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Maya
Author: dale10
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(Added on Sep 24, 2008)
(This month 89498 readers) (Total 130072 readers) |
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A young girl is the sex slave of her father and brother. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 10 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (2/10) |
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| Reviewer:
studmaster58
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 25, 2011 |
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Needs more development, but great story lines......... (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Merc1255
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 9, 2008 |
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Good foundation for a potentially great story. Looking forward to reading how the little slut enjoys her treatment. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
jheller69
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 9, 2008 |
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Good story line with many possibilities. It could use some serious editing to make it easier to follow. Consider having someone proof them before you post, to delete the repeated sections. (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
lilmissmolly
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 3, 2008 |
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the story constantly starts over and is frustrating to ready (2/10)
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| Reviewer:
ramses
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 29, 2008 |
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There is a delete button on your keyboard. You should try it on the large blocks of repeated text. I don't mind the girl being mistreated, but I feel sorry for the story, which isn't bad at all. Without the repeats, it could even be enjoyable. (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
SirBosk1
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 27, 2008 |
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Well, this time the repeated text was easier to locate in blocks, making it easier to delete off line. I can't figure out why a writer with this much imagination and great ability to devise ever increasing levels of erotic humiliation still can't format a story. In the earlier years, this author used 20 periods instead of a simple comma. He still hasn't learned that two periods instead of a comma or one period, isn't a recognized punctuation method. Panther007, Elkor, and Takarada already said it for the repeated sections. Unfortunately, once again, the author wastes our time some more with his inept writing, almost destroying his brilliant work in erotic humiliation. What a disappointment. (2/10)
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| Reviewer:
Panther007
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 27, 2008 |
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Needs formating work. Hard to read. (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
Elkor
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 26, 2008 |
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This story needs some editing, there are repeated sections and formatting that makes it hard to read. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
takarada
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 25, 2008 |
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has potential but some formatting problems and repeated text (7/10)
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