BDSM Library - Love and Understanding

Love and Understanding

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Synopsis: An experimental story about understanding a submissive relationship.

Love and Understanding (part 1)


by Some Writer

"Richard? Smith?"

"That's me," said the mechanic, ineffectually wiping grime off his hands.

"Hi. You used to know a Louise Minner didn't you?"

"Ages ago, yes. Why's that?"

"I'm her.. psychiatrist. She is in my care at the moment so I'm trying to research her background in order to better understand her. Anything you can tell me about her and your relationship would help."

"Not much to tell, we only lasted a few weeks."

"Please, anything. Intimate details may help in my diagnosis," the psychiatrist explained.

"Doesn't surprise me," Richard said with a laugh. "She always was about sex, that girl. Let's go and talk in the back room."

"So did you have sex with her?" the psychiatrist asked plainly when they were settled in their seats in the otherwise empty staff-room.

"Me, no. I was a virgin before and after I was going out with her. We were going out for a few weeks before I got up the courage to suggest that maybe she might like to put her hands down my trousers."

"And did she?"

"I'll never forget what she said. 'Why don't I use my mouth instead?'. Course, I was shocked. Every bloke 'knew' at that age how difficult it was to get girls to do anything, and here she was offering a blow job off her own bat. I accepted, naturally. She probably wasn't great back then, but I don't think I noticed - too busy blowing my load all over the room."

"So what happened between you after that?"

"It was really strange. A few days later we got together, and suddenly she blurted out that she had sucked some other guy off the day before, and swallowed his come. I was angry of course, and we split up right there and then. I mean, what sort of person does something like that, and then actually tells her boyfriend to his face? Crazy. I was still angry with her when I last saw her, but I hear from other people that she was still a slut, and still a bit odd. I guess that's why she's with you now. Will she be ok?"

"Hopefully. Thank you for your time, and honesty." The psychiatrist had not expected him to be so forthright, but it would help a lot.

* * *

The next man on the list had become an estate agent. The psychiatrist explained his mission, and was led into a back room in the agency. "Louise Minner, eh. Haven't heard that name in a while."

"As I said, any details would be useful. Especially intimate details."

"Is her, erm, problem sexual then?"

"It's a possible cause," the psychiatrist admitted.

"So you want to know what we did in bed, that sort of thing?"

"Please."

"The usual sort of stuff mainly. We had sex a fair few times, I remember that much. There was only one real incident that I can recall. You see she was a nice enough girl, but she was always talking big, if you know what I mean. She claimed once that she'd love to have two men at the same time. She might have just said it to turn me on, but I took her at her word and invited a friend over. She was pretty surprised when she found out why he was round, I can still see the look on her face now."

"So did you have this threesome?"

"You'd be better talking to her about that I think," the estate agent said coyly. The psychiatrist looked up from writing his notes but the man's expression was unreadable. The agent listed various other irrelevant details before running out of steam. The psychiatrist thanked him for his time and then went searching for the next man on the list.

* * *

"Louise Minner is your patient? God. What happened to her?"

"It's confidential I'm afraid," the psychiatrist explained.

"Ah, ok. So how can I help?"

"Tell me all about your relationship with her. Especially any sexual aspects." The photographer, Mark, did not seem surprised by this last request - a detail that the psychiatrist noted down. They were alone in Mark's large studio, sat next to a very expensive-looking camera.

"She was always interested in my photography. I was doing it my spare time at university. Should have done my degree in it really. Anyway, I started to get together with Louise just before Christmas in the year that we lived together. We were on the cusp of going out; we spent a lot of our time together but we hadn't actually gotten physical.

"So just before we were all headed home for Christmas I said I wanted to take a photo of her, to look at to remind me of her while we were apart. I was in my bedroom getting my camera ready for a simple portrait photo and she walks in. Dressed in a skimpy little bikini. As you can imagine, I was a bit taken aback. I asked her why she had changed into it." He paused, for dramatic effect.

"And what did she say?" the psychiatrist asked, to spur him on.

"She just said: 'Why, would you prefer if I changed back?'. I think it was then that I knew that she was the one for me." Mark paused for a few seconds, basking in the memory of his relationship with the woman. Then he added: "Tell you what, I still have those photos if you want to see."

