Testimony of Chen Shua, Female, 19

 

 

 

My two friends taught me how to be a practitioner. I saw no harm in it. After three weeks, I felt much better, and all my aches went away. Of course I was discreet, as what we were doing was banned.

 

Soon afterwards they sent me to the home of Madame _____. While I watched, she wrote out from memory an essay entitled "Advice To Those Of Our Young Chrysanthemums Who May Fall Into The Hands Of  The Police". She required me to memorize it over the next few hours, and then burned the copy she had just made. When I quote from it, I will use capital letters.

 

Weeks later I was alone in _____ Park when I was approached by a young policeman.

 

"I have been watching you. I believe you may be a member of the evil cult. Show me your identification papers."

 

I tried to give him just the papers from my handbag, but he tore it away.  Soon he had my diary in his hands. It recorded visits to certain places. Some were known to be the haunts of practitioners.

 

IF YOU ARE STOPPED BY A POLICEMAN, BE TOTALLY COOPERATIVE, BUT MAKE IT CLEAR THAT THERE HAS BEEN A MISUNDERSTANDING. NEVER ADMIT TO BEING A PRACTITIONER. IF YOU CONFESS, YOU WILL IMMEDIATELY BE ARRESTED, BEATEN, AND TRANSPORTED TO A FORCED WORK CAMP. YOU MAY NEVER BE HEARD FROM AGAIN.

 

"I am not a member of the evil cult. There has been a misunderstanding. I was only stretching the muscles of my back while looking at the white ducks upon the water."

 

"Be quiet. I must read some more. This is suspicious. Soon I will decide if I will arrest you."

 

IF YOU ARE ARRESTED, THE ARRESTING OFFICER WILL BE OBLIGED TO MAKE A STRONG CASE AGAINST YOU. ONCE IN POLICE CUSTODY, YOU WILL BE ABUSED.  USE EVERY MEANS POSSIBLE TO AVOID ARREST. REMEMBER TO BE TOLERANT, LIKE THE CHEESHUE TREE, WHICH BENDS TO THE WILL OF THE WIND, BUT DOES NOT BREAK.

 

"I can explain everything that you may be reading, but it may take time. Perhaps it would be better if we went to a more private place, where we could discuss this at our leisure. My apartment is not far from here."

 

The young policeman gave me a certain look. I nodded respectfully, then cast my eyes down.

 

When we reached my building I could see my neighbors looking at us. Perhaps I would have to move soon. Before we got out of the police car, I spoke.

 

"We must be quiet once inside. My neighbors will have their ears against  thin walls."

 

"Then I will tell you now, Chen Shua, that you will swallow it all."

 

I was so young I did not know what he meant. As soon as the door closed, his  hands became busy. Never had I allowed a man to touch me in my secret places. My hands came up of their own accord to stop his rudeness. Then he struck my cheek hard and I tasted blood. I dared not cry out. My hands fell away and I knew I must let him do whatever he wished. He took all my clothes off, piece by piece, looking and touching as he went. He smiled when I blushed.  No man had ever seen me naked. He cuffed my hands behind my back and made me kneel before him. He made me watch as he took off his clothes.  I had never seen such a thing before. It was 20 centimeters long and stood nearly straight up. The tip was already wet with clear fluid. He grasped my hair and pulled down on my chin. Finally I understood what he wanted.

 

He was not a clean man. I tasted stale urine and another thing, far worse, like spoiled bean sprouts. Then I was choking, breathing hard as he plunged in and out. I hoped he would finish soon. He was young and did not take long. I had no choice but to swallow.

 

He undid the cuffs and we got dressed in silence. I was glad it was over so soon, and that he had not tried to start a child within me. Then I got a big shock.

 

"You are under arrest for being a member of the evil cult. If you speak of what has transpired, I will deny it, and you will be beaten."

 

IF YOU ARE ARRESTED, YOU WILL BE FORCED TO STRIP NAKED IN THE POLICE STATION. THIS IS ROUTINE  FOR ALL PRISONERS, BUT YOU, BEING INNOCENT, ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW THIS. ALTHOUGH YOU CANNOT AVOID STRIPPING, YOU MUST PRETEND TO BE VERY UPSET WHEN THEY ASK.  IF YOU TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES AS SOON AS THEY WANT YOU TO, YOU ARE AS MUCH AS ADMITTING THAT YOU ARE GUILTY.

