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Yes Mistress
Author: slave ajay
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(Added on May 15, 2006)
(This month 17700 readers) (Total 28987 readers) |
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a slave in the service of his Indian Mistress |
Ratings and Reviews: |
Number
of Ratings: 5 |
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Weighed
Average (?): (5/10) |
Average
Rating: (5/10) |
Highest
Rating: (6/10) |
Lowest
Rating: (4/10) |
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Reviewer:
abitbent
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 18, 2006 |
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I'll echo the same sentiment and say it's typical. The honorifics with the capital M's and lowercase i's make it a tough read and is something that should be condemned to chat rooms only, if at all. Referring to submissives in the "third person" is a pet peeve of mine too. Kudos to the author though for not including the word "handiwork" somewhere in this story. (4/10)
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Reviewer:
Michelle Byssom
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 17, 2006 |
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Please remember that what goes on in your mind as the narrator has to be explained to the reader who does not enjoy that immediate access to your emotions. Although this piece is as it were, an image torn out of time, it could be much more weighty if we the onlooking readers could see inside your mind. Don't say it can't be described: set yourself the task of describing it! The Hindi (?) words are lovely and evocative but you have to find some unobtrusive way of making the reader understand what they mean in plain English. I suspect writing this was a real blast for you - but to communicate your excitement you have to work at the way you express it! Please give us more of your unique experience. (5/10)
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Reviewer:
La Toya
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 16, 2006 |
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spelling problems, no story codes. just you basic, everyday life (4/10)
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Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 16, 2006 |
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story codes would have been nice as well as a big help (6/10)
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Reviewer:
slaveneedledick
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 15, 2006 |
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Like most stories about a sub and mistress. (6/10)
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