"I'm a really great fuck. Like, really. I'm kind of a dork, no, more of a geek really, but guys, take note – the geeky girls? the ones who tell dumb jokes and are, like, too smart and don't do their makeup and wear boy's clothes... the ones who are silly and freaky and who, to this day, have yet to wear an outfit that you can see their body in? Yeah, those girls... we'll ride your cock until your eyes roll back in your head, we have sweet, sweet asses underneath all that khaki, we'll tie you up and we'll beg to be tied up, we know what it is to get wet and we like to get off in front of you, and we give the best head. The best. Why? Because those who sleep with us, deserve it. Because we've weeded them out. Because we're hot. And y'all don't even know it. The cutiepies? Yeah, nice little handbag. But can she deepthroat? Psh. Will she tell you to get on your knees and eat her out? Hah. Cutiepie ain't that brave, or creative. Next time your crazy neighbor with the silly hair and the ripped jeans comes out of her room, take a second look, boys. Geeks have secrets. And great tits." – Anonymous, notproud.com (http://www.notproud.com/pride/pride1785.php)

* * *

I'm Samantha, aged nineteen, and this is my journal detailing my hunt for the right guy – the ultimate fuckable boytoy. Usually when people talk about hormonal teenagers, they refer to boys. Horny teenagers implies horny teenage boys. I don't know – maybe most other teenage girls did just sit around waiting for some guy to sweep them off their feet, love them and marry them. I wanted sex – fantastic sex, and I wanted it badly. Let me summarise how it all started for me...

I first masturbated when I was fourteen. I was watching some film with a hot guy in it, and I felt the familiar satisfying wetness in my knickers. I put my hand down there to feel how much there was and as I felt around my finger slipped into my pussy. I must have touched my clitoris because it felt really good. I began to feel around and slowly learnt which places to rub. To cut a long story short, I made myself come – the first of many, many times.

For the next six months or so I was hooked on masturbation. I'd spend a large proportion of my free time doing it and probably averaged once a day, if not more. Periods did not really slow me down, as I seemed to become hornier during that time of the month, which provided enough motivation to get over the whole blood thing. It was during these six months that I discovered the wonderful world of internet pornography.

The first time I saw pornographic pictures I was disgusted. The women were displaying their pussies for everyone to see – and you could see every last garish grotesque detail. The men's cocks were all huge and veiny and redheaded. But I kept returning to the pictures again and again, my curiosity getting the better of me. Slowly I came to love the pictures, and moved on to movie clips – which were decidedly more interesting.

The next significant event in my sexual development after that came when I decided to get myself a vibrator. I was newly turned fifteen and wanted to see what all the fuss was about concerning these things I had heard so much about on TV and on the internet. I had saved up enough money from the generous allowance that my parents gave me so that I could afford one. Not having a credit card was a major stumbling block however, as it ruled out the possibility of a purchase via the internet. I was going to have to go into a shop. I plucked up the courage one Wednesday afternoon, and skipped P.E. lessons to visit the local sex shop. I was almost immediately challenged about my age by the girl behind the counter but I produced my fake ID (something no underaged girl should be without!) and that seemed to satisfy her. I went to the vibrators and had a good long browse. In the end I chose two – a simple cheap vibrator that was just a plastic stick, and a fullon 'rabbit'style vibrator, with beads and a twirling end and a clitoral attachment.

I hurried home and was very wet by the time I made it into my bedroom and locked the door. I ripped the packaging off the rabbit vibrator, and pressed it against my wet vaginal opening. I pushed the head inside, and it felt so big it was unbelieveable. I was a virgin back then of course, and the biggest thing I had ever put inside me before was two fingers. I pushed the vibrator in, and just had to lie there for about twenty minutes on the verge between pain and pleasure while I adapted to the size of it. When I felt I was ready, I turned the vibrations on and immediately cried "ow" as the vibrating part juddered against my sensitive clitoris. I moved the plastic rabbit around until my "ows" became "oohs" and I held the vibrator there. Three orgasms later my clitoris was beginning to get sore, so I stopped. From then on my vibrator was my new best friend.

