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| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (6/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (6/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (6/10) |
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| Reviewer:
wistan
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 10, 2011 |
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Decent story, I liked it for the most part. Naturally I have a soft spot for a woman exerting control over her man, and this cure offers that to the reader!
A few things I'd say. One, it's just my preference, but it's a bad idea to start a story off with a physical description of your characters. I know we all like to fantasise about the woman who is a fantastically gorgeous big breasted babe, but I find that when you read a lot of these stories you hit that and go "Oh, another one of those". Why not incorporate that kind of detail into the story instead? Like instead of just flat out saying she's gorgeous at the start, why not incorporate it into the story - for example when she is teasing her husband, have him especially turned on because his wife is so beautiful. Instead of just giving their ages why not make a point that he's a bit insecure that she is this gorgeous young thing whilst he is ageing and past his prime? Stories work so much better when you SHOW us these kinds of things through the character's eyes and reactions, rather than just telling us. (6/10)
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