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Connie\'s Girl
Author: shorterbus
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(Added on Mar 22, 2006)
(This month 77931 readers) (Total 122670 readers) |
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Allison, a beautiful, successful divorcee, is abducted and enslaved by a female co-worker. If there is enough interest, I\'ll post more. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 9 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (9/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (4/10) |
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 25, 2010 |
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(Mar 22, 2006)
Nice start of an interesting story. Looking forward to added chapters.
Well done, shorterbus...
*EDIT*
Exquisitely written story, with crystal clear characters. Although I found the general idea to be a tad too close to Couture's "Amazon-Dot-Cum" (which i just recently read), the content is fingerlicking good and stands tall on its own, with or without influence from the aformentioned...
Great stuff.
JJ (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
azrlg17
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 5, 2006 |
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I don't find it believable that anyone can be broken so fast. One half an hour and she's too afraid to ever try something? And even if someone is broken I don't believe that they don't try to run away when such easy possibilities present themselves. How hard is it to go to the police? Or to get a gun and go postal on Maxine? Yeah, yeah, she's too afraid for that. I don't believe it.
The only redeeming quality of this story is the guilt angle of Connie. That has the makings of a fine greek tragedy. Get what you wish for and go mad with guilt. Of course Maxine and maybe even Allison would have to die too.
Apart from that there's not much. Even the sex is more like a checklist, then she would "spend the next hour licking Connie’s wrinkled old pussy". Is that all? Really weak. (4/10)
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- Replied by:
azrlg17
(Edit) (Jul 9, 2007)
- Yeah, but I'm a fast reader :-). And I had hoped for the "greek tragedy" angle. Would be something different for once.
- Replied by:
shorterbus
(Edit) (Jul 23, 2007)
- A couple of times each year - year after year after year - victims of abduction make headlines by being rescued, and each and every time the studpid people say "Why were they so cooperative with their abductors?" and each and every time the intelligent people have to explain it to them.
azrlg17,you managed to get to the "wrinkled old pussy" line which means depsite how "weak" the story is you read the whole damn thing! Hmmm.
- Replied by:
JimmyJump
(Edit) (Jun 25, 2010)
- Someone should kidnap (adultnap?) azrlg17 and tickle her/him a bit, see how fast he/she would shit his/her pants.
JJ
- Replied by:
JimmyJump
(Edit) (Jun 25, 2010)
- Stupid 'resending' of this miserable board added the reply twice...
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| Reviewer:
Parker
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 5, 2006 |
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Nice work. I look forward to seeing more and perhaps some of your other stories. It's a shame you can't post some of your pics here as well. (9/10)
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- Replied by:
shorterbus
(Edit) (Aug 7, 2006)
- Thanks Parker, coming from a writer of your caliber it means a great deal. I've got lots more writeen of this story, and stories far better - some of them book length, others fully illustrated. But the feedback you get here is so feeble I just can't get motivated to post any of it.
- Replied by:
Parker
(Edit) (Aug 8, 2006)
- I've pm'd you in response.
- Replied by:
Curtis
(Edit) (Jul 5, 2007)
- Shorterbus, you had eight reviews by this point, and you're calling the response 'feeble'? That's just not realistic. I got three reviews and three e-mails and thought I'd died and gone to heaven.
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| Reviewer:
karada
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 5, 2006 |
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Let me start out by saying that I've only recently stumbled onto your work and I love it. I read a lot of stuff and the quality of this story blows everything out of the water. Keep it going! (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 14, 2006 |
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wat to go can't wait for more (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
sheilagirl
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 2, 2006 |
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Definitely a thumbs up here. Can't wait to see how this plays out. The setup is first rate writing and deserves all the encouragement I can give... (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
Benito
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 29, 2006 |
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Excellent!!
Are you shorterbus, the same from renderotica? I like your work (do you have a web page or something?) (10/10)
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- Replied by:
shorterbus
(Edit) (Apr 3, 2006)
- Yes, same guy, only I no longer post pics at Renderotica. No, don't have a website - no computer savvy. I have written many stories, most of them with numerous illustrations but so few people bother to leave comments or reviews I feel no compulsion to post them. I post some of the tamer pics at Renderosity. Go there and do an author search of "shorterbus" and I will come up, but only if you have registered - otherwise they assume you're under-age and it will say nothing matches your search
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| Reviewer:
BDSM_Tourguide
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 26, 2006 |
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Good start. I look forward to seeing more. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
slaveneedledick
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 23, 2006 |
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Very well written. At first it was bit hard to get into the story but it developed nicely. Would love to read about the training of Allison (9/10)
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