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Suppressing the Rebellion
Author: LargeSpoon
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(Added on Jul 23, 2006)
(This month 86693 readers) (Total 126901 readers) |
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Irina, in a bout of patriotism, signed up with a rebel band that was fighting the occuption. On her first assignment, the eager amateur was caught... |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
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of Ratings: 8 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7/10) |
| Average
Rating: (7/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (5/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Lee Boudine
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 26, 2007 |
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A stimulating story, though it is redundant causing it to drag the further one reads. Of course the introduction of new characters does revive the action. Greater detail of the reactions of the victims would improve the descriptions. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Claire
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 24, 2007 |
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All of your stories are good and show potential. Don't let mediocer reviews discourage you. Keep going - practice will improve your writing. I know it is difficult for some people. I have started several stories I have never got to the point of submitting. I agree with the reviewer who suggested that you expand on your details. Think of the senses - hearing, smelling ets. As a woman I also prefer stories that describe more what the characters are feeling.
There is nothing wrong with your first two stories except that they end before you get to the good stuff. Please let us know what happens to these victims. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
Mothbrad
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 10, 2006 |
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I'm enjoying this story, and although the author has admitted to 'drifting about', so long as the story keeps moving forwards, and keeps growing, I think it will be one that I will have to keep an eye on. (7/10)
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- Replied by:
largespoon
(Edit) (Nov 11, 2006)
- Thank you for the review. I'm committed to this one, although I had admittedly been discouraged by the lack of reviews and readers. In fact, I had been tempted to just throw in the towel.
Please let me know what you think about my first serious attempt so I know whether or not it's worth continuing!
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| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 25, 2006 |
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Many seeds which could develop a fine story. Some internal confusions (such as the guard who wakes her and brings her to interrogation; male or female? Both pronouns are used) could be fixed with just a little rewriting and careful editing.
Most of all, please, slow down! There's no rush (in wordcount, I mean) to finish a chapter. Take a little more wordage, expand your descriptions, add detail. Your reader count will rise, and your scores increase. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
YamiNoHikari
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 24, 2006 |
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update please, now that it almost the time for the torture. I'll read it when you update, but if you don't mind please send an email to me when you had the update. (yami_no_hikari at operamail.com) (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
rob.wilson
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 24, 2006 |
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I have to agree with the previous review. Your not really developing the ideas well, but you are showing a lot of promise.
With a couple of rewrites I think you would have a really enjoyable story. (5/10)
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- Replied by:
largespoon
(Edit) (Jul 24, 2006)
- I know that I have been drifting around a bit... but I am enjoying this one and a third part is waiting to be posted. Hopefully you are enjoying it on its own merits (although you seem to be annoyed by the circumstances). However, with this story I feel like I'm cranking out the best I can do; if people tend to agree it's just 5/10 material, I don't know if I should waste my time with it or not. Let me know what you think... I like reading the reviews.
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| Reviewer:
littleone_
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 23, 2006 |
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LargeSpoon is making the mistake so many new authros make. He is not finishing anything and jumping from one story to the next. In each one he covers more or less the same thing over again. It is really a shame as she shows real promise. I hope he finishes at least one story sometime soon. (5/10)
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- Replied by:
largespoon
(Edit) (Jul 23, 2006)
- I admit that I jumped on whatever idea I had at the moment and cranked out two stories I feel were kind of stupid in the end. But I am enjoying writing this one so far and hope you are enjoying reading it as well.
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