Diary of a slut; a slave in training

Tuesday

I have submitted to Master M on 4 occasions previously but haven’t had the chance to visit him for about 6 months. He is an active gay Master with a dungeon (in his attic!) and likes my visits. He has a number of boys, is very busy and always plays safe. This afternoon, I visited him at 2.00pm and stayed for 3+ hours. We always start by talking and getting me relaxed which is very re-assuring since I arrive in an apprehensive state. I am normally heterosexual and quite assertive but the need to submit in a gay relationship is very strong and comes over me every month or so (perhaps, although I am all male, I am linked to some female lunar calendar of desire?! But I hear from many in D/s that this is not uncommon)

Master strips me, exploring my body as he undresses me while I stand in the slave position (hands on head). He loves fondling my tits and balls and then my buttocks. I find this very arousing and puts me in a receptive mood. I yearn for him to touch my anus but he does so only in passing, saving that for later. He enjoys kissing me which I do not find easy but I submit to it since I know it appeals to him. My trousers and pants lowered, he takes possession of me mentally as well as physically and then orders me to strip. I am quickly naked and rubbing myself against his clothed body, stroking him freely and daring to get closer and closer to his commanding cock. He likes to toy with my tits, pinching them and flicking them and I know he likes me to suck and nibble his which I am happy to do in order to arouse him. Soon I am kneeling and nuzzling his trousers and then he strips and this time, he ordered me to suck him, taking his thick 8 inch cock in my mouth as deep as I can. He allows me to suck him hungrily, face fucks me for a short while and then puts me over his knees while he sits on the sofa. He spanks me with increasing hardness and soon has me writhing. It is humiliating but it a necessary process in establishing his command of my will power and body. I sometimes hold his cock for comfort as he spanks me and sometimes he caresses mine but I usually stay flaccid and shrivelled while I am being used. I wish I could go hard for him to handle me but it doesn’t happen very often.

He took me upstairs to his fuck room since the dungeon is cold in winter. There is a large double bed at the right height for him to use my arse and large mirrors beside the bed. He put me on all fours and lubed me sparingly this time so his cock was painful when he pushed it into me. He forced his way into me. The very first time he fucked me he said greedily, “Now you are mine” I didn’t really believe it but he was right. I am his when he takes command of my arse. He rides me considerately to begin with but rapidly he drives deeper into me and fucks me hard for some minutes. This is painful because he is large and I am not properly used as a cock hole very often. I try to process the pain of him deep inside me but today I found it quite difficult. There are times when he fucks me slowly with smooth long strokes and my slave arse responds to this with joy but today he was hard and deep and it was difficult to find pleasure. I set my mind to accept I am just a slave and submitted and groaned and writhed under his forceful mastery of my body, his powerful thickness deep inside me, making me squirm.

He pulled out and commandingly he put me onto my back and dragged my arse to the edge of the bed so he could shove his Mastercock into me hard and violently. He pushed my legs up over his shoulders, my head back looking up at him with respect and desire and my bum surrendered and open to his lust. He fucked me for me for a long time ( 20 minutes, I think but I’m not free to measure or resist), driving his cock head deep into my rectum, forcing his Mastery into the very core of me. He holds my thighs apart to spread my bum cheeks for his pleasure, conquering my arse relentlessly. I lie back, hands helpless and surrendered but sometimes I reach out and express my gratitude, stroke his controlling arms gripping my legs, sometimes caressing his muscular thighs braced to drive his Lord cock imperiously into my welcoming hole, occasionally reaching to appreciate his clenched buttocks thrusting his cruel shaft into the yielded softness of my bum. He withdraws on some thrusts so I feel his knob prising my arse lips open only for him to bury it deep again in my soft fleshy slave channel. And then he bucks hard and brutal so I feel his pelvis ram against my arse hole and force a groan out of my open mouth. He smiles with masterful amusement and I try to thank him for using me as I crave and deserve. He leans forward and kisses me on the mouth, mutters callous praise for his well fucked boy and celebrates his pleasure by ramming his cock deeper into me with the full force of his muscular body.

He pulls out and wipes his cock, wipes my seeping, greased arse and moves beside me to shove his cock, hot and softening from the depths of my slave arse, into my wet and grateful mouth. “Suck me boy,” he commands harshly and I do in servile gratitude for using me so masterfully and for giving me release from the storm force invasion of my boy bum.

