King Pharaoh

Rape Me Please!

I want you to rape me please #1

If you would’ve told me when I was 18, I’d not just rape over a 100 females, but make a livin’ doing it, I would’ve laughed dead in your face. Then I would have pulled my gun out, put it to your head and tell you to either buy some heroin or get the fuck off my block. That was my life then. I was heavy into the street life. Let me tell it, I was next up and coming Scarface. But after you read this, you’ll see fate had different plans for me.

       Answer me this, can you pinpoint exactly the moment your life changed for better or worse? Something so drastic that no matter what you did you couldn’t go back to the old you.

       I can, for me it was three measly words . . . I want you to rape me.

       Even now, years later, I can still hear her say those six words as if her sweaty body was right next to me as I write this.

       Her name was Tina and she favored a younger more exotic Scarlett Johansson. The thing is was Tina was fucked up in the head. Her father sexually abused her and her sister. Whatever he did to them, it left them twisted. I didn’t know of it at first, but it would be that twistedness I’d fall in love with.

       Tina was 16 years old when I started fuckin’ her. But the darkness of her sexual abuse mentally matured her way beyond her years on this earth. Tina was one of those white girls who were drawn to black guys like me. You know the untamable, gun totting, drug dealing, big dick slanging’ bad boy type.

       When we went at it, we really went at it. We never made love or anything close to it. We straight up fucked. Besides we couldn’t be any more than that, because she may’ve been my sex doll, but she was my best friend’s girlfriend also.

       Yeah yeah, I know. It was fucked up of me, but that is a different blog.

That particular night we were four hours deep into our fuck-o-thon. We went at it like two cocked out pornstars going for the money shot. We slapped, clawed, bit, pulled hair, grunted and growled to our earth-shattering orgasm together. We fell apart from each other. Flat on our backs staring at the ceiling, gasping for air. Then out of nowhere came those six words that changed my life forever.

       “I want you to rape me.”

       “What the fuck you say?”

       “I want you to rape me.”

       Neither of us looked at each other. We just laid there on sweat soaked sheets gazing at the ceiling. Moans and groans from the porn flick played in the background.

       “Rape you . . . are you serious?”

       “Yessss.”She moaned.

       “If you tell me to rape you, it’s not rape.”

       “Yes it is.”

       “How?”

It’s all in the mind. If I believe it’s real, then it’s real. But that’s not the problem.”

“What’s the problem then?”

       “I need you to believe it’s real.”

My mind was officially blown.  This was some next level freak shit. I’m not going to lie I was scared only because of how intrigued I was at the idea . . . but I didn’t want her to know that.

“Why me?”

Tina rolled over and draped her leg over mine, and laid her head on my chest. She grabbed my dick, and massaged it. “Because I trust you.”

I would later find out that Tina had serious trust issues when it came to guys. And her telling me she trusted me was a really, really big deal for her.

“So will you do it, will you rape me?” she started jerking my dick a little harder, and then a little faster. “Will you?”

Every time she said the word rape it sent a guilty chill of pleasure straight to my dick.

“You can rape me anyway you want.”

“Anyway I want? You act like I did it before.”

“What if I show you how I want to be raped? What if I talk you through it, would you do it then? Would you rape me?”

God damn this bitch had me open! My dick was harder than it has ever been.

The things Tina whispered in my ear she wanted me to do to her were crazy. If I would’ve let her continue jerking me without question I would’ve exploded. My nut probably would’ve hit the ceiling. As bad as I wanted that, something didn’t feel right. I felt guilty that I was getting off on it.

“Nah yo, stop . . . stop it.”

Tina kept going.

“Yo, I said stop!” I yanked her hand off my dick. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Why does something have to be wrong with me?” You of all people I thought would. . .”

“Would what?! Yo, I ain’t with that shit!”

“I can’t tell.” she grabbed my dick while it was still hard. “So you’re not going to do it?”

“Fuck no!”

Tina looked me in the eyes. I could tell she was hurt. “You know what, that’s too bad, because I really want you to be the one. Obviously, you can’t see how much this means to me.”

