?"

"I don't know. I guess I'm guilty about certain things, and I'm trying to pay for it."

"So you feel that you should be paying a price for your orgasm, and the price is pain and humiliation."

"I guess."

She took a drag on her cigarette, and toyed with it in the ashtray. A lightbulb seemed to be going off in her head. "So, with you, you need validation and attention to your penis and sexlife. You need to know your penis is there, and that I know it's there. And that I make you pay the price. And you can get your validation either positive or negative, right? I mean either intercourse or s&m gets you off, right?"

I didn't know if she was on to something, or not. She just smoked, and thought. Then she spoke "I love you honey, and I really want to keep you. Sex is too small of a topic to lose someone over. I consider it unimportant either way. But what we have is that you need some kind of sexual validation, either positive or negative. Right?"

"Yes" I answered.

Maxine sat back, and concentrated. "Now my role can either be active or passive."

I lost her, and she explained. "What would active positive sexual validation be?"

"Uh, active? Intercourse or oral sex, I guess." I answered.

"Right!" she replied. "Which, as I stated, is very hard for me to do because besides not enjoying them, I'm very tired evenings. I'm also very tired evenings for active negative sexual validation."

"S&M?" I supplied the answer.

"Exactly!" she confirmed, just like the school teacher she was. "That leaves two: passive, positive sexual validation, that is, validation of your sexuality which you get without my active participation. Your solo masturbation comes in here. You say that this is empty?"

I sighed, which was my answer. Maxine leaned back again, and lit another cigarette.

"That leaves passive, negative sexual validation. I don't know how you'll react to this." She gently guided my head into her lap, and stroked my hair as we spoke. "This is a really radical idea."

All I saw above me was the glow of her cigarette, and her head silhouetted against the curtains behind the couch. I'll always remember this image and the words that followed, because they changed my life. "What are you thinking about?" I asked.

"You admit that you are turned on by the idea of me being a really cruel bitch. You get off when I become sadistic?"

I nodded, and she stroked my head.

She spoke, "Well, if intercourse is not satisfactory to me, and your own masturbation is not pleasurable to you, and if s&m sessions are just as tiring as intercourse for me, there is really only one option left. passive, negative sexual validation."

She drew on her cigarette, and let out the smoke slowly as she let the idea sink in to me.

"I still don't understand." I said.

She explained. "It's simple, sweetheart. While positive, passive sexual activity is masturbation, this is unacceptable to you. But negative, passive sexual activity is denial of masturbation."

"You mean to actively deny someone the opportunity to masturbate is negative, passive sexual activity?"

She nodded. "That's right. Look at it this way. What if I were really the cruel bitch you fantasize about. I certainly wouldn't let you masturbate whenever you felt like it. I would restrict you according to my own ideas on when you should be allowed to have a climax. With such negative-passive sex, the person being controlled would only be permitted to masturbate if his partner took a positive act to allow it."

I let it sink in, while Maxine waited and smoked. Certain times in every sexual relationship are marked by times when both partners are totally in sync, and feel the same rush at the same time. This was one such time. I could feel the heat coming from Maxine's lap, and the way she breathed deeply and drew on her cigarette gave me the clue that she was very much into this.

"Would you find it exciting if I actually controlled your penis and your erections, and denied you sexual relief except when I wanted you to have it? Would you stop feeling ignored and unvalidated?" She inquired.

"I don't know." I answered. But Maxine knew the answer.

"I think you'd find it very exciting not knowing when your next orgasm would be. And, if I felt like being particularly cruel to you, or if I were angry at you and wanted to really punish you, I could forbid you any sexual relief for as long as I saw fit." Maxine took a long pull on her cigarette, and smiled mischeviously. "Well? What if that's what I decided? Does that turn you on?"

"How often would the Mistress allow me sexual relief?" I smiled and played along.

Maxine suddenly got very quiet. "This wouldn't be a game, honey. It would be a lifestyle. By having me in control of your orgasm, you would be receiving the validation -- negative as it is -- that you apparently need for your sexual fulfillment. By having control over your own sexual desires, you haven't been satisfied, so we'll try this. I will take this very seriously. And the way I look at it, you need to serve me in this way because you see me as being superior to you. And you are handing over to a higher being the control over one of your most basic urges, your orgasm."

"But I do need sexual relief." I implored.

She nodded her head, "I know you do, darling. But what we're talking about here will give me the control over when and how often. It would be up to me how much erotic tension and pressure I apply to the situation. I'd want to learn just how I can pull the strings on your sex drive. I may wind up ignoring you, as I have in the past. But even by ignoring you, I would be actively controlling your sex life by denying you relief." She reached over and felt my hardening penis. "You really find this idea hot, don't you?"

"How would you know I was keeping my word, and not jerking off behind your back." I asked as Maxine kept massaging my full erection.

"I'd enforce it with some kind of punishment." She answered, and took a drag on her cigarette. "Well, I wouldn't even give you the power to disobey. It would be too tempting for it to work without some enforcement. I would have to make it virtually impossible for you to get any kind of release without permission. We'd need some kind of practical device." She then asked me if I had ever seen a device, something like a male chastity belt which would allow me to urinate and wash, that she could lock on for as long as she wanted it to be on, and would make an erection impossible. I said I would look around.

"We can start this next time. Tonight, I want to get some sleep."

And with that, Maxine rose from the couch, and walked up to the bedroom.

The next day, I stopped into a sex shop and bought the cock cage. That night when I brought it home from work, she asked me to demonstrate it. It was a tubular device with small metal bars for a soft penis to fit into, and leather straps to wrap around the balls to hold the device on. An erection was impossible and very painful with the device on. It could be "locked" by placing a tiny padlock through one of the holes in the leather strap.

Maxine asked me to wear the device under my clothing for the next day, unlocked, to see how it felt. That evening, she wanted me to try and masturbate, but the metal and leather device made an erection very painful. She then bent over me and began licking me through the metal bars of the device to get me hot, and the same result. The restricted erection hurt badly, and I had to fight it back to keep the pain away.

She led me over to the bed, and had me adjust my chastity harness tightly, but livably. She emptied the box it came in and found the tiny lock which fit the cage. She placed it through one of the holes in the leather strap that held the cage in place. She left the lock unlocked. "I see you can take this device off anytime you wish. In case of a medical emergency, all you have to do is cut this leather strap, and the lock comes right off too. And if you ever really want to take it off yourself, a simple scissors will do the trick. But I don't think that's what you actually want. I hope you can accept that I will be totally controlling your sexlife."

Maxine reached up and held my face in two hands, not tenderly, but like a child to whom she wanted to make a strong point. "This is very much like a castration. Can you come to terms with that?"

She looked at me with a slight smile, and I began to tear. Why was she being so cruel? She had reached down into my guts, twisted, and pulled them right out. And all with gentle words. I wondered if the basis for our sexual relationship over the last 10 years was centered on this, and whether by symbolically castrating me like this was part of her psychological need, a plan which began with her denying me intercourse and sexual contact. I saw she was getting hot just talking about this. She kissed away my tears, and held my head as she spoke. Her voice changed, and became authoritative and hard."

"The new rule is, this is my cock now and only?_ decide when this device is removed. If you ask me, it automatically stays on. If you hint that I should let you take it off, it automatically stays on. If you even seem like you're going to hint, it stays on. I hope you understand that this means that you will never again be able to just go off and masturbate like you did every night. I hold the key."

She stroked my penis, and it began to hurt again. She stopped when the pain was getting too extreme. "If at anytime, you decide you don't want this on, just take it off. But there's a penalty. You're never again to annoy me about our sex life, and I'll ignore you more than ever. I promise you that. So you have to decide: Is masturbating once or twice a day a better sex life that having my full attention to your denial 24-hours a day? Is having your penis locked away until I decide to let you have an erection and an orgasm the way you want to live your life from now on?"

"I don't know." I replied.

"Yes or no?"

I paused. "Yes"

"This is about as cruel a thing as I can ever imagine doing to a man in the prime of his sexual life. I love you very much, and if this total control over your orgasm and sex life will give us some peace, and settle the only real issue we fight over, then I can certainly stand depriving you in this way. After all, this may actually give me some relaxation."

"How often will you allow me to masturbate." I asked.

"Whenever I think of it, not you."

I thought about the idea of denial, and realized that a few days or a week without masturbating might actually highten my orgasm when I do have one. I began to get hard.

Maxine saw my excitement and smiled " Remember, the thought of allowing you any sexual relief at all has to be my idea. And when the device does come off, I'll decide how you get relief."

She pulled me to her, and stroked my restricted penis again getting me hard.

"I don't know how I'll react if it becomes a reality." I answered honestly. I was a bit scared over the power Maxine now had.

"I think you'll react fine. This is something you need deep down. Since I love you, I want you to have what you really need. So, do we try it?" She had her hand poised on the lock, waiting for the go-ahead from me to lock it. I thought for a second, and realized that I was very excited and a little afraid. She was probably right. Deep down, this probably was what I had always secretly wanted. I nodded my head, and heard the lock click.

The first few nights, the pressure increased and I kept waiting for Maxine to go into her night table and take out the key. But she didn't. She would go to sleep holding me, and pushing her breasts into my back. She also made it a point to expose herself to me and turn the conversation to sex as often as she could.

A week after being locked up, I was about to burst. The summer evening was warm, so Maxine came to bed naked. She layed down and held me.

As I was trying to sleep, I started getting hard. Suddenly, on impulse, I gently took Maxine's hand and brought it to my penis. Her reaction was swift.

Maxine took hold of my caged penis, and began to coax it to fuller erection. She was speaking very low, but very distinctly from behind me. "So, the pressure is getting to you, is it?"

I nodded and grinded my hips against her hand. The pain was getting intense. "It's been a week, and you want an orgasm, I bet."

I sheepisly laughed.

"It is funny, isn't it. For me to see you like this, that is. Hot the way you are." She breathed into my face and stroked my caged cock. "You want my mouth there, don't you."

I nodded. She replied in a whisper. "I am so hot. I have been for days, but what is making me hot is your situation. Your frustration makes me so fucking hot! You're making me hotter now with your cock locked up than I ever was with it free."

I said nothing as she ground her body against mine. "Do you know what would make me so hot?"

I shrugged.

"Extending this frustration another two months."

"What?!?" I replied.

"I told you not to hint." She gave a few more fevered strokes, and then let go. "Go to sleep. You've no other choice."

We didn't speak a word about it from that point on. I was a "good boy" and didn't hint at all. A week went by, then two, then . . .

On a Saturday night two months later, Maxine came into our room, and tossed me the key to open up the cock lock. True to my word, I hadn't nagged her or even hinted for any relief. The sexual tension had built up in me fiercely so at the beginning, everything got me excited, but the pain when I got an erection quickly forced me to think myself soft.

