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The Little Red Book
Author: Charlie
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(Added on Oct 25, 2001)
(This month 10023 readers) (Total 23240 readers) |
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This story is about a group of superhuman mercinaries that are paid to either kill, capture or torture anyone. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 4 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (3/10) |
Average
Rating:  (2.5/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (3/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (1/10) |
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 17, 2008 |
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forget it
being sick you can still make a story enjoyable, this was not (1/10)
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| Reviewer:
ownedgirl
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 29, 2001 |
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I can only echo the sentiments of the previous 2 reviewers (2/10)
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| Reviewer:
Jonathan
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 27, 2001 |
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Comments: From author: I am new, please be kind
and the story is very sick.
I don't know about kind, but I will try to be constructive. I have several problems
with this story. The story is indeed sick, but sick in the sense of unwell, not sick
in the sense of perverted. Here is my diagnosis:
1. There is nothing erotic about this story. It consists solely of a description of
mayhem, which can be erotic if done right, but that requires some skill. The
characters are dolls or robots with no personality. There's no reason to care
about them.
2. There's no plot. The story consists of a single fight scene with no background,
no complications, and no surprises. You could read only the first and last
paragraph and not have missed anything except excess details. There is no
suspense. We know who's going to win the fight and what's going to happen to
the losers. The details aren't all that original or interesting.
3. Super heroes are boring. What kind of tension can you develop when you
have a character who wins all the time and is invulnerable? That's why they
invented kryptonite. If there's no chance of failure, you don't have a story.
4. The length of the story is all wrong. I don't think you can do a proper short
story with characters, plot development, etc. in under 10,000 words. Nonetheless,
this story, for what it is, is too long. Cut out everything but the first and last
paragraphs, then add about 9000 words worth of plot and character development.
5. The author does have a nice sense of irony. Writing a story this brutal,
then asking the reviewers to be kind is a nice touch. If only the main body of the
story exhibited similar flair. (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
hyphen666
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 26, 2001 |
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It reads like you are translating a japanese porno comic into english. I applaud your courage and give you points for this and your attempt at some humor. By the way it's the heroine's pelvis that was broken, not her cunt! (3/10)
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