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Judgement Day
Author: Michelle Byssom
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(Added on Mar 19, 2005)
(This month 53658 readers) (Total 68447 readers) |
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As a young slave submits to being executed as a warning to other slaves not to run away Sally realises the bond between herself and her Master. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 12 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8.5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (8.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (8/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Mothbrad
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 31, 2007 |
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As much as I love the all action/all brutality stories, this one shows the other side of the coin, being almost entirely about the emotions of the narrator, with glimpses into the emotions of other characters. As melancholy as it is erotic, the snuff aspect is downplayed to such an extent that if you aren't paying attention, you could just about miss it. I hope that Michelle keeps on creating stories here, as she has a special talent. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
MaitreDamien
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 15, 2005 |
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A good and descriptive presentation and thought of the slave. A short surprising, in some ways, expectable snuff scene. Good. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
rob.wilson
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 15, 2005 |
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Not what I was expecting. Very well written and interesting. A wonderful little tale. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
kaleun76
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 6, 2005 |
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A little slow, but interesting. The concept and presentation are quite new.
Good story (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
longrover
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 25, 2005 |
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Very well written. Initially curious about the society the characters live in, the last few paragraphs made everything clear. Thank you for a provocative read. (9/10)
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- Replied by:
Michelle Byssom
(Edit) (Mar 26, 2005)
- Thank you longrover. Do you think it would have helped to have started, as it were, from the end, so that the reader understood the narrator's position from the beginning? I think I rather grew with the narrator on this one - not a great idea for a procedure! Perhaps I should have made more of her confusion at the start so that her realisation that she does not after all identify with the woman being executed comes as more of a dramatic stroke.
Provocative? I like to think I'm just getting into my stride here! [grins]
- Replied by:
longrover
(Edit) (Mar 30, 2005)
- Curiosity is a good motivater -- I'd leave it as is. I gather that some writers work from a detailed outline while others rely on their characters to tell them what comes next. I think that picking the starting point readers see is a design judegement best left to the author. Your decision worked for me in this case.
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| Reviewer:
La Toya
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 25, 2005 |
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I kind of hope the snuff would have lasted a little longer, but that is just me. If your one of those who reads reviews first, this is a good read. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
slo18
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 21, 2005 |
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it apealed to me on more then just a sexual level. I found the slave who told the story to be identifiable and the rules of the society she resided in to be clearly spelled out with out feeling like it was exposition. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
Dododecapod
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 21, 2005 |
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I would not have though one could create a piece with both snuff and tenderness, yet this you have successfully done. Truly, bravo. My only problem is that I did not find this particularly erotic; perhaps some attention to sessions other than the slave's final performance..? Nonetheless, a well written and interesting piece. Some sentences and phrases seemed a little stilted, though otherwise your editing was excellent. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
LordVetinari
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 20, 2005 |
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Interesting and unusual. Is this a sort of sequel to First Night? It kinda felt like one. Regardless, I liked it. In the words of Arthur Dodgson's most famous protagonist: "Somehow it fills my head with ideas—only I don’t exactly know what they are!" (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Mad Lews
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 19, 2005 |
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A well written story of intense emotion . You let your characters tell the story in word and deed. That's what makes a fantasy situation so much more believable. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
bisarah
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 19, 2005 |
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while i am not a fan of snuff, this story was extreme well written. you could feel the emotions of all involved in the story. good job! (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
meanoldman43
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 19, 2005 |
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It is loosely a continuation of previous stories. At least the author's master/slave relationship is similiar. There is little overt torture, but the sexual tension is always there.And there are so many strands that can be picked up in future stories.
(8/10)
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