A few times she had me finger her to orgasm, and the cage was very uncomfortable the way it restricted my penis. So, when she finally let me remove it, my cock momentarily sprung to life, but curiously began getting soft again. It stayed at a halfway erection, with a dull pain deep inside me. Maxine just stared and half smiled at my wilting erection. "You're not so hard now, big shot."

She told me to lie down on the bed, and she immediately began lowering her crotch onto my face. I looked up expectantly for her pussy to settle on my mouth, but my wife instead was lowering her ass onto my face. I tried to get to her pussy, but she was too quick. "I want you to tongue me in the back." The depravity of it all got to me, and as soon as her hand touched my penis it betrayed me. I began to have a weak orgasm. I wasn't even totally erect. It was very unfulfilling, like a 1/3 rd orgasm. Would it be like this everytime. Would I ever be able to get an erection and have a solid orgasm again?

"Please give me a rest, and let me try again," I asked her, as she wiped stray drops of my cum off her breasts.

"No!!" she asked. And even as my penis was still glistening, and my first orgasm in two months was subsiding, Maxine took the chastity device and began strapping it on me. She clicked the lock, and kissed me on the cheek.

"Say goodbye till Christmas, honey."

It was only September. I held back my tears.

She looked at me with a slight smile, and I began to tear. Why was she being so cruel? She had reached down into my guts, twisted, and pulled them right out of my body.

This was my lot in life now.

(more to come)

Denial Ch. 02

by Conquered©

I noted, after being locked in the cock cage for the first time in 1985, I thought that I would only have to wait a few days to be unlocked and allowed to masturbate. The rule was that I was not allowed to "even LOOK like I was hinting for her to unlock me." She would just extend my denial further if I did. That first time, instead of a few days, I was locked away for two months before she decided I should be permitted relief. When she took the cage off, I came almost immediately, was totally unfulfilled, and despite my begging, she locked me back in the cock cage, vowing to keep me locked in for four months, until Christmas.

During the next few months, I began to get more fully involved in my business, doing extra projects during evenings, as I couldn't spend time masturbating. A marked change came over Maxine, which had begun very slightly ever since my penis was locked away. Her sexual desire increased, from what was a once a sex drive that needed fulfilling every few months, to once monthly, then almost weekly cunnilingus, something she had expressed distaste for in the past. Although I was not allowed to mention that I myself was sexually frustrated, she and I talked very frankly about her own new sexual desire. It was like a new toy to her, and she was as relaxed as I had ever seen her. She shed 20 lbs., dressed more nicely, and we were very happy all around.

But after three more months of deprivation, I was becoming very frustrated. Maxine's desire had increased to the point where her orgasms were becoming more explosive, and she asked me to put two, then three fingers in her vagina while I licked her clit. "I need SOMETHING in there, but not your cock." She explained. I satisfied her this way, now twice or three times weekly.

We had agreed to talk at the six month mark (mid-December) about how it was working out. That night, she allowed me to talk to her about how I was feeling. I held back the tears as I told her that there was a constant sexual stimulation, it was never off my mind, and that I really needed sexual release. "Now that your desire has increased, why can't we just get into a more active sex life."

She said that she was sorry if it seemed cruel, but that this was what we each agreed would work. "My desires are really separate from all this. The most important thing is," Maxine added, "you're also making better use of your time in the evenings. If you hadn't noticed, your income has gone up about 20%." I had noticed that I was putting in more evening hours tending to my small consultant business and not jerking off evenings, and it was showing. She looked at me proudly, expecting me to thank her for enforcing my denial.

She continued to talk, and let me know that she had been doing a lot of thinking about her new sex drive, and concluded that she had apparently felt threatened by my penis all these years, and was avoiding sex because of the fear. Having control over my penis now freed her from this fear, and allowed her to feel more desire. She thanked me for it, and asked me if I was happy for her. I had no choice but to say yes.

A week later, on Christmas morning, I was awakened by Maxine locking our bedroom door. Naked, she crawled hungrily across our bed, and began unlocking my cock cage. She took it off, and put it aside. Then she slowly began massaging my penis. I was in heaven. She reached into her night table, and took out a bottle of baby oil. She began oiling and massaging my whole genital area. She kissed me, and thanked me for all of the pleasure I had given her for the last four months. She said that I probably wouldn't have to wait four months till next time. I thanked her.

She got my penis rock hard, and I could feel myself holding back an orgasm from her hot hands. "Don't come." she whispered as she leaned over to kiss me hotly, and nibbled on my ear as she worked her hands over my penis. This was the closest to love-making I had been in seven months.

Maxine then firmly, but gently pushed he flat onto my back, and slid around to straddle me. I expected her to lower her asshole over my mouth like last time, but instead, she moved lower, and began to lower her vagina onto my penis, and put it slowly into her vagina. "Please don't come," she implored. It sounded like she was begging. I tried to hold back, and got a little softer in the process. She began to frown. "Stay hard. I need you harder!" She was trying to keep the edge out of her voice, but I felt her anger.

She then began to squeeze my penis with her vagina, something she had never done before. As soon as I felt this, I began to explode. I heard her moan, "Damn you!" as I was coming, and she jumped off my now exploding penis, greatly ruining my first real orgasm in more than half a year.

She sat up, lit a cigarette and just glared at me. ""Why'd you come so fast. I needed to have you hard, and inside me. What happened to you? Can't you control yourself like a man anymore??"

I had no answer. We both knew that four months of enforced stimulation and celibacy had combined to wreak havoc on my potency and control. "I'm sorry," I said.

"Sorry means shit!" She calmed down, and told me to put the cock cage back on. I did, and in ritual fashion, I walked to her side of the bed and she clicked the lock shut. She took a drag on her cigarette and glared at me. "We'll try again on Valentine's Day." That was almost two months away.

In the next two months, Maxine joined a health club, and went evenings to work out. She was very excited about it, and she would enthusiastically share with me her progress in weights, and aerobics. She was developing a body better than she had ever had, and in a way it hurt that she had never made this effort earlier in our marriage.

Valentine's Day came, and that evening, when we put our daughter to sleep, I expected that she would come in and free my cock, as promised. She didn't, but put on her face cream, and lied down to go to sleep. I sat up as she was trying to sleep, and interrupted her sleep a few times with innocent questions. I was getting more and more frustrated, and finally asked her what date it was.

"February 14th," She replied groggily.

"St. Valentine's Day. Have you forgotten anything?" I said.

She sat bolt upright in bed and stared angrily at me. "I told you no hints!! You were hinting!!"

I began to stammer, "No I wasn't."

"Yes you were!!" She pouted, lied back down, turned her back, and said very softly. "The next time you get unlocked is April Fools Day. And if you say even one word, I'll make it Memorial Day."

I was silent because I feared that if I said anything about it, she would, indeed, keep me locked up for the next five months. I wept myself to sleep.

Over the next few weeks, My wife Maxine asked me to buy a large vibrating dildo which I would use to try and satisfy her while I was locked away. I brought home one which was about eight inches long, and I thought quite thick, but we tried it and she asked me to get her an even bigger one. "Imagine a cock as large as you yourself have ever wanted. Then, bring me that one."

The one I found was easily twelve inches long, and almost eight inches in circumference. When Maxine unwrapped it, she gave me a big smile. "Wow! Now that's a dildo!" She then made me drop my pants, and she held it next to my own, which was an unfair comparison because mine was locked up, and soft. "Too bad it isn't real, huh. Now, a penis like this would give any woman pleasure. And it never comes too early or gets soft. Doesn't it make you envious?"

We spent the next few weeks trying to work the large dildo into her pussy. At first, she couldn't take it all, but got very excited trying to get it in. "Get me hot for it first," she would implore, and I would use my fingers and my mouth to get her ready. She use every subtle trick to get me as hot as can be, testing my own response. She would hand me the dildo, and I would try to get it in, with Maxine giving me very explicit directions. "Play it around my lips, and over the clit. Tease me with it." But she couldn't get the dildo in all the way.

The last few days before April Fools Day, we finally succeeded.

One day, she laid out a dildo harness on the bed, and I feared that she wanted to sodomize me with it. She laughed. "Does that turn you on also?" She smiled at me in an evil way. "No, I'm not going to fuck your ass with this. Well not now, anyway. But I'll keep that in mind for the future."

What she wanted was for me to strap on the dildo with the harness and fuck her with it. I looked at her quizzically, and she answered. "It's perfect. You provide the movement, and the dildo provides the excitement."

As I positioned myself over her and between her legs, she took hold of the dildo and the back of my neck and pulled me to her. "Now forget that you even have a cock. This is your cock now." She was very excited, and arched up to the dildo, and I moved as if it were my cock. She whispered hotly. "Don't you wish you had a cock like this."

The evening of April Fool's Day finally rolled around, and I said nothing. Maxine came into the bedroom at bedtime, and began taking her clothing off. Again, I could tell she was hot. Finally, she was wearing only a pair of white panties, and as we stood at the side of the bed, she took my hand and guided one of my fingers into her vagina. She never lost contact with my eyes. "I don't know what it is about having your penis locked away like this, but it makes me very, very hot for you. Waiting this long for it excites me too. Wasn't this a great idea?" She asked.

I dare not say to her that at least she has had dozens of orgasms over the last five months, while I've had none. As she stepped out of her panties, I saw her looking at me almost daring me to complain. Her face got soft again and she said "Please make it good this time." We lay down on the bed, and began touching and kissing. She still hadn't unlocked my cock cage. She gave me a deep French kiss which gave me a jolt of hardness, and my cock painfully strained against the cock cage.

"Are you okay?" Maxine asked.

"It just hurts a bit."

Maxine looked at me quizzically. "What hurts?"

Was this a trap? "The cock cage."

Maxine looked at me in a threatening way. "Are you hinting that I should remove it?"

I shook my head and held back the tears. Maxine looked me straight in the eyes, knowing that I was hanging on every word. She held my eyes in a half smile. "Beg me for more denial."

"No. Please, no." I implored in a teary voice.

"Beg me," She insisted.

I paused as she was stroking my cock. "I beg you for more denial."

"You sound so pathetic!" She answered, and removed the key from the chain around her neck. Maxine stared at me and dangled it casually, making my eyes beg. She then slowly unlocked the cock lock.

She took my hand and began to massage my penis with it, but again I had trouble getting fully hard. She was trying hard to stroke me to an erection. "If you leave the cage off for a few days . . . " I begged.

She ignored this and continued directing my own hand. I could feel the incredible heat coming from her body. I could see the moisture between her legs.

"But . . ."

She kept working my hand with hers. "You'll just have to get hard. Concentrate! The lock goes right back on after you come."