He put cuffs on my wrists and ankles and spread me chained to the four corners of the bed, arousing my subservience. He put suction caps on my nipples which made them swell and super sensitive. He used a pin wheel on my chest, my balls and thighs and then about my arse sending sparks of pain sharding through my writhing body. He attaches cruel clips to my balls and cock, spiteful searching pain aggravated when he smacks my cock and balls. I moan and writhe surrendering the last vestiges of will power to him. He removes them and the pain is worse as the blood returns. He removes the suction caps and my tits stand blood filled and vulnerably gross on my chest so he can pin wheel them and flick them and make me squirm and I admit that for this slave, tit torture connects directly to my arse and makes me crave to be fucked again. So he does. He makes me suck and pinch his nipples which for Master makes him grow thick and hard again. Removing my cuffs he puts me nose down, arse high, thighs split spread on the bed, lubes me roughly and ploughs his hard cock back into my slave hole. And he fucks me for ages, smooth and long to make me moan in joy, brutal buck thrusts to make me howl like a slave, hard and fast so I have to beg for mercy. Deep and relentless he claims every inch of my will and body. I watch in the mirror as my rounded bum surrenders utterly to his thrusting conquest, my hands reach out behind me to caress and plead with his hard working muscled thighs, cup his balls tight against my pain scored arse hole, grasping in pleading surrender for his hands and arms that grasp my hips and hold me subject to his tireless lust. This is mastery, this is so sore humbled slave struggling to do its duty. I look in the mirror and love to view us as the archetypal tableau of Master and boy.

And then he draws out of me, lies by my side. I pay homage to his cock warm and red from conquest, suckle on his nipples. We talk, master and slave at ease in our company and he tugs my stirring cock that he commands, fingers my arse that is his and makes me groan in want. And I am so fucked and glowing but I feel I have no more to offer. We part with a kiss and I am relieved to take some rest. And now I am writing of this afternoon and know that my cock strains to spurt, my bottom is proudly marked with the red of his spanking hand, my arse hole throbs, sore to touch and is not mine any more. I am His and crave to go back and strip and bend and hurt again for Master.

Wednesday

I am a slut. This evening I sit on a well fucked bum and know I am sore with pride and achievement. I was fucked long and hard yesterday and found it hard to take. In the evening I spoke to my Mentor online. Three years ago my Mentor identified the innate submissive in me and used me a few times. He keeps in touch to monitor my progress and provides advice but now lives abroad, too far away to have me submit to Him any more. He was pleased to hear of my afternoon’s submission and He told me that I should give myself to Master once again soon in order to develop my skills further. I went to sleep yesterday unsure if I could do such a thing, convincing myself that I could not physically manage another session with such a used and painful body.

I woke and was convinced that I had met my limits for the time being and should wait until the mind and body were fresher. However, as this morning wore on, I knew I needed to break the barrier of fear and uncertainty and I contacted Master M. He is a generous and greedy cockmaster and he agreed to see me for a brief, no nonsense session this afternoon. I hurried to Him, apprehensive and still uncertain if I could manage the inevitable pain and possible disappointment of failing to please Him and His powerful lust. My legs ached from being forced up and apart, my bum cheeks were still marked from his heavy hand and my anus was sore from the way it had been stretched the day before. Deep from within me bubbled up the innate submissive desire to push my limits and know how much I could suffer for His pleasure. I drove at speed, driven by my need for self discovery.

It was glorious. I write this with my throbbing anus declaring itself mightily fucked and my frequent trips to the lavatory confirming that my body is no longer mine and no longer as it was. I have been transformed into a slave slut and I love the new definition of me, learning to care for and prepare my body for Master. It concentrates the mind wonderfully and fills me with sexually heightened anticipation.

Every time I go to the lavatory I think of Master! How romantic? But when you are a slave you no longer have secrets, no longer have your own body, no longer have modesty. You learn to recognise the crude biological facts as they really are, accepting what a slave is with honesty. My bowels are now subject to His needs and that means my arse must be ready at all times for Him. I crouch and defecate through bruised lips that throb with pleasure. I don’t wipe my arse with paper lest I scratch it. Master doesn’t want a damaged fuck hole. I wash it gently with warm water for cleanliness and cold water to soothe my swollen lips, fingering my hole with easily given love. No wonder that I long to kiss his Mastercock with my hungry bum.

When I arrived Master was waiting, eager to use me. That’s so flattering to a slave. Stroked and swiftly stripped, I found it easy to express my want and submission as Master paid exquisitely demanding attention to my bum. Clearly communication is so important between slave and Master as long as slave does not demand but indicates what helps and turns it on. It was so lovely and natural being naked for Him once again, having him stroke and pinch my tits, the buttons which trigger my anal desire.  When he fondled my cock and balls I thrust forward to present them in gift. When he caressed my bottom, I rounded it, bent forward in aroused hunger, parting my legs to make an accessible present of myself. He kept me standing and spanked me, then bent me forward to place my hands on a well placed arm chair. He probed me deliciously, fingering and checking my arse lips. He spanked me firmly till I squeaked and writhed, moving my bum to show my pleasure, want and tension. Master greased me and fingered me imperiously, claiming my hole as His, dilating the sphincters until they relax for Him. God it was lovely having Him take possession of me. Standing and leaning forward on a chair for support, back straight and horizontal is such a good position to surrender myself and express the slut in me. I pushed my bum out, bent my knees to make it rounded and parted my cheeks as lewdly as I could. I wanted to declare to Master how badly I wanted Him. I gyrated my hips, moaning and presenting my bum as blatantly as I could, swept up in the joy of being turned on by his conquering hands.