It was at this point that my internet pornography viewing deviated from 'vanilla' stuff into exploring most imaginable fetishes. I watched a whole new load of toys, such as butt plugs, strapon dildos and all sorts of vibrators. Bondage toys were in a category all of their own; blindfolds, ballgags, blinkers, nipple clamps, whips, floggers, paddles, crops, handcuffs, legcuffs, spreader bars, chains, rope, gimp masks and chastity belts. I watched men dominate women, women dominate men, men dominate men and women dominate women. I watched anal sex, 'rape', deepthroating, asstomouth, come flying everywhere and landing on every different available part of a woman's body, enemas, various lesbian and gay activities, and watersports. I'm sure I've missed some out, but by the time I had exhausted all the things I could find, I felt that I knew more about the possibilities of sex at age fifteen than most people know in their lifetimes. A curious mind is a wonderful thing.

I also began to act out, in what limited capacity I could, some of the things that I had seen. While I had watched all that list above, not all of it appealed to me of course. Which bits did and which didn't will no doubt become apparent as you read this journal, but the initial couple that I liked and wanted to try were anal toys and bondage. One night I found myself lying in bed trying to get to sleep while fantasising about some porn I had watched earlier with a girl orgasming while having her ass fucked. I rolled on to my front, and felt my ass cheeks with my hand. I slipped my finger between them, and felt for my asshole – something I had never actually done before. I found it and was surprised at how rough it was, all ridged and closed up. As I pushed against it experimentally I felt a twinge in my pussy. I tried to push harder, but I wasn't getting anywhere – it was too dry. I coated my fingers in the wetness of my pussy and tried again. This time I was able to insert one finger into my ass.

It felt, well, different. My ass muscles instinctively flexed to push my finger out, and I felt another twinge in my pussy. I pushed my other hand underneath my body and began to rub my clitoris. That felt really good

– better than it usually would without the finger in my ass. I rolled over and threw the quilt off the bed, all the while keeping my finger in my ass. I raised my legs up in the air so that I wasn't squashing my 'asshand' and kept rubbing with my 'pussyhand'. It was good, but I knew it could be better. Thankfully my small vibrator was in my bedside drawers, and I could reach it with my pussyhand from where I was lying. I turned it on and began running it up and down my crack, teasing myself. I was so excited by the naughtiness of the assplay that I dropped my vibrator, and it fell onto my asshand. Realisation dawned – I removed my finger and began to push the vibrator in instead. The vibrator was small enough (maybe an inch thick at most) that I barely felt it if I inserted it into my vagina, but in my ass it felt huge!

I was just able to accommodate it, though I had to turn the vibrations off and just leave it inside me, holding it in with my hand to stop my ass muscles pushing it out successfully. I began to rub my clitoris again slowly and soon realised that the ultimate experience would surely be to use my rabbit. The problem was, however, that I had hidden the rabbit away in the top of my cupboard. I got up, still holding the small vibrator inside me, and reached up for the rabbit onehanded. What a sight I must have looked, one hand trying desperately to keep a toy in my bum, while my other was scrabbling for my vibrator. I succeeded though, and climbed back into bed to play with my favourite toy. Sure enough it felt amazing, having a dildo in my pussy while the attachment buzzed away on my clit, and my ass tensed around the smaller toy. I ended up having three – or was it four – orgasms before I stopped. Multiple orgasms don't seem to be a problem for me, which is definitely a plus.

My experience that night demonstrated that butt plugs have a neck for a reason, and that week I returned to the sex shop and purchased a small and a medium plug. Despite my best efforts, all I seemed able to do with the medium plug was make my ass hurt really badly as it rejected the plug so I only used the small one – which did the job. It was rare after that for me to masturbate without the small plug in my ass.

As I said, the bondage in the porn appealed to me, but bondage presented a problem – it was really an activity for two, and I was definitely solo. I experimented with tying my legs to the corners of the bed, which was fun to an extent. I only really noticed it when my legs started shaking as I neared orgasm, and they could not move about freely. Sometimes I inserted the butt plug and imagined I was trapped there unable to remove the plug, but imagination is not as good as reality. I tried inserting the rabbit and pretending I had my hands tied behind my back, but the rabbit just fell out so I gave up and held it in as usual.