I couldn't get a solid erection, and began panicking, and went almost totally soft. She got disgusted, and walked across the room and sat in a chair. She told me to masturbate myself.

When I was done, she looked hurt. "Are you trying to punish me by not getting hard. Is that what's going on deep down inside you? You know who's going to get hurt more?" She tossed me the cock cage, I put it on, and she impatiently crooked her finger for me to come over to her for her to lock it. She didn't say a word about when it would be unlocked next.

We had gotten into a life rhythm which circumvented our new sexual arrangement. Discussion of it almost never spilled over into everyday conversation (certainly not from me because I was petrified that she would think I was hinting for her to release me, and would therefore as punishment, would keep my penis locked up even longer.)

We had never really gotten into dancing or clubbing, but as Maxine was feeling better about herself, losing even more weight and paying much more attention to her looks, when mid- June came, and the school year was ending, she felt that she wanted to start going out more. She explained her new energy: "Since I'm not escaping you in the evenings by falling asleep early to avoid sex, I have a lot more energy at night. Wouldn't it be fun to take advantage of it."

A month later, on my One Year Anniversary in the cock cage, we found a club in the area which sounded nice, got into our disco clothes, and went to "celebrate." (Maxine's words) Never a very flamboyant person, Maxine was getting looks from everywhere. She was wearing a tiny black dress, and she had added glitter to her hair. Contrary to her cheerleader looks, she was wearing heavy makeup, a lot of perfume and very high heels. She completed it all with a fake tattoo of a red spider on the top of her cleavage.

We danced on the disco floor, and as the night wore on, she had more to drink, but strongly suggested that I not drink at all. "You have to drive," she said, "And besides, I know that drinking makes you horny, and that could cause you discomfort."

As we were sitting resting from a dance, I noticed that she was staring wide-eyed and hotly at a tall, good-looking young man with dark hair and mustache across the room. He was the tallest, strongest looking man in the room, and it appeared that he worked at the place as a bouncer. "God, he's gorgeous," Maxine gasped to herself as she sipped her drink. I thought she'd begin to drool as she kept her eyes riveted. "I want to meet him. Invite him over to our table, honey, would you?"

Feeling like a puppy dog, I went over to introduce him, and invite him over. A few minutes later, he came over to the table and introduced himself as Richie, part owner of the club. He bought us a round of drinks, and we talked. He and Maxine got along very well, and soon were practically ignoring me. He caught the eye of two other men, his partners, and soon they also came over and we all began talking.

Richie leaned over and whispered something to one of his friends, and then ordered another round of drinks.

A few minutes later, he and Maxine got up, and stepped away from the table. I thought they were going to dance, but he said that he was just going to show her around the rest of the club. As I was hemmed in by the two other guys at the table, I couldn't easily get up, so I had to just let them go. She blew me a kiss, winked and they were off.

I kept my eye on them for a moment, as he stood near the dance floor and was pointing out the sound system and lighting. She hung on his every word. I tried to keep conversation going with his two partners.

Richie brought Maxine over to introduce her to the D.J., and then to the bartender. I then felt an incredible pang of jealousy, because he was introducing her as if she were his date.

In a few moments, they disappeared into the back, where his offices were. I checked my watch. It was 1:05 a.m.

As the time rolled on, I was getting more uneasy, but as I had begun drinking, I lost track of time, but Tony, the bartender, came by and said that Maxine needed her pocketbook. I said I'd bring it to her, but he just took it and said he would bring it to her. I looked at my watch, it was 2:00 and Maxine wasn't back yet.

When I made a move to get up and go look for her, one of Richie's partners gently pushed me down by the shoulders "Have another drink. She'll be back soon." There was no real menace in his voice, just a reassuring tone that I could do nothing about what was going on anyway, so why kick up a fuss.

At 3:05, she finally appeared with Richie from his office. She was wide eyed and smiling. She was slightly flushed, and they were laughing hysterically about something. When they reached my table, they told me that Richie was going to drive us home. It was all beginning to jumble together because I had had four or five drinks in the last hour to relax.

Walking to Richie's car, Maxine pulled me close and whispered "Don't worry, honey. Everything's fine. It's the first time I ever tried cocaine. Wow!" She then gave me a deep kiss which rocked my socks. "Just wait till we get home."

I was still tipsy, and when Richie's car was brought around, so was ours. I got into the front seat of our car, and a car hop got into my driver's seat. Richie took Maxine hand and led her into the front seat of his car. She looked back as she was being led away, and just smiled. We took off for our house.

I kept my eyes riveted on Richie's car, which drove ahead. Maxine was sitting very close to Richie, and they talked non- stop for the whole ride.

When we reached our house, our cars pulled up in front, and I got out. As I walked over to the car, I could see that Richie was giving Maxine another snort of coke. She let out a happy yell, gave him a hug, and slid out of the front seat. "I'll call you soon," Richie said to Maxine as he started his engine. He waved to me as he pulled away. The car hop gave me our keys, and Maxine and I went inside.

Maxine immediately disappeared upstairs, and I paid the baby sitter, who left.

After I cleaned up a few things in the kitchen, and locked up the house, I went upstairs to check our daughter, and then went to our bedroom. Maxine had put on some music, and sat in the middle of the bed, naked, except for her high heels and nylon stockings, which she had rolled down to mid-thigh. Twirling the key to my cock cage by its string, she winked and said "Surprise!! Happy Anniversary honey." She said. She pulled me down next to her in the bed, and began to unlock my cage. "God am I ever hot from tonight. Didn't you have a great time? That club is terrific! I can't believe what this coke does to me."

She took off my cock cage, and began to massage me, and kiss me hungrily at the same time. "Everything was exciting. All the attention from everyone. I felt bad knowing you were all locked up under your clothes. Well, a little bad, and a little excited." Maxine giggled and looked at me apologetically.

"I was really worried. I didn't know why you were so long. That Richie really seemed to like you." I said.

"Were you jealous?"

"A little. But mostly worried. I was wondering if you could handle any problems that might have come up.

Maxine moved down and began kissing my balls, "You know me better than that. I'm a big girl. I can handle myself. Now just lie back and enjoy this."

Maxine was giving me what was her best blow job. She still found oral sex distasteful, but her own excitement now made up for it.

As I was enjoying the oral massage, I asked her if she had had any problems with Richie. She shifted around, and was facing me. Her expression suddenly changed. "It's not important." She said, between sucks.

Had Richie made a pass? Maxine's expression seemed to say that she wanted me to ask her more.

"Maxine, tell me what happened."

"Now don't go all angry with Richie. I really handled it very gracefully. We were standing around, he was showing me his martial arts trophies, and all. And,--I don't even know why I'm telling you this, it doesn't really matter, but -- well, we had some of the coke, he gave me a hug and suddenly reached under my dress."

I looked at her, and she was waiting to see what my expression was. She went back to sucking for a moment, then spoke again. "Don't worry. I didn't let him. I almost did. I mean we hugged a little, and I let him kiss me and all, but I stopped him right there."

I felt angry at Richie for making a pass at Maxine. In spite of it all, I was getting excited. I guess the thought of another man lusting after my wife was very stimulating to me.

She popped my penis out of her mouth, and looked at me again. "I mean, can you imagine how I would have reacted with the size of his cock and all. I was really apprehensive."

I jerked. "How do you know how big he was?"

Maxine looked at me, annoyed at my angry tone. "Well couldn't you just tell how big his cock was? You saw the size of his hands. And his feet. They're always an indication." She winked at me and started sucking me again. I was getting hard. It had been two and a half months since I was locked up, and my cock was beginning to feel like the old days. But I was still concerned. Was Maxine telling me everything? How hard did he push after he got her high on the coke? "So you're just guessing about the size of his cock then?" I asked.

Maxine sat bolt upright. "Are you going to ruin this for us. We haven't had a real fuck in almost a year. This is the best evening I've had probably since we've been married. What's the big deal?" Maxine slid back down, and grabbed my cock again. "I know about the size of his cock because he took it out of his pants. That's how." She went back to sucking.

"And then what," I asked.

She stopped sucking me, but continued her stroking as she looked up at me. "What do you THINK happened then? I mean he was our host. He paid for our drinks. He introduced us around a wonderful, exciting place. He gave me some very expensive cocaine." She stopped her stroking and looked me dead in the eye. "And he had the biggest cock I've ever seen. Now will you concentrate on getting hard!" Maxine stroked my penis again, but it was softening. She made a disgusted sound, and shifted in the bed, and went back to her sucking, in earnest. As she was still wearing her nylons, and I saw that the knees of the stockings were dirty and ripped.

"Well," I prompted her.

"You never give up, do you?" She stopped sucking again for a moment, but kept up the stimulation with her hand. "I had to do SOMETHING for him. I mean if he was as hot as I was, I just COULDN'T leave him turned on like that, could I? How would you have felt if I had done that to you??"

I looked at her ripped knees, and her eyes followed mine. She gave me a sly smile, and started stroking again, but my penis was getting softer, so she started sucking. I was never so hurt in my life, and emotionally, I was not in the mood, but her hot hands and mouth got me going again. No. The power wasn't in her mouth or her hands. She was giving me what her incredible instincts told her I deserved. And needed. She knew it and was subtly torturing me with it. She looked at me and we both knew she had reached a deep nerve in me, and that she was twisting it viciously. Reveling in my degradation, she gave me a half smile and squeezed my cock. "Does that answer your question, sweetheart?" Her statement was a dare. 'Ask me more, and I'll twist the knife deeper.'

"So, you got down on your knees and gave him a 'thank you' blow job."

"Not exactly . . ." Maxine laughed at my phrasing. "That would have satisfied him and all, but the truth is, his cock was so thick, I couldn't get as much of it into my mouth as he wanted me to."

"So you jerked him off?" I asked, hoping that was the answer.

She snickered. "Would that have satisfied any real man?" She began flicking her tongue over the head of my cock.

"Maxine, what did you 'exactly' do?" I was furious and hurt at the same time.

She was both angry and amused now. "Will you forget about Richie, and make love to me!?! I saved my pussy for you. For us. You want to fuck, don't you? Or do you want to just jerk off and have me sit on your face instead? " It was meant to be rhetorical, but came out like a mocking threat.

"Maxine, what did you do."

My cock was betraying me, as she sucked some more, and got me very hard. She began stroking me very hard. "I don't understand why you want to hear all of this. Is this humiliation exciting you?? Is this degradation part of what you need? Do you want to fuck or not? Because I'm very, very hot, but if you keep up with the questions, I'll just lock . . . "

"Please don't. I beg you. But just tell me."

