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Allah Provides What the Heart Desires
Author: gogo
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(Added on Jun 20, 2006)
(This month 11970 readers) (Total 22482 readers) |
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The wife and teenage daughter of a prominent Jewish philantropist are brutally raped by a terrorist cell group in a home invasion, then abducted and sold into white slavery in Iraq. Husband vows revenge. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 2 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (7/10) |
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| Reviewer:
heycarrieanne
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 22, 2006 |
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This is a very well-crafted story. You explain what is going on. Your main problem is the fact that you have so many typos, I lost count. Plus you also have problems with getting words mixed up, like "vice" with "vise." If the next chapter is without the errors, I will be raising my score to a 9 or 10. (7/10)
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- Replied by:
gogo
(Edit) (Jun 23, 2006)
- Thank you for having taken the time to review this story. I appreciate your time and your comments. However, I do take exception to your characterization of my story as having been poorly written and sloppy and,therefore, tagging it as a bad read for someone else who might come upon your review.
I took a great deal of time reviewing the story before submitting it. I have done so both grammatically (including extensive time with the "spellcheck" function), and in context. Additionally, I have gone over the story again after your review and found one spelling mistake "tim" for time. Moreover, perhaps it is indeed there, but in a quick check, I did not find where I used either "vise" or "vice."
I will take from this review that I can indeed benefit from editing my stories more carefully. However, I am not writing for the New York Times Book Review, nor do I have unlimited time. I wrote the story for a group of folks who might just like to get, what I would hope, is an enjoyable read, even if not perfect! Well, let me get back to my real job, which has nothing to do with editing (*smile*)!. Tnank you again for your helful (er, helpful) thoughts, Carrieanne.
- Replied by:
heycarrieanne
(Edit) (Jun 24, 2006)
- Here you go ... "He had a rush of excitement and was seconds away from giving in, but then thought that, as spiritual leader of these men, he should not give in to his passions but, rather, set an example of a detached teacher of the word of Allah with no earthy vise (but he knew that this was a lie)."
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| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 22, 2006 |
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An excellent story, literate and well crafted. Anxious to see the continuation. (9/10)
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