That's as far as I got by myself. Now that I've finished with my rushed preliminary tale of my sexual development, I'll move on to the main content of my story.

* * *

When I was almost seventeen, I progressed from secondary school into college. While a lot of the people from my school did the same, the college was large, full of people from lots of schools in the area, and so it was like a fresh start for me. I decided when I started that it was time for a boyfriend. As you may have guessed, I did not want him for love particularly; more to have sex with someone I could be comfortable with.

I should probably take this opportunity to describe myself, which I have been too caught up with sex so far to do. I would describe my physique as curvaceous. I am not stick thin, or even just normal thin, like lots of girls in magazines and films (especially porn films!). But nor am I big and fat. A figure like Renee Zellwegger in Bridget Jones' Diary, perhaps. I think I have a fairly pretty face, but it is always hard to judge your own appearance. I don't wear makeup, I make no major efforts to look pretty for the boys like a lot of girls do, and I wear baggy clothes that hide my figure well. Before college, I had taken no real interest in boys – and vice versa. My love of sex did not imply a love of boys. I found it hard to reconcile the fit men with big dicks that I saw in porn with the teenage boys I saw at school, and thus didn't bother with them.

I will not bore you with the details of how I got together with Jeremy, my first boyfriend. He was blackhaired, averagelooking and a good laugh. I felt I knew him well enough and was comfortable enough to progress things between us. One afternoon we were sat on a sofa in his empty house, kissing. I ran my hand from where I was holding his head down to the waist of his trousers. I undid his zip and thrust my hand into his boxers to find his cock. It was semierect, and as I grabbed it I felt it harden even further until he had a fullon erection. I began stroking the shaft of his dick like I had seen so many times in porn.

The first thought that struck me was that it felt much different to how I had expected. Unlike my fairly solid plastic rabbit, Jeremy's dick was relatively squishy even when erect. And the feeling of his foreskin sliding up and down with my hand was weird to say the least. I continued kissing Jeremy while stroking him, but stopped kissing when I felt something warm and sticky on my hand. I looked down and saw that he had already come

– two rivulets of semen were running down the back of my hand. Jeremy reddened, and ran off to clean his jumper and trousers.

The come on my hand seemed to bear no resemblance to the silvery elixir I had seen it portrayed as in porn. I sniffed my hand, and then licked it. I would not call the taste pleasant but nor was it unpleasant. It was slightly salty, but largely bland. I licked the rest off as well, for good measure.

The next time we were together, Jeremy took me upstairs to his bedroom and tried to get into my trousers. I rejected his advances, partly because I had no pressing desire to get naked in front of him, and also because I already knew what I had and what it did; I was more interested in playing with what he had – his cock. So instead I whipped off his trousers, and took his cock in my hand. I paused, a bit unsure about putting it in my mouth. I figured I had to try it at some point, so it may as well be now. I have a useful straightforward attitude to sex that many girls seem to lack. It's probably why I have all these experiences to write about!

I put my lips around the head of Jeremy's cock and began running my tongue round it. His reaction was instantaneous, moaning loudly. Spurred on by this, I continued to experiment with what I could do with my tongue to please him. What I failed to take into account was that it was not only my first blow job, but Jeremy's too. I almost gagged with surprise as I felt his come filling my mouth. I contemplating spitting it out, but instead tried to swallow it first. I succeeded. Realising that it was not too difficult, I swallowed the rest – which seemed to please Jeremy greatly.

I won't detail every sexual encounter between myself and Jeremy. I'll just tell you about the notable ones, the most noteworthy of all being the night I lost my virginity (if I could still be termed a virgin after my previous escapades). Jeremy convinced me to strip for him one night in his bedroom, and he seemed pleased with the sight of my body, which gave me a nice boost to my confidence. He slipped on a condom, and approached my prone form on his hands and knees. His cock was roughly the same size as my trusty rabbit vibrator , so there was no problem with size as he slid his cock into my pussy. The part that I didn't know what to do with was the rest of him; his body right up against mine, the two of us joined at the hip. I embraced him, and curled my legs around him as he began to thrust.