"Okay. If you really want to hear, I'll tell you." She sat up, got next to me facing me closely, and looked me squarely in the eye. "I couldn't suck him off because of his size, and I was saving my pussy for you, so we decided to go over to his couch, he bent me over the edge, and tried to sodomize me. But I stopped him!"

She looked at me, seemingly awaiting an apology for my ever thinking that she would let someone do that to her. She began stroking me again, and she hugged and kissed me. She began explaining between kisses to my ear and neck.

"I mean he tried sticking it in my ass, but he was worried that we were taking too long and that you would come bursting in. But I handled the situation. I told him how you loved me, and wouldn't want me to have any pain, so he should take all the time he needed. Well we had no lubrication, so I tried getting him wet with my mouth, but it wasn't wet enough. Neither was my pussy."

I was shaken. "You said you were 'saving your vagina for me!'"

"Don't be so angry. Richie didn't go in. Not all the way in. I wouldn't let him. He just poked around the edge, and dipped in for some lubrication for my asshole. He was too big to go all the way in, and anyway I told him you'd be furious, so we decided not to. Well, we still had no lubrication for my ass, but I remembered the small jar of Vaseline I had put in my pocketbook before we left tonight. So I asked Tony to go get it for me."

My cock totally withered. "Tony? The bartender? He was in the room all the time?"

"What are you getting so excited about. I mentioned he was there, didn't I??. He was the one who brought the coke in." She felt my wilting penis, and got angry. "Are you in the mood or not? I'm very hot." She reached into her night table drawer and got out her vibrating dildo. "I need either this thing, or your cock in me very soon, or my mood will be broken. But you insist on hearing this stuff." By now, I had to hear what finally happened.

She got on her back, and I got between her legs. Her pussy was sopping wet. Even half erect, I slid right in. "Are you in yet? I don't feel you." Maxine asked.

We started fucking, and it was good, but after two minutes or so, suddenly, she said "Stop! Go get your bag of s&m toys." I was disappointed that she wanted to do s&m right now. Despite my raging jealousy (or maybe because of it) we were having our best lovemaking session ever.

I brought back the sack of equipment opened it up, and emptied it on the bed. Maxine must have read the expression on my face. "Will you stop looking so worried. I'm picking out something for me." She picked out a large dildo and handed it to me. "Wet it for me, would you honey?" I began licking and salivating on the dildo.

She pushed me on my back, got on her hands and knees and saw that I was getting soft. She reached over and picked out one of the medium-sized butt plugs which she had used on me in the past. She motioned for me to get the tube of KY-Jelly from my night table. I began to lubricate her dildo, but she stopped me, "I've got enough lubrication back there already. This one is for you, to help keep you hard." She lubricated the butt plug, and motioned for me to raise my legs. She massaged my cock for a moment and then pushed the plug right into me, and I yelped. She apologized.

She then straddled me, put me in her vagina, and asked me to push the greased dildo into her ass. "You don't have to get me ready back there. Just push." I pushed and she exploded. "More. In. And. Out. In. And. Out." She was in a trance, and fucking hard and slow.

I was close to coming, when she slowed down, and lifted her hips up, letting me slip out. "I don't want you to come in me."

I was crushed. I was so hot, and ready to come. "Why?"

She sweetly touched my face. "I'm thinking of you, honey. It would be too frustrating for you to have such a hot orgasm, and then get your cock locked up again. I don't know when you'll come again, and the frustration might be too much for you." She climbed off me, staying on her knees. She saw I was disappointed, and shrugged. "I also need something bigger in me anyway." And she reached for her big vibrating dildo. "Here, use this."

With my wife on her hands and knees, I put the smaller dildo back in her ass, and the big one in her vagina. Over the next hour, I worked them exquisitely in and out of her, driving her to orgasm after orgasm, finally to her one giant one, shortly before dawn.

As she was having her cigarette, and calming down, she took my hand. "I have a confession to make. When I said that I was saving my pussy for you tonight, I kind of fibbed. I'm sorry. What I should have said was I was saving pussy for you. While Richie was sodomizing me, Tony made me a bet that I could take both of them in a sandwich, one in my behind, one in my vagina. I told them I didn't want to, but that I would suck him off instead. You know, as you said, as a thank you suck for the coke, and just to get out of there safely. I sucked him for a while, but they really wanted to 'double fuck' me, as they called it. I mean I really had no choice, sweetheart, so I climbed up on Tony's cock while Richie was fucking me in the ass. You're not upset, are you honey?"

Maxine stubbed out her cigarette, and rolled over to straddle my face. I could see the smeared jelly and traces of shit around her crack. "I'm also sorry if I hurt you when I said I needed something bigger in my pussy tonight, but Tony was quite big, and he stretched me so much I just couldn't feel yours while we were doing it. I was getting very frustrated. You understand, don't you?"

She lowered her ass onto my face, and she put my own hand on my cock. "This kind of orgasm is okay for you. Isn't it?" I began to stroke it, and in a moment, I came explosively.

Without even getting off my face, she reached over for the cock cage, and started putting it on me. As she was adjusting it, and sitting on my face, she said "Would you mind cleaning me there with your tongue. It feels so good." She began to use my mouth as toilet tissue. As she clicked the lock shut, I felt her heat building, and I knew she wanted another orgasm.

She came again, a mild one this time, and by then it was early morning. She climbed off me, threw me my robe, and put hers on. As she was about to leave, she remembered something, and turned back to me to tell me.

"I forgot to tell you. Richie invited us to a party next week at his place. Actually he only invited me, but I told him I wanted you there as well. Is it okay, sweetheart?"

She looked at me innocently. Did she know what a humiliation she was asking of me? What if I said no? I had yet to really defy her since we had give her her new power. How many months would Maxine keep me locked away if she got angry enough. I could only console myself with the fact that if things got too bad, I could just cut the cock cage off. But something other than leather and a tiny lock was holding it on me. I was both drawn, and curious on how far she would bring things.

"Yes. We can go." I said. She threw me a kiss, and walked out the door to the bathroom.

Denial Ch. 03

by Conquered©

Over the next week, things went along as usual with Maxine cleaning out her desk at the public school, and marking report cards. My business normally slowed down slightly during the summer, so we each had time to spare during the summer months to go bike riding and such.

For the whole week after the night at the disco, Maxine expressed remorse over getting so carried away, and for allowing herself to be seduced. But when I suggested that we not go to Richie's party, she said that if we didn't show our faces, we would be admitting she did something wrong. And besides, she said that Richie had a lot of money, and perhaps he would want to invest some through my firm. "He would be your largest client if you got him, you know. It's worth being nice to him."

Unlike the disco, Maxine was very demurely dressed for this party. She wore a loose white dress, which showed off her tan. But as I hugged her before we left, I discovered that she was braless, and had no panties on under her dress either. I got a rush of panic, wondering why she had done this. "It's a hot night, sweetheart. That's all. It's 1983. Underwear isn't essential anymore. Get with it!" She kissed me on the cheek, and we were off.

Richie had a sprawling house on the beach, with a large pool nearby. The music was very loud. There must have been three or four dozen men and women spread throughout the house or the beach.

Richie greeted us almost formally, and I was pleased to find that Maxine was sticking close to me. We got some drinks, and began to mingle.

As the evening wore on, and we were having more to drink, some of Richie's friends came over to me and began asking about investing. Maxine whispered to me, "You see! Aren't you glad we came?" In a few minutes, I looked, and Richie was introducing Maxine to three women. They were very expensively, but cheaply dressed. The contrast between them and my wife (whom I still pictured as innocent looking) was striking.

The men were becoming interested in how I could take the cash proceeds from one of the businesses they were in with Richie, and invest it soundly. Just then, Maxine came over and said softly to me, "Can Richie show me the rest of the house without you going crazy?" She said it just loud enough for the nearby guests to hear.

But I went crazy. Not out loud, just inside. Again, I had no choice but to say yes. She looked at me for a reply and when I nodded, she kissed me on the cheek. "Be back soon." My watch said 10:45.

After talking with the men for a while, I broke off, with much resistance from them, and went to look for Maxine. It was 11:30. I don't know what I'd do if I found them, but I would look.

Upstairs, the den door was closed, and I heard giggling from behind the door. It sounded like Maxine. I opened it, and Richie was sitting behind a desk, and Maxine and three other women were in front of the desk, seated, passing around a coke kit. Maxine looked high again. She called to me happily to come in and have some coke, but I didn't want to. "More for us," someone said. Everyone laughed.

She excused herself from them for a moment, took my arm and ushered me out of the den. "Were you checking up on me?" She said very calmly.

"No. . . I mean, yes." I said and looked at her squarely.

"Well are you satisfied that nothing was going on. Now will you stop being so paranoid!"

"Are you coming down?" I asked.

"Soon! Richie said he had something important to talk to me about. He said he didn't want me to feel left out of all the business dealings. Honey, these people have money to invest. Richie says that they are very anxious to invest with you. This could be a big break for us financially. Now get to work." And she playfully tapped me on the ass.

"I don't trust him." I said.

"Well you'll have to. He's a friend, not an enemy. He could be a good friend too, if you'd let him." She gave me a big hug. "See you later. And RELAX!"

I went downstairs, and mingled until about 12:30. Then, I began to go nuts with jealousy again, so I went upstairs, and went near the door. There was talking going on. I heard one of the three women who were in there before.

"I can't believe any woman would have trouble doing this. But I guess when you do it for a living, you get used all the different sizes, shapes . . . "

"And tastes!" piped in another woman's voice.

I looked through the crack in the double den doors, and could see one of the women, a redhead, seated on her knees next to Richie. His pants were around his ankles, and she was stroking his penis. Then I heard Maxine, but I couldn't see her. She was talking very animated.

"You wouldn't believe last week. I just couldn't get him into my mouth. Remember, Richie." I saw Richie wink in Maxine's direction.

"Watch me," said Redhead. As I watched through the door, she licked his cock till it was wet, and began working it into more deeply into her mouth. She stroked up and down slowly, then popped it out. "Another trick which gets them every time is you stay dressed, then the guy has to concentrate on your mouth, and look at your face. This can turn a good blowjob into a great one." She sucked on the head for a moment. "By the way, was Richie's cock wet enough, when you did him, Maxine."

"I thought so, but I guess not." Maxine answered.

"How about your husband? Can you take him deep." another woman asked.

"If I wanted to. But he's nowhere near Richie's size." Maxine answered.

"A Teeny Weeny, huh?" another woman cracked, and everyone laughed, sharing in my humiliation while my wife was getting pointers in fellatio.

The Redhead started sucking Richie again. "Why don't you get your husband up here, and you can do him while I walk you through it step by step. He'll love you for it, Maxine."

I got hard just thinking about Maxine learning how to give a good blow job, with me as the subject. But I realized that she probably hadn't brought the key to my cock cage. As I was thinking about this, Maxine started to speak. "He'd probably love it. But not tonight."

