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    | Ratings and Reviews: |   
    | Number 
      of Ratings: 6 | 
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| 0% | 0% | 0% | 17% | 33% | 33% | 17% | 0% | 0% | 0% |  |   
    | Weighed
      Average (?):  (5.5/10) |   
    | Average 
      Rating:  (5.5/10) |   
    | Highest 
      Rating:  (7/10) |   
    | Lowest 
      Rating:  (4/10) |  
 
 
   
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    | Reviewer: 
    Razor7826
  (Edit) | Rating:  | Jan 3, 2008 |   
    |  | The formatting, grammatical errors, and obviously missing words make this extremely difficult to read.    It is hard to follow the characters actions or understand their characterization without proper formatting.  Furthermore, I think doing so will allow you to analyze your own work better so that you may address the subtler problems. EDIT: Oh, and you really need story codes.  There are often unpleasant surprises in stories that lack codes (snuff or torture, namely) that many readers won't risk reading unlabeled submissions. (4/10)
 
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    | Reviewer: 
    ec1818
  (Edit) | Rating:  | Nov 21, 2007 |   
    |  | it was a good story but i would like to read the rest of it if there is one thank you (7/10) 
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    | Reviewer: 
    heycarrieanne
  (Edit) | Rating:  | Nov 16, 2007 |   
    |  | Perhaps English is not your first language?  Your sentence structure is awful as is your formatting.  You don't seem to have a clue what constitutes a paragraph or how to write a conversation that has proper punctuation.  Your story idea and you topic are both good but don't quite make it. (5/10) 
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    | Reviewer: 
    ladychipmunk
  (Edit) | Rating:  | Nov 10, 2007 |   
    |  | I really liked the story. However it was hard to read with the repeated "I said"s. Maybe some quotation marks would help. I also think some proof reading is in order.  (5/10) 
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    | Reviewer: 
    bbwsfslut
  (Edit) | Rating:  | Nov 10, 2007 |   
    |  | I liked your fantasy and storyline. You need some proof-reading and that could improve it.  (6/10) 
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    | Reviewer: 
    mkemse
  (Edit) | Rating:  | Nov 7, 2007 |   
    |  | not bad for a basic story but no real shick value, nothingi have not read nother stories, no original (6/10) 
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