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Teenage prison life
Author: gorgeous
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(Added on May 31, 2007)
(This month 53859 readers) (Total 65259 readers) |
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Billy has just commitied a serious crime, and has been sent to a young offenders prison. Perfect bait for some of the older more ruthless boys. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 7 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (6.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (7/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (3/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Damn1right
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 17, 2010 |
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I agree nice story, can't wait for more (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
Nite Storm
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 7, 2009 |
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Exciting Possibilities . . . So What Happens Next? (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
Barry Austin
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 2, 2007 |
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nice story, cant wait for the next chapters (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
SirBosk1
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 2, 2007 |
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Check this link to improve your awkward writing.
http://www.literotica.com:81/stories/showstory.php?id=176807.
Here is part of what's presented. "The Correct Use of There/Their/They're
by R. Richard©
There/Their/Theirs/They're/There's
The words There, Their and They're are homophones. Homophones are words that are spelled differently, but sound the same. The following analysis shows a writer how to use the homophones. The related words Theirs and There's are also included in the analysis."
"The misuse of homophones is one of the most frequently seen errors in submitted manuscripts. The homophone errors are particularly bad, in that they make the entire work appear amateurish and cause doubt about the worth of the work."
More to follow.
Perhaps you should write in your native language, only?
(3/10)
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- Replied by:
gorgeous
(Edit) (Jun 2, 2007)
- Hi i understand what you mean, but i feel you are being very rich calling me amateurish. For example you had to copy and paste your review, from someone elses words. Why whinge like this people come on BDSM library, for a hot read, an erotic read, you are very picky. You have to learn to immerse yourself in the story, and the context, instead of finding grammer mistakes.
- Replied by:
SirBosk1
(Edit) (Jun 7, 2007)
- I'm sorry you're offended by someone trying to help you write a better story and what does "Why whinge like this people come on BDSM library..." mean? Never mind. I don't care about what you say.
The cut and paste doesn't change my complaints about your poor and awkward writing. It is the beginning of an article that would help people that are interested in improving their skills but doesn't help people that don't care how badly they communicate. I assumed you would ignor it but maybe someone else will follow the link and read that authors information and implement it?
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| Reviewer:
s1xer
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 1, 2007 |
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A good start, look forward to reading the ensuing parts (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
Eric Boss
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 1, 2007 |
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I look forward to more of it. Familiar situation but you are building up the tension very well. Personally I'd like more details, more description of events and their effects on the characters, but that's my taste, you must write as you think fit, I'm going to read your other stories now. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
slaveneedledick
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 31, 2007 |
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Not a bad plot hope the author continues (6/10)
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