I had always expected that sex would be about the same as, if not slightly worse than masturbating. The rabbit was, after all, inherently better equipped for the job of bringing a woman to orgasm than a man with a dick. What I now realise is that it is not all about the vagina. His cock pounded away, and his pubic bone seemed to stimulate my clit satisfactorily but it was the feeling of being wrapped round this man who was fucking me hard and fast that seemed to add an inestimable extra amount of pleasure. Jeremy came fairly quickly, but I came even quicker, much to his delight.

Similarly, I did not expect much from my first experience of cunnilingus. I did not see the appeal at first, but when Jeremy first ran his tongue over my clitoris I suddenly understood exactly what the appeal was. Jeremy did not seem to know what to do, but I guided him as best I could, often frantic and demanding as he started doing something really good but then drifted on to something not as fun. Over the course of half an hour I directed Jeremy in what to do until he finally brought me to orgasm.

Jeremy and I began trying other positions. He convinced me to go on top. I took some persuading as I hated the thought of me being on top, my body jiggling all over the place. Jeremy told me that he would love it, and he was right. I ended up on top of him as he moaned and groaned beneath me. Instinctively he grabbed my ass, pulling my ass cheeks apart to expose my asshole to the evening air. Excited by this, I reached behind me and pushed his hands further round, towards my asshole, but Jeremy seemed oblivious to my hint. I ended up frustrated as he came inside me, missing out on both him fingering my ass and my own orgasm. The other position I remember us trying was doggy style, which I enjoyed greatly. Somehow, not seeing him at all as he pounded me from behind was more exciting than the other positions. I managed to get him to grab my ass, but he seemed uninterested in my asshole – to my disappointment.

One evening I summoned up the courage to try and get Jeremy into bondage. As we lay on the bed kissing naked one evening, I suggested that I could tie Jeremy to the bed and then go on top. I still remember his exact words: "You're kidding right?" he said with a laugh, "that stuff's only for weirdos!" After four months and sixteen days, our relationship was over, with Jeremy well and truly dumped.

That experience convinced me that if I wanted to find the ideal guy for me, I should start at the kinky end of things and work back to the vanilla stuff, rather than the other way round.

Of course when trying to meet boys from college it's not like you can quickly find out who was into bondage by doing a search like you could on the internet, my usual favourite source of all things sexrelated. So I just made an educated guess. I followed my theory that while some geeks are boring, dull and unimaginative, the others are a different matter. They may be slightly repressed or shy but underneath they are creative, kinky and dirty. And very horny. Timothy was one such geek. He was flaxenhaired, thin (but not bespectacled as you might have expected), and definitely a virgin.

I got talking to him at college, and invited him back to my house, which seemed to please him no end. Before he arrived, I strategically placed some handcuffs that I had bought for the occasion on a table by the sofa, which we sat down on. When he noticed the cuffs, he seemed very interested. It was a very simple matter to take him up to my bedroom and handcuff him to my bed. I sat, straddling his legs. I decided to confirm what I already suspected.

"You like being tied up don't you Timothy?"

"Yes, I do. Very much," he admitted.

"And you're a virgin, aren't you?"

"Yyes. I've never even kissed a girl." My plan of having him there and then began to dissolve as I realised that I shouldn't rush his first time. In fact, I realised, it could be something to work up to.

"Well let's fix that first then," I told him, and spent the next half hour kissing him. I wouldn't like to say that I taught him how to kiss, as I was never much into kissing, so I doubted I was any good. There were far more interesting things to be doing, but for now I stuck with kissing. I could feel his bulging cock pressing against my groin, even through both our trousers, but I said nothing about it. After half an hour I grew too bored, and decided to use my newfound status of dominatrix to get him to leave, just because I wanted him to. Power corrupts!