Richie then snapped his fingers. "I've got an even better idea." And he stood up, and walked toward the double doors, in front of which I was standing. I ducked into an adjoining room, and Richie came through the doors, walked to the stairs, and called to someone to come upstairs. In a moment he went back into the den, and a few steps behind him was a short, powerfully built black man. The door slammed, and I stepped back to the crack.

All of the girls were flocking around the black man, exchanging hugs and kisses. "Hi, Pump." They all greeted him. Richie turned in my wife's direction.

"Maxine, this is Pump. Pump, this is Maxine."

There was uncomfortable laughter, as Maxine moved into view to shake his hand. Pump was looking her up and down, smiling. "All right!"

Maxine smiled. Pump was still holding her hand. "She's prime stuff, my man."

"Carla here was trying to show Maxine how to suck like a pro." Richie said.

Carla, the redhead replied. "We're gonna help you give your husband -- or any other guy you know -- the best gift ever."

"Where is he, anyway?" Pump asked.

Maxine said. "Waiting downstairs for me."

"Come on. Why don't you get him up here." Carla asked.

Maxine shook her head, "No." There was a short pause while Maxine almost shyly and slowly, turned to Pump and smiled. "It's him I want now."

Everyone applauded and Pump pulled Maxine closer for a quick hug. "Well, Hot Stuff, I'm all yours."

Carla asked Maxine, "Your man has been down there alone about two hours. How long will he wait?"

Maxine turned to her, and very casually said, "He knows he has to be patient." There were giggles.

Then things got quiet, as Maxine melted right into Pump's arms. He gave her a big, open kiss, and her face turned pink right away, and she kissed him back hungrily. In a moment, someone threw a pillow on the floor, and Pump was pushing my wife to her knees, she shifted just out of my view. Carla kneeled next to her, and I could only see Pump and Carla, not Maxine. Carla began a narrative.

"OK Maxine, use two hands first . . . That's it. One on the balls, one on his cock. Stroke it a bit. Slower. . . Now, lick up and down the shaft. . . Good. Stroke as you do it. . . Listen to his body. . . When he moves, you stay still . . . Now, take just the head in your mouth, get it soaking wet and work it in and out of your lips while applying pressure to the shaft . . ."

I suddenly heard another person coming up the stairs, and I turned around as if I were looking for the bathroom. It was a woman, and we ran into each other. I turned and went back downstairs to get a drink.

I sat on the couch downstairs thinking. What was I expecting? When I allowed Maxine to lock my manhood away, wasn't I telling her, subconsciously, that I was no longer there to be a man for her. But her sexual desire woke up about the same time as I allowed myself to be locked away. If Maxine had had a normal desire all along, we never would have had any problems. But would her desire go away again if I stopped wearing the cock cage. I didn't care, because watching her satisfy herself with other men was also no sex life for me. I was prepared to tell her that it wasn't working and demand that we end this lopsided situation, but I knew I wouldn't for a while. I obviously was just as curious to see how it would turn out.

I looked at my watch, and it was 2:00 a.m. A few minutes later, everyone came out of the room smiling. Richie and Pump came down first, and greeted me. Maxine had recombed her hair, and was applying fresh makeup as she talked to the other two women. She came toward the couch where I was sitting, gave me a wink, and sat on my lap, squirming on my cock as she settled in. She had slight white powder on her nose, and I wiped it off. She gave me a big kiss, and realized that I was in pain. "Sorry, honey." She hugged me.

Richie and his housekeeper came back in a few moments, and they were carrying arms full of towels. Maxine laughed. "Richie has a heated pool. Everyone's going skinny dipping." Maxine got up and took two towels. Suddenly, she remembered. She leaned close and whispered. "I wish you could join us, but we wouldn't want anyone to see your cock cage." She kissed me sympathetically on the cheek. "Damn. I should have brought the key. I'll make it up to you. I have a surprise gift for you when we get home."

I knew she was talking about the new oral technique she learned, and I got another pang of jealousy. But she would probably be furious if she knew I was spying on her. "Honey, could you hold my purse while I swim. Please unbutton me."

I was standing there unbuttoning my wife, so she could go skinny dipping with two men with whom she had already cheated on me. I began to doubt my sanity.

In the pool, everyone frolicked nude and Maxine was very popular, as she was one of the few women still there. Richie and Pump were grabbing her and throwing her into the water every chance they could get. She was screaming with joy. One or the other of the half-dozen men would dive under the water, and come up with his head between Maxine's legs. She would laugh, and push them away playfully.

While she was busy, I decided to look in her pocketbook for some gum, and the first thing I saw right at the top was a large round keyring with the key to the cock-cage attached. She could have unlocked me the whole time, but, I guess, decided against it. I watched her frolic with bitterness. I dozed off from a combination of depression, alcohol and exhaustion.

When I woke up at about 4:00 a.m., things were very quiet. Richie, Pump, Carla and Maxine were sitting in beach chairs with two other women having cigarettes and quietly talking around the pool. They hadn't bothered getting dressed. I stood up, and walked over to them.

"Hi honey!" Maxine greeted me, and took my hand.

"Hey stick-in-the-mud," Carla said. "What's this about you being afraid of the water."

I looked at Maxine, who shrugged. "I had to tell them. They were going to rip your clothes off and throw you in." Everyone laughed, and Maxine looked at me apologetically.

I could tell that I was interrupting some discussion, so I said that I would get Maxine's clothes and we'd go. She got dressed, we bid our goodbyes, and we were off.

In the car going home, she couldn't stop talking about Richie, Carla and the other people she met. Just little things, centering on the exciting, rich lives they led.

We got home, and she first disappeared up the stairs, telling me to join her in two minutes. She took her pocketbook with her. She then called me from downstairs to come into the bedroom. "Time for your gift," she said, as I saw her sitting on the edge of our bed.

Once in the bedroom, she went into her night table and went through the charade of taking the key out of the drawer. "You're going to come two weeks in a row." Her face took on a mock-haughty expression. "Hope you appreciate this."

I watched as she was sat on the edge of the bed, just about to open the cock cage, and she suddenly frowned.

"Have you been naughty?" She asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked in return.

"Well, when I'm out of the house, have you been taking the key from here and unlocking your cage, and masturbating." She had a smile which challenged me. I was afraid that she wouldn't unlock me. In spite of myself, I sounded like I was pleading.

"No, Maxine. Really. I didn't"

She just glared at me questioningly for a long moment. She was deliberately teasing me. She finally smiled, swinging the key on the string.

"Are you sure you weren't a bad boy."

I looked at her angrily. She stopped smiling. "You know our agreement. Now if you did break it, . . . "

"I didn't. I swear." Then I whimpered, "Please,"

She looked at me considering for a moment, then got up and went to her jewelry box. She got a long gold neckchain and detached the key from the ring and put the key through it, she then put the key around her neck. She pointed at me. "It'll stay here, just to make sure you stay a good little boy. Now get undressed." When I was naked, Maxine slid down and unlocked my cage.

Still dressed, Maxine let the dress ride up her thighs. "You were very good, and patient tonight, darling. I have a special surprise for you. Just lie back and enjoy." And, just as I expected, my wife began to demonstrate the very professional fellatio technique which she learned earlier that evening from Carla, and had perfected on Pump. She again seemed to be experimenting, changing and trying new twists, asking me frequently how it felt.

She kept at it a long time, and soon shifted where I could see her face. She looked directly into my eyes, and I realized that this is the kind of sexual desire I always wanted Maxine to have. The irony of life is that I was not the recipient of the desire. She was not going down on me, but using me as a learning tool again, perfecting her technique for other men.

She paused for a moment, and dreamily looked up. "Remember when you would beg me to do this?" She slowly gobbled more and more of my penis until my pubic hair was touching her nose. She held it for a few moments, then slowly slid it out of her throat, and took a deep breathe. She looked at me and smiled, then licked the head of my cock.

If only the reality of Maxine going down on Pump, and last week Tony and Richie weren't poisoning this event. I didn't want to say anything, but my thoughts of being deprived all of these years, and her cheating on my now, betrayed me and my cock went slightly soft. She looked up at me astonished. "Doesn't this feel good? Why are you softening up."

I slid away for a moment. "I saw you. You and Pump."

She quickly propped herself on one elbow. "You were spying?"

"You were going down on him."

Maxine shook her head in disbelief. "You were spying on me!! You are really something. You know how I used to hate doing this. For 10 years, you begged for it, now, I give you a special gift, and you RUIN IT!"

"You were giving a strange man a blowjob."

"Who am I sucking right now?!? WELL, you idiot! You're my husband, and I'm giving you a wonderful gift, and you're ruining it."

"But you were sucking a strange man tonight." I implored.

She screamed. "Carla offered to teach me. I thought you'd love it."

"I also heard her say that you should call me up to learn on." She didn't know I had heard that, and I thought I had her right there. But I was wrong. Maxine just moved closer, and said directly, almost with tears in her eyes.

"But I was doing it all for you! I wanted to surprise you. I thought that I would knock your socks off with the new technique. How else was I supposed to learn how to really suck a man off." She wiped her tears, and I was caught again.

"And besides," she continued. "I needed a man who's cock wasn't as small as yours, so it would be all the better when I finally did it for you." Maxine looked down at my cock and squeezed. "Wasted. It was all a wasted gift." She said, as she moved away, sounding very bitter.

She sat up and lit a cigarette, and stared at me until I turned away. I didn't know what she was thinking, but knew that I was being intimidated into thinking that tonight's scene was all for me, and that ruining it was all my fault. I even questioned whether that could be true, or not. I turned back, and she was still staring coldly. "I want to try something."

She stubbed out her cigarette, and got up to go to the bathroom. She was gone a few minutes, and when she came back, she motioned for me to roll over on my back. Still angry, and very cold looking, she poised herself over my face, and looked down at me. "Familiar territory, honey?" And Maxine's face began to disappear, as she lowered her ass onto my nose and mouth. Immediately, I smelled a slight difference. She had made a bowel movement, and didn't wipe. She was very dirty back there, and I tried to pull away. Maxine used her strength to hold me in place, and spoke firmly. "Hold still!" She put her hand on my penis. "I want you to clean me back there. Lick me clean." She leaned forward, and continued her blowjob.

In spite of the dirt, I did try to clean her. And her mouth on my penis was proving too much stimulation. She pulled away for a moment, teasing me by not letting me come. "Finish cleaning me first," she responded to my bucking hips.

When I had tongue-swabbed her ass clean, she went back down on me, and brought me to the brink. She paused, and as I looked up, her anus seemed to be straining. "Keep still," and she began to suck again, trying to bring me off.

