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A Slaves Daughter
Author: tights_brandy
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(Added on Oct 2, 2006)
(This month 45430 readers) (Total 80933 readers) |
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This is a story of a family, father is a sadist and cruel, mother is slave, so is 16 year old child, not for the week of heart or stomach |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 8 |
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25% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (7/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (3/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Mothbrad
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 5, 2007 |
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While there are obviously issues with editing/language, I would disagree with the idea that this story is not sexy. The story is an honest attempt to express the author's feelings and emotions, and while there is much room for improvement, I hope that you keep at it, at least for your own enjoyment, which is what writing should be about, after all. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
jip
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 4, 2007 |
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Free brutalities and not sexy at all.
A little less brutal and it would be much better. (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
Polecat
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 22, 2006 |
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Repeat of previous reviewers. If English is not your first language, then get someone else to proofread. You may wish to try the forum. There are a lot of helpful people there who would help. (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
nikita
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 21, 2006 |
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I can say two things, listen to the critiques of the others before me, then try again. You may want to preface the story with a paragraph on WHY you are compelled to write a story this harsh. The only reason for this suggestion is that the content might color the reviewers' scores and THAT wouldn't be fair. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
johhny
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 5, 2006 |
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a rather disturbing beginning, I would assume the Author will expand upon her plot in due course. Perhaps I could sugest the use of 'spell check' on the tools column at end of each chapter. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
heycarrieanne
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 3, 2006 |
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I hope for your sake that English is not your first language. You have sentences that make no sense at all! I cannot really say there is even a story here. You might want to look in the Forum section for an editor to help you organize your ideas and a good book on grammar to help you write a correct sentence. When you are writing dialogue, there is a right way and a wrong way to do. (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 3, 2006 |
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great warning, altho harsh i did enjoy most of it (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 2, 2006 |
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This is a harsh story indeed. The mother is harshly treated and badly abused.
Not so the daughter, at least not yet. I'm sure there are a few explanitory points you will get to in the next section, but please, re-read your story before you submit it; perhaps have another person read it too. You have one paragraph that is nearly all one sentence; dozens and dozens of words, several thoughts. That makees it hard to read. Also there are dozens of wrong and mis-spelled words.
(5/10)
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