He removed his shirt and made me stand and pinched my tits and then ordered me to my knees. I did not respond as quickly as He wanted and He pinched them sharply with his nails. God, did I respond and kneel quickly. I suckled his lovely nipples and leant to roll them tight between my fingers as He likes, and then roll them between my lips and gently tease them with my teeth. I am not good yet but I know training and practice will improve me. He stepped out of his trousers and I felt his cock pressed against my chest, thick and threatening. I bent to take the swollen knob in my mouth. I could spend hours sucking on this royal shaft learning the techniques to gratify Him properly. I could spend hours writing about the methods that I want to use but never seem to have enough to time to implement. I am impetuous and greedy and suck with more hunger than skill, taking his knob into my mouth as far as I can, licking the shaft and then surrendering to his face fuck as he drives into my throat. I try to work my tongue around the enormity of its majesty but he is so big in my mouth I don’t seem to have room to move my tongue about his swelling knob. He is far too big and long for me to take him all in and when he did thrust deep I was soon gagging and drooling and choking like a novice. After a few strong thrusts he lifted up my mouth to kiss me and I knew that was loving praise for trying. And then, he ordered me into the fuck room. “On your knees” and quickly he lubed me and fitted his condom as I spread myself and buried my nose apprehensively in the sheets. He wasted no time. He took the Lord cock and rammed it into my begging hole.  He fucked me hard and slow and made me feel very enslaved and content. The abiding sensation was one of being happily conquered and pleasure in both mind and bum.

What I remember (now some months later) is that on this second visit, I was an eager, easier fuck hole. My arse was unquestioningly his. My boi cunt was soft and surrendered.  He doesn’t like the term boy “cunt” for he is all Gay and likes a boy to be a boy. And how I like to be His boy and feel Him opening my boi hole for his pleasure. But I cannot help but think my limp little cock is His clitoris and needs to be teased contemptuously. He said in another connection that I like verbal abuse as well as physical (ab)use. It cannot be physical abuse for I give myself so willingly and hungrily. I don’t resist. I know I am learning to express my submission with my body and my mind. I beg to be used like this and revel in being the slave to His Mastercock. I am gradually learning to lose my inhibitions and work for him as his pleasure toy. I have so much to learn in the way of giving him joy. I need to improve my oral and anal service and need to concentrate on the skills of arousing and pleasuring him. To be verbally abused is certainly so good. It confirms and develops the slave in me and I need to pay attention to the words he mutters to me in French and which in the heat of the passion I don’t always hear and understand. Perhaps I must ask him to repeat and explain the phrases to me so that I can take them away, repeat and practise them and learn them to mark my mind with the submission that he likes.

I suppose that if I am honest, I crave that He takes control not only of my arse but also controls my sexual need for him. I know I need to spurt for him and then in the after glow of my own gratification, concentrate on Master’s pleasure doused in the hormones of my own release. It would put my own sexual pleasure within his control and make me subordinate all to his Mastery. When Master wanted me to jerk for him I could not achieve it and I was permitted to leave. When I told my mentor he spluttered and said that a boi who could not cum for His Master should be whipped. I know he is right. It puts a new level of submission into my mind.

Master fucked me, photographed me, made me suck His warm cock, still hard and warm from my arse and then he played with my boi hole, fingering me and inserting four digits, he later told me. I was in relaxed heaven, stretched and submissive but enjoying the attention. I am so anally receptive that I know I love being used in this way. Master caned me gently at my request. He used 3 or 4 different implements: the cane, the crop, the strap and made me hot and sore but they were neat and measured strokes, three or four with each to make me writhe but they didn’t make me howl. I would like to know if beating my arse arouses Master but we didn’t have the time to explore this. Perhaps another time….       

This second visit gave me insight into what slave training might really do for me. It made me move deeper into the mind set of submission. It helped me express my want with greater abandon and lewdness. It gave me the freedom to express myself as a developing fuck boy. I know that slavery changes me completely and I love the freedom of saying and doing things I never thought I could admit and proclaim with such conviction. It enables me to cast off my controlled independent clothed persona and display myself with naked honesty, no longer in control of my body but conscious of preparing and presenting myself as Master’s fucktoy.

To sum up, I love Master using my arse, my mouth, my imagination and my pain for His amusement. I love being put in the humbler, having a hook put in my bum, being made to do only those things which please Master no matter if they please me. I love being spanked and humiliated.

Master, I love You being rough with my tits, my cock and balls, my mouth and my eager arse. I may sufer and squirm under Your use but afterwards, I lie in throbbing happiness and pull my cock in abjection and worship and cum for You softly and longingly.