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Peter Vanishes
Author: JP
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(Added on Dec 17, 2006)
(This month 16649 readers) (Total 32157 readers) |
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Peter gets himself into a lot of trouble when he falls for a seductive young woman on the train. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 6 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (9/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (7/10) |
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| Reviewer:
wistan
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 12, 2011 |
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Great little story. I love the extremeness of it - it's short, and yet at its core what we're seeing here is a woman who takes over a man's life utterly, maybe even leaving him to die, purely on a whim.
Actually I think in that respect the brevity really works well. Yes, we could get a lot more detail about how Peter feels hour after hour - the building thirst, muscle soreness, hunger, etc. But really the way I see it, the story doesn't need it. We're left to fill in what will happen to him with our imagination, and that's more than enough. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
hb60
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 15, 2011 |
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Rather dark way of bondage/seduction. Very intense, and arousing! (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
batmanisme
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 1, 2008 |
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(Warning - plot spoilers in this review.)
One of the best F/M stories I have ever read. I especially like stories where people are tricked into being bound and end up in a worse situation than they expected, and this definitely takes that to the ultimate. I also really like the story buildup, both in describing Peter's gradual buildup of lust for Heather, and the way Heather leads him through the town and into the tunnel.
Referring to an earlier review, yes Peter was stupid but I believe it is made believeable in the story. He is obviously thinking with his dick not his brain. Also, the fact that he has been seeing Heather on the train for months would tend to give him the illusion of knowing her a little, putting him at ease compared to a stranger that one has just met in a bar. I could see a guy - even me - actually doing this in this situation.
I *loved* the plastic ties. It probably took her about 30 seconds to put them on, leaving him little time to think about the situation. And utterly inescapable, especially with his constricted position with his arms and legs behind the 6-inch pipe. WOW!!!
Only thing that could be a little better is the epilogue. I guess the author didn't want to draw it out after the climax of the story, but I thought Peter's situation could be described in more detail. To say simply that "he collapsed into unconsciousness" after "hours [had] passed" doesn't seem quite realistic. I think it would take at least a couple days to go unconsciousness from dehydration. Rather than actual unconsciousness, perhaps what was meant here is that "he collapsed into an exhausted, restless sleep". The author might also have mentioned how cold he was - it would be about 60 degrees in a tunnel like that, and he has been naked for hours. The ache in his muscles was mentioned, but "and jaw" could be added - I'm sure the ball gag would also be very uncomfortable after several hours. And the pitch black of the railway tunnel would be terrifying. He might hear rats running around, maybe even brushing up against him. I just think more could have been done with the epilogue, even if just a couple more paragraphs to more fully describe the situation from Peter's perspective.
Still, that is a small point in an otherwise GREAT STORY!!! (10/10)
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- Replied by:
jpozed
(Edit) (Sep 2, 2008)
- Thanks so much for the review, I'm thrilled that you enjoyed the story and that you took the time to write such a considered response. I take your points about the end of the story, and in fact I originally planned to go into more detail about Peter's feelings after Heather leaves him there, but I wanted the story to be as short as possible for maximum impact. I had some particularly nasty ideas about what could happen to him in the tunnel, but perhaps I'll use them in another story.
Thanks again for the very kind review.
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| Reviewer:
topsfrombottom
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 21, 2006 |
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Good GAWD!!!
Can you say, 'Psychopath'?? Or, 'Insane'?? How about 'Out-of-Touch-With-REALITY'???
...No; not her - HIM!! What a goomba! Letting a complete stranger place him into inescapable bondage like that! Gah!
(But then... as much a sucker I am for micro-minis and stilettos... Heh.. Coulda' been ME there, as well! LOL)
~~ Hmmm... wonder if he'll be 'kept company' by the tattered, grisly, angry souls of Her PREVIOUS victims, over the four-or-five days it'll take him to stave and thirst away??? ~~
Excellent work.
tfb..
(10/10)
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- Replied by:
jpozed
(Edit) (Jan 8, 2007)
- Thankyou for your generous review. Yes, Peter does behave very stupidly here, but what possible reason would he have for thinking Heather was capable of something so monstrous? And his willingness to play along, at first, is all part of the fun for her.
I'm glad the unlikely situation didn't spoil your enjoyment of the story!
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| Reviewer:
atteone76
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 21, 2006 |
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It's a lovely story, very scary and cruel - told with the right timing and images. It would make a great movie script, so insane, dark and full of anguish. It depicts the predator that's inside the female beauty, its strength and hunger for life. Not the usual femdom. I hope to read more from you. Thank you. (9/10)
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- Replied by:
jpozed
(Edit) (Jan 8, 2007)
- Thankyou very much, I'm glad you enjoyed it! I hope to have more stories on the site soon.
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 18, 2006 |
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this type themem is generaly not what I read,but it was good not big into Fedom (7/10)
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