"I think you should go now Timothy," I told him, "but promise me this: before you go to sleep tonight you'll think of me, and masturbate. Twice. Because I say so." It was a relatively lame order, but I loved the feeling of power I had from telling him to do this, and knowing that he would do it even though he didn't have to. Timothy agreed, and I released him then showed him out. I went back upstairs, lay on my bed, and masturbated, over the thought of Timothy masturbating over the thought of me – quite possibly the thought of me masturbating in fact! After I had finished, I lay there thinking of what to do next with Timothy. He was so passive and eager – perfect for being my new slaveboy.

The next time Timothy came to my house, I led him upstairs into my room, and sat on my bed. He stood next to the door, looking slightly nervous, gazing down at the floor.

"What shall we do?" he asked, looking up at me furtively.

"I think you should get naked, get on the bed, and get masturbating!" I said, with a laugh. I was joking as part of my mistress role, but Timothy did exactly as I said. He quickly took his clothes off, and knelt on the bed. He took his burgeoning cock in his hand, and began to slowly stroke it. I sat fascinatedly watching him do it. His dick was slightly smaller than Jeremy's, but not by much. There was a thick bush of pubic hair at its base; I would have to do something about that for the future.

"Lie down here," I told him as I shifted round the bed to make room. "I think we should play a game. For every kinky thing that turns you on that you can name, I'll take off a piece of clothing." Timothy's eyes lit up. "But you aren't allowed to touch. If you touch or stop stroking then I'll put all my clothes back on. Got it?"

"Yes," Timothy said, swallowing.

"First one will give you the jumper," I told him, idly fingering the hem of my jumper as I sat between his legs. The excited look in his eyes made it all worth it.

"I like being tiedup and dominated," Timothy said, still slowly stroking himself.

"I already knew that one," I said indignantly. "You can only have my socks for that." I took them off and threw them by the side of the bed.

"I like the thought of being spanked."

"Better," I said, as I took off my jumper. From the look on Timothy's face you would have thought I had just got naked, rather than just letting him see my braenclosed breasts. They are Ccup incidentally, which seems to me to be roughly in proportion with my figure.

"I'd like a girl to put on a strapon and make me lick it." I leaned back and pulled off my trousers before discarding them. This seemed to excite Timothy a lot, although I couldn't tell whether it was the sight of my legs or my panties (with, I suspected, a visible wet patch) that did it. Where I had expected him to go faster and faster, he was going slower and slower – presumably so that he didn't come too early.

"Then I'd like her to use it on my ass," Timothy said. I had seen strapons used in porn before and they looked quite fun to me, so I was pleased with Timothy's revelations so far. I undid my bra, and watched his expression as my breasts came free of its grasp. He must be getting close now, I thought to myself.

"I'd like her to do that, while she made me fuck a blowup doll," Timothy said, breathless at the expectation of my panties being removed. I raised an eyebrow at this last entry, and hooked my fingers inside the waistband of my knickers. Stripping for Jeremy had never been this much fun, that was for sure.

"Stop a second," I told him, not wanting him to miss any of my grand finale. I whipped off my final piece of clothing, and then got on the bed on all fours so that I was straddling Timothy, looking away from him, with my groin above his. There were mere inches between his swollen cock and my moist pussy – Timothy had a good view of them both, and my ass besides. I slowly moved myself (without the smooth grace that I was hoping for) up the bed towards him, my cunt slowly nearing him and the tips of my breasts passing above his dick. Once I got into a position where he would only be able to see and smell my ass and pussy I stayed motionless for a minute, just listening to his quickened breathing as he took it all in.

"Start again," I said, after what must have seemed like an eternity him. I sat up slightly as his hand homed in on his cock so that I could watch. It only took three strokes before he began ejaculating, semen pumping out onto his stomach. It kept going for longer than I had expected, which I decided to attribute to my striptease. I climbed off Timothy, and gave him some tissues to clean up. He dressed and left on my instruction (I'm so mean!). As soon as he did I lay down on the bed where he had been and masturbated to my own orgasm.