At the time I didn’t know the depth of what Tina wanted me to do to her. It was more than just rough sex. Tina had invited me into the darkest moment of her life. The moment her father came into her room and pulled back the covers for the first time. When he climbed in the bed with her and rubbed his dick in between her butt.

Consciously or unconsciously by asking me to rape her, Tina was asking me to help her reclaim that traumatic moment. Strip it of its power over her, not by erasing it completely, but rewriting the script like a scene in the movie. And this time I was the leading man.

But like I said, at this time I didn’t understand the depth of what she wanted me to do to her. . .I don’t think she did either.

King Pharaoh

Rape Me Please!

Be Careful of what you ask for . . . and who you ask. #2

One thing I learned in life is things just don’t happen by chance. Everything happens for a reason, no matter how dark or twisted he reason.

That night Tina asked me to rape her I could’ve been anywhere. Like on the block with my boys slangin’ dope, getting’ money like I normally did. I could’ve been with any other girl I was fuckin’ at the time.

But I wasn’t. . . I was right where destiny wanted me to be.

Same with Tina. I knew I wasn’t the only guy fuckin’ her. I knew at least two dudes she was creepin’ with. She could’ve easily asked one of them to do it.       

But she didn’t . . . she asked me.

Tina straddled my waist. At first I thought she was going to grind on my dick until it was hard again. I thought the whole rape thing was a dead issue, and we were about to get back to our fuck-o-thon.

I thought wrong.

Tina leaned down and kissed me. Right then I knew something was wrong. First of all, me and Tina never kissed. Second, even though it was just a peck it felt like a long kiss goodbye, and I wasn’t feeling that at all.

“I got to go.”

“What?”

“I said I got to go.” Her eyes glossed over.

Tina climbed off me and started getting dressed in a hurry. I laid there and watched. She was bluffing she wasn’t going nowhere. When she was done getting dressed she stared at me.  Damn she was fine.

“Ayo, are you serious? You are leaving for real?”

“Are you going to do it?” Tina stood with a hand on her hip, face flushed red while angrily biting her bottom lip.

I didn’t say anything, and because I didn’t Tina walked out my bedroom. The bitch really left me laying there ass naked. I don’t know about you, but that shit don’t happen to me. It was a low blow to my ego. So I jumped up, ran down the stairs and caught her as she was just about to walk out the front door.

“Yo, stop playing Tina, getcha ass back in here!” I grabbed her arm and yanked her back in.

“Get the fuck off of me!” She yanked her arm back.

“Bitch take your ass back upstairs!”

“No!”

“No?” That fucked me up. I wasn’t use to a girl telling me no. I’m not that kinda guy you say no to period.  If you don’t give me what I want . . . I’ll take it. “Yo, Tina I’m not playing with you!”

“Rape me then!” Tina said getting up in my face.

“What?”

“Rape me, because the only way you’ll ever fuck me again is if you take it.”

Tina had me hot, and what got me hotter was the fact she seen firsthand how crazy I can get when pissed off. She knew what I was capable of. But yet and still, she kept up with the bullshit.

I grabbed her arm, and dragged her back towards my bedroom. She kicked, punched, clawed until she broke free. That only pissed me off more.

Tina ran for the door I caught her again, grabbed her arm, and spun her around. In the same motion she slapped me. And a split second later I smacked the shit out of her so hard, she spun twice before hitting the floor. I thought she was going to ball up, and cry her eyes out. Cower into a corner and, and flinch every time I reached for her. That’s not what happen though. When Tina looked up at me, she had this sadistic grin on her face. It was like someone hit me with a million volts of electricity. But it was the look in her eyes that did it. I don’t know how, but in that moment. I had an epiphany. Suddenly, I knew what she wanted from me. It was like blood to a shark, and soon as she got a whiff she went in for the kill.

“Yessss, do it you son of a bitch!” Tina growled through her teeth. “Rape me! . . . Rape me! . . . Rape me! …

There I stood naked over Tina, chest heaving, fist balled up, and my heart pounding like crazy. My dick was bigger, stronger, and meaner than ever. Never in my life had I felt so excite, so alive.

