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| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 4 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (3/10) |
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| Reviewer:
oldwino
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 6, 2006 |
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Start of what could be a great series. Was disappointeit did not include the dinner out advenure. my gf will love this it contains her favourite elements., forced public exhibition and humiliation. The scene next store with the kid is great. I gave it a ten for plot, characters and hope of more in future chapters. The prose is a tad wobbly but that should improve. I would love to see two or three more extreme chapters soon. My gf will read your story to me as she sits on my cock . we will be sipping cava. Keep writing I think that you can write a story that she wouldn't act out. she did that great slut slave at a boy scout camp story for three days. Please hit the keyboard. (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 6, 2006 |
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Poorly written, not much there to go on. (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 5, 2006 |
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great idea, terrible sory, the 4 is very genenrous (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
heycarrieanne
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 4, 2006 |
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Grammar is very important in a story! Attempting to write in the first person is almost impossible for good writers. And your tenses don't match. (3/10)
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- Replied by:
C_Lakewood
(Edit) (Jun 6, 2006)
- "Attempting to write in the first person is
almost impossible for good writers." I agree
with your view of the story, but I do not
understand the basis for this comment. There
have been many excellent stories written in
1st person; those in 2nd person, however, are
mostly lame and unsatisfying. Can you explain
your comment?
- Replied by:
heycarrieanne
(Edit) (Jun 6, 2006)
- Very few people can pull off stories written in the first person. This writer failed miserably in their attempt is what I was trying to convey. I am sorry that you did not understand my comment.
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