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Given Away
Author: sarah~
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(Added on Jun 21, 2007)
(This month 11266 readers) (Total 22694 readers) |
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A Master delivers his slave for play with a stranger. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 6 |
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| 1 |
2 |
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17% |
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33% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7/10) |
Average
Rating:  (7.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (8/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (5/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Deputy Duffy
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 26, 2007 |
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It was almost there. Seemed like a rough draft. But if that was your first story then not bad. I did much worse with my first effort. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
melroseplace
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 25, 2007 |
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I very much enjoyed the situation, the total submission. I am envious of the slave's plight. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 25, 2007 |
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good read, recommendable to others (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 25, 2007 |
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A pleasant start, with some brownie points for some decent exposition of the thoughts of the "victim". A careful job of editing, as the other reviewers suggest, will make this story a gem to behold. Anxious for more!
(8/10)
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| Reviewer:
somewriter
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 22, 2007 |
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As the other reviewer points out, the story needs tidying up, but I still rate it quite highly as a simple scene. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
heycarrieanne
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 21, 2007 |
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I think you have a really good idea for your story. Personally, stories about subs being shared make me really hot! But you have some major writing errors--you are writing in the past but you are using present tense, some of the time. You also have some typos. I think cleaned up this story would rate an 8 or 9! (5/10)
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