 

They put me alone in a very plain cell. There was nothing beside two chairs, a mattress upon the bare floor, and a large bamboo screen hiding the toilet. I was glad of that privacy.  On the screen was the well-known pattern  "Cherry Blossoms on the Mountain". There was nothing else to look at as the long hours passed. I supposed they were reading my diary. I wondered if there was anything else in my bag which might tend to convict me.

 

Finally a man in his thirties entered the room and sat down facing me. He had a heavy looking case in his right hand, which he put down. Across his left side was fastened an evil-looking black rubber baton. He wore a uniform, but it was not that of a policeman or guard.

 

"We have been looking at your diary. On April 17 you were at ______ Park. We believe that you left the park shortly before we arrested six women who were with you. They were all brought into cells much like this one. After certain things were done to them, they confessed. They were transported to re-education camps. We are sure you are equally guilty. We are going to examine your naked body for hidden devices. Take off your clothes immediately."

 

"I am not a member of the evil cult, and therefore I have no devices, and I will not take off my clothes."

 

I believe my bold answer pleased him, for it allowed him to proceed as cruelly he wished. I expected that he would seize me and begin to tear off my clothes. My intent was to put up a little resistance before succumbing.

 

Instead, he ordered me to lie down on the mattress. He removed my shoes and stockings. He drew  from the case two padded leather ankle restraints. Locked together, and fastened to ringbolts in the floor, they left my feet pressed tightly together and immobile. I didn't understand at all what was happening. My legs were now closed in such a way that I didn't see how he could undress me. Then I thought he might cut all my clothes off with a big pair if shears. Cut right up the leg of my pants, slide the cold steel under my panties, keep on clipping  right up my blouse. And so on the other side. Then just lift off the top pieces and pull the rest from underneath. Then I would have no clothes. I'd be transported to the camp naked. The transport guards would smirk and do naughty things to my bare body. Maybe all the prisoners in the camp were kept naked as they worked long hours under whips to make things for sale in America! I shivered at the thought.

 

But he didn't do that. What he did was far, far worse.

 

NOW I MUST TELL YOU SOME VERY SAD NEWS. WHEN YOU ARE IN THE POLICE STATION, YOU WILL PROBABLY BE TORTURED TO MAKE YOU CONFESS. AND YOU WILL CONFESS, EVERYBODY DOES. BUT YOU CANNOT CONFESS BEFORE YOU ARE TORTURED! IF YOU ONLY CONFESS UNDER TORTURE, THEY CANNOT BE SURE IF IT IS TRUE. YOU MUST BEAR UP, DEAR ONE, KNOWING WITH FORTITUDE THAT ALL THINGS PASS IN TIME.

 

He seized the toes of my left foot tightly and pulled out his baton. Then he swiftly stabbed the tip of it midway down my sole. The baton was electrified!

 

I howled. I screamed at the top of my lungs as he pressed the hot tip deep within my flesh. And then it was over, and I lay gasping for the breath I had just lost, sweat pouring off my face, my leg muscles cramping and uncramping uncontrollably. And then he quite calmly took my other foot in his hand and...

 

"Don't.....don't...dont..DON'T DONT DON'TDON'TDON'T. ..EEEEEEEEEE!

 

And then it was over. Perhaps only twenty seconds of pain in all, but almost unbearable. Do you think it was too little? Do you think I am a coward? You know nothing. You would howl, too.

 

I opened my fearful eyes. He still had the baton in his hand.

 

"I'll..I'll do anything you want." My voice was hoarse from the screaming. No, I was not lying. I would indeed do anything, anything at all. Anything to distract him from the baton.

 

He nodded, saying nothing. His eyes strayed down from my tear-stained face to my chest. As soon as I understood what he wanted, I hurried to comply.

 

I sat up and removed my blouse swiftly. My eyes never left the baton.  Moments later I was naked above the waist. I have small breasts. I hoped they would please him. I feared he might seize one of them in his hand and press the baton to my nipple. If he did that, I thought my heart might stop. And the last thing I would hear in this world would be the sound of my scream, and the last I would smell would be my own burned flesh

 

Much to my relief, he holstered the baton. He moved behind me and brought his hands up to my breasts, cupping them gently, rubbing his palms against my nipples. It was a relief to know  he intended to rape me. He pushed me down on my back. My breasts are so small that in this position they almost disappeared.  All he could see were small mounds tipped with pink. I was afraid he would be disappointed and punish me more.