Suddenly, just at the moment before my climax she paused, and let out a stream of gas that almost made me throw up. As I came, she shifted my hand to my penis. Again, I would provide my own stimulation. "I knew it!" she yelled as I was coming, and she ground her asshole into my mouth.

She leaped off me and sat back with folded arms. "I knew it! You can't come unless you're smelling the shit from my ass. I learn how to give a blow job like a professional, I offer you my pussy on a platter last time, and what turns you on? I can't believe this!"

Her eyes held mine and she saw that I was totally beaten. She just stared at me, imposing a cruel logic which she had engineered. But it was SHE who had been unfaithful to me, and who conditioned me to masturbation while she sat on my face.

Maxine's eyes held mine angrily as she lit a cigarette. "We have to do something. I've tried everything. But all of my efforts to reintroduce conventional sex into our relationship just hasn't worked, and I'm very upset, and very hurt. It seems that you just don't want positive validation." She drew on the smoke, and looked directly at me. "I'm beginning to think you're right about therapy. I think together we should see someone. I've heard about a good counselor who may be able to help both of us with these feelings of sexual frustration and resentment that are building up."

After a moment, she looked at me with hurt and anger. "You wouldn't be too upset if I wanted to sleep alone tonight, would you?"

It would be the first night we ever slept apart under the same roof.

Maxine just sat up in bed with her arms folded, covered to her waist by a sheet. She stared at me and let me know that I had never disappointed her as much as now.

I took my pillow, and a sheet, left our bedroom and was about to enter the guest room. Maxine called out to me. "I'd rather you sleep in the basement." I was in shock. Maxine was banishing me to the dampest, dirtiest part of our house. There was only an old cot down there.

I went back into our room before I went down. "Why the basement?"

"If you're up here, we'll be too tempted to argue. Don't be so defensive." Maxine answered. "It's a warm night, and it's probably cooler down there anyway. Which reminds me, can you turn on our air conditioning" She stared at me as I walked to turn on the machine which would keep her nice and cool all night, while I lay sweating in the cellar. "Come here. I almost forgot."

I walked to her, and she stubbed out her cigarette and reached over for the cock cage. She put it on me, and clicked the lock shut.

As I turned to go downstairs, nude with a cock cage, and a sheet and pillow, she reached into her night table and took out her huge, vibrating dildo. She switched on some disco music, and began to slide down on the bed. "Close the door on your way out. And please don't come up here again tonight." As I walked out the door, I looked back once more, and she was staring at me, with her legs spread. She flicked on the vibrator, and brought it to her sex.

Why couldn't she have waited until I was out of the room? Because she knew that it would crush me, that was why.

What ELSE did I expect?

To Be Continued...

Denial Ch. 04

by Conquered©

There was a tension in the house for the next few days, and I continued to sleep in the basement. The second day, while I was out on a business appointment, Maxine, who was home on summer vacation, moved a small TV set, and some of my toiletries and clothing down to the basement. When I came home, and noticed this, I went up to the kitchen to confront her about it. She was talking to someone, and laughing conspiratorially.

"Who's that?" I asked.

Maxine covered the mouthpiece and glared at me. "A friend. What do you want?"

"What's with the TV and clothes in the basement?"

Maxine said into the phone, "I'll call you back. Are you at the club . . . OK, bye."

Who was she talking to, and at what "club?"

"I really need some time alone to think, until we see the therapist later this week. Is it really so terrible down there for another few nights." She touched my hand. The first sign of affection in two days.

I shrugged. The day after our argument, she told me that she had gotten the name of a good counselor who would see us both and try to help us with our problem. I asked about credentials and degrees, but Maxine didn't know.

That evening, we had dinner, and after I did the dishes, Maxine went upstairs to change. When she came down, she was wearing my favorite negligee, and perfume. She kissed me goodnight and started upstairs. "Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow."

I stayed in the downstairs living room for a while, and then went down to the basement to try to sleep. This was the most frustrated I had ever been, knowing that Maxine was upstairs looking so enticing, and I was two floors away.

The next morning was our appointment with the therapist, Dr. Gruen, who was a 20-minute drive across town. Maxine and I practically said nothing during the whole trip.

Dr. Gruen's office was a large apartment, with a study set aside as an office. We rang the bell, and a woman answered. I told her we were there to see Dr. Gruen, and she said, "I'm Dr. Gruen." She was about 60, tall very thin. She had piercing blue eyes, and her white hair was pulled back handsomely.

We came in to sit down, had coffee, and made small talk for a few minutes. Then she asked each of us to just tell her why we were there. She asked that Maxine start, and she did.

From Maxine's prospective, she admitted that for years, she had had trouble responding to me sexually, and that she avoided it whenever possible. She told of our shift to s&m and the eventual adding of my cock cage as a way to restrict my masturbation, and give her a sense of control. But she slanted the version of what had happened in the last few weeks. She said that I was being paranoid about "our" new friends. Maxine said that I wasn't responding to conventional sex anymore, while her appetite was increasing, and that she needed much more than I was providing. She said that I seemed to only respond to "certain scents" during the sex act now. Dr. Gruen glanced to me for a moment, then just listened patiently.

I then told Dr. Gruen my side of it. At intervals during my story, she turned to Maxine and shook her head.

"And what do you think Maxine's motives are for getting together with this Richie and his friends."

I looked at Maxine and said to the doctor, "I don't know. But I've already caught her making love"

Dr. Gruen looked at Maxine reproachingly. Maxine stared at me hurt.

"And what are these smells that you find so appealing," Dr. Gruen asked me.

I stammered for a moment, and then explained. "If I can say, it's the smells from Maxine's, uh, her . . . "

"Vagina?" asked Dr. Gruen, patiently.

I glanced at Maxine, who had a challenging look on her face. I continued to stammer.

"Her anus?" Dr. Gruen prompted, and I shook my head. "How did this come about."

I then explained how this was the only accompaniment to sexual relief which Maxine has allowed me for the last year.

"So, Maxine, you have cultivated your husband's fixation." Maxine just stared at Dr. Gruen.

Dr. Gruen sat back and clasped her hands. "Maxine, your husband certainly has a lot of pain, which must be addressed if your relationship is to survive. I'm very surprised at the way in which you've responded to his needs. You have a very special husband, and he should be treated as such. I think you will need separate counseling, and then later, you both should join a therapy group with other couples who have similar problems."

Maxine was being reproached, but on what basis, I couldn't figure out.

"And you," she now turned to me. "Your wife needs as much help as you. I'll be assigning Maxine some special sensitivity exercises for you both to do. One per evening. She and I will talk about them now, alone."

She asked Maxine to stay for a separate session to discuss some of the exercises. Maxine asked me to pick her up in an hour.

When I returned, Maxine was sitting in the doctor's office, laughing and both were having a smoke. Dr. Gruen wanted to see me for a few minutes alone, so Maxine left.

"Many of the sensitivity exercises I have given Maxine to do, are sexual and involve some discipline. Please be patient with her, but you must record your real response to these exercises in this journal. It will help in her treatment. Bring the journal with you next time. Your answers must be stream of consciousness, and portray your real feelings. Don't worry about their content. It's the honesty that I'm looking for between you and your wife. As you work in the house, you each need some time apart. Perhaps your wife can get a job for the summer." She held my hand for a moment. "And above all, try to relax. We'll try and solve the problem, so you can have a more stable marriage."

As Dr. Gruen was walking me to her door, she stopped. "Oh, and that cock cage? I recommend that it stay on for this first round of exercises. Eventually, we will have Maxine take it off you and throw it away. But for now, it's her progress which I'm concerned about, and she'll feel more secure with it on you, so let's keep it on for a while longer, okay?"

All of my fears were set aside. This was a woman doctor who also saw that Maxine needed to change. Dr. Gruen was not going to gang up with my wife on me, which I was afraid of. She recognized that the problem was Maxine's and that she would have to give her most of the attention.

The first night, Maxine came down to the basement in her negligee, and said that she wanted me to sleep in our room again. I said yes, and she said Dr. Gruen's first exercise required that I had to beg her to do so, to show her that I really wanted to.

In the name of going along with Maxine's treatment, I started to beg.

"On your knees," Maxine interrupted me.

I got on my knees. "The exercise is that you're not to look at me, but you're to put my big toe into your mouth right after you beg me." she said very matter of factly, and slipped out of her high-heeled mule. She stared down at me coldly.

I begged her, and she just pointed to her toe. I lowered myself down on the ground, opened my mouth wide and she placed her big toe into my mouth. "Keep it there," Maxine said softly. She moved the toe more deeply into my mouth, and kept it there for a minute or so. She then slowly took it out, and told me I had permission to sleep in the bedroom. We slept holding each other that night. It was Friday.

My feelings were complex. I imagine that Dr. Gruen was giving Maxine an opportunity to get much of the negative feelings out of her system. To cleanse herself, as such. As Dr. Gruen said, I would have to be patient, and understand that it was all being done in the interest of achieving a balance in our marriage. I played along with Maxine, prepared myself for a rough week, and for the rest of the week, would put my impressions down in the journal. I wondered what Maxine's impressions of these incidents would be.

The next night, Saturday, when I finished the dishes and went into our bedroom, my bag of s&m toys was on the bed. Maxine was sitting at the edge of the bed, with her legs crossed, dressed in my favorite neglegee again. "Come here," Maxine said to me when I entered the room, and crooked her finger at me. I went to her, and she motioned for me to turn around. When I did, she pulled my hands behind me, and with wrist cuffs she had taken from the bag, she bound my hands. She then turned me around facing her again.

She had me kneel beside the bed. She reached for and untangled the nipple clamps from the pile of toys. She opened them wide, and began putting them on me, tightening them to the next to last notch, and gave a sharp tug to see that they wouldn't come off. She then pulled me up onto my feet and over her onto my side of the bed, easing me down onto my side. Facing away from her, I felt her shift and heard her negligee open to expose her breasts, and this was confirmed when she cuddled closely to me.

Her breasts and hot breathe drove me wild. She began to softly explain. "This is how the exercise says we should sleep tonight. Dr. Gruen says that I should get in touch with our anger, and learn how to respond appropriately. In this "Question Sensitivity Exercise," everytime you 'push one of my buttons,' and make me angry, I have to yank on the clamps. The angrier you make me, the harder I yank. If you've really gone too far, the exercise says I can close them to their tightest to let you know. It also says we should talk about topics which especially disturb us, with no other distractions, and that to avoid misunderstandings, we should use a tape recorder."

