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My perfect life
Author: stHell66
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(Added on Mar 23, 2006)
(This month 90296 readers) (Total 132481 readers) |
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Teen girl taken by her step father, and transformed into a pain-slut |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 11 |
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27% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (4.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (4/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (6/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (1/10) |
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| Reviewer:
avidreader
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 19, 2006 |
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Unlike others here who would rather be out reading world class novels I like how you just get to the point. It didnt need character or plot or dimension, it had what it needed. The only thing that I didnt like, and which others also find annoying is the typographical errors. But I mostly read right over them. Perhaps the fault should be mine and not yours. I hope you continue to write despite the poor reviews. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
LoversDelight82
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 19, 2006 |
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There's barely anything that I can add here that hasn't been touched on. Simply put, this is a very poorly written story. I could not read past the first few paragraphs. Your characters are not clearly defined, the scenes are shallow and distastful, and there is virtually no character or scene development. (2/10)
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| Reviewer:
Widget
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 18, 2006 |
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Your story would greatly benefit from a good proof reader and editor. Your characters were very one dimensional and uninteresting. I found the story choppy to read and hard going with all the grammatical and spelling errors.
Maybe if you spent some more time on developing the plot it might be more interesting to read. I hope you keep trying though and maybe you might find a willing person on the forums to give you hand with your proof reading.
(1/10)
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| Reviewer:
magnum
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 18, 2006 |
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Some of your ideas a quite enjoyable, but the reader really has to work to get through the spelling and grammar. More detail to the physical positions would be appreciated. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
badcatholicgirl
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 11, 2006 |
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good start, need alittle more work, pls add more detail and thought to the stories (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
Dododecapod
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 28, 2006 |
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I usually try to list the good before the bad in a review, but frankly I find very little good in this to comment on.
Your writing skills need serious work. It isn't just your terrible spelling; your grammar is also poor to the point of being non-existent.
Still those can be corrected (for goodness sake, at least run a piece through a spell-checker before posting it!). More alarming is the lack of narrative, character conception, or description, the severely restricted vocabulary, and the lack of variety of terminology - particularly in erotic writing, where description is the very heart of the matter.
Where I was not cringing at the damage wrought upon the english language, I was bored.
ALL OF THAT SAID - you DO have some good ideas, and you appear to be able to express the basics of what you're trying to say. And you have the bravery to put your work in place on public forums, where it can be savaged by people like me. This tells me you have promise - if you are willing to work at it. I hope you will. (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
jip
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 27, 2006 |
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Agree with mkense about the "stupid cunt" remark. But the story has a good base. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
La Toya
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 25, 2006 |
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Everyone else has covered the problems with this story
(3/10)
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| Reviewer:
Pottygirl
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 24, 2006 |
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The lack of spellchecking and proof reading, along with far too many abbreviations made reading this less enjoyable than it should have been. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
heycarrieanne
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 23, 2006 |
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The horrible spelling and poor grammar takes away from anything that might be good about this story. Perhaps you need a proofreader? (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 23, 2006 |
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the sotry was ok but less "stupid cunt" ect would have made it more enjoyable, you seemd more concernend about the langauge used in the sotry then the details and the story itself (5/10)
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