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John joins the Company
Author: A.Broadsword
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(Added on Sep 13, 2008)
(This month 12521 readers) (Total 19528 readers) |
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John finds his Girlfriend is a whore joins the Company, learns the torture processes then rescues his Girlfriend and sister from her sadistic parents. Company and some charaters from Desert Interlude |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 1 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (5/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (5/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (5/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Falcon
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 17, 2008 |
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This author has some very imaginative ideas. The setup at the beginning is very interesting, but the initial promise is not fulfilled. The story just degenerates into mindless violence by the end. The motivation of characters needs to be clearer, and they should be using language appropriate for their type. There are good descriptive passages, but "goons" should not be talking like Rhodes scholars! This story has potential but needs a lot of work! (5/10)
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- Replied by:
a.broadsword
(Edit) (Sep 17, 2008)
- Thanks for taking the time to write a constructive review. This was one of a number of stories or really chapters I wrote about the Company, and I will look again at the others in view of your comments. I guess I should have picked a better title. (If the small number of hits is any indication!)
Thanks again for your time.
- Replied by:
a.broadsword
(Edit) (Sep 17, 2008)
- Thanks for taking the time to write a constructive review. This was one of a number of stories or really chapters I wrote about the Company, and I will look again at the others in view of your comments. I guess I should have picked a better title. (If the small number of hits is any indication!)
Thanks again for your time.
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