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Teen Flasher's Therapy
Author: Domination Institute
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(Added on Mar 20, 2010)
(This month 13725 readers) (Total 26675 readers) |
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After some failed attempts, the parents of an exhibitionistic teen find the perfect treatment for their daughter. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 2 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (6.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (7/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (7/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (7/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Michael247
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 6, 2010 |
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I was pleasantly surprised after reading "Teen Flasher's Therapy". First of all, the plot was something quite new and refreshing, especially for what normally is posted here at the BDSM Library. The story moved along at a brisk clip thanks to a successful marriage between dialog and action, and I felt that all in all, this story was pretty decent.
*** That said there were a couple of minor points that I think I need to point out, in order to give the author some constructive advice on where to improve. The first issue is about descriptions. There are very little included in this story. There are practically no scene descriptors, essentially no sets, with the exception of a few action required props. Everything the author described was needed as a prop, which is different than a set. Remember that stories are similar to movies, except that instead of showing a story you are writing it. Your voice is the camera. You have to provide everything: a set, costumes, makeup, hairdressing, props, as well as the screenwriting (dialog) and the action (directing). It's complicated and takes practice.
*** My next issue is with the length of this story. Either the author decided to terminate the narrative just before it reached a climax, or he/she (sorry Domination Institute doesn't indicate gender) intends to make this a serial. Sigh. More serials. Why does everyone write seven fucking pages of a novel and then post it! I hate serials. I read so many stories that by the time you've posted part two I have to go back and re-read part one. No thank you. Either post the whole story or make sure that each individual serial posting is a self-contained sub-plot story.
*** There really isn't much more to complain about. The author has a fantastic grip on dialog and action and if the story was just a bit longer and complete, this would have been rated a bit higher. Add in some scene descriptors and you've got a 10 piece of work. Michael Alexander (www.michaelalexanderstories.com) (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
Curtis
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 1, 2010 |
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This is pretty good, but too short. Is it intended to be continued? It doesn't really end, just leaves off. (7/10)
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