The next time I got Timothy up to my room was when he came round for an afternoon of film watching. We watched two films together before I suggested that we go upstairs. Once there, I ordered him to strip and then tied him to the bed, his arms spread to the corners of the bed. I stripped and sat over him as I had done on his previous visit, my pussy hovering tantalisingly over his mouth, and my head looking down at his dick as it hardened. I ran my hands down Timothy's sides and over his torso. He was quite thin, but still had an attractive body. I remembered again about his excess of pubic hair, and once more noted that should I ever give him a blow job, that would need to go.

"Here's the game. In one hour I am going to release you, and we will finish playing. If during that time I have three orgasms, I'll give you a hand job. Otherwise, you'll just have to go without." With that, I lowered myself down onto him. As you've probably noticed, I enjoy these games. I could have just sat and told him to lick, but where would be the fun in that? I prefer to give him a challenge and a possible reward – and guys seem to respond well to that sort of thing.

Timothy started off badly though – I couldn't tell exactly what he was doing but from the position of his face I guessed that he was probably licking my inner labia. It felt nice, but wasn't really going to get him anywhere. I slid backwards slightly so that he would be in the right place, and noticed that his cock twinged as I did so. He began licking my clitoris, and I responded by moaning in pleasure. He tried licking faster and slower, harder and softer, up and down and in circles, guided by my moans and groans. His cock was so hard during this that I thought he might even come without me touching him.

Timothy kept up his licking, and I had two orgasms quite close to each other. I've noticed while writing this that I gloss over a lot of the details. The orgasms took a long time to build up to and felt great, but I summarise them here in a few sentences. I guess after the fact, an orgasm is still an orgasm – the more interesting thing to me is what situation it happened in, which is what I'm trying to write about here. What is more of a turnon now is not that his tongue was on my clitoris, but that it was there because I was making this guy lick me until I had three orgasms before I would even touch his dick for the first time.

After those orgasms, my clitoris got really sensitive, so I got off Timothy for a bit. Twentyfive minutes had passed by then, and another ten before I decided that we should restart. Timothy started slowly, which helped, and took a while to build up to my third and final orgasm, with ten minutes left in the hour. I stayed sitting where I was and began grinding my pussy into Timothy's face while I took his dick in my hand and began to slowly stroke it. It was under a minute before Timothy exploded over his chest, once more releasing more ejaculate than I had expected. Careful not to let him see, I licked some off my hand. It tasted almost exactly the same as Jeremy's, I noted.

I released Timothy and we watched another film. The following day, still pleased with my three orgasms, I set out to the sex shop to try and purchase all the things I would need to fulfill Timothy's fantasy. I bought a strapon dildo with harness and a blowup doll, as well as a lot of lubricant. The shop assistant gave me an odd look, presumably imagining that the doll was for practice with the dildo or something like that.

When Timothy came round to my house a few days later, I told him that I had a surprise for him and whisked him off upstairs. I told him to strip – it's so much easier than doing it myself – and then cuffed his hands behind his back, and lay him down on the bed, face down. I pulled on a pair of latex gloves, making sure that they audibly snapped into place for Timothy's benefit as I walked behind him. I took out my small plug and rolled a condom down onto it, amused by the way that the condom was too big for its small diameter.

"Open wide," I joked, feeling like a dentist in my latex gloves. I lubed the plug and pushed it home into Timothy's ass as he grunted. I had expected to be repulsed by playing with a man's ass, but it was quite fun to watch it take the plug and grab hold of it, like a baby's tight fist grabbing at anything it can find. Once the plug was in, I went to my cupboard and took out the deflated doll. Timothy's eyes widened as he recognised what it was, and he licked his lips. To maximise his anticipation I blew it up slowly as he watched. The doll had pointy breasts, a long nearstraight hole for a mouth, a totally straight hole for a vagina, and a very tightlooking hole for an ass. Once the doll was fully inflated I laid it on its front alongside Timothy, doll and boy next to each other.

"I want you to imagine that this doll is you Timothy," I said, as I tied its hands behind its back to emphasise the point, "because I'm going to demonstrated what I'm about to do to you, by doing it on this doll first." I unzipped my trousers and let them fall to the floor.

