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Office Politics
Author: English Master
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(Added on Jun 7, 2006)
(This month 81590 readers) (Total 120462 readers) |
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After being caught a proud Indian career woman and her black assistant are given a harsh lesson in corporate politics. Along with two innocent Chinese sisters, they are abducted and subjected to every form of punishment and humiliation. Totally broken by their ordeal, they are turned into pitiful sex slaves |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 5 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5.5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (5.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (7/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (4/10) |
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| Reviewer:
H Dean
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 27, 2006 |
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I was not overly thrilled with this story. It seemed a bit contrived. Technically it needs some work, as well, as Chksng19 already pointed out. A little improvement in the composition and technical aspects would improve this tale nicely. However, I think the main thing needed is a little more time in the crafting.
**As for the use of the word "nigger", I completely disagree with the comment that it was unacceptable. No word should ever be considered "off limits" in a society (USA) where free speech is valued as it is here. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 14, 2006 |
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English Master: the last word of the first chapter is unacceptable for use in the US. Even here.
The story is a good start, other than a lot of spell checker errors (soul instead of sole of the shoe, for example). Otherwise, plenty of material to build on. Looking forwards to more.
Continued use of the offensive word lowers your score, as you are obviously unwilling to listen to your audience. (4/10)
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- Replied by:
H Dean
(Edit) (Jun 27, 2006)
- With all due respect, Chksng19, I think that the suggestion that any word is off limits is a hindrance of the art being attempted. It is like a painter being told that he cannot use a certain color because it is offensive. I realize that the word is offensive to many and I doubt I would use it in my own writings. However, art must be free to be, and the artist must be free of constraint to see his vision through.
- Replied by:
Mr. Pete
(Edit) (Jun 28, 2006)
- Am I living in some kind of alternate reality? This site is devoted to weird and bizarre extremes of behavior, and you're complaining about the use of the word nigger???! Get a grip!
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| Reviewer:
csr
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 9, 2006 |
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A start...needs some work. In a story so short, you used fewer words to describe what was going on than you used to talk about the race of the characters. The fact that someone looks indian or black is incidental; tell us more about the punishment or about the motivation of the characters doing it. I'm not sure why you felt the need to drop the N-bomb at the end--you wrote it like it was the entire focus of the story. (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 8, 2006 |
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the story was ok, at best, but i have to agree with chsng19, certain words can not be use,d my rating is based on a lack luster story and wrong word useage, (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
La Toya
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 8, 2006 |
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Great Start! (7/10)
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