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The Pig Races
Author: Jake Olive
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(Added on Jun 9, 2010)
(This month 14463 readers) (Total 24226 readers) |
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A single 29 year old woman finally meets her dream man and falls in love without understanding his true intentions. The man plans to enter her into the strange subculture of pig racing and believes that she is the prize pig he has long been seeking. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 7 |
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29% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (6/10) |
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| Reviewer:
titsy [President]
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 22, 2011 |
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I have to totally agree with BigCat76 - too much telling, not enough actual story. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
nastyaryana
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 17, 2010 |
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Jake: I love your story. I cant wait to read of how Stacey feels when she learns what a pig she is! You set it up great. I look forward to further chapters. Ari (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
BigCat76
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 13, 2010 |
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Interesting, gets off to a good start. A little too much "telling" it instead of showing. Look forward to more parts. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
gnuman
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 13, 2010 |
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I was disappointed. The story got off to a good start, though, a little slow. I liked it. The end went way too fast and introduced the violence way too quickly.
A longer more complete perhaps more parts would be nice. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 12, 2010 |
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Unusual, yes; well-written...mmm... nope. Too messy and spending way too much time at the start in characterising Stacey.
Will be following further chapters nevertheless.
JJ (7/10)
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- Replied by:
Jake Olive
(Edit) (Jun 12, 2010)
- You misspelled "characterizing" and I would consider rewording all three sentences. I would suggest:
Unusual? yes. Well written? mmm no. It was too messy and you spent too much time characterizing Stacey. I will be following further chapters nonetheless.
Seriously, thanks for taking the time to review. I will follow further reviews and apprecitate you taking the time to comment.
- Replied by:
JimmyJump
(Edit) (Jun 12, 2010)
- Ooo, touchy, are we..? Well, about the misspelling, I can always hide behind the fact that English is only my fourth language. What's your excuse?
Seriously, thanks for the reply and suggestions. After all, you're supposed to be the writer...
JJ
- Replied by:
Jake Olive
(Edit) (Jun 12, 2010)
- I was just giving you a hard time. I know you review a lot of stories and that makes this a better site for everyone. I wish more people (me included) took more time to review instead of read. Sorry for any bad feelings. I have read many of your reviews and generally value your input as a story reviewer. Lastly, I am not really a writer, I am just someone who has written a few stories because I think it is fun. I have received some good feedback from some other people and I can live with that. No bad feelings here....
- Replied by:
JimmyJump
(Edit) (Jun 13, 2010)
- Nope. No hard feelings here eiher. Seems we (and a lot of others) are made of the same wood when it concerns 'criticism'... I relate that to the fact of there not being any kind of emotion, vocal intonation or body language attached to a small reply box with black on white text.
I'll certainly have a look at the other stories you've posted. In-between Football matches, Formula 1 races, going to vote for a 'new' governement and dealing with a neighbour who found Islam, but isn't quite sure yet in which direction Mecca is to be found, so she prays in my general direction...
Read you around, Jake.
JJ
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| Reviewer:
fellatrix
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 11, 2010 |
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Beautifully written, very unusual and interesting. (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
Massen
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 11, 2010 |
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Great story (10/10)
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