I snatched her up by her shirt, and pinned her to the refrigerator by her throat. The look she gave me then would become my addiction. It wasn’t the same look as before.

It was a helpless, powerless look mixed with a heavy dose of fear. A fear of what I could do to her . . . what I was going to do to her. That look made me feel like a lion staring at a blood covered lamb.

The way her wide eyes glossed over with tears, the way her bottom lip quivered and nose flared. The way her teeth chattered beaded across her face, all of it was so real . . . so intoxicating. I fed off it like the lion I was.

From that point, everything came natural to me. I ripped her shirt off, then her bra. She fought with even harder than she did when she tried to leave. I matched her level of intensity blow for blow.

I tore her jeans and panties off. She was completely naked, and even though I’ve seen her naked a thousand times, under these circumstances it was like the first time all over again.

I can’t remember exactly everything that happened, just flashes. Like when I had her bent over the kitchen table, in the full nelson gorilla fuckin’ her in the ass. Putting a butcher knife to her neck, telling her if she told anybody what I did to her I’d kill her. Duct-taping her mouth, hands, and throwing her in the closet.

Everything else was a blur.

I do remember when it was all over, and me and Tina were laying in the bed what she said to me.

“Damn baby, you sure you never raped a girl before?” Tina said gasping for air. “That was little too good for your first time.”

“Yeah, whatever yo.”

“What’s up, are you okay?”

“I’m good.” I mumbled. The truth was I was more than good. . . I felt like a lost soul that found his religion.

“Good . . . so are you ready to rape me now?”

“What?”

King Pharaoh’s

Rape Me Please!

Welcome to the Darkside of Sexual Desire. #3

       The darkside of sexual desire is a place like no other you’ve been to. No strip club, peepshow, or whorehouse comes close to it. Don’t get me wrong, they serve their purpose, but they have their limits.

The darkside of sexual desire is a place with no rules to abide by, ethics and morals don’t exist, and there are no limits to your perversion. You won’t be ostracized for the depth of your deviancy. That can be a good thing or a very bad thing.

Believe it or not you have a darkside. We all have a darkside. Some are darker than others. Some people don’t know they have a darkside until something triggers it. Amy number if things can trigger it; an extremely graphic porn movie, a scene in a sadomasochistic novel, a dark fantasy someone told you, or some type of sexual abuse as a child.

Tina was my trigger. “

So are you ready to rape me?”

“What the hell you call what I just did to you?”

“That was rape, but not how I wanted to be raped.”

“Rape is rape.”

“There is more than one way to rape someone . . . a lot more.”

“Did you cum?”

“Of course, I came.”

“So what’s the difference?”

Tina straddles my dick. “Hmm, how can I put this? Alright, I like chocolate”

I smiled, “I know you like chocolate, yo.”

“Funny,” she playfully punched me in the chest. “If you gave me a Hershey bar I’ll eat it, and enjoy it, because I love chocolate. Now if I had a choice, I’d eat Godiva chocolate over Hersey chocolate any day.”

“So what I just did to you was the Hersey chocolate?”

“Yep.” Her smiled got bigger. “Will you do it?”

Tina grinded her pussy into my dick as an enticement, t he look in her eyes made my heart pound heavy. It was like she was teetering on bursting out in tears or exploding in excitement. I’d known Tina for a long time, and I could tell when she really wanted something. . . and she really wanted this.

What did it for me, was knowing she wanted something so twisted, and perverted done to her. It was the darkness of it all I think I was attracted to.

“What do you want me to do?”

The excitement in her eyes exploded. She gave me a thousand kisses, and would’ve given a thousand more, if I didn’t stop her.

“Chill Tina, tell me what you want before I change my mind?”

Tina hopped off me and grabbed her sleep-over bag. “Go take a shower. Don’t use your soap, use this soap, and put this cologne on afterwards.”

I took the original scented “Irish Spring” bar of soap, the “Old Spice” bottle and headed to the shower.

“Hold on,” she passed me a brown silk pajama suit, “put this on when you get out.”

“How did you know I was going to say yes? You had to know I was, in order to bring this shit.”