It was the psychiatrist's turn to be taken aback. It was probably not proper to show any interest in the offer, but on the other hand Mark did seem to want to share his experiences, and interrupting his flow may not help the interview. "Sure," the psychiatrist told him.

Mark went off to his safe in the office adjoining the studio and fetched the photographs, pausing to look at them. Louise was a slim brunette with a slightly plain face. She had an allure about her that effortlessly attracted men and it was somehow visible even on the still images in Mark's hands. The first picture showed her white bikini top, which barely contained her small breasts. Her nipples, depicted in a poorly-heated room in December, looked like a cartoonish exaggeration as they pushed outwards underneath the bikini. The second picture, pulled back slightly, showed her with her legs crossed, her pale white legs demanding the attention of Mark's eye. The final picture was of her lying on her front; the only items of clothing visible were the strings around the back of her bikini top and bottoms. At first glance she looked naked - exactly as Mark had intended it to look.

The psychiatrist showed polite interest in the photographs and waited for Mark to sit back down.

"So how long did you go out with her?"

"Almost a year. But it felt longer than that. She was full of life."

"How was your sex life?" the psychiatrist asked. He did not have the time to listen to any other tales that he had a feeling Mark was ready to launch into.

"Full of life," Mark said with a grin. "I often felt like she needed more than just one man. In fact I seem to remember that Louise did mention having had a threesome, but that's not my thing so I never suggested that we do the same."

"Did she ever mention any other details of previous relationships?"

"She said that one of her previous boyfriends had tried to convince her to make a porn film. She said she had been ready to do it, but then she found out that he planned to show it to all his mates, and so she refused and dumped him. That was why she wouldn't ever pose naked for me; she was put off by that experience."

"That particular boyfriend - do you happen to recall his name?"

"No, sorry. Not sure that she ever told me, to be honest. I didn't just want the sex of course, you understand."

"No, I didn't mean to suggest that you did. It just happens to be the area I'm interested in," the psychiatrist assured him.

"She was always eager to please me. I felt like she really did just want to make me happy. That was one of her best points. I always figured it was because of her religion."

"Her religion?" The shock in the psychiatrist's voice was obvious.

"Yeah, didn't you know? She often used to be down at the local church. I always left her to it - not a believer myself - but she seemed fine with that."

"If she went to university in this city, does that mean that the church is around here?"

"Yes, you're right. It was St. David's, on the other side of town."

"Thank you very much."

* * *

The psychiatrist found the church with relative ease. It was small, but easy to get to. Inside it was empty apart from the pastor, who was cleaning.

"How can I help you?" asked the kindly man as he got up from where he was scrubbing at the stone floor.

"A bit of a long shot - I'm looking for someone who might have been here a bit less than ten years ago."

"I've been here for over twenty years now, so I may be able to help."

"Did you ever know a Louise Minner?" asked the psychiatrist.

"I did indeed."

"Ah, hi. I'm a, well I'm her psychiatrist, and I'm trying to get some insight into her past behaviour."

"I see. Well she certainly left an impression. She would regularly come up here to tell me of her antics and to ask forgiveness for them."

"So she confessed to you? Presumably that's all confidential." The man smiled at the psychiatrist's question.

"Wrong denomination. It was similar, I suppose. While I usually treat things as confidential, I have a feeling that she would be best served if I helped you. Am I right?"

"I believe so," the psychiatrist answered truthfully.

"Well, she certainly had a vibrant life. She loved the company of boys, and would always be telling me about her past and current exploits with them, all the way through her time at university until she moved away after she graduated. And she did things with them that - well, maybe these days they wouldn't be very surprising - but I was often shocked."

"Could you give any examples?"

"I'm not sure that I'd like to bring up that sort of thing actually. Call me a prude if you like."

"Was she a nuisance to you?"

"No, she was a nice girl at heart. She did help out around here and was good with the children who came on a Sunday morning."

"Thank you for that. You don't happen to remember any of the names of the boys do you, so that I can look them up as well?"

"One name sticks in my mind; Vincent. Vincent Poll. He was often somehow involved with what she was up to."

"Ah, he wasn't on my list. Thank you for that. Much appreciated." The psychiatrist had one more visit lined up, and then he decided he would search for Mr. Poll.

