|
|
|
|
|
Honeymoon Gone Awry
Author: Kirk
|
| |
(Added on Mar 7, 2007)
(This month 130398 readers) (Total 228340 readers) |
| |
This is the story of Julie and Doug, two young newlyweds who are very much in love. Our story begins on their wedding day as they drive to their honeymoon suite in Lake George. A flat tire changes the course of their live in a dramatic way. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 20 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6 |
7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
| 0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
5% |
0% |
5% |
10% |
50% |
30% |
|
Weighed
Average (?):  (9/10) |
| Average
Rating: (9/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (5/10) |
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
wild77er
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 10, 2012 |
| |
Great beginning can't wait to read the rest YOU should be proud (10/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 6, 2010 |
| |
Well written story, which suffers some under the cliché's. That the author has a tendency to give stuff away beforehand is also a slight nuisance.
Good, but nothing that made me want to do the hula-hoop...
JJ (8/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Voracious Reader
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 1, 2008 |
| |
Wow. Really good story. I just read part I and the beginnings of part II, and can't wait for more of part II. Something else has to happen to our intrepid duo, right? (I sure hope so.) (9/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
ElectricBadger
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 6, 2007 |
| |
Superb work, a great story with good characters and a nice, simple plot. The only thing that nudges it down from a ten is the tendency to summarize emotions/feelings, rather than taking the time to describe how things affect the characters. (9/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
heycarrieanne
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 10, 2007 |
| |
Great story! I hope you do continue it. (9/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
subterfuge
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 8, 2007 |
| |
My favorite story in some time, especially the parts featuring the slut-bride. The ending was a real surprise, and to me, a good place to stop. However, given this author's imagination, I'm sure more fun can be had. (9/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Kirk
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 30, 2007 |
| |
A sequel will be coming shortly! (10/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
starz88
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 23, 2007 |
| |
t is a very well written story. Good pace and plenty of erotic detail.I would love to see another part to it. Its an awesome plot line. The last chapter was kind of bland. It appeared more like a setting for other events and what not. I also think that Julie and Doug should have (at least for a while) experimented with and experienced their new relationship on their own instead of coming back to Edgar's place right away. Although I'm sure even you'd be able to make it just as interesting whichever they go. As far as religion goes, I personally think it adds to the flavor of the story. (9/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Kirk
(Edit) (May 25, 2007)
- Thus far feedback has been overwhelmingly in favor of a sequel. There's still time to voice your opinion.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Good_Grip
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 23, 2007 |
| |
Very good story. The fact it is well written and I like stories with these themes made it very enjoyable. If you write a sequel, you should throw in some things that Julie and Doug would not expect. They probably think it will be more of the same. For instance, some more torture of Julie would be in order. A gangbang with Doug particapating? Whatever, make it as exciting as this story. (9/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Clevernick
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 22, 2007 |
| |
Good. Quality writing and pacing, easy style.
I think the ending could have been drawn out a night or two or more with them together, actually trying to repair their relationship before them driving back, but that's just me.
And no, that's definitely the end. No sequel required. (9/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Kirk
(Edit) (May 22, 2007)
- Thanks for your feedback. It's greatly appreciated. I've received four e-mail. All request a sequel. So as it stands right now, 4-1 in favor of a sequel. I'll wait to see what others think.
- Replied by:
Clevernick
(Edit) (May 24, 2007)
About the sequel thing -- The story arc is complete. They have changed from innocent Bible Belt honeymooners to lusty perverts with little else in common. I think any further stories about these two and Edgar would just turn into prolonged technical descriptions of what he does to them, or what they do for fun, which would get more and more depraved, without further emotional changes on anyone's part. So it wouldn't be, in my opinion, a good use of your obvious talent.
Why not use it to write another story instead?- Replied by:
Clevernick
(Edit) (May 24, 2007)
- Dupe removed.