“Every time I came over I brought it. It’s just this time I had the nuts to ask you. I didn’t know you were going to say yes, but I was hoping you did. Now go take a shower.”

Ten minutes later, I was done and headed back to my bedroom. When I stepped through the threshold it was like I stepped into somebody else’s room. All the lights were off, except for a nightlight plugged into a wall. It wasn’t my night lite, neither was the pink throw blanket draped across the bed. The whole mood of the room had changed.

Tina came out my other bathroom in a Barbie nightie that came down to her knees. Her hair was done in two long pig-tails. In her hand was an old torn stuffed doll with a missing eye.

“What’s all this shit?”

“My Godiva chocolate.” Tina walked up to me, and inhaled deeply. Her eyes rolled up in her head for a second. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah, yo.”

Tina climbed in the bed, and was just about to follow.

“No I want you to stand by the door, and just look at me as I pretended to sleep.”

I did what she asked.

“Stick your hand in your pants and squeeze your dick.” Tina pulled one of the spaghetti straps off her shoulders, exposing her nipple.”

“Yo, this shit is corny. Why would I stand by the door playing with myself looking at your nipple? When I can go over and suck on it.”

Because you’re not standing there. You’re somebody else.”

“Who am I?”

“That’s not important.”

“You’re not even looking at me.”

“I’m pretending to be asleep.”

King Pharaoh

Rape Me Please

The Next Night# 4

The next night I was back on my block hustling. After that shit with Tina, I needed some normalcy in my life. It’s crazy to think totting guns, and slangin’ dope was normal for me . . . but it was.

Even though I was in my element, my mind was a million miles away. It was so hard to stay focused. I couldn’t stop thinking of Tina, and the things we did. Something in me felt funny, like what me and Tina did was wrong, but on a whole new level of wrong.

It was kinda of like feeling I got when I first fucked Tina, knowing she was my best friend’s girl. Yeah, a part of me felt fucked up about it. The other part of me got off on the fact, I had my dick all in her mouth, swallowing my nut, and putting it in her ass. Then sending her back home to him, and kissing him in the mouth.

I’m a piece of shit. I don’t deny that. I never said I was an angel or anything close to it. The actual fucking wasn’t what got me off. Fucking was fucking, I’d fucked plenty of girls, but with Tina it was the deceit behind the fuck that got me off. Marquis de Sade it best, “If it is the dirty element that gives pleasure to the act of lust, then the dirtier it is, the more pleasurable it is bound to be.

I definitely agree.

But what Tina and me did last night, I don’t know, it was different . . . darker. It was much deeper than guilty pleasure.

“So what does it matter if I’m doing it or not?”

“Are you doing it?”

“Yeah, I’m doing it.”

“That’s all I need to know.”

About five minutes of silenced passed. I was just about to kick this crazy bitch out of my bed when she said. . .

“When I turn on my slide climb in the bed. Do it as if you’re being sneaky, like you’re not trying to wake me up.”

That was enough. “Now what?”

“Rub your hand down my back.”

I did.

“Lower . . . lower…lower,” Tina’s voice became soft dreamy like. “Now lift my nightie up, and pull my panties down. No, not down to my ankles, just down over my butt. Pull your dick out and slowly rub it between my butt cheeks. Yeah like that, mmmm, just like that.”

My dick was hard, but I wasn’t into it, I didn’t understand it. This was some weird shit very, very weird shit. It didn’t feel right. Then it hit me, the nightlight, the Barbie nightie, the pink blanket, the pigtails and me standing at the door . . . What the fuck!

“Who did this to you Tina?” I whispered in her ear. “Who am I pretending to be?”

“It’s not important I told you.”

I want to know?”

“Shhhh, please don’t ruin it. I’m almost there.”

“Where’s there?”

“Shhhhhh, don’t, please I need this.”

And I needed to understand what the fuck this was all about, and who the fuck was I pretending to be.

Do you think because I got off on it, it meant I was sick, and twisted like Tina’s father? I think that was what was bothering me. No matter how hard I came, the idea of being anything like Tina’s piece of shit father, had me fucked up.

