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Piacere's Shock
Author: Piacere
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(Added on Apr 30, 2011)
(This month 19725 readers) (Total 22829 readers) |
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In this true account of Piacere's torture by electrical stimulation, Q's imagination leads to a most unlikely place to use e-torture. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 4 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8/10) |
Average
Rating:  (9/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (7/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Michael247
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 18, 2011 |
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I have to admit, I enjoyed this tale. First of all, it had the gritty feel of reality to it that I approve of. Not only that, but even were the story not true, she does a phenomenal job with her description, staying true to the physics of electricity. That alone places this story on a higher level than most others here at the BDSM Library.
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From a grammatical perspective, "Piacere's Shock" is well written. Sentence structure, while conversational, is complex and adds depth to the story. I do think that there is an over use of prepositional phrases, but that comes naturally from using a conversational tone. Kudos to Piacere for avoiding fragments. One of my website's co-authors still has problems with that and it frustrates me to no end.
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My only recommendation for the author concerns timing and tension. Like sex, a good story starts off with little to no tension and then builds it slowly. In the case of Piacere's Shock, I sort of felt things moved rather rapidly,and starting at a rather high level, which in real life I suppose they did. I would recommend however that the author take a bit more time to dwell on each aspect in the story. For example, what if "Piacere" had ample time to examine the electrical artifacts first, before even being bound, puzzled as to what they were for, or how they were used, describing each in turn? It would no doubt foreshadow the torments, but also start that build of tension in the reader as they looked forward to those items being used. In fact, as detailed and specific as the torture is, a reiteration of the torment is not unwise either as a way to keep your reader in the right spot. Sum up from time to time within the story format. It will help build the tension and keep your audience right there with you. We WANT to be able to imagine what you're going through, but if there is so much going on, and we move through it so quickly, and there are no reminders, I'll forget that I've got a butt plug up my ass while I'm being catheterized. So slow down. In essence, I want more. Reminisce Piacere, compare it to other tortures. Try to EXPLAIN how it felt. This will turn an amazing story into pure gold.
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A rather impressive tale from a new author who relates her real life experiences with grace and talent. Well done.
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Yours Faithfully, Michael Alexander
(www.michaelalexanderstories.com) (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
Snark
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 10, 2011 |
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Bravo! Well written and proofed. An exciting and entertaining read. Is her husband privy to the details? His reaction might be interesting as well! (9/10)
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- Replied by:
Piacere
(Edit) (May 10, 2011)
- Thank you for the kind remarks. My husband knows about my liaisons with Q, but unless he reads one of my stories, he does not know all the details. That is his choice and I respect that. Sometimes of course, he sees the results of Q's work on my body, but I never flaunt or tease him, nor do I hide the bruises, welts or broken skin. Hubby knows Q but we are not a threesome or anything like that. I live in two different worlds--first with my husband and then the time I spend with Q. I love my husband, heart and soul. I love Q because he is caring, tireless, and expert in finding ways to bring me the pleasure of pain.
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| Reviewer:
SamCurious
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 3, 2011 |
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amazingly erotic. I was pretty much there, in the scene. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
Abe
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 2, 2011 |
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Nicely written and instructive. (10/10)
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