Maxine turned out the lights, flipped on the tape recorder she had placed on my night table, and we sat for a moment. The only sound in the room was the slight whir of the tape recorder, our breathing, and the occasional rattle of the clamp's metal chain as one of us shifted in the bed. The whole situation was also stimulating me beneath my cock cage, as Maxine was massaging my back with her breasts. All of the questions would be Maxine's, she said, as Dr. Gruen was trying to center on her response. "Don't worry, honey. Tomorrow night's exercise deals with YOUR questions. Ready?" Maxine asked, snuggling closer.

"Yes." I answered.

"Okay. And you have to be truthful. If you're evasive, I'm allowed to express my anger. Here goes: Do you love me?"

"Yes," I replied, surprised at how vulnerable and insecure Maxine seemed.

"Do you trust me?"

I thought for a moment before answering. "Yes, but I don't know whether you realize that you're hurting me."

"How am I hurting you?" She asked ironically, clutching onto a chain spanning my chest which could cause great pain if she pulled it.

"You hurt me by making love to Richie and Tom . . . "

Suddenly, like a bell ringing, Maxine yanked hard on the clamps.

I then heard her voice through the haze of my pain. "I KNOW all that! I had no choice. I was in a situation where I was obliged to follow through. I thought you understood that!!"

I was recovering from the pain, and her voice softened. "Do you understand THAT?"

"Yes."

There was a pause, as she settled in comfortably again.

"Do you think I'm a good lover?" Maxine asked.

"Yes, I do." I answered.

"Then how come you've complained our entire marriage about our lovemaking."

I carefully tried to shape the question. "It was the frequency I was complaining about." which wasn't true. Only in the last few weeks, with her experimenting, had her technique improved.

"If you're so concerned about frequency, how come you insisted on the cock cage?"

This conversation was a mine-field. One wrong step, and I would just get more pain. "The cage went on before your sex drive increased. We put the cage on to control my masturbating."

Apparantly I had answered correctly, because she cuddled up closer.

"Do you resent the cock cage?"

I thought for a moment before answering. "Yes."

I felt my wife grip the chain tightly just before she pulled. She yanked and I thought she had pulled a nipple right off my chest. "Then how come you can't respond like a real man when I take the cage off??"

I was only beginning to recover, when she yanked again. "Answer me!!"

I answered quickly, "Because when my cock is locked up for a long time, it takes time to respond."

She was clutching the chain. "Are you calling me insensitive?"

"No! I'm not. It's me. It's me." I couldn't stand any more pain right now.

She eased up. "Well, if it's you, I want you to tell Dr. Gruen the truth about it. I won't let you and a therapist gang up on me."

She paused for a moment and readjusted the nipple clamps, which had almost come off. She settled back into a comfortable position. "Who was the one who got you obsessed with the smell and disgusting taste of my ass: You or I?"

I knew what was coming. I couldn't win. If I said "I developed it myself," she would be angry that I told Dr. Gruen a lie. If I repeated that she developed my fixation, she would explode.

"I did myself."

Quickly, one in each hand, Maxine closed the clamps. The pain was electric in intensity. I couldn't see straight, and she grabbed the chain. "Then why. . ." She yanked suddenly. ". . . did" she yanked again. "you . . ." another yank "Lie???" One final yank, and a clamp came off. She immediately reapplied it, tightening it all the way.

I was close to tears. "Please stop, Maxine."

She grabbed the chain again, cuddled closer, and held me back by my waist so I wouldn't be able to lessen the pressure as she pulled the clamps away from my chest. "Just tell me why you lied to Dr. Gruen?"

BUT I DIDN'T LIE! I wanted to yell, but was afraid of the pain. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I lied."

"Then tell her so the next time." Maxine said, and eased up on the chain.

After a slight pause, Maxine had us shift positions so she sat back and spread her legs, and I leaned back between her legs, facing in the same direction. She looped her legs on top of mine to keep me steady, placed one arm across my shoulders, and clutched the chain with her other hand. My head rested back on her shoulder. I felt nothing but her softness, and smelled her perfume. I began to harden inside of the cock cage, and Maxine gentle toyed with my penis with her foot.

"I got an offer to go to work for the summer at a health club which Richie owns. It would be a managerial position. The pay would be good, and I'd feel a lot better about myself. Do you have any objections to my working for Richie?"

If this exercise was meant to elicit honest responses, the pain made that impossible. I did object, but the idea of receiving pain for telling the truth made it impossible to say no. I glanced down, and Maxine was poised to yank my nipples off if I gave the wrong answer. "No objections."

"It's mostly evening and night hours. Do you have any problem with that?" With the nipple clamps as an enforcement device, I just quickly nodded in agreement.

"And," Maxine braced her legs, and held me tighter. She gripped the chain tightly. "If at any time, the situation presents itself where I'm obliged to do a sexual act for one reason or another, like at the disco, will you ever make me feel guilty, or will you trust me and know that I love you more than anyone?"

She breathed on my ear, and caressed my chest as she waited for the answer. She was not impatient for the reply, because she knew what it would be. "I trust you."

Now she was whispering, and she gave me a squeeze. "Good honey. I'm glad. And will you ever again hurt me by acting unappreciative when I give you a gift, or will you accept the gift, and thank me for it." She was referring to the blow- job technique which she had learned while experimenting on Pump. Again, there was only one sane response. "I'll accept the gift and say thank you."

For a moment, Maxine just caressed my hair, and face, and hugged and kissed me from behind. The contrast between the biting pain in my nipples and the gentle caresses confused my senses. "Just one more question, darling, then we can both go to sleep." By now, I was almost delerious from the pain.

She held me tightly now, and I tried to squirm away because I knew it would be another no win question. But her hand was tight across my chest, and her legs around my midsection. She held the chain tightly, and asked the question very clearly. "Do you want to have a sex life at all?"

A 'no' might banish me to the cock cage forever. A 'yes' opened up a Pandora's Box which could trigger her anger. I had to risk the pain.

"Yes I do." I said, and braced myself.

She didn't yank on the clamps, but touched my hair and then squeezed me tighter. I relaxed. "So do I, honey. But . . ." Like a flash, she started pulling steadily on the clamps, forcing me to lift my chest off the bed. She forced me back with all her weight so my nipples would receive all of the pressure. I screamed, but she kept pulling, and began yelling: "If you do, then why are you making problems??" She kept up the pulling, for a moment, tugging until she applied a steady pressure, and yanked first one, then the other clamp off my nipples. The pain was as intense as I've ever felt.

Maxine stopped, and I was crying. She then went back to caressing me, and cooing that it would be alright, the exercise was over. "It'll be okay, baby." She shifted me over onto my side again, held me, and we went to sleep with Maxine massaging life back in my nipples.

"I hope I didn't hurt you too much. But I think Dr. Gruen was right. Don't you think we learned a lot from that exercise."

I certainly learned that the pain was more than I could take, and that the choice may indeed come down to choosing to stay with the woman I loved, or leaving her.

To Be Continued...

Denial Ch. 04

There was a tension in the house for the next few days, and I continued to sleep in the basement. The second day, while I was out on a business appointment, Maxine, who was home on summer vacation, moved a small TV set, and some of my toiletries and clothing down to the basement. When I came home, and noticed this, I went up to the kitchen to confront her about it. She was talking to someone, and laughing conspiratorially.

"Who's that?" I asked.

Maxine covered the mouthpiece and glared at me. "A friend. What do you want?"

"What's with the TV and clothes in the basement?"

Maxine said into the phone, "I'll call you back. Are you at the club . . . OK, bye."

Who was she talking to, and at what "club?"

"I really need some time alone to think, until we see the therapist later this week. Is it really so terrible down there for another few nights." She touched my hand. The first sign of affection in two days.

I shrugged. The day after our argument, she told me that she had gotten the name of a good counselor who would see us both and try to help us with our problem. I asked about credentials and degrees, but Maxine didn't know.

That evening, we had dinner, and after I did the dishes, Maxine went upstairs to change. When she came down, she was wearing my favorite negligee, and perfume. She kissed me goodnight and started upstairs. "Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow."

I stayed in the downstairs living room for a while, and then went down to the basement to try to sleep. This was the most frustrated I had ever been, knowing that Maxine was upstairs looking so enticing, and I was two floors away.

The next morning was our appointment with the therapist, Dr. Gruen, who was a 20-minute drive across town. Maxine and I practically said nothing during the whole trip.

Dr. Gruen's office was a large apartment, with a study set aside as an office. We rang the bell, and a woman answered. I told her we were there to see Dr. Gruen, and she said, "I'm Dr. Gruen." She was about 60, tall very thin. She had piercing blue eyes, and her white hair was pulled back handsomely.

We came in to sit down, had coffee, and made small talk for a few minutes. Then she asked each of us to just tell her why we were there. She asked that Maxine start, and she did.

From Maxine's prospective, she admitted that for years, she had had trouble responding to me sexually, and that she avoided it whenever possible. She told of our shift to s&m and the eventual adding of my cock cage as a way to restrict my masturbation, and give her a sense of control. But she slanted the version of what had happened in the last few weeks. She said that I was being paranoid about "our" new friends. Maxine said that I wasn't responding to conventional sex anymore, while her appetite was increasing, and that she needed much more than I was providing. She said that I seemed to only respond to "certain scents" during the sex act now. Dr. Gruen glanced to me for a moment, then just listened patiently.

I then told Dr. Gruen my side of it. At intervals during my story, she turned to Maxine and shook her head.

"And what do you think Maxine's motives are for getting together with this Richie and his friends."

I looked at Maxine and said to the doctor, "I don't know. But I've already caught her making love"

Dr. Gruen looked at Maxine reproachingly. Maxine stared at me hurt.

"And what are these smells that you find so appealing," Dr. Gruen asked me.

I stammered for a moment, and then explained. "If I can say, it's the smells from Maxine's, uh, her . . . "

"Vagina?" asked Dr. Gruen, patiently.

I glanced at Maxine, who had a challenging look on her face. I continued to stammer.

"Her anus?" Dr. Gruen prompted, and I shook my head. "How did this come about."

I then explained how this was the only accompaniment to sexual relief which Maxine has allowed me for the last year.

"So, Maxine, you have cultivated your husband's fixation." Maxine just stared at Dr. Gruen.

Dr. Gruen sat back and clasped her hands. "Maxine, your husband certainly has a lot of pain, which must be addressed if your relationship is to survive. I'm very surprised at the way in which you've responded to his needs. You have a very special husband, and he should be treated as such. I think you will need separate counseling, and then later, you both should join a therapy group with other couples who have similar problems."

Maxine was being reproached, but on what basis, I couldn't figure out.

"And you," she now turned to me. "Your wife needs as much help as you. I'll be assigning Maxine some special sensitivity exercises for you both to do. One per evening. She and I will talk about them now, alone."

She asked Maxine to stay for a separate session to discuss some of the exercises. Maxine asked me to pick her up in an hour.