Who was I supposed to be mad at, Tina’s father for molesting her or Tina for bringing me into her darkside?  Should I be mad at myself for cumming so hard?

The whole situation had me so twisted, I was spacing out on my block for a few minutes at a time. That wasn’t cool. The block wasn’t the place to get caught slippin’. At any time, I could go from zero to sixty in a blink of an eye. You got drive-bys from rival street crews, crazed dope fiends running up on the block, with AIDS infected needles trying to rob you, and last but not least, you got the undercover detectives to deal with. If you get caught slippin’, it could mean your life, no bullshit, and me knowing this I still couldn’t stay focused. That’s how fucked up Tina had me.

“Ayo son, you a’ight? You have been on some distant shit all night. What’s up?” Ronnie my right hand man, said to me.

“I’m good son.”

“Yeah, whatever, yo. Get your mind right or you’re going to get us all killed out here.

“I said I’m good!” I barked backed.

Ronnie looked me up and down, and went back to dealing with the dope fiends. He was right, he was a hundred percent right. I had to get a grip, and quick. It was hard, on a few occasions Tina wandered back into my head. Luckily, it was an uneventful night.

Soon as we shut down the block, I lit up some weed, and cruised the streets. I realized no matter how much I replayed what happened in my mind, I’d never make sense of it. I needed someone to talk to. For real, I needed to talk to Tina. There were a million questions I wanted to ask her. The thing was, because of the way things ended, I wasn’t sure I was going to see Tina again.

What I think happened, was we both got our first taste of the Darkside of Sexual Desire, and it was more than we could both handle.

For about ten minutes I grinned my dick in between her butt cheeks. A few times, I had to stop because between the things she was telling me to say, and the softness of her ass cheeks, I came close to bussin’ a nut a few times.

Tina turned and laid on her back, and pulled her nightie up to her neck. Then again, she pretended to be sleeping.

“What do you want me to do?”

“Climb on top of me. Put the tip of your dick in my pussy, but pretend it is too big for me. Pretend I’m too tight.”

I climbed on top of her, and pretended I was too big for her. Tina played hell the out her part. She tensed up, and even made the appropriate face. Her bottom lip quivered as she tore at her pillow.

“Owww! You hurting me Daddy,” she whined.

There was moment or two of silence. It was like someone hit pause on the DVD. I was waiting for Tina to tell me what to say, but she didn’t.

“What do you want me to say?”

With her face to the side, and her eyes closed Tina answered with a sigh, “Make something up. “She said it as if she was annoyed.

“Make something up? Hold up, this is your thing.”

“I know, I know, but every time I tell you what to say, I feel like I’m being pulled away.”

“Being pulled away from what?”

“I don’t know how to explain it. Every time I get close. . .”

“Close to what, an orgasm?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Tina said softly, “but it’s more than just that.”

I didn’t have a clue what Tina was talking about. But somehow I understood what she needed from me. This wasn’t just about us. This had nothing to do with me at all. This was about Tina, and her D.S.D. (Darkside of Sexual Desire). I was nothing more than a prop. The same as her night light, the pink blanket, the Old Spice and the Irish Spring soap.

Tina needed me to keep her in the moment. For as long as it took. Don’t ask me how I came to that understanding so fast. I just did. Without any warning I climbed out of the bed.

“What, where are you going?” Don’t go, I’ll tell you what to say. Please, don’t get out of the bed.”

Tina grabbed me desperately. The tears in her eyes said it all.

“Chill, we are going to take it from the top.” I went and stood at the door, and slid my hand in my pants squeezing my dick like before. Tina’s frown turned to a weak smile. She laid down on her side with her back to me.

We took it from the top, and we went through the same motions as before. I remember every word she told me to say. This time without the interruptions, it made a big difference. I felt more submerged in it, a part of her original fabric of memory. The bizarreness of it all had me wide open.

Eventually, we made it back to that point Tina asked me to improvise. I rolled her back on her back and pulled her nightie up to her neck.  That was when I got kinda nervous.

