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A Dish Best Served Cold
Author: Philip
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(Added on Feb 27, 2007)
(This month 52153 readers) (Total 62242 readers) |
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Revenge by an ad executive who was cheated out of his job by a colleague. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 3 |
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| 1 |
2 |
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33% |
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67% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (6/10) |
| Average
Rating: (6/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (7/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (4/10) |
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| Reviewer:
heycarrieanne
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 28, 2007 |
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It's not a bad little story. The dialogue could use a little help--it is a bit stilted at times. And I use my own fantasies in what I write at times because it makes me hot. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
Mad Lews
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 27, 2007 |
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Starts strong, has a believable plot. yeah the dialog could use some work but overall a nice short story. Nothing wrong with sharing personal fantasies. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
cala
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 27, 2007 |
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This story begins with some good detail and a promising start... Then it descends into silliness. These lines had me laughing for all the wrong reasons; "Untie me.... I'll make it up to you. You have no idea how long it's been since I've had sex. I want it so badly. I'll show you how sexy I think you are."
......... And, "Please, I have to pee so badly," she whimpered. "When I have to pee this badly, I get really horny. Please, please help me."
Another personal fantasy as opposed to a well crafted story. Boring. (4/10)
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- Replied by:
murphysd2004
(Edit) (Feb 27, 2007)
- I'm sorry you found the story boring. Isn't personal fantasy what drives the stories?
- Replied by:
cala
(Edit) (Feb 28, 2007)
- Ok, I was a little harsh. But......
When a story slips into the confines of the writer's personal fantasies it's detrimental to the story as a whole. There's a real danger of inattention to other required areas, plus narrowing it's general appeal. As in this case.
Which is a pity; the start really does capture interest! Dialogue is this storys' weakest point. Something that's easily improved.
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