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The Chamber
Author: J Lewis
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(Added on May 2, 2010)
(This month 53009 readers) (Total 107340 readers) |
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Just a back to the roots short, not quite over the top torture of a young, beautiful woman. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 5 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (9.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (8/10) |
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 16, 2010 |
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For some reason, while reading "The Chamber", I imagined J Lewis in a white labcoat working, hey!, in a laboratory, handling labrats (called Frankie and Johnny) in a labyrinth while making notes (J Lewis, not the rats) under the watchful eye of a huge Labrador (the dog's there just because of the lab-part) with Frank Sinatra's "New York, New York" bawling from the speakers...
What happens in "The Chamber" are J Lewis' findings after he put some hungry cats with the rats. What will happen once the dog sees the cats will be something for the next chapters...
And when writing in the present tense is something for accomplished writers, and J Lewis pulls it off, well, then maybe he belongs in said category.
Oh, and should J Lewis' exuberant style hamper the plot, even when there's no plot, is like saying you can't get into your house because of a huge doorstep, even when there's no doorstep to speak of.
J Lewis is a remarkable writer, whatever he writes, just because he managed to concoct a style all of his own. Concoct maybe is the wrong word, as I'm under the impression it comes naturally, which is why J Lewis is a remarkable writer, whatever he writes.
Personally, I have a love/hate relationship with J Lewis stories, because of the frequent scrotum-shriveling scenes he describes/ordeals he puts his fantasized women through. Which is good. Because it shows I haven't yet lost touch with reality and am still a bit human.
Funny enough, I love J Lewis stories for the same reason I don't like 'em. Which again shows that J Lewis is an above average writer. Or that I still lost it after all.
Whatever the case, I'll keep on reading whatever witches brew J Lewis' stirrs-up... (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
Michael247
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 5, 2010 |
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I have some serious mixed feelings about this story. First of all, let me say that I really liked it in general. I felt as if I were right there in "The Chamber". There was definitely some sexual tension and build up, and I enjoyed the torments inflicted upon the young lady in question.
*** So where does my uneasiness come from? There were a number of sources. First off is the tense this story is written in. Present tense is hard for even accomplished writers to pull off. Present tense usually hampers a writer's ability to construct action and dialog, which are the prime movement methods for plot arc. In this particular case, there is no dialog, and frankly what little action is present is buried deep within the massive, corybantic, and possibly pedantic descriptions provided by the author. This hampers the plot movement. To be honest, there isn't much plot movement at all. The vast majority of this story is description. Long description.
*** The descriptions are my next primary issue. I love good descriptions and the author not only provides good descriptions, but goes overboard with them, frequently incorporating them into massive run-on sentences. In fact, the descriptions are so explicit, so numerous, and so vivid, that it's easy to become lost in them, wanting to skip ahead to the next moment of action.
*** In a bizarre twist, the verbose vocabulary of the author fails during the auditory replication of the whipping. "Swish...thwack" is very expressive, but how can someone who writes such complicated and adjective dense sentences subject us to repeated uses of "Swish...thwack?"
*** Practically every sentence begins with the same construct: a long, drawn out, adjective crammed, prepositional phrase, sometimes combined with additional prepositional phrases before we find the subject of the sentence. Then occasionally, just for fun, the author ENDS the sentence with another prepositional phrase. While this sentence construct isn't a bad one, and frequently adds something interesting to someone's writing style, if its the ONLY structure used, it gets...tiring.
*** Earlier I said there was no dialog, but I suppose I need to clarify that I don't consider "arrggghhhhhhh....ooompph" to be dialog. I find these to be terribly out of character with the author's writing. What better spot to include a long sentence with multiple adjectives describing the young lady's scream? "Arrrrrggghhhh....ooompph" is about as effective for moving the plot forward as a the words "The End".
*** The beginning of this story has a synopsis with "...just a back to the roots short..." which seems to indicate that this story is a short story stand alone. The official definition of a short story is "a story one can read comfortably in one sitting". This descriptor is then immediately contradicted with the words "Part One" indicating multiple parts, followed by "Chapter One", indicating multiple chapters in multiple parts. Is this a short or what? On the flip side, if this is a serial, the author has made a decent beginning of it. So many authors have problems with serial writing, forgetting that each installment must be a self-contained sub-story within the greater arc of the overall plot. If "The Chamber" (Part One/Chapter One) is the first of a suggested long line of serials, then the author is doing a great job. Part One/Chapter One felt like a complete story.
*** The author, J Lewis, obviously is a writer with a phenomenal vocabulary and a penchant for description that borders on hypnotic. I'm tempted to check out a few of his other stories to see if his writing style is consistent with all of them, or whether "The Chamber (Part One/Chapter One) is just an oddity. In any event, I felt that this story was a pretty decent descent into the twisted lives of some serious sadists who put the Marquis to shame. If this ISN'T a short...I look forward to reading "The Chamber (Part One/Chapter Two). Michael Alexander (www.michaelalexanderstories.com)
(8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Millie
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 5, 2010 |
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Very good, really enjoyed it. There definitely needs to be more. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
kemosabe
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 3, 2010 |
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J Lewis never fails to deliver a strong, vivid story. This one will take its place among the very best he has contributed.
We are left to wonder the protagonist's background, her relationship to a nunnery, or virtually anything about her. Still, we are swept away with the agony she experiences, wondering the outcome.
Hope Chapter One is only the beginning. (10/10)
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