Yo, it might sound crazy, but I didn’t want to fuck it up. Some kinda pride grew out of being able to keep Tina in the moment. It was almost like the pride a guy gets, when unselfishly he gives a girl an orgasm.

Fingering Tina’s pussy was just me stalling. I wasn’t stuck. I knew what she wanted from me. Her telling me what to say, and me coming up with things to say was the difficult part. Put it this way, say you’re this super macho alpha male guy. Every girl that crosses your path you fuck. To everybody including yourself, you’re the muthafuckin’ man. Okay, let’s say somehow someway you find yourself in front of a male gay porn flick, and your dick gets hard.

What then?

Same dilemma, different circumstances. What if there was a hidden child molester buried deep inside me, waiting for the opportunity to surface, this would be that opportunity it needed. Finding out you might be gay is one thing. Finding out you’re a child molester is another.

The thing I’d come to realize is, on the Darkside of Sexual Desire, it was okay to be Tina’s piece of shit father. It was okay to fondle her, molest her, and rape her. It was okay to use my influence on her as her father, to manipulate and have my way with her . . . because it wasn’t real.  More importantly, Tina wanted it.

If I had that understanding at that moment, I wouldn’t have hesitated. But at that moment, subconsciously some part of me must’ve understood . . . because I climbed on top of Tina and said…

“Muffin, you know… you…you can’t tell your mother about this.” I put my dick on the lips of her pussy.

Tina moaned softly, “Why Daddy?”

“Your mother wouldn’t understand, nobody would understand. So you got to promise me you won’t tell anybody.”

“I won’t tell”

“That’s a good girl,” and pushed inside her slowly as if I was to big

“Owwww! Daddy you hurting me, owww, stop it!”

“Shhhh, you’re a big girl, you can take it.”

“Owwww Daddy! You’re hurting me! Owww!”

“Shhhh, Muffin, you can take it . . . you’re a big girl now.”

I buried my face in the nape of her neck. Then I started giving her long hard strokes, with a two second pause between each thrust. There was something about that rhythm that drove Tina crazy. She started clawing at my back and kicking wildly. Her screams were earsplitting.

This was what she wanted right? What she begged me for. She wanted me to be her piece of shit father.   Okay, that’s exactly what I gave her.

I grabbed both of her wrists and pinned them above her head, with one hand. Her screams went up to the highest pitch humanly possible. I was waiting for blood to trickle in my ear.

So I covered her mouth, while still pinning both her hands down. Tina’s eyes dilated to the point the whites made her pupils look like black specks.

I don’t care if I was the greatest writer to ever live, I could never put into words what that look did to me. It would become one of my triggers to my darkside.

“Mmmpphh!  Mmmmph!”

Tina’s muffled screams added to the thrust of each stroke. The deeper she went into her darkside, the deeper I went into mine to be what she wanted me to be.

Then I blanked out, for how long I don’t know. What I did, I don’t know. What I said, I don’t know. What I do know was when I came through I was standing on one side of the room. Tina was balled up on the other side of the room crying hysterically.

What happen, Tina?”

“Stay away from me!”

“Yo, what happen, what did I do!”

“Stay away! Fuck you!”

“Tina chill yo!”  I started towards her. “It’s me . . . Pharaoh.”

The closer I got to Tina, the more demented she looked. Something happened, but I didn’t know what. All I knew was Tina snapped . . . the . . . fuck . . . out!

“Stay away from me, don’t touch me!” Tina threw everything she could get her hands on at me. “You fuckin’ asshole!  I can’t believe you did that to me! Why?”

Tears streamed from her eyes. She was blood red in the face. Her hands trembled, and her teeth chattered. Staring at her scared the shit out of me, with each step I took towards her, she crawled backwards screaming.

“Why did you do that to me?” More tears, more anger. “I told you to stop. . . I told you it hurt. You didn’t even listen to me. “Why?”

“What are you talking about, yo?”

“Why did you rape me . . . Daddy?”

I froze, oh shit.

Right then I was snatched out of my bedroom, and back into my car cruising the streets when my cell rang.

“Yo, who’s this?”

“Tina. . .”