- Replied by:
Kirk
(Edit) (Jun 7, 2007)
- I understand what you are saying. I'm not sure how this sequel will pan out. I hope I don't regret going forward with it.
- Replied by:
heycarrieanne
(Edit) (Jun 10, 2007)
- I am puzzled why Clevernick should tell an author when the author's story is complete?
- Replied by:
Clevernick
(Edit) (Aug 9, 2007)
- carrieanne -- it's gone now, but Kirk was asking for opinions on the possibility of a sequel. I was responding with one.
- Replied by:
Clevernick
(Edit) (Aug 27, 2007)
- heycarrieanne -- what's your game, girl?
Can anybody play?
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 8, 2007 |
| |
Redoing the review of a very good story. Terriffic plot development, with one minor fault: if a man was able to get his cock into the womb, the woman would die of the pain.... and so would the man. That's why labor is so difficult; that muscle is so darn hard and strong. Might want to retool the story just a bit; make him huge around or some such; the womb thing doesn't work.
Excellent story continuing. Can't wait for more. (10/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Kirk
(Edit) (Apr 3, 2007)
- The first parts of this story have been reworked. A special thanks to Ted E. Bear for editing, revising, and providing suggestions to improve the story.
The whole story is now in the past tense which seems to work much better especially considering the flashbacks in the first chapter. Several chapters have been combined and several discrepancies (i.e. Doug's gag needed to be removed) have been corrected. I've just submitted Chapter 3 and hope to have the links changed from "Part" to "Chapter."
This is a work in progress and any suggestions are greatly appreciated.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
wdanwill
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 11, 2007 |
| |
My girlfriend and I really enjoyed the story and are eagerly anticipating being able to read additional chapters. (9/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Kirk
(Edit) (Apr 11, 2007)
- Thanks for the positive response. Another chapter will soon be posted.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
metoo
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 11, 2007 |
| |
loved it....it worked for me.....I will definitely read more by this author (9/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
mirovingen
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 10, 2007 |
| |
I wait with impatience when modification size of breasts will begin.
I very much love huge breasts as well as you. (10/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Kirk
(Edit) (Apr 10, 2007)
- It's interesting that you mention modification of Julie's breast size. That won't happen in the original story, but I do plan on breast augmentation in the sequel if there is a sequel.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
GuiltyKarma
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 16, 2007 |
| |
hmm...interesting story, well written, good plotline and character development, but on a personal note, when I'm settling in, got the phone and tv turned off, got a bottle of wine, reading a BDSM story, the last thing I wanna read about is Jesus and god....LOL but all around great story! (8/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
daiquiri
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 9, 2007 |
| |
Very good start. need to ammend the last para, as Edgar's fingers can't go into Doug's mouth without removing the gag first. Looking forward to more of Julie's tears. (9/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Kirk
(Edit) (Mar 9, 2007)
- Thanks for the heads up. I'll have to see if there is a way to make changes in a story that is already submitted.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Braden
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 8, 2007 |
| |
Great start! The fact that you so carefully established the relationship between Julie and Doug makes Edgar's actions that much more horrific. I can't wait for the next chapter. Don't keep us waiting too long. (10/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Kirk
(Edit) (Mar 9, 2007)
- Chapters 3 and 4 are on the way. Actually Part 1 is misnamed. It should be Chapters 1 and 2. I submitted a request for a change.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
59olds
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 7, 2007 |
| |
Well written story with plenty of good details (10/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 7, 2007 |
| |
good start the story, will be curious where you lead us to (7/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Skruddgemire
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 7, 2007 |
| |
The story starts really slow and just when it starts rolling we're left hanging on what's next to come. Suggest picking up the tempo a little in the next chapters. (5/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Kirk
(Edit) (Mar 7, 2007)
- Sometimes a "slow start" is necessary. At times it's necessary to establish character and provide background information to have the greatest impact on the reader. Maybe it might be wise to see where a story is going before passing judgment.
|
|
|
About 