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Mall Meeting
Author: Lorgrom
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(Added on Feb 5, 2007)
(This month 73691 readers) (Total 98322 readers) |
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A man at the mall, finds the young woman he has been craving. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 2 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (7/10) |
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| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 10, 2007 |
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A good story, but continuous word-choice errors drive one crazy. The contraction of "You are" is "you're", not "your". Your is the second party possessive, such as "your socks" or "your girl". "Your still my slut" has no meaning. "You're still my slut" is clear. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
Rocky
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 8, 2007 |
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A well-written and quite enjoyable little piece. The sex scenes could have been a bit longer and more descriptive, but you painted a very vivid picture of the girl's humiliation and need. Excellent job, Lorgrom. (9/10)
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