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The Forced Slave
Author: Tera Long
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(Added on Jul 31, 2007)
(This month 12379 readers) (Total 23242 readers) |
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This is about a Dominate Man falling in love from a distance and decides he must have this woman and convince her to be his slave. Hoping that she will find she loves the life as a slave, and he shows her how he will spoile her as the slave he trained her to be |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 6 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5.5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (5.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (8/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (3/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Pussycat Sam
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 7, 2007 |
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Watch your grammar. But a nice plot-line.
Sam.
xxx (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 2, 2007 |
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I'm not an English teacher either, I'm a Dominant man. (not Dominate). I dragged myself here (not drug) to let you know that the story, while somewhat good as an attempt, needs reviewing, revising, editing, and polish. H Dean offers fine advice. (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
csr
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 1, 2007 |
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The plot line is great... I like the idea of the story; it just needs some serious editing to be readable. Many people, myself included would be happy to help out if asked. Keep up the writing anyway! (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
loserslave01
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 31, 2007 |
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I'm not really an english teacher, but I really loved the story. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
H Dean
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 31, 2007 |
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This appears to be a first attempt that was submitted before it recieved a proper edit or two.
**The major trouble with this story, aside from technical gaffes, is that it was told very simplistically and with a sing-song manner. It seemed that every sentence began with a proper noun or a pronoun. This is not conducive to good story telling and lost my attention.
**Tera, I recommend visiting the forum and the Writer's Block that resides within. I am certain that my review has done nothing to entice you to write further, being that it was rather rough and straight forward. My intention here is to provide honest reviews - not instruction. Conversely, the Writer's Block is around to aid those who would like to improve their writing skills. So, come to the forum. You will find help and harsh critisism designed to help you tell your stories. I encourage you to join. (3/10)
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