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ZERO - the training of a slave
Author: MasterD
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(Added on Aug 31, 2006)
(This month 152682 readers) (Total 243117 readers) |
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From 18 year old virgin to willing sex slut/slave, whose only desire is to please. I would really appreciate feedback. This is the first of a multipart epic. Future parts will have more sex, but the theme overall will be training |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 8 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7.5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (7.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (6/10) |
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| Reviewer:
amandaclose25
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 16, 2006 |
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This was a fabulous story and I kept looking forward to the new parts. I hope this author keeps writing more in this vein. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
hoodedandmasked
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 12, 2006 |
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This story just got better and better with each episode.
Zero's final punishment was sooooo harsh and cruel - I just loved it. Many many thanks! (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
littleone_
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 27, 2006 |
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While at first intriguing the story lacks any real character development and is more of a compilation of things from other stories with no true creativity. While the author definitely has potential he needs to work on the details of his characters and their mental, emotional state, especially in regards to his female characters. I can’t really put my fingers on it but there is something vital that is lacking in regards to SLIT. All the essential are there but the nuances are not. I wish I could be more specific but for some reason SLIT never captured me. To me she was always just a character in a story and even with the necessary suspension of disbelief needed for all readers of fiction I could never identify with her or see her as a “Person.” The story still has value and is entertaining. I would encourage the author to work his female characters, to examine the feminine thought process, get inside his female characters personality and give them more depth; then his stories would easily rate a nine and perhaps a ten. (6/10)
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- Replied by:
masterdw
(Edit) (Sep 28, 2006)
- The problem with releasing a work peicemeal is that certain things are being saved for later. There is a back story for Zero, and it will be revealed at the end of the story. It is being saved deliberately so as not to telegraph what I hope will be a surprise ending. I did drop one hint, but it was a small one, and could very well have been overlooked.
I deliberately deprived all my characters of names. The purpose was to create a generic "anywoman" who, when faced with unlimited pain and limited sensory experience, is rapidly overwhelmed and tamed. I hope that you will continue reading as I think my next few chapters will capture what I am trying to do. Then of course will be the big finale, where Zero's past will be revealed.
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| Reviewer:
Jeanne F
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 10, 2006 |
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Very good start but only a start! Some advice: lay off the typographical games... HIS and LORD and that kind of reading-impeding textplay. The English language is enough to convey submission and enjoyment thereof and you seem to do it well.
Just be worthy of your word about pain and training... make it hardcore! Zero will thank you. With erect clit peeping up from hairless SLIT! (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 10, 2006 |
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I'd have to agree with DAF about the too-quick acceptance. The only other negative I'd have is the constant repitition of the thanks. Gets a little old after a dozen times.
Otherwise, not a bad start. The details help the reader appreciate more about the setting of the story, and get into the mood. Good job there. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
DAF
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 3, 2006 |
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You have the creativity to be a good writer but that also requires patience. I have difficulty getting involved in the story because she falls into her role far too easily, "the war won" as you state. You can't break someone who doesn't resist. Also you provide a lot of detail on issues irrelevant to the story, such as her pee going in a stream running under the building. The same effect can be conveyed using the word drain. (6/10)
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- Replied by:
masterdw
(Edit) (Sep 5, 2006)
- Perhaps you will like the quick revolt in chapter 3 when I get there. It is a matter of preference, but I do not like the stories that take 150 pages of whippings to break the girl. I'd rather get beyond unwilling cooperation and into moving beyond pain, to a quasi religous ecstay at the opportunity to serve. That is where I am going, but it takes time to get there. If you keep reading, I think you will enjoy. Thanks
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| Reviewer:
bluebanana
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 1, 2006 |
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pretty good start for the story, will look for more soon. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 31, 2006 |
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good start i am curious to see where you go from here (7/10)
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