* * *

The last man on his list had stayed on working for the university, which was close by. The psychiatrist found him in an office by himself.

"Louise Minner eh? I certainly wouldn't forget her," said the man, Ted, with a beaming smile.

"What can you tell me about her and your relationship? Intimate details may be useful."

"I think I know which kinky activities you are referring to," Ted said, grinning again.

"Oh? Could you give some details?"

"I'll start from the start." Thankfully for the psychiatrist, if there was one thing that Louise did, it was inspire people to boast about what they had done with her. "It all started one day when I found out that she had told someone a lie about me. I can't even remember what it was now, but I was really annoyed with her, and was shouting. At one point during the argument she just said: 'What are you going to do? Spank me for it?' and straight away I replied: 'Maybe I will!'

"There was this weird pause where I think we were both trying to work out if the other one was serious. Neither of us said anything, but after a few seconds Louise unbuckled her trousers, turned round, and dropped both her trousers and panties to the floor. I wasn't totally sure what to do, but I sat down on a chair. She walked over - still silent - and bent over my lap. I wasn't angry at that point - it was just surreal.

"I began spanking her. Fairly lightly though because she hasn't - well, didn't at that time anyway (haven't seen her in a few years) - got a very big bottom. No padding, you see. So I hit her maybe ten, fifteen times and then stopped. She got up, and put her clothes back on. It was odd; I'm not sure that she enjoyed it sexually, but she seemed somehow pleased - satisfied might be a better word - once I'd done it. She hugged and kissed me, and by then I'd forgotten that I was meant to be annoyed."

"Interesting," the psychiatrist murmured as he scribbled down notes.

"Of course after that, I started trying some related things with her."

"Such as?"

"We tried with her tying me up, but that didn't seem to interest her in the slightest, which is odd because she seems like a fairly feisty girl, you know? So we tried me tying her up. She was a bit nervous at first but she seemed to enjoy it. Oddly enough she didn't seem keen when I tried to pleasure her; she liked it more I think when I just did what I wanted. It made me feel a little bad but I think it was what she wanted. I tried some other methods of punishment. She always took it in almost complete silence. I was never sure if she liked it or not - whenever I asked her she never gave me a straight answer. I think that just about covers the main points. Shame we split up really."

"So why did you split up?"

"Funny thing that. I never did understand that woman. One day she just said she didn't think we were going anywhere. That was that really. I tried to talk to her - understand what was wrong."

"But you couldn't?"

"No, unfortunately not. Still, life goes on."

"It certainly does. Thank you for your time."

Love and Understanding (part 2)


by Some Writer

"Where have you been?" Louise asked her boyfriend Paul when he opened the door. "Disappearing for two days mid-week was a bit... unexpected." She knew that it was her harsh words that driven him away, but she had not expected him to leave for a few days. They had had a fight that had blown up out of nothing. Louise had ended it by screaming at Paul that he would 'never understand her, just like all the others'; the words sprang unbidden to her mind.

"Did you miss me?" Paul asked with a smile.

"Not much," Louise lied glibly. "So where have you been anyway?" She had been worried in case he had found another woman, but had tried to dismiss such thoughts as unfounded paranoia.

"I went to see some past acquaintances of yours."

"Do tell," Louise said, puzzled. Paul briefly recounted his meetings with the mechanic, the estate agent and the photographer, omitting most of the intimate details that they had imparted. He did not mention his visits to the church and the man at the university.

"So did you learn anything from them?" Louise asked. She was quite surprised that Paul had gone on his mission, filled with subterfuge, just for her sake.

"Not a great deal, admittedly. But maybe just enough. Anyway it's been a long day - let's just go to bed."

* * *

Louise awoke with a start. It took her a few seconds to realise why. When she tried to move, she felt the bite of metal on her wrists and ankles. It was dark around her, despite her eyes being open. She realised that a silk hood had been placed over her head. She was able to breathe without trouble, but her view of the world was heavily obscured.

"Hello?" she said nervously, wondering who could be there.

"Morning." Louise sighed relief when she heard Paul's voice.

"What are you doing?" she asked, still too shocked to be angry.

"I have a confession to make. I didn't tell you about all my trips yesterday. I met with some more people as well. And now that I've been honest with you, I want you to be honest with me. Can you do that?"

