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Remote Control
Author: David Jorden
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(Added on Feb 17, 2006)
(This month 20869 readers) (Total 46964 readers) |
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Sharon is a beautiful model who gets captured and turned into a perverted remote control sex toy. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 8 |
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13% |
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25% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7.5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (7.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (8/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (5/10) |
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 13, 2006 |
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Good story, poorly executed.
Too much use of the word "she", instead of the character's name...
It gets complicated when there's 2 women in the same scene.
Also, if I were to state that "The man was bald. You could tell because he had no hair on his head..." that may strike people as being comical... so forgive me when I almost fell off my chair when I read (sic) "...it had been shaved and waxed (her pussy), she could tell from the complete lack of hair."... funny stuff mate.
Syntax and punctuation leave much room for amelioration...
JJ (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
La Toya
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 18, 2006 |
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good start, but were you go from here, will be a factor in raising my review of your story (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
cooee
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 18, 2006 |
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A good start, looking forward to the next installment. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Kev
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 18, 2006 |
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Looking forward to the continuation and usage of the new toy. For me forced arousal and humiliation are my favorite subjects. That and f/f stories that is. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
Spitman
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 18, 2006 |
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Excellent ideas and good writing skills. I would like to see this extended into play with the newly created toy. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
jip
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 18, 2006 |
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Interesting story. Hope that more will follow as it is promising. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
bracemaiden
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 17, 2006 |
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Interesting. I hope to see more, but I also hope to keep the suspension of disbelief going; it's wearing thin. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 17, 2006 |
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great start hope to see more soon (8/10)
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