 

"I'll do anything.", I said again. I was trembling.

 

He brought his mouth to my right nipple and began to tease it with his lips, then his tongue. He took the whole nipple and aureole too into his mouth, sucking hard. I could feel the blood in my breast rush into the nipple, engorging it, distending it, hardening it. And then he did the same thing with the left while he played with the right, rolling the enlarged and slippery tip between his thumb and first finger. And I groaned and bucked upwards, mashing my breast against his face.

 

And now he was rising from his crouch, his burning eyes traveling down my body from my breasts to between my legs. And I made haste to sit up again and undo my pants. He took off my ankle cuffs and I raised up my butt so I could pull everything down to my poor hurt feet. And then he drew my last remaining clothes over and off.

 

Now for the second time in one day I was naked in front of a strange man. I tried to think what he wanted me to do next. If I could guess correctly maybe he would not hurt me.

 

NOW, MY DEAR CHILD, YOUR CLOTHES ARE OFF AND YOU HAVE BEEN SORELY ABUSED.

IT IS TIME TO COOPERATE. IF YOUR CAPTOR IS LOOKING WITH LUST AT YOUR BODY, THIS IS GOOD. WE KNOW OF MANY WOMEN WHO HAVE GIVEN THEMSELVES TO POLICEMEN IN JUST THIS SITUATION WHO HAVE AVOIDED THE CAMPS. LET HIM BELIEVE THAT YOUR DESIRE IS AS STRONG AS HIS. SURVIVE. SURVIVE!

 

I opened my legs as wide as they would go. I had never thought I would pose so obscenely for any man. I sat up and looked down to see what he was seeing.  My outer labia were partially parted, showing pink within. Fortunately I don't have much hair down there, so his view was clear.

 

Now he started to take off his clothes. I pretended to like what I saw, but inside I was scared.  I was afraid it would hurt when he pushed it in. He was naked and fully ready. I feared he would be too large for me. He  crouched at my feet, staring. He took each labium between  thumb and finger and parted them even wider.. He made me raise my legs. He stroked his tongue up and down my pinkness. He found my button, small as it is, and sucked it from its hiding place.

 

"I see you are a virgin."

 

"Yes. I am worried that you are so large, but I want you to be my first."

 

He got above me, resting on his elbows, and placed himself at my entrance.  It felt like a big thumb was pressing against me. And then something gave, and I felt a sharp pain, and suddenly he was inside me. And after only a second's delay he began to move  in smooth sure strokes, gradually picking up speed,

gasping in joy as he plunged deeper and deeper, feeling me move underneath him. I grasped his buttocks and drew him in even tighter, thrusting back, until he suddenly stopped, stiffened, convulsed , shot within me. It gave me pleasure, but I could not give way completely. Many virgins are disappointed their first time. I was no exception, but I tried to hide my true feelings from him.

 

Over and over I told him how wonderful it had been. But he saw through my lies. He ordered me to bring my hands down and rub myself. Once again I blushed. I had done this thing many times, but always in  great privacy, so none should know my secret joy.  But now I was compelled to do it in the open, with his eyes upon me.  But I did as he said, and in the end there was no pretense. For in fact he had left me  unsatisfied, and it was kind of him to insist on this release.

 

Now my feet hurt still, and I was untidy between my legs. Some of his cream was leaking out and was mixed with my own blood and juices. He withdrew from the case a small digital camera and took a closeup picture.

 

 I needed to go to the bathroom badly, but I could not walk. He carried me behind the bamboo screen and set me down. I blushed again when I learned that he wanted to watch. He opened my legs wide and pulled apart my labia. My stream spurted noisily into the water. He smiled at this. Then he took a great wad of paper and gently cleaned me of the pee which remained, and of the other juices, too.

 

He carried me back to the mattress and dressed my feet. I found I could get my shoes on and stand delicately upon the sterile pads.

 

He drove me home. He said if I ever accused him, I would be dead. He said if I ever went to any park again and was arrested, he could not save me from joining my two friends at the camp. I never saw him again.

 

I offer this testimony to join with that of thousands of others who have been abused for their beliefs. And in memoriam for the thousands who have gone to the camps who will never return.

 

NOTE: Chen Shua is now living in the United States. Her application for political asylum is pending.