When I returned, Maxine was sitting in the doctor's office, laughing and both were having a smoke. Dr. Gruen wanted to see me for a few minutes alone, so Maxine left.

"Many of the sensitivity exercises I have given Maxine to do, are sexual and involve some discipline. Please be patient with her, but you must record your real response to these exercises in this journal. It will help in her treatment. Bring the journal with you next time. Your answers must be stream of consciousness, and portray your real feelings. Don't worry about their content. It's the honesty that I'm looking for between you and your wife. As you work in the house, you each need some time apart. Perhaps your wife can get a job for the summer." She held my hand for a moment. "And above all, try to relax. We'll try and solve the problem, so you can have a more stable marriage."

As Dr. Gruen was walking me to her door, she stopped. "Oh, and that cock cage? I recommend that it stay on for this first round of exercises. Eventually, we will have Maxine take it off you and throw it away. But for now, it's her progress which I'm concerned about, and she'll feel more secure with it on you, so let's keep it on for a while longer, okay?"

All of my fears were set aside. This was a woman doctor who also saw that Maxine needed to change. Dr. Gruen was not going to gang up with my wife on me, which I was afraid of. She recognized that the problem was Maxine's and that she would have to give her most of the attention.

The first night, Maxine came down to the basement in her negligee, and said that she wanted me to sleep in our room again. I said yes, and she said Dr. Gruen's first exercise required that I had to beg her to do so, to show her that I really wanted to.

In the name of going along with Maxine's treatment, I started to beg.

"On your knees," Maxine interrupted me.

I got on my knees. "The exercise is that you're not to look at me, but you're to put my big toe into your mouth right after you beg me." she said very matter of factly, and slipped out of her high-heeled mule. She stared down at me coldly.

I begged her, and she just pointed to her toe. I lowered myself down on the ground, opened my mouth wide and she placed her big toe into my mouth. "Keep it there," Maxine said softly. She moved the toe more deeply into my mouth, and kept it there for a minute or so. She then slowly took it out, and told me I had permission to sleep in the bedroom. We slept holding each other that night. It was Friday.

My feelings were complex. I imagine that Dr. Gruen was giving Maxine an opportunity to get much of the negative feelings out of her system. To cleanse herself, as such. As Dr. Gruen said, I would have to be patient, and understand that it was all being done in the interest of achieving a balance in our marriage. I played along with Maxine, prepared myself for a rough week, and for the rest of the week, would put my impressions down in the journal. I wondered what Maxine's impressions of these incidents would be.

The next night, Saturday, when I finished the dishes and went into our bedroom, my bag of s&m toys was on the bed. Maxine was sitting at the edge of the bed, with her legs crossed, dressed in my favorite neglegee again. "Come here," Maxine said to me when I entered the room, and crooked her finger at me. I went to her, and she motioned for me to turn around. When I did, she pulled my hands behind me, and with wrist cuffs she had taken from the bag, she bound my hands. She then turned me around facing her again.

She had me kneel beside the bed. She reached for and untangled the nipple clamps from the pile of toys. She opened them wide, and began putting them on me, tightening them to the next to last notch, and gave a sharp tug to see that they wouldn't come off. She then pulled me up onto my feet and over her onto my side of the bed, easing me down onto my side. Facing away from her, I felt her shift and heard her negligee open to expose her breasts, and this was confirmed when she cuddled closely to me.

Her breasts and hot breathe drove me wild. She began to softly explain. "This is how the exercise says we should sleep tonight. Dr. Gruen says that I should get in touch with our anger, and learn how to respond appropriately. In this "Question Sensitivity Exercise," everytime you 'push one of my buttons,' and make me angry, I have to yank on the clamps. The angrier you make me, the harder I yank. If you've really gone too far, the exercise says I can close them to their tightest to let you know. It also says we should talk about topics which especially disturb us, with no other distractions, and that to avoid misunderstandings, we should use a tape recorder."

Maxine turned out the lights, flipped on the tape recorder she had placed on my night table, and we sat for a moment. The only sound in the room was the slight whir of the tape recorder, our breathing, and the occasional rattle of the clamp's metal chain as one of us shifted in the bed. The whole situation was also stimulating me beneath my cock cage, as Maxine was massaging my back with her breasts. All of the questions would be Maxine's, she said, as Dr. Gruen was trying to center on her response. "Don't worry, honey. Tomorrow night's exercise deals with YOUR questions. Ready?" Maxine asked, snuggling closer.

"Yes." I answered.

"Okay. And you have to be truthful. If you're evasive, I'm allowed to express my anger. Here goes: Do you love me?"

"Yes," I replied, surprised at how vulnerable and insecure Maxine seemed.

"Do you trust me?"

I thought for a moment before answering. "Yes, but I don't know whether you realize that you're hurting me."

"How am I hurting you?" She asked ironically, clutching onto a chain spanning my chest which could cause great pain if she pulled it.

"You hurt me by making love to Richie and Tom . . . "

Suddenly, like a bell ringing, Maxine yanked hard on the clamps.

I then heard her voice through the haze of my pain. "I KNOW all that! I had no choice. I was in a situation where I was obliged to follow through. I thought you understood that!!"

I was recovering from the pain, and her voice softened. "Do you understand THAT?"

"Yes."

There was a pause, as she settled in comfortably again.

"Do you think I'm a good lover?" Maxine asked.

"Yes, I do." I answered.

"Then how come you've complained our entire marriage about our lovemaking."

I carefully tried to shape the question. "It was the frequency I was complaining about." which wasn't true. Only in the last few weeks, with her experimenting, had her technique improved.

"If you're so concerned about frequency, how come you insisted on the cock cage?"

This conversation was a mine-field. One wrong step, and I would just get more pain. "The cage went on before your sex drive increased. We put the cage on to control my masturbating."

Apparantly I had answered correctly, because she cuddled up closer.

"Do you resent the cock cage?"

I thought for a moment before answering. "Yes."

I felt my wife grip the chain tightly just before she pulled. She yanked and I thought she had pulled a nipple right off my chest. "Then how come you can't respond like a real man when I take the cage off??"

I was only beginning to recover, when she yanked again. "Answer me!!"

I answered quickly, "Because when my cock is locked up for a long time, it takes time to respond."

She was clutching the chain. "Are you calling me insensitive?"

"No! I'm not. It's me. It's me." I couldn't stand any more pain right now.

She eased up. "Well, if it's you, I want you to tell Dr. Gruen the truth about it. I won't let you and a therapist gang up on me."

She paused for a moment and readjusted the nipple clamps, which had almost come off. She settled back into a comfortable position. "Who was the one who got you obsessed with the smell and disgusting taste of my ass: You or I?"

I knew what was coming. I couldn't win. If I said "I developed it myself," she would be angry that I told Dr. Gruen a lie. If I repeated that she developed my fixation, she would explode.

"I did myself."

Quickly, one in each hand, Maxine closed the clamps. The pain was electric in intensity. I couldn't see straight, and she grabbed the chain. "Then why. . ." She yanked suddenly. ". . . did" she yanked again. "you . . ." another yank "Lie???" One final yank, and a clamp came off. She immediately reapplied it, tightening it all the way.

I was close to tears. "Please stop, Maxine."

She grabbed the chain again, cuddled closer, and held me back by my waist so I wouldn't be able to lessen the pressure as she pulled the clamps away from my chest. "Just tell me why you lied to Dr. Gruen?"

BUT I DIDN'T LIE! I wanted to yell, but was afraid of the pain. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I lied."

"Then tell her so the next time." Maxine said, and eased up on the chain.

After a slight pause, Maxine had us shift positions so she sat back and spread her legs, and I leaned back between her legs, facing in the same direction. She looped her legs on top of mine to keep me steady, placed one arm across my shoulders, and clutched the chain with her other hand. My head rested back on her shoulder. I felt nothing but her softness, and smelled her perfume. I began to harden inside of the cock cage, and Maxine gentle toyed with my penis with her foot.

"I got an offer to go to work for the summer at a health club which Richie owns. It would be a managerial position. The pay would be good, and I'd feel a lot better about myself. Do you have any objections to my working for Richie?"

If this exercise was meant to elicit honest responses, the pain made that impossible. I did object, but the idea of receiving pain for telling the truth made it impossible to say no. I glanced down, and Maxine was poised to yank my nipples off if I gave the wrong answer. "No objections."

"It's mostly evening and night hours. Do you have any problem with that?" With the nipple clamps as an enforcement device, I just quickly nodded in agreement.

"And," Maxine braced her legs, and held me tighter. She gripped the chain tightly. "If at any time, the situation presents itself where I'm obliged to do a sexual act for one reason or another, like at the disco, will you ever make me feel guilty, or will you trust me and know that I love you more than anyone?"

She breathed on my ear, and caressed my chest as she waited for the answer. She was not impatient for the reply, because she knew what it would be. "I trust you."

Now she was whispering, and she gave me a squeeze. "Good honey. I'm glad. And will you ever again hurt me by acting unappreciative when I give you a gift, or will you accept the gift, and thank me for it." She was referring to the blow- job technique which she had learned while experimenting on Pump. Again, there was only one sane response. "I'll accept the gift and say thank you."

For a moment, Maxine just caressed my hair, and face, and hugged and kissed me from behind. The contrast between the biting pain in my nipples and the gentle caresses confused my senses. "Just one more question, darling, then we can both go to sleep." By now, I was almost delerious from the pain.

She held me tightly now, and I tried to squirm away because I knew it would be another no win question. But her hand was tight across my chest, and her legs around my midsection. She held the chain tightly, and asked the question very clearly. "Do you want to have a sex life at all?"

A 'no' might banish me to the cock cage forever. A 'yes' opened up a Pandora's Box which could trigger her anger. I had to risk the pain.

"Yes I do." I said, and braced myself.

She didn't yank on the clamps, but touched my hair and then squeezed me tighter. I relaxed. "So do I, honey. But . . ." Like a flash, she started pulling steadily on the clamps, forcing me to lift my chest off the bed. She forced me back with all her weight so my nipples would receive all of the pressure. I screamed, but she kept pulling, and began yelling: "If you do, then why are you making problems??" She kept up the pulling, for a moment, tugging until she applied a steady pressure, and yanked first one, then the other clamp off my nipples. The pain was as intense as I've ever felt.

Maxine stopped, and I was crying. She then went back to caressing me, and cooing that it would be alright, the exercise was over. "It'll be okay, baby." She shifted me over onto my side again, held me, and we went to sleep with Maxine massaging life back in my nipples.

"I hope I didn't hurt you too much. But I think Dr. Gruen was right. Don't you think we learned a lot from that exercise."

I certainly learned that the pain was more than I could take, and that the choice may indeed come down to choosing to stay with the woman I loved, or leaving her.

To Be Continued...