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Kidnapped and raped
Author: Nikki Pegram
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(Added on May 31, 2006)
(This month 61843 readers) (Total 113201 readers) |
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What happens when you piss off your boyfriend |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
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of Ratings: 3 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (6/10) |
Average
Rating:  (6.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (5/10) |
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| Reviewer:
NC_guy
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 6, 2007 |
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Explicit and rough, yet really well defined through the main character's experience. Feminine perspective this good is rare and valued. Highly erotic if you're into hard core nc. Yet sensitive to the feelings of the heroine/victim. I felt I knew her after it was over. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
lonewolf8
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 1, 2006 |
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I have to agree with the first reviewer, the story was almost sad, rather than sexy.
When you write hard erotica, non-consensual erotica, it's better to go for elements to turn the reader on, rather than make them think too strongly of reality. This is hard fantasy...
Stronger descritions of dress, appearance etc.. would help this story a lot.
I can tell the writer is English by the terminology, the slang. I guess some of the slang used may be common for poeple in England, but I found it odd for a female victim to use female terms of insult for male victims, like twat and cunt. I just don't understand a female using those terms unless the male were in a situation where he was not in control. When he is, terms like bitch, cunt, twat don't apply to me.
But maybe it's an English thing...?
This story has a good plot, but its not sexy as it is written....
It needs sex and emotion if your trying to write erotica.
What was the girl feeling when she was being penetrated? Did her vagina get wet at all? Did she experience pain? Enjoyment against her will?
The writer needs to relate these things to be effective.
If your writing erotica, make it erotic.
If this is a short story about rape, then that's different. Real rape is not erotic. You wrote something more akin to a story about real rape and a woman's experience of an abusive boyfriend and poverty.
Terrific, if your trying to write non-erotic short stories. But it fails there because there were elements of erotica even though there was no real sex and none of the characters seemed to experience real sexual enjoyment or satisfaction.
Decide what your trying to write.
If it is indeed erotica, then please do make it erotic.
Descriptions! Details!
Skirts are sexier than pants by the way...
Thanks for the story. Try this one again, theres a story here, it needs work!
lonewolf8 (5/10)
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- Replied by:
Shimmergirl
(Edit) (Jun 10, 2006)
- It is klind of an Enhlish thing, but I was also bron and bred in London. Swearing there is a natural thing and words are not gender restrictive. You want to ehar the slanging matches I have with the lads at the garage where I work! My language is worse than all of them put together! In my opinion, no rape story can be sexy, because quite simply rape is not. it's messy, it's painful and humiliating. And that's what most people who are into rape look for. As for skirts are sexier than jeans, it's a true story. And no way would you ever catch me wearing a skirt outside work, i'm happiest in my jeans! Also, I have re-read it myself and can find no mention of poverty. Yes, we lived in a grotty 1 bedroom flat, but that was because it needed decorating. I couldn't do it because I was pregnant, and Mike was too lazy to do it. It wasn't due to a lack of money or anything. We were fairly comfortable, for the situation we were in. And as for the abusive bit, yes he had a temper and was quick to lose it, but on the other hand, he could be really loving when/if he wanted to be, so it wasn't all bad. However, even after saying all this, I would like to thank you for your criticisms. After all, it's things like that which make us better writers!
xxx
- Replied by:
Shimmergirl
(Edit) (Jun 10, 2006)
- Ok. First of all, I was born and bred in London, swearing there is a natural thing. You do it unconsciously, without even thinking. Because of this, it also means that no swear word is gender restrictive. We're just as much at home calling men cunts as we are calling women wankers. At the end of the day they're just words and we're not fussed about who we apply them to! Also, in my opinion, rape is not sexy. it is messy painful and humiliating. There si no way that can be classed as sexy. But most people into rape are not looking for sexy, they want a degree of realism. As for the wearing a skirt would be better, outside of work you would never catch me in a skirt. Never ever! And I didn't wish to leave the true story to deviate into something that was a total lie. It happened and I was wearing jeans at the time. That's all there is to it. As for living in poverty, I have re-read the story several times myself and can find no mention of it. We lived in a 1 bedroom flat that was grotty, but that was only because I could decorate ebcause I was pregnant and Mike was too lazy to do anything! With regards to the abusive boyfriend bit, yes he had a temper and yes, he lost it extremely easily. But there were times when he could be very loving if he chose too. It wasn't all bad! Having said all this though, I would like to thank you for your comments as knwoing other people's views on things is what makes us better writers!
xxx
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| Reviewer:
heycarrieanne
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 31, 2006 |
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This story made me sad. And I got very confused about all these different men--some ended up being her lover's friends and he had let them use her before for cash? (5/10)
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