I swear that no matter what I did to surprise Timothy, and no matter how surprised he looked, he was always more surprised by the next thing I sprung on him. So when my trousers dropped away to reveal my strappedon dildo, he looked more surprised than he had been by the doll. I got on to the bed and pulled the doll's head back before teasing the end of the dildo into the doll's mouth. I slowly pushed the dildo all the way in, and then all the way out, all the time watching the expression on Timothy's face as he imagined me fucking his face with the dildo. I did it a few more times, before going faster, and then slower again.

"And I'll only stop when you wave your hands," I picked up the doll's tied hands and let them flop down again, "to signify that you are ready for the larger butt plug." I pulled out of the doll and shifted sideways on the bed so that I could enter Timothy's mouth. He tilted his head upwards and opened his mouth, allowing me to slide the dildo easily into his mouth and keep going until I made him gag. I fucked him in the mouth long and slow for a few minutes. I could understand why guys enjoyed the idea of facefucking

– it made me feel very powerful. I noticed Timothy waving his hands, so I stopped and pulled out.

I grabbed the plug and put a condom on it, then lubed it up. I didn't move from where I was, but instead leaned over his prone body to reach his ass. I pulled out the small plug and pushed the medium plug against his slightly loosened asshole. It did not go in at first so I pushed hard and Timothy's ass gave way to the plug.

"Ahhhh, aggghh that hurts. Take it out, take it out," Timothy whined. I pulled the plug out, put the little one back in and sat back down in front of him.

"Quiet," I said irritably, quickly shoving the dildo back into his mouth to shut him up. I fucked his mouth faster this time, and more roughly. Timothy let this go on for quite a while before he dared to wave his arms again, jangling the handcuffs on his wrists. I tried the plug again, and this time it went it without protests from Timothy. I lifted up his torso until he was on his knees on the bed, then I picked up the doll and slid its vagina down onto Timothy's cock. He grunted as I pushed him forwards again and he landed on the inflatable doll.

"No thrusting," I instructed him and sat down on the bed while I waited for his ass to adjust to the plug. We sat there in silence for five minutes until I got bored and slowly pulled the plug out. His ass did not close fully, and remained slightly agape as I pushed the head of my dildo against the hole. Timothy moaned in pleasure as I slowly slid the whole dildo in, idly stroking his buttocks as it went in. I had seen it in porn before but it was still a satisfying thing to watch in reallife; the dildo slowly disappearing inside him.

I thrust slowly and gently at first, watching the dildo slide in and out until I felt that I could up the pace. I grabbed his hair in my hand, pulling his head back, and began to thrust hard. Timothy's body was slammed backwards and forwards, his pelvis sandwiched between mine and the doll's. I wasn't sure if the jiggling of his cock inside the doll caused by my thrusting would be enough for him, but I was enjoying thrusting anyway. One thing that quickly became apparent was quite how tiring thrusting was. I maintained my fast pace for a minute or two but then had to stop to let myself rest. Thankfully it turned out that my thrusting was enough for Timothy, and on my next burst of thrusting he moaned loudly and I realised that he was coming inside the doll.

"Oh god, thank you for doing this," Timothy said as I pulled out.

"Shhh," I told him, and sat between his legs watching as his come dribbled out of the doll's vagina past his cock and down to the doll's ass. When I got bored of that I freed Timothy and let him sit on the bed. It occurred to me while looking at the doll that I would like to be in its place, forced to take cock in all my various orifices.

"Will you dominate me at some point? I think I'd like that," I told him idly. The expression on his face showed his response. It was like watching a five yearold being told on Christmas Eve that Santa didn't exist. With one suggestion I had managed to shatter his illusion of me as a total dominatrix, and I knew then that he could never give me everything that I desired from a man; one such thing was being dominated by him. We broke up that day.

I often think back to Timothy and wonder if I was a bitch to him. On one hand, all he ever really got from me was strapon sex and a handjob, and was still a virgin when we split up because he wasn't right for me in bed. But then again, I try to remind myself, he enjoyed every minute of it and I did go out of my way to fulfill a kinky fantasy.

After Timothy I decided to try and find a guy who, like me, would want to switch between dominating and being dominated.