"Yes." Louise's mind was already racing, wondering what Paul had discovered.

"Have you ever been tied up before?"

After a pause, Louise answered.

"Yes."

"Did you give another man a blow job only days after giving one to one of your early boyfriends?" Louise hadn't expected Richard to tell Paul that, but her reaction was hidden by her hood.

"Yes, I did."

"And did you or did you not have a threesome with one of your boyfriends and his friend?"

"They told you that?" Louise asked.

"Yes he told me that he tried, but he wouldn't tell me if you went for it or not." Louise paused while she considered her answer.

"I did go for it."

"And finally - for now - did you once get asked to appear in porn by a previous boyfriend?"

"Yes."

The room was silent. Louise felt alone, unable as she was to see Paul's expression.

"You must think I'm a slut," she realised.

"No, I don't. That's just it. I don't care if you're a slut, I would be ok with that. It's that you lie. You seem to always end up lying."

"What do you mean?"

"One of the other people I met was a man from a church by the university. One that you used to attend. He told me about some of the things you used to tell him. Mainly about a man named Vincent. Does that sound familiar?"

"Yes."

"Well, what you probably didn't expect was that I tracked down Vincent once I'd spoken to everyone else. He told me that you were never involved with him in the slightest. You had a crush on him but he wasn't interested. Is that right?"

"Yes." Louise had a feeling as if the whole world was spinning around her. Her blindness did not help to alleviate the feeling.

"The fact that you lied about that got me thinking. So I'll ask again. Did you give that blow job?"

"No."

"Did you have that threesome?"

"No, I didn't." Louise thought back to the moment that she had been told that her boyfriend's friend had come over to have his part of her. She had outright refused, and dumped her boyfriend on the spot. Had he really expected her to say yes? She still could not believe that he had tried it.

"The tying up - was that true that you've been tied up before?"

"Yes, that was true."

"And the guy asking you to be in the porn film?"

"Not true."

"Do you think that it is fair if I punish you for these lies?"

"Punish - have you talked to Ted?" Louise asked, suddenly realising that Paul must have.

"Yes, I have. He had some suggestions for punishment but I think they might not be very effective as punishment. After all, punishment is meant to be something that you don't enjoy." For a reason that Louise could not place, that remark stung her.

"So what are you going to do?"

Paul said nothing, but instead helped Louise off the bed and marched her over to the chair in the corner of the bedroom.

"Stay there," he said. "I'll be back in an hour and I don't want to find that you have moved." With that he was gone.

Louise did not want to call out, caught between the worry that he would not respond and the fear that he would respond - with disappointment. Instead, she waited. She sat still.

Louise waited. She thought about Paul. He had found her out, in every sense. He had literally walked away from her. She was alone. She hoped he would come back.

Louise waited. When Ted had inflicted pain on her, she had found herself able to take more than she had expected. Whatever he dared to do to her, she could stand. Physical endurance was easy. Pain was fine. Being abandoned was hard. Harder than it should be, she reasoned. Paul had said that he would only be gone for an hour. What was an hour in the grand scheme of things? She did not know how long was left. Half an hour could have passed, or only five minutes. He would be back soon - hopefully.

Louise waited. If she called out loud enough, he would come. But then she would have failed. Failed him. She would not call out.

Louise waited. She could do nothing else.

Paul went back into the room. He was pleased to see Louise sitting exactly where he left her. "Good girl," he told her as he tugged her to her feet. "Now for the tough part." He removed her hand and leg cuffs, then gently pushed her back into her seat. "I'll be back in an hour. Same drill as before; don't move."

"What's keeping me here?" Louise asked in surprise and then instantly regretted the stupid question.

"That's for you to work out," Paul said with a smile that she could not see. He turned to leave but paused in the doorway as she called out.

"Paul!" Her voice quavered slightly. "Do you still love me?"

"Of course I do."

Waiting was easy. Paul would be back soon.

An hour later, Paul returned and found Louise in exactly the same place. Her hood was untouched and she had not moved, despite being free. She tried to blink the light away as he removed her hood.

"No more lying?" Paul asked.

"No."

"Good. Do we have an understanding then?"

Louise smiled. "I think we do."

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