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Aurelie's Mexican Vacations
Author: darknessmonger and Aurelie Catena
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(Added on Aug 21, 2011)
(This month 165634 readers) (Total 238967 readers) |
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Aurélie goes on a trip to meet someone she met online and shared sadistic fantasies. She slowly starts to find out that for him they are more than fantasies, and wonders if she will ever return to her country. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 7 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (9/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (7/10) |
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| Reviewer:
toxidomaskjr
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 6, 2012 |
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brilliant story, the tests were well thought, the ending its creepy but I enjoyed the ideas of the tests, keep up with the great work (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
Peter-2u
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 13, 2011 |
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Excellent. I hope you're planning on adding to this sweet little ditty. It would be a grave disappointment if you didn't. Thanx (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
aweta69
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 1, 2011 |
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GOOD START!!!!
Nice to see that time will not be a factor. Will she be the only one or will she join in the fun that is just starting. Spring break is close at hand.
(8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Michael247
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 31, 2011 |
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Damn... I can't believe I'm giving a SERIAL story a nine!
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Okay, I hate serial stories. I really really do. And I'm not coming back to this one until it's bloody well done. Despite the slow beginning, I liked where this one was going and the slow build up of sexual tension was masterful. Really really great. Then it went nowhere because the author DIDN'T finish.
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There are times when a story is meant to be a serial, and times when it isn't. This was NOT one of those "serial" times. How do I know? Simple. The author had done this incredible job taking me on Aurelie's adventure. I could smell the damp of the cave. I could feel the heat of the sun. I could envision her, a cute adorable French girl swept up in internet stupidity in the clutches of Pablo, her internet paramour. It was just incredible. The sexual tension rose beat by beat, steadily through the tale. Then right when that sexual tension was practically palpable in its own right, the author ended part one with a cliffhanger. I'm tempted to call the author a bad name at this point.
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Now that I'm over my sexual frustration at reading this phenomenal story and not getting any kind of satisfaction, let's delve into other issues. First of all, grammatically, the story was great. I didn't notice any real problems. Of course, by the fifth paragraph or so I was a little wrapped up in what was happening, so I might have missed something. But if I did then so what? It meant the story was good.
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There were a few problems with formatting. It's all about html. There are a few punctuation marks, like the accent mark in Aurelie's name that standard HTML *hypertext markup language* can't translate unless given a specific code for that "mark". There are multiple places within this story where the html code couldn't translate properly from the original and the web browser went "WTF? Uh... I'll just put the copyright symbol here!" The best way to deal with this is to run your story through a text editor like notepad and send it as a .txt file to the library. It will at least eliminate most of those punctuation misprint issues. Other than that, formatting was great.
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While reading this story, I did feel that the initial scene introducing Aurelie and Pablo was a little short, but since I felt the whole first PART was a little short, that's not surprising. After reading the story though, I've changed my mind and the reason I'm mentioning it is because this was some very nice work by the authors. When we first meet the main characters, Aurelie is imagining herself a sacrificial victim of the Aztec priests, along with the prerequisite virgin rape. While nothing serious HAPPENS to Aurelie, it gives the reader a phenomenal look into her mind and interests, foreshadowing what is to come later. Pablo gets it too, though I suspect that their internet conversations have given him way more than what I got. In any event, Pablo gently eases Aurelie toward that very ending - which we don't get to read yet because the authors hate us.
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I love the language used. "Darkness and silence where surrounding her. Her soles were aching from the countless pebbles and asperities of the ground." This is great description. It's not over done and it's not underdone. The authors understand that telling a story is like being the lens of a movie camera. That's just phenomenal. Okay sure, they used the wrong word in the sentence, it should have been "were" and not "where, but still. And "asperities?" It means rough and uneven. Not the sort of language you find everyday. My god... erotica written on a college reading level?
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Too bad it's not finished, right?
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Ok, I'm done harping now. Obviously I liked this. Obviously I'm frustrated that the rest isn't written. Obviously I think you should read it... but NOT UNTIL the rest is there. The worst part is that I have a tendency not to read "Updates" here at the BDSM Library. I read so many stories that usually I have to go back and reread the parts just to keep myself from being confused. Maybe I'll be lucky and the authors will email me and let me know when the rest is ready? Hopefully...
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Yours Faithfully, Michael Alexander
(www.michaelalexanderstories.com) (9/10)
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- Replied by:
darknessmonger
(Edit) (Sep 1, 2011)
- Don't worry, there are already 15 chapters written, and none of them as short as the first one.
I've already sent more some time ago, will eventually get here and when that happens I'll send some more.
neither author is native speaker, so that could explain why some words are not the very common everyday english.
- Replied by:
Aurelie.Catena
(Edit) (Sep 15, 2011)
- Wow! Thanks for that great review!
I hope the on-coming chapters will please you as much. They will be more hardcore though...
- Replied by:
Michael247
(Edit) (Jul 13, 2012)
- I'm having some very different feelings about this story now that it is complete.
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| Reviewer:
sayuna
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 30, 2011 |
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I love how Aurelie takes the plunge, on the edge of my seat to know what happens next! ^_^ (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
wttozer
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 23, 2011 |
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Excellent 1st chapter. The possibilities are many and I look forward to seeing where the story goes. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
leo9
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 23, 2011 |
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Good beginning, a credible description of how people discover their fantasies together. Now get on to the hot stuff! (7/10)
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