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Then Two
Author: David
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(Added on Mar 2, 2006)
(This month 10561 readers) (Total 21193 readers) |
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A married couple who lead part time D/s life decide to spice things up a little with the addition of another sub. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 1 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (6/10) |
Average
Rating:  (7/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (7/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (7/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Millie
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 22, 2006 |
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The idea was good, as is your other story but you are let down by poor presentation. There are sections where you have two people speaking to each other but there are no gaps, no speech marks, nothing to make this obvious. It spoils the flow and is very distracting. Getting someone to proofread for you would prevent this from happening. (7/10)
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