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The Good Wife
Author: Rocky.
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(Added on Jun 7, 2010)
(This month 16315 readers) (Total 29945 readers) |
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A partial day in the life of a wife in a future society. Just a short, one-part story that popped into my mind. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 11 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8.5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (8.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (7/10) |
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| Reviewer:
andersbac
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 13, 2015 |
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This is great a great story, albeit too short. The shame, humiliation and hopelessness are all wonderful. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
ALLAHHAVEMERCY
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 5, 2011 |
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epic LOL.
Where would men be if men do not think with their penises. LOL
The story is good in that it is fantastical and pivots on a central sexual tendency, but as the story develops into more than a few sentences, it loses any feasibility and therefore any credibility from that point is lost. A society that restricts women to low positions usually is extremely fastidious about female chastity, yet the story points to another direction, which is extreme improbable. Also what about venereal diseases that would occur such wife-swapping? None of those issues are addressed. What about procreation? What would elevate a woman's status usually in this type of tribal society is if she were gives birth to a son, by her proper husband of course. That and all that consequences of pregnancy and ultimate goal of sex--proceation--is never mentioned. How do the society deal with motherhood and what is the status of mothers to their children?
The author makes the same mistake like he does in every other story: the pace at which the story reels out of hand and goes too extreme. Some authors could manage it, by turning it into an excercise in absurdism, fashioned after Camus and Beckett, but here all the elements of the absurd is lacking. The author is not too focused on details and simply runs out of idea and probably patience for a culmination point.
What I would like a commend the author on is the basic idea in the story. It is a good idea, it is a very hot and erotic idea, but its implementation is ordinary and some are just not very believable. Remember the role of gender as protracted has been around for millions of years, only for the last 50 years we have seen something different, so one basic opinion i have to proffer to the author is "believe in your own idea".
Overall a good read, but not something that is extraordinary (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
cuntslave
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 25, 2010 |
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great story about the role of women in a future society.
Only feedback: it would have been better to treat the wife as it, not as she.
Please continue with part 2. (10/10)
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- Replied by:
Rocky
(Edit) (Jun 26, 2010)
- Sorry, no future chapters. This was a quick, standalone story.
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| Reviewer:
DeGrinch
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 23, 2010 |
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Good for a short story, well written with good discriptions and grammar. I liked the slob boss idea, good work. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 17, 2010 |
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Well written little musing over a possible society. Only thing I disliked (as in most stories of the genre) was the lack of feelings of the men. The utter stubborn stupidity of the lads in kicking their women around. It wouldn't work, at least, not for long.
Contrary to Dryhill, I din't find no indepth characterizations (besides that of the alternate society itself). But no need for that, as every woman would act along a generalized pattern: that of obiding the rules and being, well, a good wife. What I also liked was some details, like the way the women seem to indoctrinate themselves by uttering these little mantras while labouring...
Anyway, I loved the general --mostly genuine-- feel of the short, which has me wondering about other of Rocky's stories...
Oh, and about spelling: since this is a bit of a fan-site, where authors provide their writings, before perhaps moving on to 'greater things', I feel we are in fact acting as the proof readers. Besides, this is no English class, so, in the end, who cares anyway. At least, I didn't find anything to start a Jihad over, let alone detract 'points' for it.
Better quit here, before my 'review' gets longer than the story itself... but not before adding that maybe some aspects of this short could be worked out to something bigger.
Read you around, Rocky.
JJ (9/10)
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- Replied by:
Rocky
(Edit) (Jun 17, 2010)
- Thank you very much for the comments and encouragement. I hope you do enjoy my previous writings. I have a couple of unfinished stories here; unfortunately, I seem to have hit a wall with them and haven't been interested enough (or had time enough) to get them going again. I detest unfinished tales here, and now I'm guilty of that myself. At this point, I have no intent of taking this little tale to something bigger, though I admit to working on a couple of longer stories. However, I won't be posting them until I know they're finished.
- Replied by:
JimmyJump
(Edit) (Jun 18, 2010)
- Thanks for the reply (ies). It's always nice to see an author follow-up on his babies. I must add that, now that I've read the other stories you submitted and comparing them, you clearly show progress, as if you become more comfortable with what you write.
This being said, don't pay too much attention to what reviewers write (myself included) as they're mere observations. Otherwise, you wind up writing for the fans, which never is a good idea. Always and foremost write for yourself. Just let it flow...
Am looking forward to what will be next.
Regards.
JJ
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| Reviewer:
Makemyday
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 14, 2010 |
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One of the best I have read on BDSM. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
mstrger
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 13, 2010 |
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Very nice. Up to Authors usual high standard. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Dryhill
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 12, 2010 |
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Good attention to detail and plenty of characterization so that you could easily picture her place of work and the society she lived in. A little more attention to incorrect spellings would have made this story an eight. (7/10)
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- Replied by:
Rocky
(Edit) (Jun 12, 2010)
- Thanks for the constructive criticism. I thought I ran a spell check and proofread it before posting, but apparently not.
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| Reviewer:
mortongd
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 11, 2010 |
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Very nice short story (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
robertahunt
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 10, 2010 |
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Good level of detail. Thanks. (8/10)
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