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The Sorority Auction
Author: Thomas Chaser
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(Added on Aug 14, 2011)
(This month 70522 readers) (Total 93979 readers) |
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A sorority decides to auction its members to raise money. One girl gets more than she bargained for when she's bought as the housegirl for a fraternity. What starts out as a simple game turns unexpectedly intense. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 5 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (5/10) |
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 24, 2011 |
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Had no qualms with the marking itself -inspired by a reader or not- just with the continuity involving Jasmine freeing herself.
All stories are basically little spin-offs of reality; little loops where authors venture to spawn their poetic licence.
Sometimes the loops are huge -including loopholes even- taking us far from our everyday reality.
Sometimes -like in "The Sorority Auction"- the loop is but a fraction away from what we consider to be "normal"...
To be honest, I personally wouldn't change a thing about this story.
JJ (9/10)
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- Replied by:
skullchaser
(Edit) (Dec 28, 2011)
- Thank you for the review! You hit it right on the head - stories that are just a loophole away from reality. I try to write my stories as a "it could happen" concept (if the women were willing) because that requires less of a stretch by the reader and allows them to just sit back and enjoy.
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| Reviewer:
nassim
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 19, 2011 |
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It was a good story, good concept, good premise, AND was well written. Perfect.
On a somewhat different note, a 1-5 really shouldn't be given out unless the grammar and or spelling is so atrocious that the story is unintelligible. (10/10)
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- Replied by:
skullchaser
(Edit) (Aug 23, 2011)
- Thank you! The fact that so many didn't like the ending means I at least wrote well enough to get them emotionally invested in the characters for the first 80% of the story.
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| Reviewer:
Major Littmann
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 18, 2011 |
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Good story crippled by a badly thought out ending perhaps part 2 will explain how she could disappear from society friends family etc and become a horriby disfigured frat slave.
Less is more with this tale, perhaps a re write? (6/10)
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- Replied by:
skullchaser
(Edit) (Aug 18, 2011)
- The ending was written at the urging of a reader. I don't really plan on doing a Part II for this particular story. However, I may revisit it in the form of the next school year and the sorority brainstorming on fundraisers again. New character, new moral standards.
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| Reviewer:
Dryhill
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 16, 2011 |
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For most of this story i was going to rate it at least a nine, but Jasmine's reaction after being branded seems so out of character to make the story to unreal for my liking. Other than that it was a good story. (5/10)
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- Replied by:
Dryhill
(Edit) (Aug 16, 2011)
- i originally rated this a six but after a nights sleep and a day at work i realised how unhappy i was with the ending.
No where is there any indication that the action takes place in an alternative universe or is a dream or even a fantasy. In fact the action could really occur (my gardening skills have been auctioned to help raise monmey for my local churchm, so why not auction off a house slave?).
No one would brand another person in such a way without plenty of proof that it was an acceptable act in case they got sued. Jasmine was crying and trying to break free so it was clearly against her wishes so why is she not getting herself ready to go to the police? Also how come Jasmine's fraternity elder is not angry, if anything it would seem the latter was expecting something like the branding to take place.
Oh yes and one other thing Kendra left Jasmine tied up, so how did Jasmine get free?
Basically i like about 80% of the story and think that part deserves a nine, the last 20% deserves a one for being poorly thought out and a bit rushed. So i have now rated the story a five.
- Replied by:
skullchaser
(Edit) (Aug 18, 2011)
- You bring up some really good points. To be honest, I was going to have it end with Jasmine being the set decoration for the evening, naked and on display to all of the boys on a strict "look but don't touch" policy (and I may go back and rewrite it that way eventually. This particular piece was written to spec at the request of a reader, who wanted public humiliation mixed with some sort of permanent mark against her will. Hence, the branding.
Like I said, I may go back and rewrite this one, but for now my attention is focused on my "Sarah Naked In School" world, which I find to be more entertaining with a better plotline and a greater variety of sexual situations.
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| Reviewer:
Severe
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 15, 2011 |
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More of this. More of all of this.
I do confess that I'm somewhat worried that this must take a turn for either the secret closed-doors world of BDSM, thus losing the wonderfully public nature of the story, or else into blatant unrealism.
Jasmine should remain a slave of a college fraternity that could just maybe exist in real life, right now. (10/10)
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