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Black Mistress, White Family
Author: Pallidan
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(Added on Jun 11, 2005)
(This month 20138 readers) (Total 36862 readers) |
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A Young black lady moves in with a white family, or should it be takes control of the white family. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 3 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (3/10) |
Average
Rating:  (2.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (5/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (1/10) |
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| Reviewer:
rebelfan1
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 4, 2005 |
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Pallidan continues to post the same plot over and over again. His/her writing and gramatical skills are below a grammer school level. Please learn how to write or find someone to edit your stories. Otherwise, stop posting them because there actually get in the way of searching for good stories. (1/10)
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| Reviewer:
crickette
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 12, 2005 |
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Pretty descent story. A few grammatical errors here and there. Nothing major. I liked the storyline but it seemed to get bogged down a little as the story went on. The very 1st scene with the husband was the best written. It also semed like there was alot you wanted to tell us about the plot and characters but felt you had to get it all in at one time, making it a littled rushed. Keeping it in the family was a nice touch. Also make sure your transitions from scene to scene are smooth. One or two were a little bumpy. Overall, the story has a good plot and good characters to work with. With a little tweeking, this story could have real promise. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
darklace
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 11, 2005 |
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Pallidan has been prolifically posting stories for a little over a week now, and they all need work. The grammar is terrible. The spelling could be better. His (her?) ideas are sound, but I think would work better if he sat down and read 'Eats, Shoots & Leaves' and then wrote one long story instead of dozens of short ones. (1/10)
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