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Lexy's Bad Choices
Author: Jake Olive
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(Added on Feb 26, 2010)
(This month 70164 readers) (Total 89614 readers) |
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A young girl makes the wrong choice and steals from her employer. The company Controller discovers the crime and lays out a path of punishment and repayment. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 1 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7/10) |
Average
Rating:  (9/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (9/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (9/10) |
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| Reviewer:
jazzfan
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 5, 2010 |
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This is a very promising beginning. A good solid plot (so far), fairly well-drawn characters, and a nicely formatted, very readable style.
Some nitpicks. I really find misspellings like gig for jig and mother load for motherlode very jarring. I know others don't mind as much, but for me it spoils the flow of the story. I'd also like a little more detail in the sex scenes (like describing how red Lexy's ass was after the spanking, or how her mouth felt as she gave her first $25 BJ), though I prefer retraint to excess.
As you develop this story, I hope that you are able to maintain your tight detective story style and to inject a reasonable variety of plot elements and sexual encounters. Good Luck! (9/10)
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- Replied by:
Jake Olive
(Edit) (Mar 5, 2010)
- Thanks for taking the time to review my story, I appreciate it. The typo's bother me more than you I promise, they are so much easier for me to see once the story is submitted. Two additional parts already written and will be up soon. Again....Thanks.
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