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The story of my submission Author: Slave Lisa
(Added on Feb 2, 2006) (This month 9480 readers) (Total 19447 readers)
This is the true story of how I submitted to my Mistress.

Ratings and Reviews:
Number of Ratings: 3
3 Votes
3 Votes
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3 Votes
3 Votes
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3 Votes
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Weighed Average (?): (3/10)
Average Rating: (2/10)
Highest Rating: (2/10)
Lowest Rating: (2/10)

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Reviewer: mkemse (Edit) Rating: Apr 11, 2007
bad layout, spacing paragraphs it just needs alot of work (2/10)

Reviewer: JayR (Edit) Rating: Feb 5, 2006
As Rocky said, your spelling and paragraph formatting are very bad. Also, I suggest that you work on your descriptive skills; you never mention the tastes and feelings of sex, nor do you mention the appearances of your girlfriend or your mistress. The plot is not very interesting, but as a real life story, who cares? Finally, please stop saying 'golden nectar'. I'm not sure whether you're referring to secretions or urine, and frankly hearing the term used so many times in one paragraph is quite annoying. (2/10)

Reviewer: Rocky (Edit) Rating: Feb 3, 2006
Well, I almost made it through the second paragraph. Of course, the entire story is the second paragraph, so that's not saying much. That said, I suggest you either take a writing class or find someone to proof-read for you. By the way, now does someone "dumb" their cum into you? It was an interesting premise, but you lack of writing skill really made it nothing but a jumble of words. Take a careful look at what you wrote, fix the basic grammar errors, figure out where the paragraph breaks should be, and try posting it again. (2/10)

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