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The Fifth
Author: Onewhoadores
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(Added on Apr 15, 2012)
(This month 116896 readers) (Total 173972 readers) |
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This story is dedicated to Lisa Jones, a true friend and great writer whose help and guidance on this and other of my stories has inspired me more than she knows |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 5 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (9/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (5/10) |
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| Reviewer:
feetslave678
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 30, 2012 |
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One who adores, sorry for the bad rating, I have been and still am the biggest fan of your writing, but this story just doesn't match up to the rest.. Simply cause this was not an erotic story, it was a regular story of a love couple, barely was there any evidence or sequence of bdsm or humiliation or fetish play in it, which is highly disappointing. In my eyes, A Perfect Match, was your best till date and all the ones that followed began to lose the eroticism and got more conventional and well, boring.. Hope your next one won't be so.. All the best! :) (5/10)
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- Replied by:
feetslave678
(Edit) (Aug 30, 2012)
- oh and, sorry for the bad response, hope you will take it in a good spirit, I really hated to say this to you considering how madly I wait for updates to your stories, but I wrote what I felt.. Hope it helps.. And thanks nevertheless for all the effort and good work you are doing, Highly respect you for it! :D
- Replied by:
chuck
(Edit) (Sep 5, 2012)
- Poor reasoning for the rating. The work is definitely above the standard quality of the work on this forum. The fact that you felt the story could have been more erotic is reason to drop it a point or two, but the rest work belies the poor 5 rating you awarded.
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| Reviewer:
Loraspa6
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 27, 2012 |
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Was glued to this story from start to finish.
I thought it was going to end slightly different, but I think it was much more fulfilling the way you closed it. (10/10)
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- Replied by:
onewhoadores
(Edit) (Aug 29, 2012)
- Thank you so very much Loraspa6. It is indeed very rewarding and gratifying when readers(and writers)such as yourself write that they enjoy my stories. It is much appreciated.
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| Reviewer:
springbok7
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 5, 2012 |
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I have been following this story for a while, and wow can't wait for the last two sections! I really enjoy your writing style, the slow buildup is one of the things I enjoy in fiction and you've got that down pat! This is something that occurs in regular novels, you don't the full story just like that, otherwise what's the point of the remaining 348 pages? Building up the characters, giving them depth and making them multidimensional is what captures my interest and make me emotionally involved and invested with the characters. You and your dedicatee are my two favourite authors on this site, because you both have the ability to produce just such characters, and your writing is excellent, both grammar and content.
Thank you for doing what you do, and pretty please keep on doing it :D (10/10)
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- Replied by:
onewhoadores
(Edit) (Aug 12, 2012)
- Springbok7,
Thank you so much for your kind words. It is these types of thoughts and sentiments that make the time and effort in writing these stories worthwhile and rewarding, and I very much appreciate you taking the time to let me know. I hope the last two chapters do not disappoint.
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| Reviewer:
chuck
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 30, 2012 |
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Well written, but lacking emotion. As a sketch, it is good, but as a story, there is no plot. Even as a lead-in chapter to a story, there is nothing to entice the reader to progress further.
---edit---
Perhaps if you submitted more than one chapter initially, there would be more to comment on. Your strong point is your ability to evoke an emotional response and empathy for the characters. That was lacking in this submission. Even so, 8 is not a bad review, just not the 10 you're used to.
In the past I have upped the rating of my review on your work as chapters were posted. I hope that I can do so on this work as well.
---- edit #2 at chap 6 ----
The dry commentary is finally giving away a more emotional and personal level where your writing tends to excel. I look forward to more chapters as I bump the rating to 9. (9/10)
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- Replied by:
onewhoadores
(Edit) (Apr 18, 2012)
- Chuck,
I always appreciate and respect your insights and reviews of my stories. In this case I think you might have jumped the gun a little bit. Part of the issue might be that the Library didn't include in my synopsis that this is a 12 part story about a Lady and her stable of slaves. This 1st part is the shortest of the 12 and was meant more as an appetizer and prologue for the whole story, and I'm disappointed that it didn't work as such for you. As you know from my previous stories though, I develop characters and plots slowly, and I believe that this will be the case for the six main characters in this story as well. I do hope that you can be enticed to give the rest of the story a chance to so develop and that it will become more satisfying and enjoyable for you as it progresses.
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| Reviewer:
Lisa Jones
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 16, 2012 |
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How, when it's dedicated to me, can I give it other than a 10!
Seriously, this is OnewhoAdores at the top of his form with another tale of love in a D/s world and I cannot recommend it too highly (10/10)
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